Categories
Self Improvement

How a Man Becomes Cold Hearted!

How a Man Becomes Cold Hearted!

Step into the complex world of male emotions, where deep connections can unexpectedly turn cold.

Let’s unravel the reasons behind this sudden change, from past experiences that left scars to the pain of rejection.

What is a Cold-Hearted Man?

A cold-hearted man is someone who seems to have little or no empathy or warmth towards others.

He might act distant, unkind, or indifferent to the feelings of those around him, and instead of showing care or compassion, he might be harsh, uncaring, or even cruel.

Essentially, he keeps his emotions locked away, making it hard for others to connect with him on an emotional level.

Think of characters like Ebenezer Scrooge from Charles Dickens’ “A Christmas Carol.”

He starts off as a cold-hearted man who cares only about money and himself, ignoring the needs and feelings of others.

In my opinion one of the greatest stories about a cold-hearted man of all time.

Ok, so Why did Scrooge become cold-hearted in the first place?

Ebenezer Scrooge became cold-hearted primarily due to a combination of past trauma and his intense focus on wealth and material success.

As a young man, he suffered neglect and loneliness, which hardened his heart against forming emotional connections with others.

Over time, his obsession with accumulating wealth and his fear of poverty further isolated him from society, causing him to become callous and indifferent to the suffering of others.

Additionally, Scrooge’s bitterness towards the world compounded his cold-heartedness, as he viewed kindness and generosity as signs of weakness rather than virtues to be embraced.

It wasn’t until he was confronted with the consequences of his actions by the ghosts of Christmas Past, Present, and Yet to Come that Scrooge began to thaw and rediscover his capacity for compassion and empathy.

Despite it being such an old and classic tale, how relatable is that to the modern man who becomes cold-hearted nowadays!

Especially in the digital age, where heavily filtered social media photos and videos are shoved down our throats showing men everything they ever wanted in life, the money, the house, the car, the relationship, the friendships, the happiness etc…

This is a serious problem…

Typically, in the past men as they got older in life would become a lot grumpier as grandparents etc.

But unfortunately, now, men as young as 20 are becoming cold-hearted…

What are the typical traits of a cold-hearted man?

Well, based on my own research, and in the brief and dark times where I was far more cold-hearted too, I believe it is the following…

Lack of Empathy

He struggles to understand or relate to the emotions and experiences of others, showing little compassion or concern for their well-being.

His heart has frozen, and whether it be somebody down on their luck, or hearing of a tragedy, he just simply struggles to relate and take it on board.

I knew of a cold-hearted young man in his 30s, who for whatever reason just struggled to show any compassion or empathy after my father tragically died.

He never had any idea what to say to me.

He showed little to no sympathy.

And he came across rude and extremely cold, especially when things were so raw insisting I just “get on with my life,” when my father had not even been buried yet.

In hindsight it was clear, he was and had become cold-hearted, and now coming from a far more logical and less emotional viewpoint of his behaviour, its pretty clear to see.

Self-Centeredness

He prioritizes his own needs and desires above those of others, often displaying selfish behaviour and little regard for the impact his actions may have on others.

I once knew of an extremely cold-hearted and selfish man who neglected his mother so badly when she was dying of old age.

When he put her into a nursing home, he hardly visited her, and she never even had a television in her room to entertain herself.

And anytime she begged and pleaded to see her son, he would respond selfishly “It’s my time now, you’ve lived your life!”

The worst of all is he went on vacation and found out his mother had passed away in her sleep, and STILL decided to see out the remainder of his trip rather than rush back and be by his mother’s side.

I know that is an extreme example, but it was a real one, and this man never used to be like this, and in the past loved his mother greatly…

Regrettably he just became extremely cold-hearted…

Isolation

He may prefer solitude or isolation, distancing himself from social interactions and preferring to keep to himself rather than engaging with others.

As I have gotten older, I have learnt to enjoy my own company more, but that is also because I was always out socialising in my younger days with many people.

But regrettably, the man who becomes cold-hearted in his life shuts himself away from society for longer periods of time, and sadly to his detriment in the process too.

Resistance to Change

He is resistant to personal growth or self-reflection, preferring to remain stagnant rather than confront his own shortcomings or vulnerabilities.

This is where the cold-hearted man may border along the lines of becoming extremely toxic and narcissistic.

Not towards other people as such, but to himself.

It’s easier to sit there and point the blame at other people, such as women, the government, society, the banks, the system, strangers online for his predicament.

Of course, whilst he might have compelling arguments to all that and more, at the end of the day he becomes nothing short of a broken record, and that is where it becomes a slippery slope…

As the years compound, and he just gets more stuck and set in his old bitter ways, rather than changing himself, growing and or trying a different perspective at his predicament!

Inability to Forgive

He holds onto grudges and past grievances, finding it difficult to forgive or let go of perceived slights or wrongdoings.

He genuinely believes that he has been so hard done by, and tarnishes everyone and anybody else with the same brush.

Assuming all women are the same, just because he got cheated on by the wrong woman in a past relationship.

Assuming all male friends are liars and backstabbers, just because he got screwed over by the wrong friends at school.

Assuming everything will just go the same as it did in the past, not recognizing that it was his naivety and his poor choice of friends and relationships that got himself into that predicament in the first place.

The grudges and his inability to forgive eat him away constantly, keep him awake at night, and make him extremely triggered, robbing him of joy, satisfaction, and any chance of a happier and more successful life.

I have the scars and stories and life experiences to make me a very cold-hearted man.

I have had friends betray me and screw me over.

I have had family lie to me, shame me, and humiliate me.

I have had women reject me, embarrass me, and degrade me.

I have had people in business steal money from me and cause me stress and agitation.

However, despite the pain, the trauma, the suffering etc, and whilst I certainly am a realist more than deluded, I stopped being so cold and bitter.

But that was my personal choice, through growing and learning about this very topic.

The following are the typical ways a man becomes cold hearted, which I have taken inspiration from my own life experiences up until this moment….

The SCG SHOW is officially sponsored by Betterhelp!

I have personally used BetterHelp and I found it to be very effective for turning my life around for the better!

Betterhelp is therapy online which offers weekly sessions via phone, video, and live chat.

Betterhelp matches you with a therapist according to where you are, what you are looking for, and what you are needing help with!

If it isn’t a great fit, Betterhelp makes switching therapists easy!

Therapy is a great way to take care of ourselves mentally, just like we try to do physically through healthy dieting and exercise.

Online therapy can teach you valuable life coping skills, and can support you amazingly when those tough times occur too!

For 10% off your first month of online therapy via Betterhelp today, Click here!

DISCOVER INNER STRENGTH and START HEALING TODAY with Betterhelp!

(By using this link you will be supporting The SCG SHOW community.)

#1 – How a Man Becomes Cold-Hearted (Part One)

Here are the following ways a man becomes cold-hearted…

Self-Protection Mechanism

Repeated rejection and disappointment can lead to a subconscious desire to protect oneself from further emotional harm.

In response, some men may develop a facade of emotional detachment as a defence mechanism to shield themselves from vulnerability.

When I was in my early 20s and even 30s, I so desperately wanted what I have right now, a good stable relationship with an attractive woman I could see a future with.

But no matter how hard I tried…

No matter how much I prayed…

No matter how desperately I wanted it…

It just never was going to happen for me, and the real reason why is harsh but necessary for you to understand – is this, I was not ready.

I was way too emotionally and mentally immature, I was too thin and weak looking, my sense of style was a mess, and I lacked serious confidence and experience with dating, talking to women etc.

But for several periods of time, I became cold-hearted and disinterested in dating and women overall.

I disguised it as disinterest, and from the outside looking in, it appeared that I never wanted to have a serious relationship and or settle down – but deep down I always did.

I remember going out for dinner with my late father and brother and just spouting nonsense about women and dating, saying stuff like:

Marriage is a scam and a complete waste of time; I cannot see it happening for me ever because I will choose to never do it!”

They both looked at me with complete shock and disgust, as I had never said or believed in such things before, and then they said to me:

“This is not you; I don’t know who you are pretending to be or who has got these ideas into your head, but you need to stop!”

Years later when I was last single, I spoke to a close friend of mine who is happily married and said the following to him:

“Maybe I will never settle down, and just spend my life as a bachelor with casual relationships with multiple women!”

He shook his head, and rightly so and told me to “Grow up, please!”

It was my coping mechanism for my predicament, and my predicament at the time was feeling desperately lonely and frustrated that I never had love in my life or a healthy relationship.

That is why some men appear to be cold-hearted.

Lack of Support

If men do not have a strong support system to help them process their emotions and cope with rejection, they may resort to emotional detachment as a way of dealing with their pain.

Without healthy outlets for expressing their feelings, they may internalize their emotions and become increasingly cold-hearted as a result.

Why do you think forums and communities like “The Red Pill” and speakers like Andrew Tate have grown so much in popularity recently?

Because for the cold-hearted man, who has been bitterly and harshly rejected for a great deal of time and cannot catch a break can relate to such content and individuals.

It’s almost like an excuse.

For me, regrettably, I had succumbed for a period of time to The Red Pill community, by a toxic former friend who was the biggest liar and hypocrite going.

He insisted that I read up on the material, join the forums etc, and back then it was nowhere near as popular or mainstream as it is today.

The more I read, and the more other men I spoke to online, the more I felt a sense of belonging, and community.

I didn’t have that in my personal life, sure I had friends, I had family, but nobody who could understand my pain and suffering.

I have been self-employed for 14 years, and I work alone 90% of the time remotely in an office alone too, or at home.

I hardly see many people, or speak to them face to face, so to be single as well as working primarily alone used to hurt me.

And most of the people in and around my life were either in relationships, married, or had children etc.

When I would reach out for help and support nobody could understand my predicament, or my loneliness, or take any understanding for my situation.

In 2020 my father tragically died young, and my mother has now been widowed and living alone for several years.

She has lost her husband in the worst possible way, and now lives a life single and far more alone than ever before.

She turned around to me not long ago and bravely admitted the following:

“I want to apologise for those times where I saw how upset and hurt you were being single and alone and just wanting a relationship, and never emphasising with you.

Now I know how that feels, in the cruellest way possible, and it’s awful…”

Nobody taught me how to handle rejection.

Nobody taught me how to handle being alone for so long.

Hence why just like I used to be, men in those situations become cold-hearted.

I’d love to tell you about my sponsor Keen!

Keen provides access to vetted psychics and spiritual advisors who provide guidance and insight on life’s challenges, clarity in love, relationships, career, and more.

Keen is also one of the most affordable ways to get an instant psychic reading by an accredited advisor at any time, 24/7!

Yes, Keen advisors are available 24/7!

There’s always someone online. You can also easily schedule a call with an advisor!

As a new Keen customer and using my link only, you can try your first 10 minutes for only $1.99!

Pricing then depends on which advisor you choose, and the services are backed with a satisfaction guarantee.

Keen is the most affordable way to connect with a psychic advisor!

When you find the right advisor, developing an ongoing relationship leads to several benefits:

·        Astrology and Tarot Readings

·        Chakra Clearing

·        And SO much more!

Check out Keen today right here!

#2 – How a Man Becomes Cold-Hearted (Part Two)

Here are more interesting ways a man becomes cold-hearted…

Emotional Exhaustion

Constant rejection and disappointment can drain one’s emotional energy.

Men who have been through a series of unsuccessful relationships may become emotionally exhausted, causing them to shut down emotionally as a way of preserving what little emotional energy they have left.

I recall when I was hopelessly single in the past, and every single time I would get close to a woman, or assume things would be progressing to that next level, I would either get rejected or become bitterly disappointed in the outcome.

For example, it would appear we were getting along and that things might escalate to either a second date or more.

And then I would be met with the following excuses by the types of women I used to date:

“I am sorry but I only like you as a friend.”

“I am not looking for a serious relationship.”

“I have been offered a job abroad and I accepted it.”

“I am planning to move out of the city and closer to my family.”

“I just do not see any way we can date each other.”

“I do not find you as attractive as I thought.”

“I think it’s better we just cut ties completely.”

Crushed by a bitter rejection that was often not even my own fault I used to feel drained and totally exhausted.

For instance, say I was met with rejection (typically over text message) I would then spend the following few days in isolation, alone feeling sorry for myself.

And that is when worst of all I would become very attached to my smartphone and go down the rabbit hole of content and influencers who reinforced negative views of women, relationships and so much more.

Once hindsight is a beautiful and of course often overlooked thing.

Every woman I ever dated in the past was wrong for me.

Including every single relationship too.

Every time I got hung up, disappointed, or let down was just a part of the dating process.

Which led me to the man I am today, with the wisdom and experience to fully appreciate how far I have grown, and be grateful for all that I have as well.

But I was very cold-hearted unfortunately….

And that is because I was SO emotionally exhausted.

Cynicism

Prolonged exposure to rejection and disappointment can breed cynicism towards relationships and love in general.

Men who have experienced numerous setbacks may adopt a cynical outlook, viewing relationships as inherently flawed or destined for failure.

This cynicism can contribute to their emotional detachment and cold-heartedness.

Here are the following typical cynical beliefs and statements men who become cold-hearted genuinely believe and feel:

“Love? It’s just a word people throw around until they find a reason to walk away.”

“A woman is never yours, it’s just your turn.” 

“Relationships are like sinking ships; the longer you stay on board, the deeper you drown.”

“Why invest in someone who will inevitably leave when things get tough? It’s just a matter of time.”

“Behind every ‘I love you’ is an expiration date waiting to be revealed.”

“Commitment is just a fancy word for someone signing up to eventually break your heart.”

“Trust? It’s just a gamble we take, hoping we won’t end up losing everything.”

“Fairy tales are for children; in the real world, love is just a temporary distraction from the pain.”

“Love is a transaction; we give pieces of ourselves away, hoping to get something in return.”

This happened to me of course!

I became cynical, and so negative, so critical, and such a different man overall!

And yes, I did unfortunately display signs of a cold-hearted man.

I questioned everything, almost became a bit of a conspiracy theorist with extreme views on dating, women, society etc.

Did this make me happier as a man overall?

No.

Did this improve the quality of my life overall?

Certainly not.

Did this improve my chances with women and dating?

No.

In fact, when I did go on ANY dates, I would find myself lecturing women about “how unlucky men are when it comes to dating and relationships.”

All those rejections and setbacks made me temporarily very cynical.

Any motivation or hope or confidence in me at that time was temporarily shattered, and I found myself bitter and so cold-hearted.

Do you know who needs to invest in digital security?

Anyone with something worth protecting.

And if you’re reading this post, I’m guessing that is you.

Because, like most Americans, you’ve spent a good part of your life building a life worth protecting.

That’s why I am excited to partner with Aura, who is sponsoring The SCG SHOW.

Aura is a digital security solution that protects your online accounts, connection, and devices with one simple subscription.

For as low as $10 a month, you’ll get alerted to fraud and threats FAST— like if your online accounts or passwords were leaked online, or if someone tries to open a bank account in your name or social security number.

Aura will also protect your devices from malware and encrypt your WiFi connection so you can shop, bank and stream online securely.

With an easy online dashboard and alerts sent straight to your phone, Aura keeps you in control and guides you through solving any issues

All plans come with $1 million in identity theft insurance to help recover eligible losses, and experienced, US-based customer support that’s got your back.

For hard-working Americans, who have worked their whole lives to build a life worth protecting, I recommend Aura.

So, if you want a secure your online presence from hackers, scammers and noisy advertising companies go to Aura and when you use my link, you’ll get up to 40% off all plans!

#3 – How a Man Becomes Cold-Hearted (Part Three)

Here is part three of the number of ways a man becomes cold-hearted…

A Lack of Support

Have you ever wondered why the likes of Andrew Tate, Jordan Peterson, David Goggins etc have grown so rapidly in popularity online these past few years?

Because sadly most men, especially younger men are lacking support, healthy role models, who can resonate with their struggles, and give them advice that is far more practical and beneficial too.

If men do not have a strong support system to help them process their emotions and cope with rejection, they may resort to emotional detachment as a way of dealing with their pain.

Without healthy outlets for expressing their feelings, they may internalize their emotions and become increasingly cold-hearted as a result.

The problem with the lack of support is people can and will become attached and reliant to online communities and ideologies like “The Red Pill.” – let me explain more…

Imagine you’re watching a movie, and there’s this character who learns a big secret about the world that changes everything he thought he knew.

The “red pill” idea is kind of like that.

It comes from a movie called “The Matrix.”

In the movie, the main character gets offered a choice between a red pill and a blue pill. If he takes the blue pill, he goes back to his normal life, but if he takes the red pill, he learns the truth about the world, even though it might be hard to handle.

So, when people talk about taking the red pill online, they’re talking about discovering some eye-opening truth about society, usually related to men’s issues or how they see the world.

It’s like waking up to see things differently, even if those things might be uncomfortable or challenging.

When I was first introduced to the “red pill” a long time ago online, I was done so by a very sad, toxic, and negative former friend.

This so-called friend at the time was also a massive hypocrite, who would insist to me that “I never want to get married as all women are the same.”

The last I heard of this guy, he was happily married, with a child on the way too.

And as I dived deeper into the theories, and philosophies of “the red pill” mostly online, I started behaving in the following ways:

I became far angrier and more aggressive.

I was pigeonholing men and women into certain categories.

I was far more negative, and way more of an avoidant.

I adopted an all or nothing attitude to the world.

All because I lacked at the time good, healthy, and positive male role models in my youth, which contributed to making me far more cold-hearted as a man.

Social Expectations

Societal norms and expectations surrounding masculinity can play a significant role in how men process and express their emotions.

In many cultures such as the mediterranean one, men are socialized to be strong, stoic, and unemotional, which can lead to the suppression of vulnerable emotions like sadness or hurt.

As a result, men may feel pressure to maintain a facade of toughness even in the face of emotional turmoil, leading to emotional detachment.

This is where certain influencers online like Andrew Tate, and certain forums and blogs promote “Toxic Masculinity.”

Toxic masculinity is when society tells boys and men that they always have to be tough and hide their emotions.

It’s like a rule that says guys can’t cry or show vulnerability because it’s seen as weak.

This pressure to always be strong and stoic can make it hard for guys to express themselves and can even lead to them doing things they don’t want to do, just to fit in.

But in reality, it’s okay for men to have feelings and talk about them.

Toxic masculinity puts unfair expectations on guys, making it difficult for them to be true to themselves.

Here are some common phrases you might hear from men promoting toxic masculinity:

“Real men don’t cry.”

“Stop acting like a girl.”

“Toughen up and take it like a man.”

“Showing emotions is a sign of weakness.”

“I don’t need help, I can handle it on my own.”

“Don’t be a wimp, just suck it up.”

“Being emotional is for women, not men.”

Sadly, I have been guilty of this, where it would result in me completely bottling my emotions and never expressing them or letting them out in a healthy manner.

Around three years after the tragic death of my father, it finally hit me like a tonne of bricks in one very emotional evening aka that he was gone forever.

I cried for days.

I lost complete control.

I was so upset and hurt.

Because in my culture, it was wrong to show any pain and hurt for my dad dying tragically, aka it was not manly enough.

Hence why for two years after his death I was SO cold-hearted…

Here’s something you can do right now to save money: switch to Mint Mobile, who I’m partnering with on THE SCG SHOW brand.

You might already know Mint Mobile if you’ve seen those funny ads from Ryan Reynolds, who is also an owner, but let me quickly tell you how awesome their service is!

Mint Mobile offers premium wireless for as low as $15/month and you don’t have to sacrifice any coverage, speed or data.

They’re built on the nation’s largest 5G network. They keep costs low because they sell direct to you online – they cut out the retail stores and salespeople.

Switching to Mint is super easy. Thanks to their digital eSIM cards, you can sign-up and activate immediately right on your phone from the comfort of your home.

No more standing around waiting in line at a “Big Wireless” store.

You can keep your current device and phone number and easily switch services.

And if your phone isn’t eSIM compatible, Mint will ship you a new SIM card free of charge.

Unlimited nationwide talk and text, plus lightning fast 5G and free mobile hotspot.

Mint will show you how much data you use each month and recommend plans that save you money.

Mint also offers a Modern Family Plan that lets you set up a super affordable family plan with as little as two lines!

Get premium wireless starting at $15 a month HERE!

Stop paying more than you need to on your wireless bill and start saving BIG with Mint Mobile!

#4 – How a Man Becomes Cold-Hearted (Part Four)

Here are the final ways a man becomes cold-hearted in their lives….

Internalized Messages

Men may internalize messages from past relationships, such as being told they are not good enough or that they are unworthy of love.

These negative beliefs can become deeply ingrained and shape their perceptions of themselves and their potential for future relationships, contributing to emotional withdrawal and guardedness.

I was very unfortunate to go to TWO high schools, where the girls in my class treated me like such dirt, and for no logical reason either.

I was always a confident young man, very outspoken, a people’s person as well, however, regrettably, these girls knocked me down constantly, and bullied me just for being proud of who I was!

They used to bully me with the following statements:

“I regret to see the woman who ends up marrying you one day.”

“You are ugly, sorry, and you will never be goodlooking.”

“You are just a loser, just accept it.”

For MANY, MANY years after high school, and well into my adult life, I carried those insecurities with me.

Which all became internalized messages, deeply ingrained in my subconscious.

I used to regularly say the following to myself:

“I am absolutely terrified of what my bride will look like when I get married…”

“I am not attractive, no matter what I do, or how hard I try to fix it…”

“I just feel everybody thinks I am a failure in life…”

Therefore, unsurprisingly as well, these beliefs that were so internalized and ingrained inside me made me so cold-hearted.

Why even bother getting married, if I am destined to be with a woman who I dislike and potentially dislikes me too?

What is the point of getting a haircut, buying nice clothes, and getting into shape, when I am just always going to remain unattractive?

What is the point of even trying to do something special, or work hard, or just make it in life when I am destined for failure?

Fortunately, I FINALLY snapped out of those awful messages I told myself, and proved myself and those nasty women from school WRONG.

But had I never done so, through healing, hard work, and self-reflection….

I would have remained very cold-hearted…

And robbed myself of ANY potential of happiness in the process.

Comparisons and Envy

Constant exposure to societal portrayals of seemingly perfect relationships or observing others’ seemingly fulfilling romantic lives can exacerbate feelings of inadequacy and envy in men who have faced repeated rejection.

This can lead to a sense of bitterness or resentment towards those who appear to have what they desire, further fuelling emotional detachment as a defence mechanism.

Whether you are watching couples on television and in movies…

Or swiping through your social media…

Or walking down the street…

Or attending an event like a wedding etc….

Your eyes are exposing you to the perfect relationships, and romantic life that just seems for some reason so out of reach for you.

I remember attending a Christmas party a few years ago, where I was so desperately single and alone, in fact I was the only person there without a romantic partner.

I drank too much alcohol and spouted such nonsense that I was coming across like a real sourpuss to everybody, and during Christmas as well.

I had been dumped six months earlier as well, and I was bitter to be alone at Christmas and going into the new year with absolutely no potential girlfriend or relationship on the horizon.

I was saying the following to those who unfortunately had to listen:

“There is no such thing as the one, it’s all a waste of time…”

“Most marriages are destined for divorce these days…”

“I could never be overly vulnerable with a woman, that’s even if I ever find anybody…”

“Relationships are failing nowadays; they are just not worth it…”

“Women have it so good, it’s the men who are dealt the bad hand…”

I can safely say that I made an absolute fool out of myself with those beliefs and statements, because six months later, I met the love of my life.

And do not believe anything I said or resonate with any of it either!

But it made sense why at the time I felt so upset, I was frustratingly single and I just wanted to be happy and in love.

However, the biggest problem was I was trapped in a negative cycle of comparisons and I practiced envy.

Envy where I wanted what others had, rather celebrating the love and success of their relationships, their love, their happiness etc.

I would hate to think what I would have been like had I remained single, and not met my partner, and how much more bitter I would have become…

And especially through all those comparisons, especially on social media as well, which would have made me remain a cold-hearted man…

#5 – Conclusion

In conclusion, there are many ways a man can become and sadly remain cold-hearted for the rest of his life.

But what I have noticed through my experience, is when you come out at the other side, life becomes so much sweeter.

Perhaps like myself you were positive, optimistic, and happy, with the desire to have love, relationships etc as part of your life and future.

Then for whatever reason, and 9 times out of 10 it’s due to the wrong partners and relationships, all those hope, happiness, and excitement for the future dithers away…

You are cold-hearted now…

You are bitter now…

You are resentful…

You are now Ebeneezer Scrooge!

But remember what happens to old Scrooge at the end of his story?

He changes, his cold-heartedness melts away, he becomes more grateful, more generous, kinder, and most importantly of all, he becomes happier.

I am really sorry for whatever cards life has dealt you so far, and trust me, I am not excusing them or dismissing it at all…

But you have a chance, to live your best life ever by becoming more self-aware, questioning those internalised messages, and taking more risks etc.

You will be incredibly surprised at the results for doing this, because you were never cold-hearted to begin with remember?

Sadly, certain circumstances and people made you feel that way.

But like myself and many other men, there is a chance of a new life, and a second wind in your sail by simply picking yourself up again, dusting yourself off and realising you are the captain of your fate…

The master of your destiny!

Turn the sail into a new direction of your life, away from misery, bitterness, resentfulness, regret, and certainly cold-heartedness.

If I can do this, so can anybody!

Categories
The SCG Podcast

Dating in the Digital Age! (For Men) 📱 ❤️ | The SCG Podcast #6

In this podcast I will be discussing dating in the digital age for men.

Dating has for some reason become more unnecessarily complicated despite more couples meeting and having relationships than ever before.

Whether you are just starting out with online dating, or you have been stuck for a long time, I will give you logical and practical tips that can work in your favour.

Categories
The Power of Walking Away

What Walking Away Does to The People You Left Behind

What Walking Away Does to The People You Left Behind

Have you ever wondered what walking away actually does to the people you have left behind?

Well strap yourself in, because as somebody who is a seasoned expert in this topic, I will reveal just exactly what to expect happens to them, especially if those people were toxic and disrespectful towards you.

First, let me start by congratulating you on making the bold, brave, and correct decision of walking away from the wrong people.

In most cases, the wrong people are perhaps romantic partners.

So rather than staying in misery, despair, frustration, anger, and resentment, you decided enough was enough and walked away.

That’s not easy, nor is it straightforward.

From an emotional standpoint, you are basically breaking your own heart, and theirs to a degree by walking away.

Then there is the entire ordeal of finding accommodation, because most likely you rented or even owned a home together.

You either book yourself into a crappy Hotel, or go back to your parents, or worse case go and sleep on your friend’s sofa-bed that very night you walk away.

Because walking away MEANS walking away, it doesn’t mean kicking them out per say, they will never leave!

You have to be the one.

You have to take the initiative.

You have got to leave THEM.

As you lay down wide awake in the night with your adrenaline pumping through your body after FINALLY walking away, it almost feels so surreal.

You are out now, it’s over, you have finally told them enough is enough.

You ponder to yourself all those arguments, all the disappointments, all the times you had been let down, hurt, frustrated, all the times you got nowhere with them too.

It’s a strange but extremely special experience.

To be AWAY from THAT PERSON, aka THAT PERSON who was WRONG for you.

And the biggest takeaway from this entire experience and the most powerful lesson you can adopt is the following:

You walked away because you will NEVER be good enough for that person.

That person was wrong for you, and you were wrong for them too, so you actually are doing them a favour with your action and decision.

For the sake of this content, I will focus primarily on romantic partners you have walked away from, but you can certainly apply elements and scenarios to most other people as well.

The Leading Voice on Walking Away!

Not to brag, but I have created 100s of videos on the very topic of Walking Away on YouTube.

I have heavily and intensely researched this sensitive subject, plus I have experienced it many times in my personal life.

I am the leading voice on walking away, and I believe I can really help and guide you through this process.

It all started when I did exactly what you did, I walked away from the wrong partner.

To summarize her best, she was entitled, rude, disrespectful, immature, and so toxic.

Every moment I spent dating her and trying to have a relationship with her as well felt like being shot in the stomach and heart.

I just knew and felt she was so wrong for me, we clashed on so many things, we argued almost daily, and we fought ugly too.

There was just no saving us, there was no fixing things, we were SO WRONG for one another, and trust me she was NEVER going to leave me.

So, I had to be the one to do so, I had to be the one to step up and make a change, I had to be the one to walk away.

Nobody helped me or guided me.

Truthfully, I had no idea what I was doing at the time!

However, all I know is that it was my destiny to walk away, to heal, to recover, because it gave me the immense wisdom, I now possess to pass on the message to you, and many other people.

To be honest, it was like learning how to drive a car without any lessons!

It was crazy, but I followed my gut instinct, I listened to nobody but myself, and I stayed strong, and stayed away, and moved on.

The thousands of people who have engaged and gained value from my content have all had such amazing progress by following my advice.

That is because they too needed to have the courage to make that difficult decision of walking away forever.

By the way, nobody else is going to congratulate you on this.

Instead, they will make you doubt your decision.

They will make you feel like you are making a huge mistake.

Drown out that noise, silence them, be cautious of who you tell, and how often you discuss your walking away decision with other people – that’s because most other people never walk away, they stay and endure terrible and toxic people for the rest of their lives.

But more importantly, you really want to know exactly what your decision of walking away does to those you leave behind, but before I reveal that and more, I need to tell you something extremely important.

You Should NOT Care!

Whether the person you have walked away from has shaved their head, got your face tattooed on their butt, or written countless love songs and poems about you, here is the most important thing to remember:

YOU SHOULD NOT CARE!

People sadly often get this very confused when it comes to the act and decision of walking away, and let me give you a prime example.

When I was in that toxic relationship in the past, truthfully, I walked away TWO TIMES!

We dated for around four years, and I walked away the first time just after our one-year anniversary together.

Because she had tipped me over the edge.

I had enough finally.

And I wanted out.

But that first time I broke up with her and walked away was handled abysmally by me, for one fundamental reason above anything else:

I walked away with the motivation and desire to get her to change how she treated me.

I genuinely believed by breaking up with her and walking out of the relationship, that something would shift in her mentally and emotionally.

That suddenly she would become more mature – but she didn’t.

That suddenly she would behave in a less toxic manner – she didn’t.

That suddenly she would be more understanding and have empathy – she didn’t.

She gaslighted me after a few months promising me the world and more, and insisting to me that she had finally “changed!”

So, I took her back, stupidly, which was easily one of the worst decisions of my entire life.

And we went on to waste several MORE years together, in round two of the worse relationship you could imagine.

The point I am trying to make here is I walked away to try get her to be more respectful and treat me better.

But that never happened.

And was never going to happen either.

Because you will NEVER be good enough for the wrong person, EVER!

Please do not use this content as inspiration to get those you walk away from to finally “see the light” and have personal transformation.

Instead walk away so you can stay away and move on.

And use the information I am going to provide here for your own personal curiosity, aka what happens to them after you have left….

The SCG SHOW is officially sponsored by Betterhelp!

I have personally used BetterHelp and I found it to be very effective for turning my life around for the better!

Betterhelp is therapy online which offers weekly sessions via phone, video, and live chat.

Betterhelp matches you with a therapist according to where you are, what you are looking for, and what you are needing help with!

If it isn’t a great fit, Betterhelp makes switching therapists easy!

Therapy is a great way to take care of ourselves mentally, just like we try to do physically through healthy dieting and exercise.

Online therapy can teach you valuable life coping skills, and can support you amazingly when those tough times occur too!

For 10% off your first month of online therapy via Betterhelp today, Click here!

DISCOVER INNER STRENGTH and START HEALING TODAY with Betterhelp!

(By using this link you will be supporting The SCG SHOW community.)

#1 – The Dread

Even the most narcissistic, self-involved, entitled, and arrogant person will feel an overwhelming sense of dread after you walk away from them.

Basically, the fear of loss.

When toxic people are angry and say things out of emotions, in the heat of the moment, there is rarely ever any real weight behind it.

Its like hot air, coming in your direction, and if you are not careful it can and might burn your face off!

If they are saying with aggression horrible statements like the following:

“Go ahead and leave, see if I care!”

“I don’t care if we break up!”

“I never loved you to begin with!”

“Leave, and I will move on ASAP!”

Believe it or not, most of the time they are bluffing, and as I always encourage in these situations and especially with these people = CALL THEIR BLUFF!

Let’s picture the scene, after you’ve walked away, and perhaps a few days, weeks, or months have gone by, what are they thinking, feeling and what is happening to them?!

The Overwhelming Dread:

Have you ever had something come up in your life that you have awful anxiety about?

Such as a company presentation to conduct completely on your own in front of your directors.

Or perhaps you must make a speech at a wedding or special event, and public speaking is certainly NOT for you.

Or maybe you are awaiting news of a test or exam result, and you drive yourself crazy with your overthinking and state of panic.

That is dread, that is anxiety.

And THAT is what THEY are thinking and what is happening to them.

Maybe they are in bed completely alone, and they turn to their side and see an empty pillow and space entirely…

Maybe they reach for their phone and realise no matter how many times they call and text you, that you are just not going to answer…

Maybe they are out and about and hear a song that you loved, see a movie that reminds them of you, or bump into a mutual friend…

Trust me, it hits them like a tonne of bricks!

An overwhelming sense of dread and fear.

Where they are saying to themselves internally for nobody to hear: “Dear God what have I done…they really are gone…”

Immense Sense of Loss

A woman I know personally walked away from her relationship of seven years as her partner was just a complete waste of time.

He was childish, immature, and impulsive.

He was a liar, and he cheated on her.

He was lazy, entitled, and rude.

She put up with it for so long, and was so patient until enough was enough, and she finally had the courage and strength to walk away.

After doing so, her now toxic-ex was going through the motions, and said the following to her in separate messages before she blocked him entirely:

“Who is going to look after me now and cook for me?”

“What if I never find another girlfriend like you ever again?”

“What if I am going to be alone for the rest of my life?”

“Who is going to look after all the bills, the shopping too?”

This particular toxic man was clearly NOT independent, and actually relied on his girlfriend for more than you’d imagine.

And unsurprisingly after she finally walked away, HE FELT LOST!

So lost that he moved back in with his parents, and has stayed there since, whilst she has moved on, and settled down with a REAL man, and couldn’t be happier.

What They Have Lost

I am not exaggerating when I say and insist this, but truthfully you really were the best they ever had, and will ever have too.

You put up with them, and had the self-awareness to notice and realise that you deserved so much better.

You begged and pleaded and communicated also that you were not accepting of their treatment towards you.

But it all fell on deaf ears, they took advantage, pushed you further and further to breaking point until you snapped.

They NEVER imagined you would EVER leave them.

How wrong were they.

In this period of loss and dread, they find themselves spiralling by over or undereating, smoking, taking drugs, partying to all hours.

To try numb the pain, which they inflicted on themselves.

The pain of losing the best partner they could have asked for, and the dread that actually it was all their own fault all along.

Next, I will go into far greater detail about the spiralling stage that follows the feeling of loss and dread after you walk away:

I’d love to tell you about my sponsor Keen!

Keen provides access to vetted psychics and spiritual advisors who provide guidance and insight on life’s challenges, clarity in love, relationships, career, and more.

Keen is also one of the most affordable ways to get an instant psychic reading by an accredited advisor at any time, 24/7!

Yes, Keen advisors are available 24/7!

There’s always someone online. You can also easily schedule a call with an advisor!

As a new Keen customer and using my link only, you can try your first 10 minutes for only $1.99!

Pricing then depends on which advisor you choose, and the services are backed with a satisfaction guarantee.

Keen is the most affordable way to connect with a psychic advisor!

When you find the right advisor, developing an ongoing relationship leads to several benefits:

·        Astrology and Tarot Readings

·        Chakra Clearing

·        And SO much more!

Check out Keen today right here!

#2 – Spiralling

The people you leave behind after you walk away, cut contact, remain no contact and move on romantically WILL most likely completely and utterly spiral.

But the reason they do so, may surprise you!

What Actually is Emotionally Spiralling?

Emotional spiralling is like going on a roller coaster ride with your feelings.

It’s when you start feeling really upset about something, and then it seems like everything else starts going wrong too.

It’s the perception that the entire world is somewhat against you.

Your emotions can feel out of control, swinging from sad to angry to anxious all at once.

That is EXACTLY what happens to the people you leave behind, and if you thought they were out of control when they dated you, think again.

The Crocodile Tears

When I first walked away (and failed to stay away) in my former toxic relationship, I honestly could have made a movie about how my ex-partner conducted themselves.

Truthfully, I was so naïve at the time, and couldn’t see it coming because I genuinely believed that she was as miserable as I was when we argued and wanted to break up.

But it started a few weeks after, and the fundamental mistake I made was never going no contact with them.

I remember answering my phone without looking at who was calling me, to her sobbing like a baby on the other line:

“PLEASE TAKE ME BACK! PLEASE I AM BEGGING YOU! I CANNOT STOP CRYING!”

Then a week or so later, I was at a football match and answered my phone again:

“PLEASE TAKE ME BACK! PLEASE I AM BEGGING YOU! I CANNOT STOP CRYING! I WILL DO ANYTHING YOU ASK!”

I tried remaining strong and so stoic, but the cracks were beginning to show.

Then amazingly, one winters evening I was sat in the front room of my parent’s house as we were all watching television together, and then I heard loud sobbing coming from outside.

My heart sank…

Could it be?

No way…

It was my ex, standing outside in the cold crying, to which my parents let her in, made her a cup of tea to warm up and insisted that we both “sort things out properly.”

I took her back after that moment, and as you already know I wasted more years of my life with the wrong person.

But the frightening thing about this entire situation was this – it was all an act by her!

Master Manipulators

Toxic people are MASTER manipulators, and if you are not careful, they can persuade you into just about doing anything they want!

All those phone calls and emails and texts she sent, not to mention the gifts were all an act.

An act to get me to feel guilty.

To make me change my mind.

To make me go back again.

Stupidly by me it worked, she got me back, for round two of the worst romantic relationship you could begin to imagine.

Walking away set something off in her brain, something that never would have happened had I stayed and endured more of HER behaviour.

It cut off the attention I gave her.

It cut off my physical presence I gave her.

It cut off just having somebody in her life.

And without that, she spiralled, because she fed off my attention, aka my supply, the fact I would react to her behaviour, or call her out on things, or just you know be her partner.

It’s quite jarring and frightening when you finally realise this.

They don’t miss you; they miss the idea of you, they miss their perception of you.

You might have dated them for 20 years, but they have absolutely no idea who you really are, what makes you tick, what turns you on or off, what makes you happy etc.

Let me use an extreme and relevant example:

Have you ever met somebody who is addicted to something and then watched them go cold turkey overnight?

Let’s say they decide to give up cigarettes after smoking packets daily for years.

They will certainly spiral.

With major withdrawals.

And if they are not careful, they might find themselves slowly and eventually becoming addicted to something else entirely, like alcohol, gambling etc.

But that spiralling stage even in an addict, and I can comment on this because I was a former addict as well, is because of withdrawal.

Not getting what you think you want.

And the people you have left behind THINK they want you and need you.

Just so they can ultimately annoy, hurt, and frustrate you all over again once more.

Next, I will touch on the rage and anger they will experience and demonstrate after you have walked away from them:

Do you know who needs to invest in digital security?

Anyone with something worth protecting.

And if you’re reading this post, I’m guessing that is you.

Because, like most Americans, you’ve spent a good part of your life building a life worth protecting.

That’s why I am excited to partner with Aura, who is sponsoring The SCG SHOW.

Aura is a digital security solution that protects your online accounts, connection, and devices with one simple subscription.

For as low as $10 a month, you’ll get alerted to fraud and threats FAST— like if your online accounts or passwords were leaked online, or if someone tries to open a bank account in your name or social security number.

Aura will also protect your devices from malware and encrypt your WiFi connection so you can shop, bank and stream online securely.

With an easy online dashboard and alerts sent straight to your phone, Aura keeps you in control and guides you through solving any issues

All plans come with $1 million in identity theft insurance to help recover eligible losses, and experienced, US-based customer support that’s got your back.

For hard-working Americans, who have worked their whole lives to build a life worth protecting, I recommend Aura.

So, if you want a secure your online presence from hackers, scammers and noisy advertising companies go to Aura and when you use my link, you’ll get up to 40% off all plans!

#3 – Rage Unleashed!

Imagine you are walking around in a supermarket and you see a parent fighting with their child who is undoubtably a spoilt brat.

The nasty and disobedient child knows they can get their way, especially in public, by creating an almighty scene.

Say in this instance the child wants some candy, and the parent has rightly refused to buy candy in the store.

You know what comes next…

The child screams, shouts at the top of their lungs, humiliating the parent who just simply wanted to go grocery shopping.

The tantrum is so bad that everybody stops and stares at the incident, to the point where (depending on the parent), they either cave in, or they drag the child outside until they calm down.

Why am I mentioning this you might be asking?

Adults can have tantrums no dissimilar to a child who cannot get their own way.

They can scream and shout.

They can cause an almighty scene.

They can embarrass and humiliate.

All because of one sole purpose, and that is to get what they want, and in this instance aka after you have walked away, you have unleashed (I am sorry to tell you) a very ugly beast in them.

Let me share a personal example:

The toxic woman I dated in the past who I HAD to walk away from, had glaring red flags right at the beginning of the relationship.

I was raised by my parents to be kind, polite, respectful, and patient.

She however was raised to be impolite, rude, spoilt, and extremely entitled.

Time after time whenever we were together, she would subtly hint: “I always get what I want.”

It baffled me that a woman in her 30s would talk so boldly and arrogantly, but she was being brutally honest:

“I always get whatever I want, my parents are soft, and I have them wrapped round my little finger.”

I was so dumb and naïve that I never saw what was coming in my future dating her.

Long story short, she was setting me up for more pain and suffering in the many, many instances she never got her way.

I saw adult tantrums that will haunt me for the rest of my life.

The worst being her storming out of a lavish restaurant on vacation for no apparent reason before we even ordered our food!

The Rage After You Leave Them!

So hopefully by now you have a rough idea as to how these toxic and difficult people are no different to a spoilt child not getting candy from their parent.

Therefore, by you walking away, and as they go through their own weird and twisted, you should know that they will be angrier than you would ever begin to imagine.

It’s a strange anger, an entitled, arrogant and narcissistic rage!

Narcissistic rage in its simplest terms is the following = They might get really angry if someone disagrees with them or doesn’t give them the attention they think they deserve.

It’s like they explode with anger because they feel hurt that people aren’t treating them like they’re special.

Think back to what my toxic ex was saying about herself and how she treated people and especially her parents:

“I always get whatever I want…”

Aka I am so special and deserve to be treated almost like royalty.

“My parents are soft and I have them wrapped round my little finger.”

Aka I am manipulative and know just what to say and do to get whatever I want from people.

Yikes!

Walking Away is the Ultimate Rejection!

But in this particular context shutting off the supply, aka your attention, you as a person physically, mentally, emotionally etc, is the ultimate rejection.

Actually, it’s almost like the ultimate punishment for the most disobedient and obnoxious adult ever.

After all, family must put up (most of the times) with their toxic children etc.

But I don’t have to, and certainly you don’t have to either.

Therefore, unlike the people they manipulate around them, aka those who they have “wrapped around their little finger,” walking away basically tells them where to go.

That you will not tolerate ANY of their nonsense…That you will not even give them a slither of attention anymore.

And in their rage, they humiliate themselves, their family, and most likely whatever stupid friends they socialise with as well.

They may TRY to get in touch with you, and unleash their anger etc.

But if you have gone and remained no contact and instilled your healthy boundaries, most likely all you will get is a drunk text off a random number or maybe an email that will go to your spam.

They are rageful because they are adult spoilt brats, and frankly it’s pathetic.

Finally, I will be discussing and revealing the switch that goes off inside them after you walk away.

Here’s something you can do right now to save money: switch to Mint Mobile, who I’m partnering with on THE SCG SHOW brand.

You might already know Mint Mobile if you’ve seen those funny ads from Ryan Reynolds, who is also an owner, but let me quickly tell you how awesome their service is!

Mint Mobile offers premium wireless for as low as $15/month and you don’t have to sacrifice any coverage, speed or data.

They’re built on the nation’s largest 5G network. They keep costs low because they sell direct to you online – they cut out the retail stores and salespeople.

Switching to Mint is super easy. Thanks to their digital eSIM cards, you can sign-up and activate immediately right on your phone from the comfort of your home.

No more standing around waiting in line at a “Big Wireless” store.

You can keep your current device and phone number and easily switch services.

And if your phone isn’t eSIM compatible, Mint will ship you a new SIM card free of charge.

Unlimited nationwide talk and text, plus lightning fast 5G and free mobile hotspot.

Mint will show you how much data you use each month and recommend plans that save you money.

Mint also offers a Modern Family Plan that lets you set up a super affordable family plan with as little as two lines!

Get premium wireless starting at $15 a month HERE!

Stop paying more than you need to on your wireless bill and start saving BIG with Mint Mobile!

#4 – The Switch

I am going to reveal to you a powerful and very unknown secret that most likely you have never heard before in your life regarding this very topic:

Nobody can switch their emotions off and change as quickly as a toxic person.

The funny thing is here you have actually heard this story through people you know, celebrities etc, but maybe you have never noticed it before.

For example, let’s say you hear the news of a couple you assumed on the outside looked like the perfect match have split up suddenly, and one of them has moved on extremely quickly.

Despite them let’s say originally being together for almost ten years.

That is the switch.

After they’ve had the dread, the spiralling and the rage, they switch off their emotions and become the entitled and obnoxious people they are deep down below the surface.

Don’t believe me?

Well, let me tell you this now, I have seen it with my own eyes, not just with ex-partners but even with friends and family.

Their mood suddenly changes, and their guilt has subsided, or at least their own twisted version of guilt.

They don’t care anymore and like a lion ready to hunt it’s next prey they are out there ready to target their next victim.

You never existed anymore.

You are the enemy now.

You are completely dead to them.

The Strangest Bitterest Pill

We can be very interesting sometimes as people, because maybe in someway we enjoyed them suffering without us, spiralling etc.

Maybe it reinforced our decision to walk away in the first place even more!

However when the attempts and the spiralling etc stops, these people have switched you off in their minds, emotions and more.

It can be a bitter pill, because we might almost get somewhat addicted to their suffering, aka it makes us feel good about ourselves as its kind of like revenge too.

However, you must remember…

THAT IS NOT WHY YOU HAVE WALKED AWAY!

You walked away to switch them off from your heart, mind and soul.

They’ve just most likely finally caught up!

Back to Their Old Ways!

After you have walked away from them and after they have switched you off entirely, they are going to very quickly slip back into their old ways.

And by old ways I am referring to what they were like when they first met you.

They may invest a tonne of money in clothes, makeup, a new car etc to revamp that superficial image they like to hold.

They are straight back into online dating, especially dating apps, hunting like a shark for their next prey to take down.

By this stage you are now an afterthought, a distant memory, and the shocking thing about this is actually this can happen literally overnight!

How They Switch You Off!

The toxic person you have walked away from will go to bed one evening, maybe still annoyed and frustrated that you have shut them out completely.

“I HATE THEM! I HATE WHAT THEY ARE DOING TO ME! I WANT MY OWN WAY!” they fester and brood as they eventually and finally fall asleep.

And then they wake up and say “FORGET THEM! THEY ARE DEAD TO ME! HOW DARE THEY DO THIS TO ME! I AM MOVING ON! I AM AMAZING! I AM SPECIAL! I WILL DO BETTER THAN THEM!”

That is literally it!

There is the switch!

That’s how they move on, and before you know it, there they are flirting and talking to a brand-new potential victim on a dating app, or out at a bar, who is known the wiser to what these people are truly capable of.

The War is Over!

Dating a toxic person is like a constant battle, where you go back and forth with one another always trying to get along and ultimately find some middle ground.

But when that switch occurs in them, and trust me it eventually will…

The battles and fights are officially put to rest.

The war is over!

The war between you and that toxic and difficult person is over forever.

I have sadly seen many people buckle because they have gotten strangely addicted and reliant on their toxic ex harping on about them and feeling upset that the relationship is over.

You MUST stay strong!

You MUST remain strong!

You walked away for a reason!

Never to manipulate the other person and revel in their misery, but instead to move on and hopefully live your best life in the process…

#5 – In Conclusion

In conclusion, walking away does quite a lot to the people you leave behind, and frankly they deserve it too.

Because ultimately if they were kind, considerate, loyal, respectful, willing to compromise etc, you would not be walking away from them.

But regardless of how they conduct themselves, what they are thinking, how they are behaving etc….

Walk away please to move on.

Walk away please to heal.

Walk away please to recover.

Do not ever think you are doing this as part of some divine and glorious purpose where that toxic person finally see’s the light and makes a change for the better.

IF they do, good luck to them, it is NONE of your business any longer.

Move on, and walk away to go and live your best life ever, ideally with good and genuine people who want the best for you instead.

Walk away from your past forever, and let it go.

Categories
The SCG Podcast

Surviving a TOXIC Work Environment! ☣️ | The SCG Podcast #5

In this podcast I discuss surviving a toxic work environment!

We spend more time in the office, in our jobs, and our co-workers than we do with our partners, family, and friends.

Therefore who you are spending all that time with workwise, and what your job entails, can have an enormous impact on your overall mental and physical wellbeing.

Also I will be sharing a personal story of a narcissistic boss I once worked with who put me through HELL!

Categories
The SCG Podcast

Why Young Men are VERY CONFUSED these days! 😕 | The SCG Podcast #4

In this podcast I discuss why most young men are so confused nowadays!

I discuss how social media has warped their mind and self-esteem.

How they are unsure what to do, how to act with dating and relationships.

And I will touch on The Red Pill, Toxic Masculinity and plenty more!