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Self Improvement

Intelligent People Prefer to be Alone

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“I was thinking, too, of Superman and his fortress of solitude.”

As I am a huge fan of comics and graphic novels, I wanted to give the official definition of Superman’s fortress of solitude from Wikipedia:

“The Fortress of Solitude is a fictional fortress appearing in American comic books published by DC Comics, commonly in association with Superman. A place of solace and occasional headquarters for Superman, the fortress is typically depicted as being in frozen tundra, away from civilization.

Its predecessor, Superman’s “Secret Citadel”, first appeared in Superman #17, where it was said to be built into a mountain on the outskirts of Metropolis. By issue #58 (May–June 1949) it is referred to as the Fortress of Solitude, seems at a glance to be a freestanding castle, and is said to be located in a “polar waste”.

When the Fortress reappears in 1958 and for the first time takes center stage in a story (“The Super-Key to Fort Superman”, Action Comics #241), it is again an underground complex in a mountainous cliffside.

Traditionally, the Fortress of Solitude is located in the Arctic, though more recent versions of the Superman comics have placed the Fortress in other locations, including the Antarctic, the Andes, and the Amazon rainforest.

The general public in Superman’s world is either unaware or at best only vaguely aware of the existence of the Fortress, and its location is kept secret from all but Superman’s closest friends and allies (such as Lois Lane and Batman).

A trademark of the Fortress is that it contains a memorial statue of Jor-El and Lara, Superman’s Kryptonian parents, holding a large globe of Krypton. Although Superman has living quarters at the Fortress, his main residence is still Clark Kent’s apartment in Metropolis. The arctic Fortress of Solitude concept was first created for pulp hero Doc Savage during the 1930s.”

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Now this may not mean much to you but there is an interesting underlying concept to this.

Whilst we think of superheroes for their capes and superpowers, we never really die deeper into the mental strains on their responsibility.

Most notably Superman, despite being invincible, holds the entire weight of the world on his shoulders.

Therefore, if something goes wrong, he must go there and sort it out.

Also, he is mostly the only Kryptonian on earth, meaning he is completely alone in his endeavours (ignoring the Justice League), and therefore must figure everything out for himself.

So, the fortress of solitude is a great place for the man of steel to recharge, reconnect with his people, and ultimately come to terms with all he is experiencing.

Whilst he is an alien, at the end of the day he is and has human emotions.

So, whether he had to catch a plane that was crashing or fight off a swarm of monsters or what have you, there is no doubt some trauma or even PTSD to deal with.

My point in this opening is simple, if Superman the most powerful being on earth has a fortress of solitude, then maybe we all should?

Whilst maybe using fiction as an example may not be the best of starts to this discussion of intelligent people preferring to be alone, it is hard not to see logic the argument.

Let’s think of some of the greatest people in history, Sinatra, Elvis, Elon Musk, Ali, Mother Teresa, Gandhi.

These people despite being associated with others all have one thing in common, they are all single individuals – and heroes to most people.

Now I am not at liberty to discuss their personal lives, but they all have one thing in common.

They worked mainly alone.

They strived for their work or dreams alone.

They were individuals who were not part of a team or an organization.

Why did these great people and mainly intelligent people throughout humanity all prefer to be alone?

Well let me put a law of attraction spin on this as it is mainly connected to that and more.

I’ll give you also a personal example.

Many years ago, I came up with an idea for a novel, and I discussed it with personal friends and family to which they all hated it and lambasted me for not being “smart,” enough to write a book.

Fast forward a few years later, and I was getting signs from the universe to write this book, it was appearing everywhere.

The truth was, I didn’t tell a single soul about it.

I got on with it, and a year later it was published:

My point being, I had nobody to tell me not to.

9 out of 10 people are most likely to give up on a project or an important change because somebody has told them not to do so.

OR they see others acting lazy and unproductive and through sheer burn out and exhaustion decide to put things off until they can be bothered to work again.

Whereas an intelligent person, quiets the noise.

They work in their OWN fortress of solitude and get to it.

I’m not telling you to go to the arctic and build an ice chamber, but I am suggesting that it is indeed possible to get more done by blocking out the naysayers.

A good rule of thumb is to not tell people what you are doing.

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Unfortunately, many people are addicted to their phones, and constantly want to share announcements about almost every single aspect of their lives, their goals.

What happens is, they put themselves under an immense amount of pressure by doing so, because friends and family (particularly jealous ones), will harp on to them about how they are getting on with their goals.

Being in solitude for intelligent people allows more peace.

Sadly, there is a sharp rise in narcissistic and toxic people all over the globe.

Therefore, what we must understand is that tranquillity is important for healing.

I know many intelligent people who have been burdened with toxic and poor relationships as a result of being too empathetic.

As a result, these people often have toxic flu, which is a result of being around the wrong type of people for too long.

They almost don’t recognize or remember who they were and become completely disorientated.

Therefore, isolation and solitude allow them to rediscover their worth, and in particularly their personality what made them great in the first place.

If you noticed, they may be successful and rich, but intelligent people value peace over everything.

For you see when you are at peace, you can focus, and you can solve life’s many problems far more effectively.

Speaking of which, intelligent people are also great problem solvers.

My father is a very smart man, and just last year we were dealing with a crisis involving a business we are partners in.

It was awful, and to this day we both have stress just remembering what we experienced.

When he got home, he asked to be excused, and sat in silence for 3 hours, just thinking with a notepad.

I knew not to disturb him, and surely enough a few hours later, he came up with a genius idea to solve our very difficult problem.

It took a few weeks, but fortunately we solved it.

He admitted to me he had to find space to process everything and have no distractions.

By quieting the noise, you can achieve anything.

You can solve problems because you are not being directly influenced by the world and so on.

A woman once lifted a car 5x her weight to rescue her child who was stuck underneath it.

It was physically impossible.

How you ask?

Because nobody told her otherwise.

Intelligent people can find peace, can focus, solve problems, and live better lives by being more alone than with everybody.

And with a large pandemic of narcissists and toxic people spreading all over the world can you really blame them?

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Dating Self Improvement

The Power of Walking Away

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The greatest superpower you will ever possess is the ability to walk away.

Watch the video above now!

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Dating Self Improvement

Nice Guys Finish Last

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“Nice guys finish last.”

In the age of social media and widespread entitlement, does it pay to be a nice person?

Or how about paying to be a nice guy in general?

Absolutely not.

I knew a guy who was an over the top nice guy, in particular towards women.

We often compared him to Alan Harper from Two and a Half Men, the loser brother of Charlie Harper (played by Charlie Sheen).

The genius of the sitcom was the stark contrast in how the two lived their lives.

Alan Harper always tried to do the “right thing,” so to speak.

Whereas Charlie was selfish, egotistical, yet rich, successful and irresistible to women.

But to what type of women?

And is that not a form of narcissism?

Well the argument extends beyond Charlie into Alan.

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Alan’s character comes off as rather nice, sweet, and a little bit pathetic.

Whereas the laid back and suave Charlie is the complete opposite.

But what people do not realize is Alan is a traditional “nice guy,” in today’s terms, however with alternative motives.

The modern day nice guy goes above and beyond for the approval of a woman they find attractive.

They would do chores, lend them money, and be that shoulder to cry on for the inevitable down period of when she feels “upset.”

However, that is usually when the nice guy shows his true colours which he has masked for quite a considerable period and immediately swoops in to “make a move.”

This is counterintuitive because the woman in question is stunned, “what the hell are you doing?” is how they usually respond.

To which the nice guy in a motion similar to word vomit spits out some undesirable truths, “I have loved you the moment I saw you, that is why I did everything you ask, kiss me please!”

What follows usually?

  • Rejection.
  • Humiliation.

And suddenly Mr Nice guy goes back to his friends with tears in his eyes and tells them how she turned him down, and it didn’t work out.

But what was there to work out in the first place?

He had been devalued and been nothing short of a slave for this user and woman who was none the wiser to what was really going on.

When a woman relegates a man to the friend zone, there is no way out of it.

Most GOOD men do not waste their time with such a woman, and they go out into the world looking for a partner that values them in the same way.

The Nice guy who is a covert narcissist to some degree cannot handle the rejection, and his ego encourages to “convince her slowly but surely.”

Once upon a time I was in an Uber pool with a blind drunk woman who was trying to convince me to give me her number.

I was not interested and when I saw her hand I noticed her wearing a wedding ring.

“Are you married?!” I shouted.

“Engaged actually, to a REALLY NICE GUY….”

I couldn’t believe it, and I said to her “please for the love of god tell me you haven’t cheated….”

And in her drunk state she laughed and admitted to cheating on her fiancée regularly without him even knowing.

Disgusted by what I heard I asked her “so why are you with him, just break it off?”

No!” she replied “he is paying for the wedding, and we have a lot of mutual friends, so no I won’t.”

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The nice guy allows bad behaviour, encourages abuse, and tolerates being walked all over.

There is nothing good about the nice guy.

Good and nice are very different things.

Those who are good people do the right things.

Those who are usually nice have hidden agendas.

The nice guy wants the woman to fall for him, he would even befriend a woman who has a boyfriend in the hope they break up.

The nice guy manipulates people to feel sorry for him, and play the victim, a classic narcissistic trait.

The slyness and meek persona is entirely false, he has the agenda to screw people over.

However, what holds the nice guy back is he is a coward.

He is walked over by his friends, his boss, his parents, and most likely the woman he is pursuing.

It never ends, because the nice guy essentially is allowing the woman in his life to hold all the power.

Much to the bemusement of modern day feminists, most healthy and normal women seek a man who a natural is born leader.

They want him to be vulnerable in his emotions, but ultimately be the decision maker.

I have yet to personally meet a woman who disagrees.

And if I ever did, it would be one who was in a seriously unhappy relationship.

And by giving the woman who is treating the nice guy like a pushover everything they want, it reaches a stage of trying to please the unpleasable.

If the nice guy was upfront with his intentions, and feelings rather than playing a very dirty and foolish game, perhaps his life would be far better than it actually is.

Believe it or not divorce looms more so for the nice guy, than perhaps a man who is abusive.

Not that I am condoning any violence or manipulation of any sort, but what usually happens is when respect is never there in a relationship or attraction, the romance dies.

It is usually why the nice guy plays his hand too early in the fear that the woman he is not pursuing but instead begging to be with may pack up and leave him for someone else.

It is why they then, propose, have kids, buy a house only for them to divorce within the first few years of marriage.

Even in his career the nice guy is regularly finding himself at loggerheads with his boss, because he is too damn agreeable.

By being this way, he finds himself in a nasty predicament where he is “damned if I do, damned if I don’t.”

He cannot stand up to his boss due to his fear of being fired, and yet he doesn’t like taking any abuse but still continues to do so.

The nice guy runs on a basis of fear due to lack of self-improvement, narcissism and lack of confidence.

He has convinced himself that he is of a certain ilk, and must stick to this image and attempt to stab a few people in the back to try get what he wants.

However when the nice guy does get what he wants, he usually messes it up.

So what is the solution?

Why do nice guys finish last?

Nice guys finish last because they do not tell the truth nor take responsibility.

Instead they waste their entire lives trying to convince and manipulate others and situations into their favour.

But at the same time without having any self-reflection, they are completely dumbfounded how they have ended up paying alimony or child support for the kids they no longer see.

The solution is simple;

A woman, boss, your goals, whatever external to you does NOT respect a nice man.

They respect a good man.

I am not encouraging men to be arseholes.

I am encouraging them to do the right thing.

Tell the truth.

Ask the girl out, if you get rejected move on.

Ask for a promotion, if you don’t get it move to a different job.

Take responsibility and do not be afraid to take that risk.

Get in the gym, invest in your wardrobe.

But do good things, donate to charity, help people that deserve help.

Identify red flags of narcissists, and do not allow or tolerate any bad behaviour in the help that you will develop standards.

And by raising your standards you raise the quality of your life.

Remember those who do what is easy like the nice guys end up having hard lives.

However those who do what is hard end up having easy lives.

Nice guys finish last and are their own worst enemies.

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Self Improvement

How to Stop Worrying and Start Living by Dale Carnegie

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“Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow, it empties today of its strength.”

One of the greatest books I had ever read on the subject of worry was How to Stop Worrying and Start Living by Dale Carnegie.

In this blog post and video I will dissect the main core elements when it comes to truly thriving rather than surviving, and also combating worry before it does it to you!

Here are some fundamental facts about worry:

If you truly want to avoid worry in your life, “Live in day-tight compartments.”

What that means is live day by day, and you realize that what is truly in your control is in the present, and in the now.

Don’t stew about the futures, just live each day until bedtime.

Every day is a new life to a wise man.

When trouble or a problem faces you in full force ask yourself the following question;

What is the worst that can happen if I cannot solve my problem?

When one of my main businesses went bust, I had a very stressful period indeed.

Then I asked myself, “What is the worst that can happen if it goes?”

Well I could start a new business, transition into something else, try saving it.

By approaching it like this, I mentally accepted my fate.

Despite my disappointment, a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders.

What I then did as advised in the books I calmly tried to improve upon the worst.

So I came up with new ideas and a few years later, after a lot of work SCG SHOW was born!

I have friends and family who are nothing but chronic stressaholics.

They love to moan, whine and they like stressing themselves out over everything.

It was after I read in the book that there is an exorbitant price you can pay for worry in terms of your health.

“Those who do not know how to fight worry die young.”

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Basic techniques in analysing worry:

Always remember to get the facts!

Sadly there is a load of misinterpreted and misinformed individuals out there spouting things that are just NOT true!

Half the worry in the world is caused by people trying to make decisions before they have any sufficient knowledge on which to base a decision!

After you have very carefully taken on the facts, you must come to a decision.

And once you have that decision – act on it!

Indecisive people live the most indecisive lives.

As a man who always knows what he wants and goes after it, flaky and indecisive people drive me absolutely bonkers!

Get to work on carrying out your decision ASAP, and dismiss all the anxiety over the potential outcome of your action.

Here are some questions that will help you when you are presented with a problem that you are worried about;

  • What is the problem?
  • What is the cause of the problem?
  • What are all the possible solutions?
  • What is the best solution?

I would strongly advise you remember these four questions, and put them into practice the next time you are worried over a situation.

How to break the worry habit before it breaks you:

As a former addict, I know personally how habits can make or break you.

People can become addicted to worrying, and it can consume their very soul.

I remember being in the cinema concerned over things I had no control over when watching a movie – not pretty.

A good idea is keeping busy!

Yes despite hearing this old piece of advice especially when you are going through a break up, plenty of action is one of the best therapies ever devised for this.

However, it will NOT heal your issues.

I advise doing the healing as well as keeping active.

Don’t fuss over trifles – a very wise statement.

What that means is do not sweat the small stuff – seriously.

These small, minute, insignificant things are just the mere termites of life – why let it ruin your happiness?

A good question to ask yourself is “what are the odds of this thing happening at all?”

A wonderful statistic that works in your favour that over 80% of what we worry about in our heads never actually happen!

However, in the case that what we are worried about actually happens, it is important to co-operate with the inevitable.

By doing so, and accepting it as the way it is, can be a very healing and therapeutic approach to life.

Another great way to break the habit of worry is to put a stop loss order on problems.

What that means is to decide just how much time and energy something deserves – and refuse to give it anymore.

This is a fantastic way to cope with situations.

Vent, get it out of your system, cry about it – BUT THEN LET IT GO.

It is important to let our emotions out at times, we are human at the end of the day.

Here are seven ways to have a positive mental attitude that will bring you peace of mind:

  • Fill your mind with thoughts of peace over thoughts of worry – what you think about is what you attract!
  • Do not try to get even with enemies – the best revenge is massive success.
  • Do not worry about ingratitude instead expect it – when Jesus healed ten lepers only one of them thanked him!
  • Count your blessings over your troubles – by doing this you will see how lucky you actually are.
  • Try not to imitate others – this will encourage envy which is toxic, so instead compare yourself to who you were yesterday.
  • When fate hands us a lemon make a lemonade – when I lost my business, I never would have dreamed to be doing SCG Show!
  • Be good to others, and try to create a little happiness for those around us that deserve it.

Praying can help with worry:

Even if you are an atheist, praying to the divine, the universe whoever or whatever can certainly alleviate some stress or concerns in your life.

Trust that life and the universe always wants what is best for you – because it is true.

How to keep worrying about criticism:

We live in an era of trolls, and unjust criticism.

But remember unjust criticism is often a disguised compliment.

When I got criticised by a former narcissistic friend over my appearance, it was because he was jealous of how I carried myself compared to him.

Remember that NOBODY kicks a dead dog.

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You are human, you will make mistakes you are far from perfect.

But that is ok, because who is?

Whoever claims they are is narcissistic and insecure.

Be humble, know your limits, but realize with hard work and dedication you can achieve anything.

Finally here are six ways to prevent fatigue and worry to keep your energy high:

Full disclosure if you are with a toxic person, or in a toxic environment you must remember that you will only have more stress and fatigue in your life.

You cannot please the unpleasable.

But assuming that is not the case here are some further tips:

  • Rest before you get tired
  • Learn to relax at work – you do not need to burn yourself out!
  • Learn to relax at home – you need to recharge, and recover!
  • At work or home always deal with the urgent thing that must be taken care of, and through process of elimination work to get rid of all that needs to be done.
  • Make your job like a game – this will put enthusiasm into your work.
  • Do not stress about insomnia – nobody ever died from insomnia, just the damage that worrying does instead!
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Self Improvement

How To Go With The Flow | What Is Taoism

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It is important to have a philosophy, and perhaps Taoism is the right one for you.

Watch the video above now!

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Self Improvement

How to Get Out of a Rut FAST!

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“Be the change that you wish to see in the world.”

When I was a gambling addict, all I can say is it drove me to a depression I had never experienced before.

I had gambled so much in one particular week that I couldn’t even get out of bed for like 24 hours.

I was just so distraught, humiliated, and disgusted with myself.

I wanted so badly to be rid of this addiction, I hated it.

How could such a usually level headed and sensible person like myself be a bloody gambling addict?

I could ask a similar question to those who are reading this;

How did I get myself into this rut?

Or

How the hell do I get out of this rut?

What we must understand is life always has ups and downs.

We are entitled to believe that we are always welcome of good times, happiness, and joy all the time.

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A very naïve, and wrong way to think.

Using the law of attraction, and trusting and believing in the universe or god can also only get you so far.

It is better to understand like everything in life, there is a balance, a yin and a yang.

A good and an evil.

An up and a down.

And it doesn’t matter who you are or where you come from, ALL human beings unless they are bloody narcissists go through rut periods.

What would you define a rut to be?

A difficult, uninspiring, lazy and toxic period of time.

Where you are stagnant, doing things that do not benefit you, especially if it is “out of character.”

Having said that we must be careful as to who is accusing us of being in a rut.

I would not say somebody who is taking time turning their life around after narcissistic abuse by not rushing into a relationship, or many social events as a rut.

There is a big difference between being in a rut, and healing.

If like me you have been subject to narcissistic abuse, it is absolutely taxing and draining on our body mind and souls.

So it can take time to heal and recover, especially since there is no closure at the end of these awful types of relationships.

Our trust is in the gutter, along with our confidence.

The same cannot be said if for example you are god forbid going through a lazy period.

That is on you, you have chosen comfort.

You have decided not to start eating healthy.

You have chosen to indulge in pleasures that are toxic and no real good for your wellbeing.

What I am trying to say is, beyond healing/recovery vs being in a rut is very different.

If you are healing, my advice to you is ignore what idiots say to you about being “in a rut.

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They do not understand the trauma and toxicity you are processing.

For me, I searched for peace after narcissistic abuse, and I now spend my free time reading, listening to my music and relaxing.

To go from arguing, manipulation, abuse and plenty more every day to peace and quiet, is heaven to me.

I know it is not my future, but I am enjoying the recovery, and you should do the same.

But let us assume you are in a rut, you have found yourself off balance, and you are procrastinating, and so on.

What I did when I was addicted to gambling, or engaging in toxic behaviour that kept me in a rut, was educate myself as to how I got into this position.

So I read books, watched seminars, of addicts particularly gamblers.

I realized that I was manipulated into thinking gambling was “fun,” and that I SHOULD be doing it because it is cool.

I know that may seem silly to read, but it is the truth.

I then spoke to a former casino owner who told me “gambling is a lie, walk away do not pursue it do not ruin your life!”

It is no surprise that since I have been completely utterly clean of gambling my life has taken a dramatic turn for the better.

The same way can be applied to your life to get out of a rut.

Also there is most likely certain activities you are engaging in that are keeping you in a rut.

You could be sleeping too much – set your alarm earlier and wake the hell up.

You could be smoking or drinking too much – do your research and come clean.

You could be eating too much.

You could be hanging out with the wrong people.

Sometimes we are on an upward trajectory, and as a result those closest to us sometimes are the most dangerous to our self-improvement.

Because you are getting your act together, and they are not, they will criticise your life choices.

And as a result you take on their way of thinking, and instead of going to the gym you sit on your couch playing video games.

My advice here is only listen to this advice.

You know what you are doing that is holding you back, and you can stop it right now.

Imagine if you exercised every day for a year?

I don’t know exactly WHEN you will get into shape, but I guarantee you that your future self will pay off for it.

When I wrote my novel, I decided to write a page a day – easy right?

So a year later I had 365 pages of a book!

If you make the sacrifice today, your future self will benefit from it!

Doesn’t that excite you?

So you could be playing video games in the future AFTER reaching your goals.

Do the work NOW – because it pays off later.

Figure out “how did I get into this mess?”

9 times out of 10 you know exactly what you are doing that is holding you back, so very simply stop doing them.

And if you do not know why reach out to those who have been for advice.

You will be amazed what you can learn from other people – trust me.

Ultimately Frank Sinatra said it best;

“That’s life – that’s what all the people say – you’re riding high in April – shot down in May.

But I know I’m going to change that tune.

When I’m back on top, back on top in June!”

That is the fantastic thing ruts can be temporary if you understand it is a transitional period and YOU have the power to pull yourself out of it.

Only you can do it, nobody else.

Pull your socks up.

Put a smile on your face.

Get to work.

You got this.

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Dating Self Improvement

Stop Chasing People

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“Two things you will never have to chase: True friends & true love.”

One of my favourite cartoons growing up was the Road Runner and Wile Coyote.

I just really wanted him to finally catch the Road Runner!

He would try everything, spend loads of money buying items that ultimately got him injured or hurt.

And whilst we would all laugh at his failures, we would feel attached to his pursuit!

Why?

Because people love a chase.

People love games.

People think chasing is sexy.

Not just in a romantic sense, but in almost everything!

The ones who are hard to get, they just seem so much more beautiful and attractive.

However, like the quote above you should not have to chase true friends or love.

When we have worth as human beings, in a social sense, only the people that want what is best for you will see that.

You will NEVER be enough for the wrong person.

You will NEVER make a miserable person happy.

You will NEVER have a healthy life with an unhealthy person.

And by unhealthy I mean mentally, aka toxic and narcissistic individuals.

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How could you possibly have a good life when somebody like that has no empathy, no sympathy, and no understanding of the emotional support you really need?

For over two decades, I have chased everybody in my life.

All my friends, all my relationships, women, casual sex, you name it.

And to what avail?

To what purpose?

To get stabbed in the back, to be lied to, to be cheated on, to be abused and mistreated.

By those who were the closest to me, and those I loved and adored.

So when I walked away from my narcissistic relationship of several years in 2019, I made myself a solid promise that I would always stick to;

“I will NEVER chase anybody ever again.”

This statement sent a massive shockwave to the remaining narcissists and toxic people in my life.

They found it incredible I had the inner strength to walk away from a toxic relationship, and to remain no contact with my ex narcissist.

These silent enemies could not believe how tough I was, and how I was able to set healthy boundaries and stand up for myself.

That is where further abuse unfolded.

People ridiculed me.

People questioned me.

People tried to play games with me.

People tried to embarrass me.

And worst of all my former best friend took it too far.

He decided to act cold and distant, knowing that I had told him I wouldn’t be chasing.

He purposely ignored my calls, my texts to hang out, and speak.

He cancelled plans last minute.

But unlike my former self, I didn’t chase, I just moved on.

I was then greeted with narcissistic rage, and abuse by this former friend.

He insulted me, abused me, to which I walked away and have never spoken to him since, despite him begging me to forgive him, and him insisting I was just “oversensitive.”

Wrong – he is just another toxic person.

Having standards, having boundaries will make you a lone wolf.

You will become VERY aware of peoples toxic behaviour and their ability to manipulate and abuse almost everybody around them.

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But not me – and not you.

Why?

Because I do not chase.

I might meet the most beautiful woman.

But if she acts entitled, rude or disrespectful.

I won’t chase.

I might meet a nice dude to grab a beer with.

But if he starts acting like a douche, is rude, the usual.

I won’t chase.

If people won’t invite me out, or make an effort with me because they don’t value me.

I won’t chase.

I will instead chase my goals.

I will instead chase my dreams.

I will instead chase the truth – and the truth sets me free.

In the western world, we live in the most narcissistic and toxic woke culture I have ever seen.

I don’t subscribe to it.

I am perfectly fine eating a steak alone on a Saturday night listening to Jazz at peace.

What’s the alternative?

  • A toxic narcissistic relationship?
  • Dishonest friends?
  • Jealous people?

Absolutely not!

However, as I improve my life, and my standards so do the people around me.

I have seen better quality people become attracted to me.

I have seen better results.

I think clearer, and more like a winner.

The doubts, the negativity, the insecurity.

These are being caused by the awful people you have chased and forced yourself to be surrounded by.

At 21 I would feel insecure by not being allowed or invited to the hottest parties in town!

Or that my friends would get girls and I would fail.

Now with my experience, my gratitude I radiate abundance.

I know exactly what I enjoy, and exactly what I don’t.

I will no longer force myself into situations or with people who I just do not have a connection with.

I am the prize, I am the wise, and I am the winner.

Winners win – losers lose.

Winners don’t chase anybody, they pursue their purpose in life.

And with that, they attract people and situations that will compliment them along their journey.

I believe I will find the right partner who will improve my life.

I believe better friends will come my way, and so on.

Time makes all toxic and narcissistic friends lose in the end.

I am patient, I am knowing how life pans out.

I don’t give up, I still work hard, and I train and do not cry in my basement.

I still pursue women, I ask them out and if I get rejected I know it’s all a journey.

And if I see red flags, I block and delete.

I do not chase the wrong people.

I do not chase the wrong things.

I do not chase toxicity.

If you want to truly change your life, especially if you are suffering from the anxiety of being ghosted, feeling left out, being disrespected.

Stop chasing people, it is NOT worth it.

What is more, do not be surprised for these people to come BACK into your life chasing you.

Do not accept their requests.

Those who know your worth, don’t play games.

That is why I am ruthless with dating.

Because I know what it is like dating the wrong type of person – not pretty?

Chase a better life – not a person.

Categories
Law of Attraction Self Improvement

How to Stop Obsessively Thinking of Someone

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“Worry never robs tomorrow of its sorrow, it only saps today of its joy.”

It is normal to think about something, were humans, we have brains it is perfectly understandable.

But Obsessively Thinking, well that is truly another story.

OCD aka Obsessive Compulsive Disorder is never a pretty sight regardless.

It is completely different to sparing a moment to think about a person who has not crossed your mind in a while.

But if you are sat thinking constantly about said person over and over again, you run the risk of causing yourself great harm.

When I used to Obsessively Think about somebody, I found myself unable to enjoy my life, very agitated, very stressed and miserable.

Why does this happen?

Why do we still Obsessively Think about our ex?

Or why do we Obsessively Think about somebody we find attractive?

What is actually going on here in our brains, and more importantly how can we put a stop to it?!

The deep route of your Obsessive Thinking is very simple and that is you have an unresolved goal attached to somebody else.

So let us dive into the example of a romantic partner, either new or old.

If you are thinking of somebody you find attractive or a crush, it is because you have the unresolved goal of wanting to have them in your life in an intimate setting.

OR:

If you are thinking about an ex, it is most likely the unresolved goal of not getting over them after your break up and therefore you wish to re-attract them back into your life as your partner.

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At the end of the day, all we have is our thoughts, nothing more nothing less.

Whilst we CAN use that to our advantage there is literally no good in Obsessively Thinking over somebody.

I have noticed that it actually can mess your life up and cause you nothing but problems and more stress down the line.

It is better to use the precious time we have on this earth and in our lives to more effective means.

And as a result of doing this, we can actually use the power of the law of attraction to our advantage too.

We are very impatient as humans, we want it all and we want it now!

In the past I was just like this, I would meet a pretty girl and constantly think about her.

I would read into her every action, and whatever she said to me in way too much detail.

Without realizing it, doing that actually worked against me.

I would constantly text her, chase her, and push to see her.

Ultimately you can imagine how well that worked out over the years – it didn’t.

If I was patient, and realized that romance, love cannot be rushed, chased or forced, then maybe things would have worked out a little more in my favour.

When it comes to somebody we like there is a more powerful and effective approach to take.

What I learnt about Obsessively Thinking, was it was a habit.

I’ve had so many awful habits over the years, and they have led to such destructive addictions in my life – the worst being gambling.

Luckily like all habits and addictions – we are stronger and better than them all.

For me when I beat gambling I learnt about how I initially became addicted, and educated myself in the effective measures to get out.

It isn’t about will power – it is about learning that you have been tricked to believe gambling gives you pleasure.

Obsessively Thinking is no different.

We view Obsessively Thinking as the only measure to deal with our unresolved goals and it in a strange and ironic way it ends up giving us peace of mind.

By thinking of this person, and worrying about them obsessively, it means that somehow someway it is actually helping us.

We believe if we end up getting rejected – it is ok because we replayed it over and over in our minds expecting it to happen.

On the contrary if we end up in a relationship with them or bringing back an ex – it is ok and we know what to expect as we have over and over replayed it in our minds.

It is like playing God, but in the meantime what if nothing happens with this person?

Then we simply are out there looking for the NEXT person to fill the void of loneliness or co-dependency.

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If it works out then we then start Obsessively Thinking of how we don’t want to mess it up.

Ultimately working on your confidence and self-belief is key here.

Nobody is better than you, and vice versa.

But being insecure and worrying or Obsessively Thinking is doing no good to you.

It is better to use the law of attraction and imagine either of the following;

You ending up with this person happy.

You NOT ending up with this person.

You have no control over the situation, but either the positive or negative visualization has shown you what to expect.

And the moment you have done that it is TIME TO LET IT GO.

Once you do so, throw yourself head first into a passion project;

  • New business
  • Fitness programme
  • Writing
  • Music
  • Hobbies
  • Painting
  • Gaming
  • Socializing
  • Running
  • Pet Grooming

It really doesn’t matter what you do, but something magical will happen.

The more focused you are on something that makes your heart sing, or gives you joy and fulfilment, things fall into place in your life.

I went all in on SCG SHOW, and as a result a great thing happened for me.

A beautiful woman who I was once thinking about a great deal and had completely forgotten about reappeared into my life.

I wasn’t expecting it at all, but that is how the universe works.

When you work hard on improvement and being grateful for what you have and you channel that energy to something exciting and new – things for the better start happening to you.

And even if they don’t who cares, your life is already 10x better because you have a brand new project you are working on and no longer obsessing over somebody.

Good luck!

Categories
Business & Finance Self Improvement

Should You Quit Your Job?

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“Choose a job you love and you’ll never have to work another day in your life!”

Most people live in quiet desperation without realizing it.

They get up, brush their teeth and wash their face starting the commute to the job that literally brings them no satisfaction at all.

Just the other week I was with my brother who tried to convince us all he was happy in his job.

He is a teacher working in a miserable school, with miserable people.

For the past few years he has managed to increase his salary, and tried to move as much as a teacher can, but it has been as plain as can be on his face he is utterly miserable.

We asked him how he felt about a family vacation in the near future to which he replied “it all depends on where I am with the school, I am thinking of quitting.”

I never was one to criticize anybody for their choice of career or job, but I cannot help myself when it is ruining your life.

Most people are unsatisfied with their jobs and it makes them upset and almost unbearable to deal with in the process.

They make out they are happy, insist they are doing well, that all is ok.

Then the next thing I see is them overeating, drinking a little TOO much on the weekends, and above all their actions do not meet their words.

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Joe Rogan who is a successful podcaster said the following;

“For me, I hate the four day weekends that come around, I just want it to be Monday, because I love so much what I do!”

Do you want to survive or thrive?

Why do you want to suffer in quiet desperation in a soul destroying, ominous awful job that offers you absolutely no satisfaction or fulfilment?

I know people who are in god awful jobs who just love going to the bathroom to check social media as that is their only escapism from their awful work routine.

Read the following from a candidate for the House of Representatives in the US;

“I’ve quit five jobs.

I’ve given a two weeks’ notice each time.

I was let go each time before the two weeks were up.

The moral of my story is we are all replaceable.

Does your employer really care about you?

Is the extra work worth it?

Is the mandated overtime worth it?

We are all disposable.

Go home and spend time with your family.

Use your vacation time.

Take a mental health day.

Hit the gym.

Make time for your hobbies, interests, passions and personal development.

Make time to live your life.

We can’t get our time back.”

Did any of the above really hit home with you?

Why not instead of drinking and partying or binging on Netflix spend your time on a passion project?

Isn’t a passion project a better escape and route towards your happiness than your crappy job?

Look at SCG SHOW.

I have had enormous setbacks, horrible deals fall through, personal issues and so on.

Yet it all has led to the creation of SCG SHOW, and I am devoting all my time to it because I believe in myself and my project.

There is nothing more fulfilling that creating something yourself, and selling it to the world.

Rather than sitting in a little cubicle like a square peg trying to be forced into a round hole.

Remember you are making money for your boss and the board of directors.

They are the ones profiting off of YOU.

No matter how hard you work, or what you contribute you are unfortunately replaceable.

You are just a number, another rat on the hamster wheel.

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There is a reason why it is called a rat race.

I get it, you are probably trapped with debt, or student loans, kids, bills to pay.

But what about the time where you are normally destroying your body – aka time not spent on a passion project.

You have a gift to offer this world, and you don’t realize it.

You are more than your jobs, your debt, and your commitments.

Set aside daily time to work on your projects, and trust me if you work hard enough you will reap the rewards.

I always intended to work for myself, and I am so blessed that I do.

I remember going to some very rich areas near where I grew up to be inspired by those around me.

And the millionaires I met and spoke to were nowhere near as smart as me.

But they had something that I had, and that was the belief and determination to succeed.

So I have taken risks and believed in myself to become my own boss.

But that doesn’t come without discipline, hard work, dedication to a cause.

If you work hard at your job today you will hopefully pick up a salary by the end of the year assuming nothing goes wrong.

If you work hard at your passion project your life will change for the better in the near future.

Would you rather invest in yourself or in a company who can let you go at any given second?

Remember the older you get the less you do.

So the more responsibilities you take on i.e. mortgages, kids, more debts the less time and energy you have to dedicate to something worthwhile.

Rather it is beneficial while you are young to go ALL in on your work.

But be warned, do not listen to fake gurus online who tell you how to quit your job in exchange for a course worth $5,000.

I know you may be willing to quit your crappy job, but these scumbags are just trying to profit off your desperation for change.

If you do what is easy, your life will be hard.

If you do what is hard, your life will be easy.

But before you decide to quit, plan what you are going to do, get a calendar set realistic targets and just bloody go for it.

It is much worse to quit your crap job and then find yourself in an even worse one without a clear plan or goal to stick to.

Lastly no matter how old you are, or what your background is it is not over to change your life my friend.

You are just stuck, that is all.

Time to get unstuck, and thrive!

Categories
Narcissism Self Improvement

How To Handle Insults and Rude People

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“Rudeness is the weak man’s imitation of strength.”

Reality television and the rise of social media over the last few years has encouraged more narcissistic and entitled behaviour than in the history of modern civilization.

When it comes to rude people and insults they obviously go hand in hand with narcissistic personality disorder, sociopaths, and psychopaths to name a few.

But where does rudeness ultimately come from?

And why do people think it’s genuinely ok to insult us?

You have to understand that each and everyday people are rude and insulting almost everywhere.

  • People are rude to others on the train to work.
  • They are rude to waiters not bringing their food over soon enough.
  • They are rude about everything and anything.
  • Abuse and entitlement is everywhere.

As the quote says, it is a weak person’s imitation of strength.

However there is a difference in being rude and standing up for yourself.

If you find yourself in a slagging match with another rude person, whilst you may believe you are empowered and under the pretence that you are winning – really you are losing.

Rude people are usually disrespectful and have no filter, therefore they do what they want to get their way in order to make them feel good about themselves.

So if they insult you, and you do the same back to them, please tell me how that makes you better than them?

It doesn’t, you are lowering yourself to a level where you do NOT want to be.

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You are most likely an empathetic person, where you feel for others, care, and show remorse.

Rude people aka narcissists, are not like this.

Because if they DID think about other people’s feelings, they would actually NOT insult others or be rude.

So why are people usually rude?

Well there are several main reasons.

As I have touched on before, they are most likely narcissistic.

Narcissism is on the rise unfortunately for good and kind people, and as a result empaths are on the receiving end of horrible abuse, manipulation and all kinds of toxic behaviour.

Narcissists are no different to spoilt brats, they do and say what they want, and do not care about the consequences of their actions.

So unlike you, they can call you dreadful names and feel no remorse, because essentially they are just rude and toxic people.

A connected strand of narcissism and rudeness is insecurity.

This may come as a surprise to you, but usually when somebody is insulting you it is actually bringing out a flaw in themselves.

So if somebody calls you fat for example, it is most likely that THEY see themselves as fat, or if they call you a loser, or anything deeply personal it.

That may be hard to understand, and they may be in great shape ironically, but deep down they are insecure.

They are uncomfortable in their skin, as therefore as their victim they project onto you in a sick way to make them feel better about themselves, whilst in the process hurting our feelings so badly for such a scathing attack.

Another reason why people are rude is one that is often overlooked and it is jealousy.

I have been subject to the most rude and ignorant insults by people richer and better looking than me.

Why?

Because they were jealous of how I carried myself.

I had natural confidence, I had belief in myself, and had always the ability to stand up for what I believed in.

Yet these rich and beautiful people hated me, despite them having everything anyone would ask for.

And that is due to the fact THEY lacked confidence, self-belief, and were weak on the inside.

People can on the surface have it all, but feel dead inside.

So they act rude because you possess something they will never have, and it is easier to project insults than to look within.

Narcissists never self-reflect, because they would rather be a victim and blame everybody and anything else for the problems they are facing.

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Also rude people just have no empathy, therefore why would they care how hurt or insulted they have made you feel?

Remember, you are their emotional punching bag, you are the fix for their insecurity, jealousy, and narcissistic supply.

Luckily there is a way to deal with these individuals and my life experiences has shown me the best solutions.

I do not condone any forms of violence, and neither should you.

Turn the other cheek, and walk away, people are bloody crazy, it doesn’t matter how tough you are or think you can be.

You must pick yourself up, and walk away never to see that person again if you are faced with violence.

Fighting back with your fists will make matters worse.

The same goes with your words.

If somebody swears or insults you, doing it back to them will NOT solve any of your problems.

The best thing to do when faced with a rude person is to stay calm.

Do not react, but instead respond.

If somebody is hurling insults at you, just nod, be unfazed and try to remain calm.

Your calmness will aide you in your inner strength to combat such a malevolent person, and when the insults stop, simply tell them calmly the following;

“I am sorry, but I do not like the way you are speaking to me or treating me.

I find it to be very insulting and will not tolerate it.

So please stop it, thank you.”

Saying no to a narcissist is no different to a bad parent saying no to a spoilt brat.

They will not take it well, and they may get even more offensive!

So if you have conveyed your feelings calmly, and responded NOT reacted the only solution is to walk away.

Let me tell you a terrific method you can use today to help you in this process and that is the Gray rock method:

The grey rock method is a practice where an individual becomes emotionally non-responsive, boring, and virtually acts like a rock.

Emotional detachment serves to undermine a narcissist’s attempts to lure and manipulate, causing them to grow uninterested and bored.

So imagine yourself that you are a grey rock and how would it react to insults and rudeness?

It wouldn’t it would be dull, boring and unattached.

Rude people thrive off you being upset and hurt, but if you show you are not fazed and willing to go no contact and walk away, your pride and dignity increases tenfold!

Try it next time, and remember when you are faced with rudeness; go GREY ROCK!