Dating Self Improvement

Stop Chasing People


“Two things you will never have to chase: True friends & true love.”

One of my favourite cartoons growing up was the Road Runner and Wile Coyote.

I just really wanted him to finally catch the Road Runner!

He would try everything, spend loads of money buying items that ultimately got him injured or hurt.

And whilst we would all laugh at his failures, we would feel attached to his pursuit!


Because people love a chase.

People love games.

People think chasing is sexy.

Not just in a romantic sense, but in almost everything!

The ones who are hard to get, they just seem so much more beautiful and attractive.

However, like the quote above you should not have to chase true friends or love.

When we have worth as human beings, in a social sense, only the people that want what is best for you will see that.

You will NEVER be enough for the wrong person.

You will NEVER make a miserable person happy.

You will NEVER have a healthy life with an unhealthy person.

And by unhealthy I mean mentally, aka toxic and narcissistic individuals.


How could you possibly have a good life when somebody like that has no empathy, no sympathy, and no understanding of the emotional support you really need?

For over two decades, I have chased everybody in my life.

All my friends, all my relationships, women, casual sex, you name it.

And to what avail?

To what purpose?

To get stabbed in the back, to be lied to, to be cheated on, to be abused and mistreated.

By those who were the closest to me, and those I loved and adored.

So when I walked away from my narcissistic relationship of several years in 2019, I made myself a solid promise that I would always stick to;

“I will NEVER chase anybody ever again.”

This statement sent a massive shockwave to the remaining narcissists and toxic people in my life.

They found it incredible I had the inner strength to walk away from a toxic relationship, and to remain no contact with my ex narcissist.

These silent enemies could not believe how tough I was, and how I was able to set healthy boundaries and stand up for myself.

That is where further abuse unfolded.

People ridiculed me.

People questioned me.

People tried to play games with me.

People tried to embarrass me.

And worst of all my former best friend took it too far.

He decided to act cold and distant, knowing that I had told him I wouldn’t be chasing.

He purposely ignored my calls, my texts to hang out, and speak.

He cancelled plans last minute.

But unlike my former self, I didn’t chase, I just moved on.

I was then greeted with narcissistic rage, and abuse by this former friend.

He insulted me, abused me, to which I walked away and have never spoken to him since, despite him begging me to forgive him, and him insisting I was just “oversensitive.”

Wrong – he is just another toxic person.

Having standards, having boundaries will make you a lone wolf.

You will become VERY aware of peoples toxic behaviour and their ability to manipulate and abuse almost everybody around them.


But not me – and not you.


Because I do not chase.

I might meet the most beautiful woman.

But if she acts entitled, rude or disrespectful.

I won’t chase.

I might meet a nice dude to grab a beer with.

But if he starts acting like a douche, is rude, the usual.

I won’t chase.

If people won’t invite me out, or make an effort with me because they don’t value me.

I won’t chase.

I will instead chase my goals.

I will instead chase my dreams.

I will instead chase the truth – and the truth sets me free.

In the western world, we live in the most narcissistic and toxic woke culture I have ever seen.

I don’t subscribe to it.

I am perfectly fine eating a steak alone on a Saturday night listening to Jazz at peace.

What’s the alternative?

  • A toxic narcissistic relationship?
  • Dishonest friends?
  • Jealous people?

Absolutely not!

However, as I improve my life, and my standards so do the people around me.

I have seen better quality people become attracted to me.

I have seen better results.

I think clearer, and more like a winner.

The doubts, the negativity, the insecurity.

These are being caused by the awful people you have chased and forced yourself to be surrounded by.

At 21 I would feel insecure by not being allowed or invited to the hottest parties in town!

Or that my friends would get girls and I would fail.

Now with my experience, my gratitude I radiate abundance.

I know exactly what I enjoy, and exactly what I don’t.

I will no longer force myself into situations or with people who I just do not have a connection with.

I am the prize, I am the wise, and I am the winner.

Winners win – losers lose.

Winners don’t chase anybody, they pursue their purpose in life.

And with that, they attract people and situations that will compliment them along their journey.

I believe I will find the right partner who will improve my life.

I believe better friends will come my way, and so on.

Time makes all toxic and narcissistic friends lose in the end.

I am patient, I am knowing how life pans out.

I don’t give up, I still work hard, and I train and do not cry in my basement.

I still pursue women, I ask them out and if I get rejected I know it’s all a journey.

And if I see red flags, I block and delete.

I do not chase the wrong people.

I do not chase the wrong things.

I do not chase toxicity.

If you want to truly change your life, especially if you are suffering from the anxiety of being ghosted, feeling left out, being disrespected.

Stop chasing people, it is NOT worth it.

What is more, do not be surprised for these people to come BACK into your life chasing you.

Do not accept their requests.

Those who know your worth, don’t play games.

That is why I am ruthless with dating.

Because I know what it is like dating the wrong type of person – not pretty?

Chase a better life – not a person.

Law of Attraction Self Improvement

How to Stop Obsessively Thinking of Someone


“Worry never robs tomorrow of its sorrow, it only saps today of its joy.”

It is normal to think about something, were humans, we have brains it is perfectly understandable.

But Obsessively Thinking, well that is truly another story.

OCD aka Obsessive Compulsive Disorder is never a pretty sight regardless.

It is completely different to sparing a moment to think about a person who has not crossed your mind in a while.

But if you are sat thinking constantly about said person over and over again, you run the risk of causing yourself great harm.

When I used to Obsessively Think about somebody, I found myself unable to enjoy my life, very agitated, very stressed and miserable.

Why does this happen?

Why do we still Obsessively Think about our ex?

Or why do we Obsessively Think about somebody we find attractive?

What is actually going on here in our brains, and more importantly how can we put a stop to it?!

The deep route of your Obsessive Thinking is very simple and that is you have an unresolved goal attached to somebody else.

So let us dive into the example of a romantic partner, either new or old.

If you are thinking of somebody you find attractive or a crush, it is because you have the unresolved goal of wanting to have them in your life in an intimate setting.


If you are thinking about an ex, it is most likely the unresolved goal of not getting over them after your break up and therefore you wish to re-attract them back into your life as your partner.


At the end of the day, all we have is our thoughts, nothing more nothing less.

Whilst we CAN use that to our advantage there is literally no good in Obsessively Thinking over somebody.

I have noticed that it actually can mess your life up and cause you nothing but problems and more stress down the line.

It is better to use the precious time we have on this earth and in our lives to more effective means.

And as a result of doing this, we can actually use the power of the law of attraction to our advantage too.

We are very impatient as humans, we want it all and we want it now!

In the past I was just like this, I would meet a pretty girl and constantly think about her.

I would read into her every action, and whatever she said to me in way too much detail.

Without realizing it, doing that actually worked against me.

I would constantly text her, chase her, and push to see her.

Ultimately you can imagine how well that worked out over the years – it didn’t.

If I was patient, and realized that romance, love cannot be rushed, chased or forced, then maybe things would have worked out a little more in my favour.

When it comes to somebody we like there is a more powerful and effective approach to take.

What I learnt about Obsessively Thinking, was it was a habit.

I’ve had so many awful habits over the years, and they have led to such destructive addictions in my life – the worst being gambling.

Luckily like all habits and addictions – we are stronger and better than them all.

For me when I beat gambling I learnt about how I initially became addicted, and educated myself in the effective measures to get out.

It isn’t about will power – it is about learning that you have been tricked to believe gambling gives you pleasure.

Obsessively Thinking is no different.

We view Obsessively Thinking as the only measure to deal with our unresolved goals and it in a strange and ironic way it ends up giving us peace of mind.

By thinking of this person, and worrying about them obsessively, it means that somehow someway it is actually helping us.

We believe if we end up getting rejected – it is ok because we replayed it over and over in our minds expecting it to happen.

On the contrary if we end up in a relationship with them or bringing back an ex – it is ok and we know what to expect as we have over and over replayed it in our minds.

It is like playing God, but in the meantime what if nothing happens with this person?

Then we simply are out there looking for the NEXT person to fill the void of loneliness or co-dependency.


If it works out then we then start Obsessively Thinking of how we don’t want to mess it up.

Ultimately working on your confidence and self-belief is key here.

Nobody is better than you, and vice versa.

But being insecure and worrying or Obsessively Thinking is doing no good to you.

It is better to use the law of attraction and imagine either of the following;

You ending up with this person happy.

You NOT ending up with this person.

You have no control over the situation, but either the positive or negative visualization has shown you what to expect.

And the moment you have done that it is TIME TO LET IT GO.

Once you do so, throw yourself head first into a passion project;

  • New business
  • Fitness programme
  • Writing
  • Music
  • Hobbies
  • Painting
  • Gaming
  • Socializing
  • Running
  • Pet Grooming

It really doesn’t matter what you do, but something magical will happen.

The more focused you are on something that makes your heart sing, or gives you joy and fulfilment, things fall into place in your life.

I went all in on SCG SHOW, and as a result a great thing happened for me.

A beautiful woman who I was once thinking about a great deal and had completely forgotten about reappeared into my life.

I wasn’t expecting it at all, but that is how the universe works.

When you work hard on improvement and being grateful for what you have and you channel that energy to something exciting and new – things for the better start happening to you.

And even if they don’t who cares, your life is already 10x better because you have a brand new project you are working on and no longer obsessing over somebody.

Good luck!

Business & Finance Self Improvement

Should You Quit Your Job?


“Choose a job you love and you’ll never have to work another day in your life!”

Most people live in quiet desperation without realizing it.

They get up, brush their teeth and wash their face starting the commute to the job that literally brings them no satisfaction at all.

Just the other week I was with my brother who tried to convince us all he was happy in his job.

He is a teacher working in a miserable school, with miserable people.

For the past few years he has managed to increase his salary, and tried to move as much as a teacher can, but it has been as plain as can be on his face he is utterly miserable.

We asked him how he felt about a family vacation in the near future to which he replied “it all depends on where I am with the school, I am thinking of quitting.”

I never was one to criticize anybody for their choice of career or job, but I cannot help myself when it is ruining your life.

Most people are unsatisfied with their jobs and it makes them upset and almost unbearable to deal with in the process.

They make out they are happy, insist they are doing well, that all is ok.

Then the next thing I see is them overeating, drinking a little TOO much on the weekends, and above all their actions do not meet their words.


Joe Rogan who is a successful podcaster said the following;

“For me, I hate the four day weekends that come around, I just want it to be Monday, because I love so much what I do!”

Do you want to survive or thrive?

Why do you want to suffer in quiet desperation in a soul destroying, ominous awful job that offers you absolutely no satisfaction or fulfilment?

I know people who are in god awful jobs who just love going to the bathroom to check social media as that is their only escapism from their awful work routine.

Read the following from a candidate for the House of Representatives in the US;

“I’ve quit five jobs.

I’ve given a two weeks’ notice each time.

I was let go each time before the two weeks were up.

The moral of my story is we are all replaceable.

Does your employer really care about you?

Is the extra work worth it?

Is the mandated overtime worth it?

We are all disposable.

Go home and spend time with your family.

Use your vacation time.

Take a mental health day.

Hit the gym.

Make time for your hobbies, interests, passions and personal development.

Make time to live your life.

We can’t get our time back.”

Did any of the above really hit home with you?

Why not instead of drinking and partying or binging on Netflix spend your time on a passion project?

Isn’t a passion project a better escape and route towards your happiness than your crappy job?

Look at SCG SHOW.

I have had enormous setbacks, horrible deals fall through, personal issues and so on.

Yet it all has led to the creation of SCG SHOW, and I am devoting all my time to it because I believe in myself and my project.

There is nothing more fulfilling that creating something yourself, and selling it to the world.

Rather than sitting in a little cubicle like a square peg trying to be forced into a round hole.

Remember you are making money for your boss and the board of directors.

They are the ones profiting off of YOU.

No matter how hard you work, or what you contribute you are unfortunately replaceable.

You are just a number, another rat on the hamster wheel.


There is a reason why it is called a rat race.

I get it, you are probably trapped with debt, or student loans, kids, bills to pay.

But what about the time where you are normally destroying your body – aka time not spent on a passion project.

You have a gift to offer this world, and you don’t realize it.

You are more than your jobs, your debt, and your commitments.

Set aside daily time to work on your projects, and trust me if you work hard enough you will reap the rewards.

I always intended to work for myself, and I am so blessed that I do.

I remember going to some very rich areas near where I grew up to be inspired by those around me.

And the millionaires I met and spoke to were nowhere near as smart as me.

But they had something that I had, and that was the belief and determination to succeed.

So I have taken risks and believed in myself to become my own boss.

But that doesn’t come without discipline, hard work, dedication to a cause.

If you work hard at your job today you will hopefully pick up a salary by the end of the year assuming nothing goes wrong.

If you work hard at your passion project your life will change for the better in the near future.

Would you rather invest in yourself or in a company who can let you go at any given second?

Remember the older you get the less you do.

So the more responsibilities you take on i.e. mortgages, kids, more debts the less time and energy you have to dedicate to something worthwhile.

Rather it is beneficial while you are young to go ALL in on your work.

But be warned, do not listen to fake gurus online who tell you how to quit your job in exchange for a course worth $5,000.

I know you may be willing to quit your crappy job, but these scumbags are just trying to profit off your desperation for change.

If you do what is easy, your life will be hard.

If you do what is hard, your life will be easy.

But before you decide to quit, plan what you are going to do, get a calendar set realistic targets and just bloody go for it.

It is much worse to quit your crap job and then find yourself in an even worse one without a clear plan or goal to stick to.

Lastly no matter how old you are, or what your background is it is not over to change your life my friend.

You are just stuck, that is all.

Time to get unstuck, and thrive!

Narcissism Self Improvement

How To Handle Insults and Rude People


“Rudeness is the weak man’s imitation of strength.”

Reality television and the rise of social media over the last few years has encouraged more narcissistic and entitled behaviour than in the history of modern civilization.

When it comes to rude people and insults they obviously go hand in hand with narcissistic personality disorder, sociopaths, and psychopaths to name a few.

But where does rudeness ultimately come from?

And why do people think it’s genuinely ok to insult us?

You have to understand that each and everyday people are rude and insulting almost everywhere.

  • People are rude to others on the train to work.
  • They are rude to waiters not bringing their food over soon enough.
  • They are rude about everything and anything.
  • Abuse and entitlement is everywhere.

As the quote says, it is a weak person’s imitation of strength.

However there is a difference in being rude and standing up for yourself.

If you find yourself in a slagging match with another rude person, whilst you may believe you are empowered and under the pretence that you are winning – really you are losing.

Rude people are usually disrespectful and have no filter, therefore they do what they want to get their way in order to make them feel good about themselves.

So if they insult you, and you do the same back to them, please tell me how that makes you better than them?

It doesn’t, you are lowering yourself to a level where you do NOT want to be.


You are most likely an empathetic person, where you feel for others, care, and show remorse.

Rude people aka narcissists, are not like this.

Because if they DID think about other people’s feelings, they would actually NOT insult others or be rude.

So why are people usually rude?

Well there are several main reasons.

As I have touched on before, they are most likely narcissistic.

Narcissism is on the rise unfortunately for good and kind people, and as a result empaths are on the receiving end of horrible abuse, manipulation and all kinds of toxic behaviour.

Narcissists are no different to spoilt brats, they do and say what they want, and do not care about the consequences of their actions.

So unlike you, they can call you dreadful names and feel no remorse, because essentially they are just rude and toxic people.

A connected strand of narcissism and rudeness is insecurity.

This may come as a surprise to you, but usually when somebody is insulting you it is actually bringing out a flaw in themselves.

So if somebody calls you fat for example, it is most likely that THEY see themselves as fat, or if they call you a loser, or anything deeply personal it.

That may be hard to understand, and they may be in great shape ironically, but deep down they are insecure.

They are uncomfortable in their skin, as therefore as their victim they project onto you in a sick way to make them feel better about themselves, whilst in the process hurting our feelings so badly for such a scathing attack.

Another reason why people are rude is one that is often overlooked and it is jealousy.

I have been subject to the most rude and ignorant insults by people richer and better looking than me.


Because they were jealous of how I carried myself.

I had natural confidence, I had belief in myself, and had always the ability to stand up for what I believed in.

Yet these rich and beautiful people hated me, despite them having everything anyone would ask for.

And that is due to the fact THEY lacked confidence, self-belief, and were weak on the inside.

People can on the surface have it all, but feel dead inside.

So they act rude because you possess something they will never have, and it is easier to project insults than to look within.

Narcissists never self-reflect, because they would rather be a victim and blame everybody and anything else for the problems they are facing.


Also rude people just have no empathy, therefore why would they care how hurt or insulted they have made you feel?

Remember, you are their emotional punching bag, you are the fix for their insecurity, jealousy, and narcissistic supply.

Luckily there is a way to deal with these individuals and my life experiences has shown me the best solutions.

I do not condone any forms of violence, and neither should you.

Turn the other cheek, and walk away, people are bloody crazy, it doesn’t matter how tough you are or think you can be.

You must pick yourself up, and walk away never to see that person again if you are faced with violence.

Fighting back with your fists will make matters worse.

The same goes with your words.

If somebody swears or insults you, doing it back to them will NOT solve any of your problems.

The best thing to do when faced with a rude person is to stay calm.

Do not react, but instead respond.

If somebody is hurling insults at you, just nod, be unfazed and try to remain calm.

Your calmness will aide you in your inner strength to combat such a malevolent person, and when the insults stop, simply tell them calmly the following;

“I am sorry, but I do not like the way you are speaking to me or treating me.

I find it to be very insulting and will not tolerate it.

So please stop it, thank you.”

Saying no to a narcissist is no different to a bad parent saying no to a spoilt brat.

They will not take it well, and they may get even more offensive!

So if you have conveyed your feelings calmly, and responded NOT reacted the only solution is to walk away.

Let me tell you a terrific method you can use today to help you in this process and that is the Gray rock method:

The grey rock method is a practice where an individual becomes emotionally non-responsive, boring, and virtually acts like a rock.

Emotional detachment serves to undermine a narcissist’s attempts to lure and manipulate, causing them to grow uninterested and bored.

So imagine yourself that you are a grey rock and how would it react to insults and rudeness?

It wouldn’t it would be dull, boring and unattached.

Rude people thrive off you being upset and hurt, but if you show you are not fazed and willing to go no contact and walk away, your pride and dignity increases tenfold!

Try it next time, and remember when you are faced with rudeness; go GREY ROCK!

Relationships Self Improvement

Read This If You Have No Friends


“Remember: the time you feel lonely is the time you most need to be by yourself. Life’s cruellest irony.”

It is no surprise that the rise of narcissism, sociopaths and borderline personalities have had a detrimental effects on marriages ending in divorce, and best friends falling out.

I have a solid piece of advice that I want to give you, (however before I do) if you are reading this and you have no friends, understand that it is perfectly understandable and normal.

At school I fit into so many different groups and that is largely (not to toot my own horn that much) I was a bloody interesting dude.

I was a musician, but I loved sports.

I loved gaming, yet I loved psychology too.

I had so many different types of friends from different social groups.

The jocks, the geeks, the girls, and so on.

I never belonged to one particular group because I had a vast array of interests, and I still do.

I saw high school friends as disposable, because I knew that it was only for a limited amount of time, and eventually we would be moving on with our lives.

I was absolutely right.

Same I would assume go for college – but I digress.

I will give you three separate examples of former best friends who I had to cut away from.

The first one was a buddy from high school, and I stuck by his side and no matter what I had always supported him.

But as I was growing up and became more confident in myself I saw many narcissistic patterns in him.

  • He was a control freak
  • Everything was on his terms
  • He only wanted me when he was bored
  • When I needed him he was never there for me
  • He lacked empathy

His behaviour was disgusting, and unforgiveable, so I cut contact with him.

This was a guy I had been on vacation with three times, and I had spent years of my life loving.

Only for him to betray my trust, and ultimately use me like a toy.

The second best friend I had was no different.

We had done so much together over the years, and yet he was never really appreciative.

One day I had in my previous business secured a massive contract that would ultimately change my life for the best!

I was so delighted that I called my former best friend to join me in town after work for a “celebratory dinner, my treat!”

Eventually this guy turns up with a face like thunder moody, and completely ruined my vibe.

I told him “it brings me great joy that I am here with you, and sharing this proud moment with my best friend.”

He didn’t respond.

So there we were sat awkwardly as he ordered the most expensive item on the menu (knowing I would pay), and hardly spoke and was completely miserable.

On top of that he didn’t buy me a drink nor offer to as a thank you at any of the bars we went to later that evening.

I hated how I was treated, and told him “I can no longer be friends with you,” and walked away.

Lastly only just 3 months as I am writing this post (Jan 2020), a family friend of over 30 years projected on me and gave me narcissistic abuse.

He slammed my appearance

He criticized my dress sense

How I spoke to people

He threw personal private information back in my face

Verbally abused me

All because he was insecure and “drunk and had a bad day at work.

I of course walked away from this relationship too.

My point here is despite being dreadfully unlucky when it came to best friends, that most of the time if you are not careful you will attract the wrong type of people into your life!

Dr Jordan Peterson sums up the solution to the type of friends you want to have right here;

This advice is simple; “make friends with people that want the best for you.”

You have something to offer this world, there is something good about you (assuming you are not narcissistic, because if you were you would not be reading this article).

There are GOOD people out there that will be by your side when you are winning or losing in life.

However beware there are malevolent toxic narcissistic and evil people who want to bring you down to your level.

What you think about expands, so if you are surrounded by people’s toxicity it will breed into your life like poison.


It is better to have no friends than to feel alone in any relationship.

Tolerating any form of abuse, gaslighting, manipulation or similar is just detrimental to your mental health and wellbeing.

I’d rather be alone than willingly tolerate other peoples crap.

But if you learn from your solitude rather than play the victim you will understand so many important lessons.

Having no friends can teach you to increase your accountability.

Being surrounded by friends all the time means you are constantly accountable for others actions, and instead you can be in charge and only answer to yourself.

Your decision making skills will vastly increase because you have nobody to consult with.

You can eat what you want, where you want, when you want.

I’ve eaten alone many times, gone to the cinema, you name it.

There is no stigma, I will not stop living my life because I am alone, and neither should you.

Your bravery will increase as well as your risk taking but in a positive way.

You may start to learn a skill, or attend a class, or pack up and go travelling wherever your heart desires!

You interpret the word “no,” as “on.”

All of this will lead you into the wonderful world of personal growth, where you can self-reflect on your life, your actions and what you want to improve.

Having friends is not overrated if you are not in a good place in your life.

Embrace the change, learn the lessons, but ultimately when the time is right and the opportunity is there be sure to; “make friends with people who want the best for you only!”

Self Improvement

How To Become a Stoic | The Art of Not Caring


“We suffer more often in imagination than in reality”

When I first discovered Stoicism it really hit me like a tonne of bricks on so many levels.

It worried me that as a man who was well into my 30s, that I did not apply a philosophy of life.

Yes I may be religious and I am orthodox but I needed something to coincide with my faith.

Many will argue religion is enough and that is true to an extent, however as long as it had no ramifications on my faith, I decided to start doing some research.

Originally I was always drawn to how the Buddhists thought and dealt with their emotions and their constant need for peace and tranquillity in their lives.

But I wasn’t going to become a Buddhist monk.

I read some of the teachings of the Dalai Lama, and I found it to be quite fascinating.

What I noticed was that Buddhists lived an extremely minimalistic lifestyle.

They could go completely without sex, food, and other necessaries and temptations for very long periods.

I had a very strange relationship with meditations over the years.

On the plus side, I loved to quiet my mind, visualize and just relax.

On the other hand, I never meditated as a young child, and those were the happiest moments of my life.

I didn’t need to stop and meditate as a kid, why do so as an adult?

For the record I am not discriminating against anybody who does meditate, but it’s not the answer to all of life’s questions.

I also have applied a large amount of teaching from the Law of attraction.

Like attracts like, what you think about expands, and your imagination creates reality.


However, once again it has its limitations, feeling “happy all the time,” and “only positive thoughts,” is not the best or healthiest way to see the world.

I strongly believe though that it probably makes more sense to see the world for both light and dark.

Good and bad.

Heaven and hell.

I also believe all humans have the capacity for good, and what is morally correct.

Yet, if we look around there is so much noise and disruption to our brain and our spirit, it’s hard to really keep focused.

Whether is drama, work, society, the news, certain types of music, reality tv, whatever it is unfortunately having a lasting effect on our minds.

And as the law of attraction states, what we think about expands.

So we are without realizing constantly thinking about our friend’s problems, the narcissists we have in our lives drama, and so on and so forth.

Not having a clear philosophy of life, can make your life extremely difficult.

Don’t get me wrong having a philosophy won’t solve all your problems, but it can make life a little bit more meaningful and less difficult.

I agree with Dr Jordan Peterson a world famous psychologist that life truly is suffering;

Dr Peterson was the first to bring me to the attention that life truly is difficult and suffering.

Now NORMALLY you would see this with a very harsh negative point of view.

Most law of attraction gurus would ultimately say “that’s negative thinking, by acting like that it won’t achieve your goal.”

But what if I was to tell you, since applying such a mind-set I have attracted more wealth, better mental clarity, and more manifestations?

Yes, negative thinking but applied in a logical and philosophical way actually is more effective than just feeling down in the dumps and giving up on life.

I researched this more, and read some articles about how Dr Peterson was actually preaching Stoicism.

I had no idea what the word Stoicism even really meant, so I decided to look it up even more for an official definition;

“The endurance of pain or hardship without the display of feelings and without complaint.”

Then I looked up its origins;

“An ancient Greek school of philosophy founded at Athens by Zeno of Citium. The school taught that virtue, the highest good, is based on knowledge; the wise live in harmony with the divine Reason (also identified with Fate and Providence) that governs nature, and are indifferent to the vicissitudes of fortune and to pleasure and pain.”

As soon as I read that, I was intrigued, and through myself into books, seminars and teachings on the subject.

It was the perfect time for me to do so, because I had just gone through a break up with a narcissist, and happened to be going through a very difficult yet important life transition.

What I have learnt about stoicism, is in very basic and simplistic terms is as humans we are often desperate to seek control of almost everything in our lives.

We want to control the weather, other people, our companies, our jobs, our bodies and so on.

When in fact we only have one thing we can control, and that is our character.

How we respond (not react), to for example a toxic person, is our choice nobody elses.

We of course have no control over what a toxic person says or does, but we have 100% of a choice to walk away and not tolerate any form of abuse.

Insecurity is something that plagued me all of my life, and still does to a degree.

But what if I was to tell you ancient stoics used to dress up as fools and walk around town wanting to be ridiculed.

The reason why they did so was to show themselves that everything external, i.e. everything outside of their being and character could never hurt them.

I immediately applied this philosophy to my life, and it has transformed almost everything.

There is a very popular trend of minimalism going around the web these past few years, and that is essentially the practice of stoicism.

Being a stoic teaches you to be grateful for what you have, but be perfectly ok with it all being taken away.

Stoics stress that everything has a time limit, and will eventually come to an end;

  • Life
  • Money
  • Friends
  • Family
  • Jobs
  • Work
  • Houses
  • Cars

All things that MAY hold sentimental value, but again are external to us.

Some things we have some form of control over, i.e. what car we drive, where we live, who we decide to be friends with.

But ultimately, these are not needed in order to actually live a meaningful and successful life.


All we need is our peace and tranquillity.

In fact stoics actually tell people to not chase desires, goals or dreams.

The reason why they advise this is because they believe getting attached to a dream that may not work out will affect our tranquillity especially if it doesn’t work out.

But a way around this is to still work towards a goal and a dream whilst being perfectly happy and grateful for where you are.

This powerful secret will manifest more desires and goods into your life because you will naturally be feeling more abundant by doing so!

I am even grateful to have this blog and platform to be talking and writing for you to read it.

Seriously, this is what allows you to become a more successful person.

Because you ultimately know what you are grateful for.

You may be thinking “but I have high standards, I want to be a millionaire!”

Some of the most successful and richest people in the world such as Tim Ferris, Robert Greene, and even Elon Musk are practicing stoics.

They are grateful for what they have, and are enough without the temptations of all externals.

It can be summed up by this great line in a Marvel movie of all things;

This underappreciated scene shows Peter Parker (Spider-man), begging Tony Stark to keep this special suit that was gifted to him.

He is “nothing without the suit!”

Whereas Stark emphasizes “if you are nothing without that suit, then you shouldn’t have it.”

A truly powerful statement, and incredibly Stoic if I’ve ever seen one.

We are more than our cars, our partners, our homes, and our money.

We are creators, imaginers, and good people if we are appreciative of who we are and our characters.

Marcus Aurelius was a roman emperor, and a successful one if that.

Yet he too was a practicing stoic himself.

He said:

“Almost nothing material is needed for a happy life, for he who has understood existence.”

The irony of applying Stoicism into your life is how much success comes your way as a result.

People and contacts will reach out of whom you would never expect to hear from.

Work flows better, because you are doing your best and hitting your targets irrespective of if fails or not.

Your tranquillity is your highest priority, and you couldn’t care less about walking away from toxic people, situations or chasing the wrong things.

Do your own research, because if you do not or have not got a philosophy in your life, it is sure as hell time you got one.

Self Improvement Trending

Martin Luther King Day Motivation


“The time is always right to do what is right.” – Dr Martin Luther King Jr.

It is really easy to look back throughout history at the likes of Dr King, and think how incredible he was.

But what is NOT easy is applying even just a small percentage of what he did in his life.

And by that I actually mean taking risks, being a leader, embracing fear.

Dr King was ultimately a human being too, and I look at him as such an enormous inspiration for leaders all over the globe.

I learnt how to be a leader from the greats throughout history, and it is really hard and would be foolish NOT to include Dr King in that argument.

The fact he was so influential, and having seen a positive dream come true really gets me quite emotional.

There are many leadership lessons we can learn from this great man, and we should have them written in stone or in our bathroom mirror to help us take on the trials and tribulations of life.


Becoming a leader does not just mean however leading a political movement.

It means leading your life to something better, and a wonderful future.

If you sacrifice who you are today, your future self will thank you for it 10 fold.

We are currently living in a digital age, where social media has warped our mind to think certain ways.

We are either right wing or left wing, atheist or religious.

None of that matters.

What truly matters to anyone individual is what they truly believe in.

Imagine going to a terrible job every day having your boss tell you what to do, the government, your community, or worse on top of all that, your partner.

It is a system, to keep you down in the pecking order, hardly an influence, and essentially pigeon holed into a way of thinking that benefits everybody but yourself.

But Dr King, would he just lay down or take it, or stand up for what is right and what he believes in?

Here are four leadership lessons we can learn from the great man himself:


Whether it be a political dream, or a business dream, stay true to what you are fighting for.

I know a guy who wanted to have his own restaurant, it was his ultimate dream.

He was the best cook we knew, and he left his office job to open up a Seafood restaurant.

This guy initially became so successful, you had to book a month in advance to get a table!

But as his popularity grew, his attention did too.

And people came to him offering different advice for his menu, for his décor, everything!

Fast forward a few weeks later, and he was selling pizzas, had live music, painted the walls darker, and it became a mess – all because he listened to everybody else.

His quality went down the pan, and so did is focus.

And with that, he lost all his money as the restaurant was just all over the place, and therefore his dream.

Know your cause, still to what it is that you want to achieve.

It is very easy to get distracted, listen to others.

However Dr King didn’t, he knew exactly what is dream was, and he stuck to it no matter what.

And it became reality, and he will forever be a legend as a result.


I was surprised to find out DR King often felt scared or worried before a speech that he would make.

“If you are not anxious, you are not engaged.”

What fears have held you back in your life?

What are you afraid of for not doing what you know in your heart to be right?

In my life, Dr King inspired me to face my fears.

I quit my job to work for myself.

I was nervous of talking but I started a YouTube channel and blog.

I was told I was “stupid” – but I wrote and published my own novel.

I was told “I am not a business man,” – but I have been in business for over a decade for myself.

I was told “you’ll never attract a woman,” – and I have been lucky to have plenty of girlfriends.

Notice a trend here?

People will encourage fears and insecurities in others even know they are possibly there already.

What that means is, yes it’s hard to work for yourself, but it’s even harder to not do what your heart truly desires.

The fact that one of the most inspirational speakers to have ever lived aka Dr King was nervous, and scared makes him more human than perhaps we ever truly realized.

So by knowing that use that as inspiration to face your demons, and your life will improve dramatically as you do so.


There is no I in team.

And this couldn’t be truer when it comes to being a born leader.

Without the people and audiences he inspired, Dr King’s words would never have had the impact they did, and nobody would remember him.

He wanted people to join him in his cause.

My channel just recently grew to over 100 subscribers, and I got very emotional thanking the wonderful people who have joined my community.

Without people to believe and follow your cause, what are you?

Nothing but just another person.

Same with a company, Walt Disney was a leader but had an amazing team of imaginers and animators who brought his visions and desires to life.

These people legacies are accelerated thanks to the people behind the goal and vision.

Leaders get people involved into their vision.


Like all great leaders Dr King faced plenty of setbacks and moments of failure.

He was arrested over 20 times, his house was bombed and set aflame, and he was even stabbed!

But King never let these obstacles stand in his way.

When I discovered this it just made me respect the man even more.

In my life as mentioned before, I was told I would never amount to anything.

All great leaders rise above adversity, and persevere.

There are countless examples of those who never gave up and fought for what they dreamed and believed in.

These are the marks of a truly exceptional leader, and if you implemented just a fraction of what Dr King did, who knows what you can achieve.

Happy Martin Luther King Day!

Self Improvement

10 Signs of Depression That Should Never Be Ignored


In this video I discuss 10 signs of depression that should NOT be ignored!



If this is a clinical emergency please contact emergency services.

I think its personally brilliant that Mental Health Awareness is on the rise in the UK and worldwide.

More and more people are suffering in silence on a daily basis, and hopefully the drive to increase awareness will also have a huge impact on helping more people who desperately need it.

From my personal experience I have had a few bouts of depression and let me tell you it was not pretty.

The very worse I had felt was when I was previously addicted to gambling.

I had told myself I wouldn’t gamble again, and then all of a sudden I broke my promise and got sucked in to lose all my money in the space of several hours.

Following that event I cancelled all the fun plans I had that weekend and spent the entire week in bed sobbing and feeling worthless and miserable.

I didn’t speak to anybody and refused to see anyone at all.

Luckily I knew my life would be much better if I was to beat my addiction.

I can safely say I am completely clean of my gambling addiction and I have no desire to ever do it again.

It is coming up to a years anniversary of beating my addiction and I have never been happier as a result.

There are of course different forms of depression and sadly many signs are often ignored.

These are the signs of depression that should never be ignored.

It’s vital to remember that depression is a horrible illness that can be fatal if it’s not treated in the right way!

Every year, depression affects more than 16 million Americans alone.

According to statistics, only 35.3% of Americans who are suffering from depression seek the vital help and guidance they need.

This is a major worry because it is extremely difficult to deal with depression on your own, trust me I know this better than anybody!

So here are 10 signs that should NOT be ignored under any stretch of the imagination;

  1. Always Wanting To Be Alone

There is a difference between enjoying being alone at times and always wanting to be alone. Becoming a recluse particularly if this person is usually a social butterfly is a dangerous sign of depression that should not be ignored.

  1. Issues With Sleeping

Lack of sleep due to overwhelming negative thoughts and replaying horrible or traumatic events are not a good thing for your health and well being in the slightest. A good nights sleep is important for your mind, body and your soul. Lack of sleep due to such a thing on a continual basis is a tell tale sign of depression.

  1. Lack of Energy

Similar to issues with sleeping, having a severe lack of energy is detrimental to your work, your social life and your all round sense of being. Another important sign in particular is if you or the individual has lost interest for something they usually loved or had a lot of passion for.

  1. Acting Restless

Anxious and restless behavior is normally connected to depression and it comes due to the severe lack of rest or recharging. Also heavy caffeine consumption due to the lack of energy can cause this which can have really fatal effects on your body particularly in the long run.

  1. Frequent Silence

If yourself or someone you know is normally a chatterbox, the life of the party or can never shut up suddenly becomes quiet for days or weeks, its a huge red flag they are suffering with depression. I knew somebody who was just like this and the poor guy was so depressed he stopped talking to anybody or anything in over a week. Luckily we got him the help he needed to recover, but had you known him previously you would never suspected he was like that at all.

  1. Bad Habits e.g. Smoking or Drinking Excessively

If someone has only recently started drinking, smoking, gambling or taken on any other really bad habits as of late, then chances are they are suffering with depression. I had a buddy drink almost two bottles of wine to himself on a daily basis. When I discovered this it broke my heart, and I luckily pushed him into the help he needed and he now lives a clean and healthier life thank god.

  1. Feeling Guilty

If for whatever reason you feel inadequate or extremely guilty like you can never do anything right, it is most likely you are suffering from depression. It is normal to feel like you are going through a slump from time to time, but to feel that way about all aspects from your life is NOT healthy.

  1. Lack of Focus

If you are suddenly feeling that you are more forgetful, or are missing deadlines, and your overall life is just a big disorganized mess it could be due to the fact your depression has disorientated you to feel tired and lose control of your overall focus too. It is worrying to see this in people who are usually incredibly organized and usually successful in their planning or how their lives are structured.

  1. Rapid Weight Changes

If a person is suddenly incredibly skinny or overeating they are normally either starving themselves or overeating to deal with the depression they are suffering. This is one of the most physical and obvious signs that the said person is truly going through a very difficult time.

  1. Persistent Suicidal Thoughts

If you experience thoughts of self-harm or suicide, don’t wait to tell someone.

Contact your counselor right away or call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline or the Emergency Services.

A licensed mental health professional will listen and guide you in taking steps to stay safe.

Ask a friend or a family member to stay with you until you can get the help you need.

Likewise, if someone you know is contemplating suicide, don’t stay quiet because you’re afraid of saying the wrong thing.

It’s okay to ask them in a calm, non-judgmental way, “Do you ever feel so bad that you think about suicide?”

This won’t put the idea in their head, but it can prompt them to seek help.

If you learn they are actively planning suicide:

Stay with them or keep them on the phone
Use another line to call Emergency Services
And/or call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline

Self Improvement

Why People Who Like To Be Alone Are Special


There has never been a better time in recent history to enjoy being a loner or spending more time alone more.

Now I am not saying become a recluse, and for those who don’t know what a recluse is let me give you the definition;

“Recluse; a person who lives a solitary life and tends to avoid other people.”

Let me be perfectly clear, loners/introverts/people who like to be alone are NOT recluses.

The reason why being alone is actually a very powerful personality trait is backed by scientific research and extensive social studies.

Remember the key word there people who “like” to be alone.

Those who of course feel lonely or depressed being by themselves is a whole different subject matter.

When I was young I was constantly forced to socialize, and be “a people’s person.”

What does that even mean “people person?”

Let’s see if I can give a fair definition for that too; “a person who enjoys or is particularly good at interacting with others.”

Well that is true to a degree, I am good at interacting with people from all walks of life.

In fact I never belonged to just one group or click in my school or college days.

Yes there were segregated groups, the jocks, the nerds, the hot girls, etc etc.

But the funny thing was I socialized with them all!

I guess the one trait I had above all was my ability like a chameleon to mould myself in a way to communicate well with all different types of people.

However in my late teens and early twenties this made me addicted to socializing.

Sitting at home and just being alone was something I had always feared.

There was a buddy I knew who was a successful, good looking and all round cool guy that I used to go out with often.

Yet what he told me once stuck with me for many years, and he said it when I asked him why he always went out and hardly stayed home alone.

He replied in a very chilling manner “if I stay home, alone with my thoughts, think of all my mistakes then I will curl up into a big ball, cry my eyes out and want to die.”

This had a huge impact on me, in fact I was 19 at the time and I said to myself “under no circumstances do I want to be like this guy!”

So I spent most of my twenties out, always.

Sometimes I would be out for almost 6 days on the trot.

It didn’t matter where I was, I just couldn’t be alone with my thoughts, and I didn’t want to be like that guy.

I feared if I was alone that I’d be missing out, and I’d be depressed or a loser.

I also feared that I would think about all the things that had gone wrong in my life and turn into a complete bloody victim – not pretty.

Naturally as I was getting older I became more and more tired from constantly socializing.

I was out at bars, clubs, people’s houses, shisha cafes, you name it and for most of the week!

And the people I befriended were like me, miserable to be alone, and desperate for any type of company or interaction!

Then Sundays were usually my alone days that I’d spend by myself.

What would I do?

I would curl up into a big ball and start crying or feeling incredibly depressed, just like that other guy.

I would dwell on all the negative things and the stupid mistakes I’d made, and I was just desperate for the week to start again!


I was desperate to start work again so I could take my mind off things and so I can come home shower and be out!

It didn’t matter where I was or where I went, I just wanted to be out and about!

By my late 20s and when I started having serious relationships I slowed down massively.

My addiction to socializing came to an almighty halt, and I realized that most of my past “friendships” were all superficial.

They were all friends who liked to drink, party or smoke more than just be my friend.

I’m not hating on them at all, but friends come and go, and when you start to improve and change yourself you suddenly realize what you need and don’t need.

And the more alone time I spent in a social context, the more I realized “hey this isn’t so bad!”

I started pushing the boundaries even more, to thinks I once found to be sad or lame;

  • I went shopping alone
  • I went out to dinner alone
  • I went out to a bar alone
  • I went out to a cafe alone
  • I worked for myself alone

Guess what?

I survived!

In fact I have become a happier and more peaceful person as a result.

The stigma of being alone making you a bad person and loving your own company deemed as pathetic or sad couldn’t be further from the truth.

And after doing some research I have found that most loners (again people who love their own company) actually possess some very special personality traits.

I wasn’t surprised at all to discover this as I have first-hand experienced this myself and delighted to have done so!

1. Time

Loners value their time so much more because they know what they enjoy and what they don’t. Time is your most precious commodity and the most valuable too. A happy loner knows what is worth pursuing and spending their time on and what definitely isn’t.

2. Self-Awareness

Being self-aware of your actions and behaviour is one of the most powerful traits to self-improvement. Without the noise and disruption of others constantly in my ear and taking on their drama I have managed to beat addictions, make difficult decisions and improve as a human being by being in touch with who I truly am and aware of my flaws and mistakes.

3. Level Headed

Being happy alone allows you to be the most calm and sensible version of yourself. You only have you to disappoint nobody else. You can use this trait in your future or current relationships, because it will help you when those inevitable tough and difficult scenarios manifest in your life.


4. Open Minded

Another false stigma thrown around by people is that loners are just boring stick in the mud’s set in their own ways. I have been to and experienced more things in and out of my relationship because loners like to try and question things. If you constantly listen to the blabber of others telling you “this place is good, or bad” you fail to have time to make your own judgement. Not me, I am always trying to expand my horizons and its made life even better.

5. Boundaries

Loners have the most incredible boundaries because they know what they will and won’t tolerate. A loner doesn’t fear missing out or standing up for themselves because they are happy in their own skin and don’t rely on others or things to make them feel whole as a person.

6. Own Self Critic

A loner is perfectly in touch with their imperfections and their weaknesses, so much so they work hard to improve it. So when someone comes along and calls a loner fat or whatever the loner already knows if they are or not. They don’t need to listen or value what others say as they know their worth.

7. Very Understanding

Loners are the most understanding people and can show incredible empathy to those who are suffering as they themselves normally suffer in silence and on their own, and become stronger and better people as a result. It is incorrect to just call them selfish and in their own world.

8. Trust Their Gut

Loners trust their gut and instinct better than anybody else. They know whether they should or shouldn’t do something and 9 times out of 10 they do it. Answering to yourself who always has your best interest at heart is a pretty powerful trait to possess.

9. Hardly Co-dependent

One of the most attractive qualities to have in a relationship is the ability to give and have your own space. All my previous relationships (my exes) loved how I was comfortable to do my own thing, and to a man that is a really powerful trait to possess in maintaining mystery and attraction.

10. Kind & Loving

Loners are some of the kindest and loving people you’d meet. Because they value the brief and rare interactions they have more. They have time to listen and to help more because they are won’t see that person as often. Again another wrong stigma that they are cold or distant people.

11. Brave

Nobody is braver than the person who is willing to walk away from drama, toxicity and face the music alone. Loners are courageous and brave individuals carrying the weight of the world on their shoulders.

12. Self-Lovers

One of the biggest and most regular pieces of advice given by self-help gurus and coaches is “love yourself.” You will never see a person love themselves more than the loner who likes to be alone. In a world full of trials and tribulations possessing an abundance of self-love and acceptance is an truly amazing personality trait.

So that is why my loner friends out there you are very special indeed!

Business & Finance Self Improvement

How To Become Rich


In this video I discuss the difference between poor and rich mentalities.

Many self-help gurus promise you the world when it comes to financial abundance:

“Do this to become rich!”

“Make money like this!”

“Apply this strategy to become rich!”

Everyone on the planet is constantly looking for different get rich quick schemes in order to hit the jackpot and become financially free!

However did you actually know that, there is a way to think and grow rich!

Yes the famous book “Think and Grow Rich,” by Napoleon Hill is a timeless classic on that very subject.

It emphasises that through the power of the law of attraction you can actually attract wealth into your life.

I applied the very same metrics and can safely say the principles DO work, and can be simply mind-blowing!

For me, a large part of attracting wealth delves down to mentality.

This can be applied pretty much all walks of life, in the sense that if you believe that you are going to achieve something with all your might, it will happen.

Bob Proctor who is a leading speaker on the subject of making money come to you in abundance actually believes the following regarding money:

“Money is only used for two things.

One, it’s to make you comfortable, and the more comfortable you are the more creative you will become.

And the other purpose is it enables you to extend the service you provide far beyond your own presence.”

Believe it or not, you may be doing things without realizing it and that is effecting your wealth and financial success.


The person who sits on their ass expecting money to fall in their lap, may succeed to a degree.

They may get lucky with the lottery, or an inheritance out of nowhere.

But the people who truly think like the wealthy and successful, can and will attract amazing things into their life almost instantly.

Thinking in a poor mentality, and in the place of lack, will attract more negativity and more frequent awful outcomes into your life.

So there are fundamental and vital differences between a poor and a rich way of thinking.

If you truly wish to become rich, I suggest you change your mentality ASAP!

Here are 7 different reasons between poor and rich mentalities:

1. Poor people watch TV – Rich people read books

The old advice “reading broadens your mind,” is so true.

Expanding your knowledge, beyond the niche or subjects you wish to research is how the rich become the top 1% of society.

The poor however, binge on Netflix and hardly expand their thinking.

They are too lazy to pick up a book and improve their brain power.

With more blood pumping and a brain at full capacity, you will have ideas flowing to you from the great beyond to become rich!

Remember all it ever takes to be successful is one really good idea.

2. Poor people get paid based on time – Rich people get paid based on results

When I worked in a boring admin office job, all my co-workers were clocking in and out, waiting for 5pm and praying for the weekend to come ASAP!

They hated their jobs, lacked ambition, and ultimately put in a half arsed job to bring home a mediocre salary.

Whereas the rich get paid on the hard work they do in creating products, selling, providing services, and meeting their own deadlines.

There is no time off for the rich or the entrepreneur.

They work all hours to reach their targets, and goals because the sky is truly the limit.

However the poor, their limit is 5pm, Monday to Friday.

3. Poor people blame others for their misfortunes – Rich people take responsibility for our own failures

It is very easy to blame the government, the weather, the traffic, your boss, your spouse for all the reasons why you didn’t achieve your goals or are not financially free.

This is a very common trait amongst poor unambitious people.

However, the rich take responsibility for everything – especially their losses.

So when it goes south for them, yes they are hurt, but they knew that either it was not meant to be, OR that they didn’t properly do the work.

The rich do not let their setbacks or failures stop them, they pick themselves up and go again.

The poor give up, have a moan, and switch on the TV to watch more Netflix to pass the time.


4. Poor people focus on saving – Rich people focus on investing

How many people do you know live for today? – Almost everybody.

And whilst they are having fancy holidays and driving fast cars now, it will slowly catch up with them.

And on top of that, the poor save and save to no avail.

When a poor person retires with £100,000 in their bank, they are happy.

But also, they don’t take into account inflation and how their savings will barely last them a couple of years after retiring from their boring office job, or getting made redundant.

The rich however, invest early on.

They see the future and spread their risk by investing in real estate, shares, or businesses.

And when it comes for them to retire, they are sitting on far more in the bank, with passive income coming in from all their investments!

5. Poor people think they know it all – Rich people continuously learn

This is relatively similar to number one, where poor people do not expand their learning.

Poor people arrogantly talk as if they are experts, and they know everything regarding a subject, when they actually don’t know nothing.

Whereas rich people act like a sponge, and absorb everything.

They learn from their failures, and other peoples too.

The greatest teacher to a rich person is not success, but actually failure.

6. Poor people believe that money is the root of all evil – Rich people believe that poverty is the root of all evil

Bill Gates said: “If you are born poor it’s not your mistake, but if you die poor it’s your mistake.”

Despite some people being born with a silver spoon in their mouth, poor people have just as much an opportunity to turn their life around and become financially independent.

The problem is they have been brainwashed to believe that making money is evil!

Yet the rich believe not making money, and living in poverty is more evil.

There is nothing evil about money, never has been nor will be.

7. Poor people have a lottery mentality – Rich people have an action mentality

Poor people think the only way they will ever become financially free is by winning the lottery or the jackpot at a casino.

Rich people have the mentality of action.

Rich people know that life is actually a lottery, and they have already won it.

The rich use the time they have to take action and they set out their actions to pay off or reward them financially.

Which mentality do you wish to have to become financially independent?

The answer is down to You!