How Do You Stop Being a Nice Guy?
This post is about how do you stop being a nice guy.
There are 5 important things you must stop doing that are keeping you a nice guy, so you can become a better man overall.
What are the traits of a nice guy?
He puts other people’s feelings before him
Is willing to wait his turn
Is usually very shy and reserved
Wants a reward for being nice
Always replies straight away
Revolves his life around a woman
His happiness depends on how she is feeling
Is upset when the world deals him a bad hand
Says one thing, does another
Consumes a lot of media
Has no desire to improve himself
Cannot take criticism
Believes dating is like a Disney fairy-tale
Buys expensive gifts he cannot afford
Is a self-imposed taxi driver
Willing to stay in the friendzone
Do you identify with any of these traits?
Chances are you are a nice guy, and perhaps hopefully you have just about had enough of being told you are one.
I must stress however there is a big difference between being a GOOD guy and a NICE guy.
A good man is a guy who lives a virtuous life, but he also stands up for himself.
A nice guy lives a sneaky life and gets walked all over from everybody he knows.
I remember when I had traits of a nice guy, and it took me almost an entire year to get rid of them from my personality.
This will not be no overnight fix my friend.
No longer being a nice guy does not mean becoming an asshole or swallowing the red pill or going your own way.
It is about removing traits that are sabotaging your success, and happiness.
Here are 5 ways for you to stop being a nice guy:
#1 – Take More Risks
If you do what is easy your life will be hard, however if you do what is hard your life will become easier.
Rarely will you ever see a nice guy take a risk:
They don’t ask for a promotion in their work
They never ask a woman out
They never ask for a better deal
They never confront their fears
Instead the nice guy lives almost like he is in a bubble, away from all his fears and problems and goes about as if everything is fine.
It really is not fine.
The nice guy is full of dread, guilt, shame and one thing that haunts him until his dying day, he is completely full of regret.
The regret for not doing that business idea, asking that girl out who gave him all the obvious signs, not investing his money wisely.
The nice guy is a victim of his own circumstances.
He finds himself either divorced to a wife who has lost respect to him or alone in an apartment eating ready meals whilst watching a romantic comedy on Netflix utterly cursing the world for the “bad hand life had dealt him.”
How much better would his life had been if he did take the risks?
I am not suggesting he has to jump out of a plane to feel alive, but it wouldn’t kill him to live a little now would it?
He won’t because he has already made it up in his mind that it is too scary or risky, and he is perfectly comfortable where he is.
He arrogantly believes that he does not NEED to take risks.
Wrong, if you want to stop being a nice guy you are going to have to not take risks but take more risks than you ever have in your entire life.
Here are some risks you need to take to stop being a nice guy:
Ask a bunch of women out and go on a lot of dates
Review your career and ask for a promotion
Start a business
Invest your money
#2 – Stand Up for Yourself!
Nice guys are doormats, and what do people do with doormats?
Yep you guessed it, they walk ALL over them!
I have said this a lot in many of my posts:
“If you give a person an inch, they will take a mile.”
Basically, meaning if they know they can get away with it, MOST people whether good or bad will take advantage of somebody, especially if they know they can get away with it.
Nice guys are non-threatening, non-confrontational, lack confidence and the self-esteem to believe they can stand up for themselves.
They get abused by:
Women who friendzone them
Family and close friends
For the life of me, I cannot understand how any person can live their life like this?!
The nice guy works overtime because he cannot say no, meanwhile for no extra pay.
The nice guy must pretend to be friends with a woman he loves and offer advice whilst she goes on a string of dates with other men.
The nice guy must put up with bullying from friends just so he can have a social life.
The nice guy must deal with mental abuse from family members who ridicule and take advantage of him.
The nice guy must go to work in an office with people who have absolutely no respect for him at all.
WHY DOES THE NICE GUY DO THIS?
It is quite simple because he allows it too!
If you are reading this and are most likely a nice guy, STAND UP FOR YOURSELF!
Learn to say no!
Learn to not be abused!
Learn to be willing to walk away!
Learn to believe in yourself!
Learn to have some self-respect!
Stop waiting and expecting somebody to fight your battles for you, because you will waste your entire life doing so.
#3 – Stop Manipulating People
A nice guy I know pretended to be friends with a girl for almost three whole years just so he could get into her pants.
And by the way she had a boyfriend the whole time!
He convinced her he was only a friend nothing more:
He drove her everywhere
He offered her advice on her boyfriend
He was her emotional rock
He loaned her money
And then one day much to this nice guy’s delight that her relationship was ending abruptly, he swooped in for a kiss and told her the following:
“I love you; I always did, I want us to be together, I am so glad you have broken up with him, this is the best day of my life!”
How do you think she reacted?!
She pushed him away and said, “I thought you were my friend, I do not like you in a romantic sense, I cannot believe you lead me to believe otherwise!”
And she stormed off and went straight back into the arms of her ex, who she ended up marrying a few years later.
What happened to this nice guy?
He repeated the pattern over and over with other women.
Pretending to be their friends whether they were taken or single!
He wanted to come across as non-threatening as possible!
If you want to truly stop being a nice guy, you need to stop these pathetic manipulation games that you might be playing.
There is no purpose living a fake and deceitful life.
The nice guy almost like a narcissist puts on a façade that he is this sweet, innocent, harmless character.
When he is trying in a very conniving and deceitful way to convince a woman to go to bed with him or start dating him.
Luckily, women are much smarter than men in this case and will totally friendzone him from the very first encounter.
Stop these games and be truthful:
Express how you feel do not hide it
Be willing to face rejection
Stop acting entitled, nobody or the world owes you anything
#4 – Develop Authentic Confidence
There is a fundamental difference between arrogance and confidence.
Let me first start by defining the two terms.
Arrogance = having or revealing an exaggerated sense of one’s own importance or abilities.
Confidence = the feeling or belief that one can have faith in or rely on someone or something.
The big mistake nice guys make is faking their confidence and it comes across as arrogant.
This is especially evident when it comes to him trying to date a woman.
The nice guy will talk louder, where outlandish clothing, give off a huge vibe he is the best there is, and he is better than everybody else.
But when it comes to making a move, he physically melts.
When it comes to putting his action into practice, he halts.
When it comes to doing what he promises, he crumbles.
He runs his mouth to the world and has nothing to back it up.
Whereas developing authentic real and genuine confidence is not only more attractive but a better way to live too.
Here are some traits of authentic confidence:
Possess a good level of self-worth.
Knows to apologize when he’s wrong
Is not afraid to fail
Is willing to walk away
Is willing to walk alone
Stands up for what he believes in
Possesses Power, Presence and Warmth
Stands up straight with his shoulders back
Owns his sexuality
Takes the lead
Takes responsibility for his actions and doesn’t blame others
Doesn’t take advantage or prey on those weaker than him
Doesn’t have to brag or boast to feel important
#5 – Stop Fearing Rejection
The good and confident man takes the loss on the chin.
Whereas the nice guy is absolutely mortified at the thought of rejection of any kind!
As Rocky Balboa famously said,“it ain’t about how hard you get hit, it is about how hard you get hit and KEEP moving forward. How much you can take!”
The nice guy is afraid to ask the woman out and her say no, because his ego and his pampered lifestyle cannot handle such a thing.
Therefore, he avoids rejection in his life and goes to manipulate her and others around him to convince himself this is the better approach.
Only to have a delayed taste of rejection months or even years later.
Get over your fear of rejection ASAP to stop being a nice guy!
Here are some excellent things to remember to overcome your rejection fears:
Everybody gets rejected in some way in life
Go outside of your comfort zone
Take small risks daily
Remind yourself of your achievements
Become more emotionally intelligent
Remind yourself of your self-worth
Keep moving forward!
Remember, nice guys finish last, always.
How to Walk Alone with Confidence
This post is about how to walk alone with confidence.
Walking alone and with confidence is not easy, and I have 5 simple things you must understand if you wish to do this successfully.
Walking alone is never easy in life:
Whether you are walking away from your job
Walking away from your career
Walking away from your relationship
Walking away from your friends
Walking away from your marriage
Walking away from your home
Walking away from your family
I was taught from an incredibly young age that if something or somebody is not good enough for you or is causing you harm, the best thing to do is not fight back, but to walk away.
In fact, my grandfather was the one who taught me this very lesson, he said:
“Walk away from whatever is not good for you.”
Why do people not do this more often?
Why do people stay in toxic relationships?
Why do people tolerate abuse and bullying?
Why do people stay in their comfort zones?
Because it is exactly that, they choose comfort, familiarity, and everything they already know, rather than the unknown.
The fear of the unknown is what keeps people in jobs they hate, cities they despise, and relationships with people they no longer love.
Most people lack the confidence and the curiosity to realize they deserve better.
The average person will stay in a relationship, job, or tolerate the abuse of other people because they genuinely believe there is no other solution.
I am dead serious about this!
They have convinced themselves this is it for their lives, and it is better to just accept it rather than take the risk and see what is out there for them.
I have successfully walked away from jobs, family, friends, and toxic relationships and I am here to assure you and promise you that better is out there.
YES, the grass is greener!
YES, you can and will achieve better!
I will teach you how to walk alone with confidence too in these five simple steps:
#1 – Accept the Seasons of Life
When you decide to walk alone whether from a relationship or just for a sustained period, understand that you are now entering into a new season of life.
What do I mean by season of life?
Like the summer and winter, we have seasons of the year, and in terms of your life this will now be the season of walking alone.
Please note this is NOT the season of LONELINESS.
This is the season of walking alone.
There is a particularly good possibility you are reading this post because just like how I once felt too you are utterly fed up with your current situation.
You have most likely consumed a great deal of content or are just starting out on what to do and how to think when it is time to make that big decision and walk alone.
But most likely you are going through the following emotions:
What I am trying to get you to do is now to prepare yourself for the season of walking alone.
Your phone will not ring as much.
Your social life may take a hit.
You may cry.
You may feel vulnerable.
You may feel very emotional.
But rest assured and trust me on this that this is only temporary, aka this is a season of walking alone, not a lifetime unless of course that is what you want it to be.
I would highly recommend doing a pros and cons or writing a list of the reasons why you are considering walking alone.
Do not share this private information with anybody!
When I was on the verge of leaving my ex-narcissist girlfriend, I made a long list of all the reasons why I did what I did.
People have TRULY short memories and can often forget why they walk away or alone.
And sure enough that moment when I was alone and considering going back I would read that list and remind myself why I chose to walk away.
Make sure you do the same thing, and remember this season is only temporary.
#2 – Re-evaluation
When we are overwhelmed with negative thoughts, experiences, and people we can find it extremely hard to think straight at all.
And if you are not thinking straight guess what will happen?
You will make more mistakes
Do things you regret
Go spiralling out of control
Get yourself into an almighty mess
When I was with a toxic partner, I had no idea what I was doing, in fact looking back I felt like I was on complete auto pilot in my life.
In fact, I remember trying to get things done at work but feeling this overwhelming weight on my shoulders weighing me down constantly.
I could not concentrate or focus, and my work life and career took a big hit.
If you are ambitious and want to live a fulfilling life you cannot afford to have such a personal burden going on constantly in the back of your mind.
That is why when you walk alone to do it confidently you need to start revaluating and thinking very clearly.
Ask yourself the following questions:
Why are you walking away?
When are you walking away?
Why are you never going back?
What have you learnt?
What steps are you taking to ensure this does not happen again?
What future do you see for yourself?
What can you do to make yourself happy?
It is so important you take this very seriously; this is your life we are talking about here.
This can apply to your career, social life, your marriage, relationships, it does not matter.
Walking alone will allow you to have a breather and take a step back from it all.
If you are constantly being bombarded by others and worse being abused how on earth are you going to think clearly about your situation?
Answer = you will not.
I remember sitting at a coffee shop after walking away from some toxic friends who were really bringing me down several years ago.
And I said to myself “my god, these people never cared about me as their friend, they just wanted an excuse to go out and get drunk every night.”
#3 – Regain Self-Respect
Walking alone and walking away with confidence go hand in hand in the redevelopment of your self-esteem and of course your self-respect.
What exactly does it take to have self-respect?
These days I see it all the time that people will tolerate almost any form of toxic behaviour because they are afraid of confrontation or do not know how to handle it.
Does that sound like you?
Do you avoid conflict?
Are you afraid to stand up for yourself?
Do you tolerate negative behaviour?
Sadly, in modern times this is what most people do.
Young people think just ignoring somebody over text aka ghosting by not replying is the perfect way to make somebody they dislike go away.
Whilst that may work on some people you cannot ghost your friends, your job or spouse in real life, so you need to grow up if you think that is your solution to every problem.
You cannot close your eyes and cross your fingers hoping your problems will go away without doing something about it.
It takes courage and strength to walk away.
It takes confidence to walk away.
It takes self-respect to walk away.
By not walking away and allowing whatever your scenario is to fester and multiply, you are no longer treating yourself with self-respect.
And as I have said time and time again in my content:
“If you give somebody an inch, they will take a mile.”
If you naively think that people will not take advantage of you, or “nobody would ever do that to me,” then you need to really grow up and realise the truth.
The world is not all sunshine and rainbows, it is a very mean and nasty place, and no matter how tough you think you are it will BEAT you to your knees if you let it.
And there is some manipulative, nasty and evil people out in the world, and if you let them into your lives, be ready to see your world implode.
A person who has self-respect recognizes what is and what is unacceptable.
Aka, they develop and maintain healthy boundaries.
And once those boundaries or a metaphorical line has been crossed, they walk away.
If nobody else tells you I will, have some respect for yourself!
By walking alone, you will start to respect yourself more realizing you will not take any crap thrown your way, and its YOUR way or the HIGHWAY!
#4 – Standards and Boundaries
Walking alone will give you the confidence to have standards and healthy boundaries.
What does it mean to have a healthy boundary?
Based on my own personal experience I believe having boundaries is having the mental strength and resilience to protect yourself from abuse of any type.
Abuse can take many forms:
Having a healthy boundary is the ability to say no, to walk away and ultimately have the right amount of self-respect to no longer tolerate such toxic and abusive behaviour.
Think of yourself as a parent, and that toxic person or people as your child.
You can either sit there and let them get away with murder, OR tell them you will no longer allow or tolerate it any longer, and if it continues walk away and find yourself better and healthier people to associate yourself with.
I often use the analogy of having no boundaries at all is like opening the door to your house and telling everybody to come in and do whatever they want!
What do you think will happen to your home?
Your Valuables will be damaged
Your Valuables will be destroyed
Your Valuables will be stolen
So why are you therefore allowing the world to do this to your emotions, your soul and overall wellbeing?
When we let narcissists into our lives and tolerate them, it is no different to our home valuables and collectibles being destroyed.
Luckily for me I learnt from an early age that when somebody or a group of people cross that line and do what I would never do to them I walk away and never return.
If you are unsure how to set standards and boundaries, I will give you a simple exercise for you to carry out alone:
Make a list of all the things you are willing to tolerate from people, and then all the dealbreakers aka stealing, lying, bullying etc.
And make sure you know this list off by heart, so you know certain behaviours to look out for and to avoid in the future.
#5 – Associate with People Who Want the Best for You
By this point if you are ready to walk alone with confidence the final piece of the jigsaw is to start slowly reintroducing people and things back into your life.
You would have most likely:
Accepted the season of being alone
Regained your self-respect
Developed healthy boundaries
The final stage after you have done the healing, rediscovered yourself and followed all the steps I have suggested you are ready to come out of that season of walking alone.
Do not get me wrong some people wish to walk alone and be lone wolfs for the rest of their lives, and there is nothing wrong with that at all.
But say you want to date again, say you want to make new friends, start a new career, travel, or move somewhere?
You are giving yourself a fresh start, and you have hopefully done the mental work to rebuilding yourself up from beforehand.
That is why you must now associate with good healthy people.
Make friends with people who want the best for you.
Hopefully, you now know what toxic; evil and manipulative people are like as you have noticed familiar patterns in others that you meet.
Or even people you already know.
Use your experience and knowledge to avoid them like the plague and instead go out into the world looking for what you deserve which is better.
But walk with confidence doing so, knowing that the best is yet to come.
I genuinely believe that, if you follow all these steps you will be on your way to a better overall life my friend.
How to Learn How to Think
This post is about how to learn how to think.
I will reveal five essential steps for you to learn how to think better in your life.
Thinking is something we do naturally, but how effectively are we doing so?
How do we know we are thinking correctly?
How are we sure we are thinking in a way that will benefit our lives?
How are we thinking at all?
The problem most people have is that they are unsure as to how they come to a way of thinking throughout their lives.
Usually the thought process on everything from how to commute to your job to deciding what to eat for your lunch is usually formed by habit.
A woman I know used to sit in two hours of traffic to get to work every day for almost ten years, because she was just “used to it.”
I suggested that she learn how to use a sat nav, to which she replied, “no thanks that is too complicated, I won’t change how I drive to work.”
Her stubbornness and refusal meant she could get to work in just 20 minutes.
Instead she chooses to sit in traffic every single day, and waste 4 hours of her life in traffic.
But I was not any better!
For years I did not know how think when I was dealt with constructive criticism.
I took it personally and used to sulk like a baby.
But then I realized that perhaps the person who I respected was offering me something constructive to help me become better.
And I started listening more, which was another flaw I had.
I never used to be able to truly listen to people, and therefore when people told me something, I would switch off and my mind would go elsewhere.
The purpose of this post is to inspire you to learn how to think better, and the exact steps I took over the last year or so.
By learning how to think you can be:
Here are 5 ways to help you learn how to think better:
#1 – Analyse Your Scenario
One of the greatest thinkers I knew was my late father, who would be able to analyse a person or a situation in just minutes, he was a natural at this.
He was one of the best problem solvers too.
He would sit down and genuinely quiet his surroundings and his mind to think about whatever life or situation he was dealt with.
Would you like to learn how to do this too?
My father taught me to analyse a situation in several steps which I will highlight below.
Say you are on the verge of losing your job, and you have no idea how to deal with the uncertainty and pressure as an example:
Highlight the scenario – you are replaceable, as are all employees regardless of your performance, loyalty, and relationship with your peers. Therefore, you must come to terms with the likely fact you may be losing your job.
What can you do – if I lose my job, I will have to look for an alternative. So, I must start preparing myself for that situation. However, there is a possibility that may not happen, so I will continue to do my absolute best. I will hope for the best but plan for the worst.
Develop scenarios – I will have jobs lined up potentially if I lose my current one. I also need to start saving money in the likely scenario I am unemployed for a while. I may have to move to a smaller place, reduce my rent, and overall costs.
Be prepared – I have looked at all potential outcomes regarding my situation and am as prepared as I can be for what will come. I have plans for the best case and worst-case scenarios in detail.
The above situation happened to one of my best friends!
There were rumours that his company were going to let people go and he was rumoured to be the first one out of the door.
So, my father taught him how to think and analyse his scenario.
Sure enough he started putting his name out to other companies, and this actually got back to his boss which surprised him.
And my friend got called in to talk with his boss who ended up offering him a raise!
He said to my friend “I want you to manage a few more teams and start taking some stock options, you are a valuable member of the company!”
What a change from almost being kicked out right?
How do you approach a scenario?
How do you think when the stress is overwhelming?
How logical is your thinking when there is no logic in your situation?
Start learning to analyse your situations just like my father taught me.
Life has a funny way of not going the way we planned it, for better and for worse.
#2 – Outside Thinking
Have you ever heard the following saying?
“You never really know a person until you have walked a thousand miles in their shoes.”
What does that quote mean?
It is simple really, it means you need to start imagining your life from somebody else’s perspective, aka outside thinking.
So many times, people are so over indulged in their own behaviour.
Their own drama.
Their own problems.
Their own lives.
Their own scenarios.
That we forget that we can learn more and think more effectively if we took a step outside of ourselves and our personal bubbles we create and try to see the bigger picture.
What a better world it would be to start seeing things from another point of view.
I have fallen trap to that, and have had the wrong impression of somebody, when I then hear their story of all the tragedy and trials life has thrown their way.
And yet they sat opposite me smiling, laughing, showing more bravery than most people.
The great thinkers are normally very empathetic.
That means they can truly empathize with other people’s scenarios and emotions.
I learnt a lesson from a genuinely great man who became a self-made millionaire despite being from an extremely poor household, dyslexic and never finishing school.
He was always ridiculed and insulted for how he struggled to speak, read, and write.
Yet he has amassed a fortune more than all those who criticised him combined.
And the important lesson he taught me was quite simple.
Whenever people used to insult or ridicule him, he would take a step back and use outside thinking of these individuals and say to himself:
“Wow, for somebody to say such a hurtful and awful thing must live an extremely unhappy and miserable life. I feel sorry for them.”
This man would have sympathy for his haters!
What a tremendous amount of character to display, to show sympathy and feel sorry for those who ridiculed him rather than take it personally.
He was right though, they were miserable, jealous, and envious of him.
But he had to imagine himself in their shoes and use outside thinking to come to that conclusion, which was very profound.
Try to think outside of yourself and try to see the bigger picture.
#3 – Notice Emotions & Triggers
When I used to date a narcissist, I would notice something remarkably interesting happen to me which formed a pattern in my behaviour:
I was frequently becoming emotionally triggered.
Meaning I would respond in a negative emotional manner to the manipulation and mind games the narcissist would play with me:
I would shout
I would cry
I would scream
I would feel insecure
I would react negatively
Narcissists usually treat their victims like this, and if you have suffered from narcissistic abuse like myself you are awfully familiar with what I am telling you.
But it was the emotional reactions that got me fascinated in my way of thinking.
Why did I act emotionally?
What were the triggers I was reacting to and not responding to?
If you want to learn how to think more effectively, you need to start noticing your emotions more and the scenarios, situations and people that trigger you.
For example, when I was set to go meet a certain group of people, I would feel the following emotions in my body:
Whereas if I were meeting people who I did not have a fondness of, I would feel the following:
You need to start realizing what your body is telling you, often your emotions are signals that some people or things feel right, and some feel awful.
I am not saying never do anything that makes you uncomfortable but start noticing your emotional triggers more.
And then start noticing the patterns that occur with these emotions too.
#4 – Visualize the Outcome
It pains me to discover just how little people use their imaginations.
You do not need to be a creative person or have an art degree to realize you were born with a mind to visualize and an imagination to tap into for FREE!
If you are currently dealt with a scenario and you do not see a way out, you are not looking at the bigger picture.
There is always a solution, there is always a positive to every single scenario.
So why not use your imagination to visualize the outcome you desire?
When you see no light at the end of the tunnel and feel utterly hopeless what do you think happens to your thinking?
It becomes clouded.
It becomes foggy.
You make more mistakes.
You cannot think straight at all.
You increase your stress.
Whereas if you visualize the scenario or outcome you have hopefully concluded in your mind you will immediately think better and more effectively.
I will use the example of when I was dating a narcissist, I felt trapped, I was miserable, I could not see the light at the end of the tunnel at all.
So, once I concluded saying to myself “I must walk away and go no contact,” I visualized that exact outcome.
The outcome I saw in my mind was me sitting in the garden drinking a nice cold beer on a warm summers evening with no more drama and stress caused by the narcissist.
Sure enough exactly a year later I had that very moment, I sat outside and noticed that I no longer had the arguments, the drama, the stress, the manipulation anymore.
I felt freedom, and it tasted oh so sweet.
Visualize your outcome in your mind after deciding how to deal with a scenario:
Is it a new job?
Is it a new spouse?
Is it a new place to live?
Is it a new car?
Is it a new business?
Is it walking away from a toxic person?
Is it becoming debt free?
Is it recovering from a health issue?
#5 – Trust Your Instinct & Be Decisive
One of my closest friends is one of the leading surgeons in his field.
We have known each other for years and I remember once moaning to him about something trivial like I did not know what I wanted to eat for supper.
And my surgeon friend looked at me with all seriousness and said, “don’t ever act like that again, in life be like the surgeon, BE DECISIVE!”
He then told me how his job is literally life or death, and of course being indecisive is not the right approach for his line of work:
“I have had patients die in my arms, and patients live.
But I regret nothing because I did my best and was as decisive as I could be.”
Most people when they are unsure about a situation from going out to eat to what job they should get, go and ask everybody they can for their advice.
Too many cooks spoil the soup.
Aka too many people have too many opinions, ways of approaching life, and philosophies.
You must learn to trust your instinct and be more decisive.
If you asked yourself the important questions, thought outside of the box, noticed your emotional triggers, and visualized your ideal outcome the very last step is for you to trust your instinct and go for it.
Being indecisive will get you nowhere, especially in your aim to think more effectively.
There is no more miserable human being than one who just cannot decide on anything at all in their lives.
Why You Must Avoid Fake People
This post is about why you must avoid fake people.
There are 5 important and life changing reasons as to why you must avoid and walk away from the fake people that are in your life.
How can we define the characteristics of a “fake person?”
There are many definitions of fake people:
People who are very shallow
People who are very superficial
People who are self-obsessed
People who are narcissistic
People who are constantly lying
People who keep up appearances
People who love to show off
People who use and manipulate
People who are hypocritical
According to google the official definition of a fake person is as follows:
“A person who falsely claims to be, feel, or do something can be said to be fake. When your friend acts sweet but spreads rumours about you behind your back, you can call her a fake.”
There are many strands of fake people as I listed above but a fake person can be almost anybody in your life too:
It can be a close friend
It can be a family member
It can be a co-worker
It can be a romantic partner
So why avoid them?
Why walk away from them?
Why cut a fake person out of your life?
It is simple really, because I learnt this an awfully long time ago from one of my mentors, who warned me about the type of people to associate and the types to disassociate with.
He mentioned to me the following, “if you surround yourself with fake people, you will become fake too, and pretty soon you will be living a fake life.”
That statement had a profound effect on me, I did not want a fake life, I mean seriously who does want a fake anything?!
It is like the people who buy fake jewellery or fake handbags, they want to give off the impression they are wealthy, for the approval of people who are shallow and insecure.
If you want to live a hugely successful and happy life, you need to avoid fake people and here are five reasons why:
#1 – Fake People Enjoy You Suffering
Are you going through a difficult time?
Are you finding life incredibly challenging?
Are you stuck in a rut and see no light at the end of the tunnel?
I have got really bad news for you my friend, fake people will thoroughly enjoy that.
Yes, these sickos will take pleasure in your pain.
Are you familiar with the term schadenfreude?
Originally a German phrase, schadenfreude is the pleasure derived by someone from another person’s misfortune.
A fake person will enjoy that you are suffering, depressed, grieving, losing, feeling unwell, and all other painful emotions.
Why would anybody take actual pleasure in somebody else’s misfortunes, especially if they are a friend or a family member?
Because it makes them feel better about themselves.
A fake person will constantly be at competition with everybody and anybody they surround themselves with.
They will in their minds regardless of who it is, be drawing comparisons, on every aspect of their lives.
From relationships, to wealth, to even health, the fake person will always be looking to see who is doing better than them.
And if anybody has any success it hurts them mentally, to the point where they may not even function, they are that green with envy.
But when somebody loses their job, gets sick, or gets dumped, the fake person is there smiling at their misfortune.
They rationalize it in their head, “I am so glad that they lost their job and are losing their money, because that is making me feel better about my situation.”
Sometimes a fake person may have more wealth, health, and relationships than somebody else, and yet they still take pleasure in other people’s pain and misfortune.
Because again in their mind they want everybody else to remain “below them.”
Why would you want to associate with somebody who wants to see you suffer?
Why would you want to reveal your suffering to somebody who wants to see you fail?
Why would you want to trust somebody who loves the fact you are hurting?
Why would you want to surround yourself with those who thrive that you are in pain?
#2 – They Will Use You
Fake people will most likely only associate with you or want to talk to you because in simple terms they are using you for their own benefit.
The biggest users are the biggest abusers.
They are abusive of your emotions.
They are abusive of your energy.
They are abusive of your time.
They are abusive of your family.
They are abusive of your wallet.
They are abusive of your lives.
A fake person will use you to get whatever it is they want out of you, and without realizing it because you are most likely a good empathetic person you allow it to happen.
Here are some examples of how they will take advantage of you aka use you:
They will shame you
They will manipulate you
They will play the victim
They will bully you
They will tease you
They will call you only when they need something
They will only see you when they have nothing else to do
They will leave you out of things often
They will lie to you all the time
They will speak poorly of you
They will disappear from you when you need them
I had a friend who did all these things, but why did I associate with him?
Why did I tolerate that much abuse and manipulation?
Because I simply had no healthy boundaries and lacked the confidence to stand up for myself and realize that I truly deserved better than I was getting.
I was also extremely naïve, not a good thing to be in this wicked world.
Fake People will use other people like a toy.
They will play with you until they are bored with you and chuck you aside like you are yesterday’s newspaper.
I am sorry to say fake people will treat you like trash.
You are better than that, regardless of what anybody says about you.
#3 – They Will Control Your Life
Have you ever got the feeling that you are having your life almost dictated to you by somebody else?
Or the feeling like you want to do something, but you cannot?
Or perhaps you are treading on eggshells and not truly expressing how you feel about a situation or a person?
It is most likely because you are dealing with a fake person or fake people.
Fake people will not only take pleasure in your suffering, and use you, but they will attempt to control your life.
Without realizing it, you are suddenly at their burden.
If they call you go running.
If they need you, you are there.
If they want you to do something, you do it.
Suddenly your entire life revolves around them, yes you believe that your life is genuinely better with them in it, or worse you feel you cannot live without them.
What suffers as a result at being controlled by a fake person?
Your social life
Your core beliefs
Your life overall
Because you are too busy seeking the validation and admiration of a selfish fake person or a fake group, you find yourself in a dangerous trap.
And that trap is the never-ending loop of trying to please the unpleasable.
Nothing you say, nothing you do no matter how grand or generous a gesture is good enough for them.
And that is no fault of your own, it is because fake people are largely very spoilt and extremely entitled people.
Therefore, you have allowed them to control the one thing you have that they don’t, your life.
You believe and have been brainwashed to believe that as well being in their presence is good enough, and that excites you.
Eliminate their control, nobody ESPECIALLY a fake person has any right to control your life or have your life dictated to.
You are the master of your fate, the captain of your destiny.
#4 – They Are Hypocrites
Nobody is more of a hypocrite than a fake person.
What is a hypocrite?
A hypocrite is a person who pretends to have virtues, moral or religious beliefs, principles, etc.
In quite simple and logical terms, if a person is fake, then their lives are fake.
Think of the person who must buy a fake piece of jewellery because they want to give off the impression, they are wealthy.
They are “cheating” to show and brag to gain the attention of other superficial and shallow people that they are successful.
They hate the fact that a shallow person has spent thousands on a Rolex, yet they too have bought a fake Rolex just to fit in with them.
That is hypocritical.
Here are examples of how fake people are hypocrites:
They say one thing and do the opposite
They never follow their own advice but give it out to everybody else
Live one way publicly, but the opposite in private
They insist looks do not matter but are utterly obsessed with their self-image
They are blasting people on social media yet are annoyed they are not getting enough attention themselves
Pretend to be wealthy but have mountains of debt
Give out criticism yet cannot take their own
They will alter their opinion to be liked by other people
They constantly lie and lie
Hypocrites are an enormous waste of time, energy, and money in some cases.
So why would you want to open yourself up to such people?
Why would you trust them?
Why would you believe them?
Because they are extremely convincing, yes fake people will manipulate you so much to believe they are telling the truth.
They will convince you that they are genuine.
They will make you believe that you are the issue and there is nothing wrong.
Remember these traits and look out for them when you next come across a fake person.
#5 – They Are Jealous of You
The final reason to avoid fake people like the plague is that they are extremely jealous of you.
This may be hard to believe if you are currently saying to yourself:
But they are better looking?
More popular than me?
Have more money?
Have more success?
It does not matter, because a fake person regardless of their situation and current lifestyle will ALWAYS somehow and someway find a way to be unhappy.
Yes, fake people are NEVER satisfied.
They always want more, even though they have so much.
They are like spoilt brats.
So, whether you are pursuing a goal, losing weight, driving a better car, or just being happy it will drive these fake people insane.
Because it will be something they do not have.
It will be something they are too insecure to pursue.
Why are you wasting your time with such people?
People who will hate on even your tiny victories or successes?
People who will hate you for who you are in your heart of hearts?
My advice, get away from them, block them, walk away and never return.
Find yourself good light-hearted genuine people who want the best for you.
Remember that “people who want the best for you.”
You do not need a million friends or the admiration of a fake person to live a good and fulfilling life.
You only need to find those who want the best for you, like you do them.
Believe and trust me that they are out there, you just have not met them yet.
How to Grow Up Mentally and Emotionally
This post is about how to grow up mentally and emotionally.
There are 5 fundamental things a person must know to understand how to grow up mentally and emotionally.
Everybody knows the story of Peter Pan, the boy who never grew up and is the king of Never Neverland and the lost boys.
Whilst as a child that sounds like a dream aka being a child for eternity, yet as I have grown up and gotten older, I realized that does not sound like much fun at all.
Being carefree and the king of the lost boys, means in my opinion being king of the losers, the lowlifes, the nothings.
And whilst Hakuna Matata and having no worries is certainly enjoyable, there is more enjoyment and satisfaction in going through a storm and getting to the rainbow than never experiencing life’s trials and tribulations at all.
Maybe I am alone in my thinking, however growing up mentally and especially emotionally is something we all must do.
My father had a saying “you become an adult the minute you turn 18 years old, and with that you are on your own in this world.”
Whilst I agree with my father, I noticed that most people do not ever grow up mentally after a certain age they hit.
For example, I know people well into their sixties who have the emotional or mental age of a bunch of teenagers.
Does that mean that when they were teenagers, they stopped growing up emotionally and mentally?
It is extremely possible.
If you are reading this it is most likely you have been told to either “grow up,” or “start acting your age too.”
But that doesn’t mean stop enjoying the things you did as a child, as that is what makes you the person you are today.
I am still a gamer, I still collect comics, I still enjoy animated movies because that is what makes me the person I am.
Do not stop doing what you love, regardless of what people say it being “immature” etc.
I know people in their sixties who collect and play with Pokémon cards!
So, you are not alone if you do this too.
But this post is different, this post is learning the fundamental steps to take to grow up mentally and emotionally.
To realize that there are some certain steps and important mindset and mental adjustments you must make to grow.
Life without growth is a life not worth living.
#1 – Start Standing Up for Yourself
A good first step to emotional and mental maturity is learning to stand up for yourself.
Most people have relied on friends and family most of their lives to fight their battles for them, and they have never built or had the courage to stand up for what they believe in.
These people go through life having it dictated to them by everybody from their parents, older siblings, friends, teacher, boss, and even their spouse.
That is why you must learn to stand up for yourself, and what you believe in.
It is important to realize the following:
You have your own opinion
You have your own curiosity
You have your own rights
You have your own destiny
You have your own life
Strict families such as in Greek and Asian cultures are the sort where they will always see their children as children.
Regardless of age.
I have a friend who is 42 with two kids and he is a successful Dr, and yet his mother and father still treat him like their “little boy.”
But my Dr friend stood up for himself.
They wanted him in the family business, he said no to become a surgeon.
They wanted him to take part in an arranged marriage, he said no and found his own wife.
They wanted him to move in with them, he said no and bought his own house.
Whilst this may seem like a pretty flat example, my Dr friend didn’t go about this easily.
His parents moaned, cried, and caused many conflicts as they were so “disappointed” that their son was not doing as he was being told.
Yet he went on to do what he wanted, and eventually they came round to accepting his way of life and are at peace.
What do you need to stand up for?
Is there a career you want to pursue?
Is there somewhere you want to live?
Is there a business you want to start?
Go for it and realize that the only person that is going to make it happen is you.
I am not saying fight with your family, but to be mentally mature you must stand up for yourself.
#2 – Learning More
Education does not end at School or College.
You can learn something new right up to your dying day.
And thanks to the internet I have managed to learn how to do the following:
How to write and publish a book
How to start a YouTube Channel
How to leave a Narcissist
How to deal with my emotions
How to train properly at the gym
How to eat a healthy diet
How to save money
How to invest money
How to hold a conversation
How to date a woman
This may come as a shock to you, but YouTube is so much more than funny cat videos and vlogs featuring Logan Paul.
It is an encyclopaedia full of likeminded people who can help you understand and improve yourself as a person.
What is it you always wanted to learn?
What is it you know nothing about?
What is something you want to learn how to do but never knew how?
I just recently discovered a community of watch enthusiasts for small wrists.
All my life I had a small wrist and had no idea how to buy a watch and what to buy etc.
And just this year I purchased the perfect watch for myself and I am smiling as I type this out and look at it sat perfectly on my wrist.
To be emotionally and mentally mature you need to keep learning.
You need to learn how to develop as a person.
You need to learn how to have a good relationship.
You need to learn how to have a successful career.
You need to learn how to start and maintain a business.
You need to learn basic psychology to avoid the wrong type of evil people.
You need to learn how to live a better life.
If you are not willing to learn, nobody can help you. However, if you are determined to learn, then nobody can stop you!
#3 – Responding NOT Reacting
What is the difference between responding and reacting?
Well I can assure you; they are vastly different indeed.
This will tackle your emotional intelligence and maturity.
I will give you a very personal example of when I was dating a narcissist.
My narcissist would be abusive and throw insults at me and belittle me.
If I reacted, I would scream back at her, “SHUT UP I HATE YOU!”
Meanwhile responding would be like this, “I do not condone your behaviour at all, I’m off have a good life.”
Do you see the difference?
Let me use another example: let us say a woman has rejected me for no good reason after a few dates and things were going well.
React: “No! Give me another chance! Why?! What did I do wrong?! Please!”
Respond: “Ok all the best, take care.”
Do you see the difference?
Let me use one more example, a friend has betrayed you and done something awful to you:
React: “How could they?! I am so distraught! I hate them! I swear revenge on them?!”
Respond: “Well clearly they are not the right friend to me, onwards and upwards.”
Do you see the difference?
It is obvious to see an enormous difference between choosing to respond to a situation and choosing to react.
A reaction traditionally is a very emotional, quick, tense, aggressive thing, without much thought or logic behind it at all.
Whereas a response is thought through, calmer, non-aggressive and in YOUR overall best interest too.
I am not suggesting for you to become a Buddhist monk, but when things get untenable or difficult you can always walk away.
You do not need to scream.
You do not need to cry.
You do not need to fight.
You do not need to bring yourself down to another person’s level.
Instead you can have the emotional maturity to realize that this situation is beneath you, and you don’t need to waste your time to it and move on.
Think like a winner, and realize you deserve better and just move on to what you deserve.
#4 – Toxic Habits
Why do kids love candy so much?
Because it tastes so damn good, but also most interestingly of all, it is not so readily available to us.
When I was a kid my mother never let me consume too much candy as she said it was bad for my teeth and too much sugar is not good for you either.
Mother was right.
But when we start getting a bit older and mother isn’t around to see what do we always do?
We do what we want, aka consume as much candy as possible.
This is dangerous because this can transfer to other things in life.
We can become very addicted to toxic habits, and as a former gambling addict myself I knew this all so well.
For years as a kid I saw my grandfather gamble all his money away and I thought to myself “how could he do such a thing?”
And once I became an adult I too was engaged in such activities.
I could not have been more of a hypocrite.
Fortunately, I am clean and sober and remain to be for the rest of my life without a desire to ever gamble ever again.
What has this got to do with mental maturity?
Your parents only want what is best for you, hence why they don’t want you to consume too much candy and sugar.
As the Ancient Greeks used to preach “everything in moderation.”
So, to grow up mentally you have got to be mature enough to realize:
Smoking is bad for me
Gambling is bad for me
Drugs are bad for me
Overeating is bad for me
Drinking too much alcohol is bad for me
Look at Pinocchio, who gets taken to Pleasure Island with all the other boys who want to smoke, gamble, and play all day.
What happens to them?
They all get turned into Donkeys and become slaves for their new master the coachmen.
Do not become a donkey.
Avoid toxic habits to grow up mentally, please trust me on this.
#5 – More Responsibility
Why are things so carefree for you as a child?
Because everything is taken care of for you:
You are chauffeured everywhere
Therefore, for you to truly become more mentally and emotionally mature you must start taking more and more responsibility.
You are responsible for your actions
You are responsible for your emotions
You are responsible for your career
You are responsible for your relationships
You are responsible for where you live
You are responsible for how you look
You are responsible for how you feel
You are responsible for your health
You are responsibly for your money
You are responsible for everything in your life
Once you start viewing your life in this manner instead of blaming the government, your negative relatives, your family, the weather you will immediately grow up.
You will start to understand that acting more responsibly is not only essential for maturity but also for a better overall life.
Remember the following quotes:
Adults are only kids grown up, anyway.
Never mind your happiness; do your duty.
Maturity is not measured by age; it is instead an attitude built on experience.
Why You Need to Block Someone
This post is about why you need to block someone.
There are 5 reasons I have collected on why you need to block somebody on all forms of contact from social media to your phone.
In the day and age of technology, communication could not be easier.
We can contact somebody through social media, WhatsApp, text or even video calling.
Thanks so smart phones people are available to contact no matter which way you prefer to.
However, the problem with that is people can also stalk you, track you easier, and god forbid find ways to hack into your private accounts.
But I was having a conversation with a close friend who asked me the question:
What are the reasons why somebody would block somebody else?
I have blocked a fair amount of people for many different reasons in my life, and I can assure you that I too have been blocked a lot too.
But why did I do it?
Why did they do it to me?
What is the tipping point?
What took me to the point of no return?
What warrants the need to completely go cold turkey and remove somebody from your life?
Blocking somebody whilst may seem harsh is the easiest form of saying no.
By pressing one little button on social media or on our phones, we can almost eliminate all conversation.
Physically through technology there is no way that person can ever contact you again.
They are done, you are done with them, it is completely over.
Sure, some people lead to unblocking others and trying to go back to normal.
Then there is the case of people blocking people so they can just take a break from society when things become difficult or too overwhelming.
There are many reasons why this happens.
But I have thought long and hard as to why I have made the decision to block people in my life over the years.
And I am delighted to say I think I have the most realistic reasons.
I will eliminate the obvious ones:
Your ex-co-workers or bosses
Here are the 5 reasons why you need to block someone:
#1 – To Stop Abuse
Is somebody abusing you?
Are any of the following occurring towards you?
- emotional abuse.
- sexual abuse.
- sexual exploitation.
It will be a particularly good idea to just stop this immediately and block the person who is doing that with immediate effect.
A woman I know went on a date with a lunatic from Tinder, and he bombarded her phone with texts, calls, photos, and even dangerous threats.
Because she was a very patient and kind person, she allowed it to continue.
When sure enough he never stopped and then started showing up to her home to the point where she got a restraining order and couldn’t take it anymore.
If you give people an inch, they will take a mile.
Especially toxic and sociopathic people.
There was a stage where getting a person’s number was almost seem like a victory in the dating world back in the 90’s.
But now people are throwing their number and personal social media around like confetti.
The boundary, aka the personal one is eliminated.
It is like opening your door to your home and asking the world to come in and do and take whatever they want.
So if you are currently being abused in any kind, for whatever reason you are better off blocking these people immediately.
It does not matter who is doing the abusing, there is a line that must never be crossed.
If they have crossed that line, you can sure as hell guarantee that they will do it again.
Why is that the case?
Because I will repeat it again:
If you give people an inch, they will take a mile.
People can hide behind their phone and spit out abuse and insults to people, because it is easier and less intimidating.
Some of the nastiest things I’ve ever read have been through texts or private messages.
Have some self-respect and block the person hurling you abuse immediately.
#2 – To Clear Your Head
I can speak from personal experience here and I want you to take what I am about to tell you extremely seriously:
If you surround yourself with a toxic person, you will have a toxic life.
Toxic, negative, and difficult people will destroy your life if you allow them to.
I remember having the most amount of work stress I had to ever endure.
It was so difficult and overwhelming that when I could relax it was the only time I had to think clearly.
And by think clearly, I mean think successfully to get out of the mess I found myself in and go back to a better way of life.
However, I was dating a narcissist at the time.
And if you have ever dated a narcissist, peace and quiet at all with them is as rare as a UFO sighting.
How do you think I faired?
Answer I didn’t, I became more stressed, more agitated, more frustrated.
I was making mistakes in my work, my decision making was off, I was a complete mess.
My life was on the verge of becoming a complete disaster.
It was only when I blocked and removed that narcissist from my life did I immediately sense a feeling of peace.
I found a huge weight lift off my shoulders.
I began to smile more.
I could sleep better.
I ate better.
But most importantly of all I could think better.
By having clouded thinking, you are setting yourself up for chaos.
That is why regardless of what they are saying or doing or even what they mean to you, the person who you are thinking of blocking needs to be blocked.
Most likely you have tried everything:
You’ve tried reasoning
You’ve tried talking it through
You’ve explained you are exhausted
You have emphasized that you need space and a break
But like that moth that just won’t go away and constantly pesters you, they just won’t listen.
Remove them and think clearer so you can realize how your life is better without them.
#3 – To Create Healthy Boundaries
Blocking someone will give you the confidence to create a healthy boundary, and ultimately protect you from such malevolent people in the future.
What does it mean to have a healthy boundary?
Based on my own personal experience I believe having boundaries is having the mental strength and resilience to protect yourself from abuse of any type.
There is something you really need to understand, and you must remember, because like you I was very naïve and easily manipulated.
The world is not all sunshine and rainbows, it is a very mean and nasty world, and it does not matter how tough you are it will beat you to your knees if you let it.
And with that there are some very nasty and evil people in this world.
Liars, cheaters, narcissists, sociopaths, and psychopaths to name a few.
These toxic people are out to destroy the world and those who stand in their way.
Again, I’ll repeat this:
If you give someone an inch, they will take a mile.
Never has this been truer than the current world that we live in.
So, by blocking this person you are doing what 99% of other people are afraid of doing:
You are creating a healthy boundary.
You have analysed the situation enough to justify your action.
When I block somebody, I will often go through the following narrative in my head:
“Ok this person has disrespected me for the last time, if I carry on allowing them to do this, then I will only have a worse opinion of myself and of them. There is no point in letting them carry on doing this to me, I must block them and move on.”
I know it can be exceedingly difficult to think so logically in a situation like this, especially if you have been emotionally triggered too.
But you NEED to.
What is more by doing this you are setting yourself up for future protection from such toxic individuals for the future.
Blocking the toxic person in your life will give you the confidence to do the same in the future too.
Believe it or not, there are not many good genuine people in the world.
And the more people you meet and network with, the more you will realize it.
Therefore, by blocking them and creating that boundary you will have the understanding and the knowhow to do it again in the future.
You are almost mentally preparing yourself for the future.
It is also extremely attractive doing this, and you will hold yourself in higher regard too.
#4 – Stop Negativity
Negative and toxic people will always find a way to ruin your happiness, rain on your parade and destroy any positive beliefs you may have.
There was never a statue built of a critic.
If you are receiving the following from somebody:
Negative messages of any kind
It means you are going to bring and allow negativity in your life.
It does NOT matter how positive you are, the more you surround yourself with toxicity the more toxic your overall life will become too.
You become who you surround yourself with.
I remember seeing a girl that no matter what or how she created drama.
I was working on a huge project for work, which required my full attention.
What did this negative Nancy do?
She told me how she got herself into a physical fight with her brother and how she was bleeding and badly hurt.
I dropped everything and rushed to her home to see if she was ok, only to find that it was a little scuffle and she was fine.
But even still, what the hell was I doing with a person like that?!
And sure, enough I lost my focus, took my eye off the prize with my work, and did a lousy job overall.
If you are at all ambitious or have goals, it will require a huge amount of dedication, discipline, and positive thinking.
But if you have a negative voice of any kind in your ear or blowing up your phone, I can guarantee you they will find a way to derail you and question your motives.
That is why you MUST block these people regardless of your career or goals, with immediate effect.
They will serve nothing for you but more problems.
#5 – You Deserve Better
Ultimately whenever I have blocked and kept ANYBODY blocked I do it for life.
I never go back on my blocking because I have enough self-respect for myself and ultimately, I know I deserve better.
You do too, and I do not care if you doubt that I am here to assure you that you do.
You deserve respect
You deserve love
You deserve admiration
You deserve support
You deserve positivity
You deserve happiness
You deserve success
You deserve kindness
You deserve a chance
You deserve to win
You do not deserve:
Make friends and associate with people that want the best for you, nothing else.
And if you have not done it already block that person, do not look back and go out there and enjoy your life.
In Episode #33 of The Lockdown Show Podcast I discuss how to develop your integrity with the excellent Dr Kevin Vost.
Greatest Side Hustle Ideas with No Money Upfront
This post is about the greatest side hustle ideas with no money upfront!
I have researched 15 amazing passive income ideas and side hustles that will cost you absolutely no money upfront at all!
Do you want to make passive income but don’t have the money to buy real estate or dividend paying stocks or shares?
What if I were to tell you there are 15 simple and effective ways for you to earn passive income on the side with no cost up front?
Here are the list 15 side hustles with no upfront costs:
#1 – Sell on eBay
Look around your home and you will see money everywhere you look. I am dead serious because your trash/junk could be somebody else’s treasure. Start selling things you no longer need on eBay today, and you will be amazed how much people will pay for your unwanted items!
#2 – Tutor
If you are a teacher or a lecturer, you can make terrific money by tutoring students outside of work hours. I know a woman who earnt more money from her private students than she did teaching! You do not have to be a teacher, and if you are an expert in a subject start tutoring today!
#3 – Walk Dogs
One of the most difficult things about owning a dog is finding the time to walk the poor thing, especially if you are a busy person. But a dog walker I know earns a good side income by walking several at a time for some very wealthy people. If you love dogs offer your time to walk them and you will be amazed how many people will need your services!
#4 – Write and Sell Your eBook on Amazon
I earn a passive income from books I had published ages ago on Amazon. The best thing is it is free to do! So, if you fancy yourself a bit of a writer, start writing your book and get it published on Kindle for free! Then every time somebody purchases your book you will receive a royalty for all the hard work you had done previously! Also, your book does not need to be fiction, it can be a how to book, but make sure you write about what you are passionate and interested in!
#5 – Start a YouTube Channel
I started SCG SHOW on YouTube in late 2019 and in 6 months I got over 1000 subscribers and approved on the YouTube partnership programme! Meaning I earn money from advertisers for all my videos! So if you are passionate about a certain topic, pick your niche and start creating content today, and when you hit the threshold of 1000 subs and 4000 watch hours you may get approved to earn money from your videos!
#6 – Babysitting
The average babysitter earns $16 per hour! And all they do is sit in a house with some kids and watch Netflix. I could not think of an easier gig! Plus, if the parents really trust you, they will start recommending you to other people! I know a babysitter who earns $100s a week watching multiple kids and she loves it!
#7 – Tour Guide
Do you know your local area well? Are you a bit of a historian? Start offering tour guides to people and you can earn a regular income from this if you start getting good reviews. A guy I know retired to Greece and offered tours in a remote yet historic part of the country and earns thousands a year off the tourists!
#8 – Proofreading
Are you an avid reader? Are you a bit of a Grammar Nazi? Well proofreading is the perfect side hustle for you! You can read legal documents, books, transcripts, and charge either per word or per hour!
#9 – Translating
If you are bilingual, you can translate important information for people on the side. My friends’ mother was so good and successful at this that she ended up doing this as a full-time business. All because she could speak two languages = Spanish and English. You can charge by the hour or per document you need to translate.
#10 – Ghost-writing
Most novelist and writers do not write their own books. They hire ghost-writers to do all the hard work for them and take all the credit. However, in return they can get paid well for doing so! Therefore, if you are good at writing, reach out to authors and such offering your services to them!
#11 – Music Lessons
I was taught guitar by a great guy who did it as a side hustle for 20 years! He was such a good teacher and so likeable I recommended him to all my friends who wanted to learn to play as well. If you are good at an instrument and love music start offering lessons and charge by the hour!
#12 – Extra in Movies
Want to star in a movie? Well you can by becoming an extra! In terms of how much do extras get paid; it will depend on the project. Obviously, bigger productions pay more, and low-budget films will pay less if anything. The standard pay is usually about 100-150 per day!
#13 – Modelling
Are you good in front of a camera? Consider offering your services as a model! Depending on how big the gig is, you can earn a fortune from this on the side! By the way models are needed for almost everything. I know a hand model who just takes photos for watch companies who earns $50,000 a year!
#14 – Consulting
I offer consulting services for businesses, brands and individuals looking to grow their social media and make more of an impact online. If you are an expert in any field, you can become a consultant. Just as an example, I once got paid $500 for half a day’s work discussing SEO with a client!
#15 – Pet Sitting
Do you love pets? People who travel a lot need someone to look after their dogs and cats all the time. So, like a babysitter you can pet sit and earn a really good income! You can charge by the hour, by the day or however you like! People will more likely leave their pets with people they trust over kennels etc.
How to Learn Self-Love and Acceptance
This post is about how to learn self-love and acceptance.
There are 5 powerful steps for you to learn how to love yourself more and become more accepting of life in general.
In a world full of narcissists and negative people we can often forget that we as humans often need to give ourselves a good amount of TLC and affection.
What exactly is self-love?
Self-love is the regard for one’s own well-being and happiness.
Let me ask you a few questions:
When was the last time you put yourself first before others?
When was the last time you put your needs first?
When was the last time you treated yourself to something special?
When was the last time you felt genuinely at peace?
When was the last time you were happy?
Here are some benefits of having more self-love and acceptance in your life:
You will become a more positive person overall
You will attract more abundance into your life
You will become a better person
You will have better relationships
People will treat you differently
You will become more confident
You will start loving your life more
We can often neglect loving ourselves because we are way too busy chasing the love and the admiration for the wrong things.
And of course, chasing the love of the WRONG people too.
As a result of that we suffer massively because we are currently in a world where insecurity is on a dramatic rise.
People are feeling the negative effects of social media and the constant fear of missing out.
If we instead started turning our attention more inwardly, we can start to do the necessary healing we need to improve our overall wellbeing and happiness.
I have been learning these steps myself and the results have been tremendous.
I ask you to be reasonably openminded with what I am going to suggest.
Remember; “how you love yourself is how you teach others to love you.”
Here are 5 ways to learn self-love and acceptance:
#1 – Learn to Have Fun Alone
One of the very first ways to improve your self-love is to start learning how to have fun completely on your own.
Most people have the need and desire to constantly be around other people and so on.
Whilst good company is fantastic, learning how to have fun all by yourself is a particularly important step and lesson that you must learn.
The average person when they are alone does the following:
Browse social media
Read a Book or a magazine
Sleep or Nap
But there is SO much more you can be doing to enjoy yourself!
Here are some great ideas of ways you can be having more fun in your own company:
Go for a jog
Write a song
Play an instrument
Go for a coffee or tea
Learn a new language
Play a video game
Go to a concert
Visit a museum
Have a spa day
Play with your pet
Listen to some music
Go grab a bite to eat
Go see a movie
#2 – No Guarantees in Life
This is a lesson in acceptance, where sadly no matter what you do or believe in, regrettably there are no guarantees in life.
I wish I could tell you there was, but sadly there isn’t.
And the sooner you come to terms with that, the better your life will be.
How can you come to accept this?
How can this make me feel better about my life?
The first thing it will do is make you more mature mentally and emotionally.
By realizing that god forbid you can lose your job or the entire world can go into lockdown because of a deadly virus and so on, can actually encourage some much needed and deserved inner peace.
What I noticed when the pandemic occurred was simply there was no guarantees in life at all, and I learnt the hard way.
Never in my wildest dreams would I ever imagine the world being locked indoors, Disneyland closed, the Vegas strip shut down and so on.
Because there are NO guarantees in life.
What it taught me is how much I took for granted.
Even the tiniest of things, such as going to my favourite local café and sitting outside sipping an Espresso watching people walking by on a warm summer’s day.
Such a simple yet beautiful setting for me.
And when the pandemic happened that tiny little moment that I loved so dearly was abruptly taken away from me.
Because there are NO guarantees in life.
I used that café example because even something so minor or so pointless to most people was not ever guaranteed anymore.
The lesson here is to never take anything for granted:
Because the only real guarantee in life is death, you will die one day.
So why on earth take all the wonderful gifts life has to offer for granted?
#3 – Start Being Grateful
A great way to learn how to love yourself more and come to terms with acceptance is to start becoming more grateful for what you have.
We live in a very entitled almost narcissistic world where people are bragging on social media about all the luxury things they have, and the rest are just feeling insecure about themselves in comparison.
You have A LOT to be grateful for in your life!
And the more your practice gratitude the more you will be happy with what you have, and more accepting of where you are in your life.
I am not suggesting get comfortable, there is always room for improvement, always!
But I am instead suggesting making you feel more in love with yourself regardless of what others have or say to really look deep into what you have.
In case you don’t know what to be grateful for in your life here are some ideas:
A roof over your head and a warm home
Money in the bank (no matter how little or large)
Your friends (again no matter how many you have or don’t)
Freedom of religion
Your courage and strength
Access to the internet
The fact you are alive
Breathing fresh air
A bed to sleep
Books to read
Places to travel to
“Gratitude is the fairest blossom which springs from the soul.”
#4 – You Only Have Control Over Your Internals
The ancient philosophy of stoicism is a very popular and practical way of coming to terms with acceptance in life.
The stoics believe that you do not have control over anything that is going on outside of you aka the externals.
This may include:
However, the stoics are utterly convinced that a person has 100% aka complete control over what is going on INSIDE of them aka the internals.
Your decision making
What has this got to do with acceptance?
Because coming to terms with the illusion of control is the very first step in improving your happiness and wellbeing.
By realizing and understanding all you control is your mind and how you respond to life is the best way to accept things as they are.
For example, if somebody is abusive to you for no good reason.
You will be hurt and upset for sure, but you realize and rationalize “I can engage in this toxic individual, OR I can walk away and associate myself with better and healthier people.”
This sort of rational and logical thinking is exactly what you need in life.
To understand that you have no real impact on other people and how they will treat you is a tremendous step in your development.
Realize that what is going on inside of you is way more important than how you react.
Suddenly you will stop caring what people say or do to you, because as the stoics say, “It doesn’t matter what is going on externally of you.”
#5 – List Your Achievements!
The final lesson in learning how to love yourself and accept life is for you to make a serious list of your achievements.
I know what you might are saying “but I have not done anything in my life?!”
I respectfully disagree my friend.
There is something you must have done.
It can be big or small, but you must write it all down and read it to yourself daily.
Life can be terribly busy and distracting and often we can forget what we have accomplished over the years.
It could be something big like starting a business, or it could something like leaving an abusive ex-partner.
It does not matter write it all down!
And read it to yourself every single day for at least a month.
What this will do will give you an enormous sense of pride and admiration for yourself.
And subconsciously it will inspire you to pursue more gaols and dreams that you would maybe lack the confidence to.
Please write your achievements down privately and read each one out loud and look back at what you have managed to do in your life with a smile.
And if nobody else is proud of you or what you have done, you can be and deserve to be.
“Love yourself first and everything else falls into line.”