THE SCG SHOWWelcome to the official THE SCG SHOW website!
In this podcast, I share true incredible stories of how people I knew and trusted have royally screwed me over recently.
The stories are SO shocking, that even whilst recording things were escalating and getting far worse!
This includes a business arrangement that has gone horribly wrong, and a best friend crossing a line too.
Strap yourself in for a truly SHOCKING podcast episode!
In this podcast I will reveal the simple and powerful trick to stop caring what people think!
This is easier said than done, but once you realise the cold hard truth about most people, you can learn to detach more!
Prepare to dive deeper with SCG in this groundbreaking topic, which might just change your life forever!
I will show you how you can and why you must escape the social matrix, before it consumes your life, your future, and certainly before it’s far too late! – Also, it’s actually not as hard to do as you might think!
Typically, in modern society, there is this intricate web of connections that link everything together, kind of like a giant puzzle.
We can think of this as a societal matrix.
Imagine it as a grid where each row and column represent a different part of society, like families, schools, governments, and cultures.
When we look at this matrix, we see how all these parts interact and influence each other.
For example, decisions made by the government can affect families, and cultural beliefs can shape education.
Understanding this matrix helps us see the big picture of society and how all the pieces fit together.
It’s like seeing the gears in a machine and understanding how they work together to make everything function smoothly.
Now what typically happens when one gear in the machine doesn’t operate as smoothly as expected?
It malfunctions, and sends ripples and shockwaves throughout the entire machine, because it’s an outlier.
That gear is then typically replaced, and taken OUT of the machine entirely, but also, that gear is free of being controlled.
It can be and do whatever it wants, if obviously it was a conscious being.
That is how I want you to approach this interesting and very important topic.
If you think I am going to shout and rant and rave like Andrew Tate does when it comes to the Matrix, cancel culture etc, then you are very much mistaken.
If you think I am going to insist you take metaphorical Red Pills, and expose the nature of women with extreme views and all or nothing thinking, then you are very much mistaken.
If you think I am going to be a conspiracy theorist, coming at you with crazy ideas about the world and the governments agenda, again you are very much mistaken.
As somebody (myself) who ESCAPED the societal matrix, I am going to approach it from a more logical, practical, and healthier perspective.
Whilst the likes of Andrew Tate, the Red Pill community and SOME conspiracy theorists MIGHT have compelling arguments, again that’s not the goal of this content.
The goal here is to be like that outlier gear in the machine.
To be free.
Free of expectation.
Free as you realistically can be, to do what you want, feel how you feel, within reason.
The Average Man Stuck in the Matrix:
Let’s paint a hypothetical scenario here, aka Jack is born in London, England 30 years ago.
His parents raise him well, whilst both working jobs, aka working for OTHER people.
By the time he makes it to school, he is slowly being groomed and conditioned to take orders from his teachers and most adults in general.
He is conditioned to believe he must go to college and obtain a degree, because “Everybody needs a degree.”
He studies hard, but he is an average student at best, however gets into a college to go on to study “History.”
But of course, college is NOT cheap, and certainly NOT free, and due to his circumstances, he takes out a very expensive loan, whilst working a part-time job.
Eventually he graduates with an average grade, and goes out into the working world.
But nobody really cares that Jack has a degree in History, so then he does the only thing he is conditioned to do.
He goes BACK to college to do a one-year course to become a qualified teacher.
Then as time goes on, Jack has a job for life, at the very school he went to as a young boy, teaching History.
Not once did he make his own choice for his own career.
Not once did he ever question anything at all.
He plodded along, and almost from his first day at school as a young boy, he was set up to become a teacher, and the cycle just continues for the NEXT Jack who is in that class.
But Let’s Also Discuss His Personal Life:
After growing up in a two-parent household, watching television and movies, and of course seeing his friends and people older settling down, he realises he needs a partner.
But any partner would do for Jack.
Somebody ideally who just like his parents and the teachers of the world, would guide him, and tell him what to do.
Therefore, he tries an online dating site, and within a matter of weeks he is out on the first date he could get.
His date is nothing special either, but she wants the same as Jack, aka a boyfriend and somebody to eventually marry.
There is no real chemistry, no real connection, it’s just easy, it is formulaic, and simple.
Long story short, they live together, and Jack and his partner stretch themselves too thin financially by buying a house they cannot afford.
“For the children!” they both insist.
After getting married, Jack’s wife falls pregnant, and they give birth to a little boy called “Edward.”
His parents raise him well, whilst both working jobs, aka working for OTHER people.
By the time Edward makes it to school, he is slowly being groomed and conditioned to take orders from his teachers and most adults in general.
He is conditioned to believe he must go to college and obtain a degree, as well “Everybody needs a degree.”
He studies hard, but he is an average student at best, however gets into a college to go on to study “History.”
Wait a minute….
STOP….
Did you see what happened there?
Jack and his wife gave birth to Edward, to carry on most likely the EXACT same trajectory as his parents, who copied THEIR parents, who copied THEIR parents and so on.
Remember the gears in the machine?
Jacks’ parents.
Jack as a parent.
Jacks’ child Edward.
They are all the gears in the machine, aka go to school, go to college, get a mortgage, settle down, have kids, and work until you retire, then die.
Look, before I continue, I want to emphasise here there is nothing wrong with doing that, aka having a career, getting married, kids, a house etc.
BUT….
What if I told you there was a way of doing that in a non-conformist, sheeplike, outlier thinking sort of way?
What if you can escape the social matrix, WHILST still getting all that and more?
I am not a dream seller, and many might disagree with my take on this topic, but there is a way you can live life with far more freedom than the average person, who is a slave to society, aka a slave to the matrix itself.
The truth about somebody like Jack aka the average person, is they go on to live very average lives.
They don’t reach their potential.
They settle for far less.
And on their deathbed, they are an old gear that is out of sync with the rest, which gets discarded from the machine, and rusts away for eternity.
I will now explain how I personally escaped the social matrix, and it happened back when I was 21 years of age!
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I am going to give you two different personal examples of how I escaped the social matrix, firstly I will reveal my career escape:
My Escape from the Rat Race:
I have absolutely NOTHING against people who work 9-5s, climb the corporate ladder, work for other people etc.
They have to a degree a regular pay schedule, and the illusion of stability.
I took advice from somebody in my early 20s to think about the next stage of my career.
At the time, I had walked away from college, it wasn’t for me, I was tired of the education system, and I should have known there and then I was not going to be like the other gears in the machine.
So desperate for guidance and advice, I was told to pursue a career as a legal clerk, aka an administrator for a top Lawyer.
I was told “You can make great money, and work your way up to being a senior clerk who do very well financially!”
So, let me get this straight, working a glorified administrative job, which most likely is now being outsourced by AI is going to be my ultimate career purpose?
Foolishly at the time, I accepted it, and I was going to work as a legal clerk.
But coincidentally, and remember life, the universe, God WILL give you signs and push you to them if you pay attention, and just the day before I started that role, I went to a party hosted by a wealthy girl and her parents in their mansion, they were family friends.
I was fascinated at the people there, who were all self-made multimillionaires, who escaped the rat race, took the unconventional route to become successful.
Were any of them working in administration?
No.
Any of them pursuing a career as legal clerks?
No.
Any of them getting on trains doing the 9-5?
No.
These were men and women who invested their money, invested their time, and grew a business themselves.
I dreaded going on the train (which coincidentally broke down making me late) and into that job that Monday morning.
I hated the office, my co-workers and most of all, I hated my boss.
Who was a narcissistic racist tyrant and would never have gotten away with how he worked and treated me and many others in today’s working environment.
I thought to myself “Those people at that party are not better, no smarter, no different than me, how comes they are living a rich and fulfilling life with freedom and I am working for a toxic boss in a boring job?!”
Because THEY escaped the social matrix, and I HAD to do the same!
It was a blessing I got fired from that awful administrative job, because it set me up for my journey to become an entrepreneur for over 15 years.
My late father was an entrepreneur, my uncle as well, my godfather, and many people I knew were personally, it was my destiny to escape the rat race, and do my own thing.
Breaking the Cycle for Freedom
I have grown up and lived most of my life in London, UK, and let me tell you 15 years ago commuting was a nightmare.
Ask my girlfriend who must commute every day for her job, who gets crammed into a train that may or may not be on time due to delays, then must walk to her office, through rain, sleet, snow, heavy winds etc.
She hates it, has done it for so long, but loves her job.
For me, that was a fundamental reason I quit the rat race, to have the freedom to work how I wanted, when I wanted, whenever I wanted too.
It’s not easy however…
Sometimes as a business owner, I envy that steady pay every month for showing up and working for somebody else…
But the mere thought of making somebody else richer makes me sick to my stomach.
Or killing myself physically and mentally to work for another person, it just makes my skin crawl.
Right this moment, working on this content “How to Escape the Social Matrix,” I am sat in the comfort of my own home, on my own timetable and schedule.
I answer to nobody but myself.
I love the freedom.
And after 15 years, there is NO WAY I will ever swap that for anything else ever again.
I remember in my final years of education being so done with the entire routine.
So done with the rules and regulations.
I am not a free spirit or a hippy, I am just a guy who wanted to escape from the norm when it came to a career and build his own legacy.
I am not a millionaire, yet. I am not completely financially free, yet.
However, by escaping the rat race, building my own business, investing, and managing my money my own way, I have a better chance of being like one of those millionaires at that party.
Next, I will discuss the other way I escaped the social matrix in regard to relationships and dating.
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The second personal example of how I escaped the social matrix involves love, dating and romantic relationships.
Escaping the Tradition:
I am of Mediterranean descent, and in my family, culture etc, it is standard to settle down fast and start a family too.
9 times out of 10, we normally date each other, for cultural reasons, religious reasons to a degree as well, but on reflection, its out of convenience.
It was already ingrained by my culture to keep up the tradition.
In fact, when I visited my home country as a teenager, I was grilled by the family:
“Do you have a girlfriend yet?”
“When are you settling down?”
“How comes you aren’t engaged yet?!”
I carried a whole host of anxiety and insecurity with me for many years, that my bride-to-be and the girl I would end up with HAD to be of the same ethnicity etc.
So, I wasted many, many years trying to find the perfect fit, aka the partner who the family, culture etc would approve of, just so I could not be hassled anymore, and perhaps “fit in.”
This resulted in me making undoubtably the worst romantic mistake of my entire life, back in my late 20s settling for and dating a woman who turned out to be very toxic for many years.
Culturally we spoke the same language.
Were the same religion.
We ate the same food.
We lived locally to one another.
But truthfully, I argued with this woman from the moment I met her, I never truly liked her, struggled to see a future with her, and I was just utterly miserable.
My culture was almost like a micro-social matrix within a much larger social matrix.
Basically, my relationship and partner ticked the right boxes for others.
But never for myself.
Traditionally, my life and future and plan were kind of set-in stone, and that was to settle down with her, get married, buy a house, and have children.
I wanted all those things.
But not with her.
Never with her.
I had to break the cycle, I had to walk away, I had to escape from the social matrix, before making the biggest mistake of my life.
The Culture Shock:
On reflection after I walked away, and trust me it was the only logical option, it felt like a massive weight lifted off my shoulders.
I was also going against my entire family.
I was going against tradition, and religion to a degree.
I was going against everything I was conditioned for, aka get married to a girl of the same background as you, and continue your lineage etc.
It was a culture shock, for everybody, but deep down, it felt right, just like it felt right when I decided to become an entrepreneur.
And fast forward to present day, and I am madly in love with a woman not from the same background as me.
Who was born and raised completely different to me.
Who brings me more joy, satisfaction, and happiness than I could ask for.
And as for my family, my culture, the traditions etc, who cares!
I found my person!
I found my girl!
I am happy!
But what is most incredible, is my wonderful partner has learnt to adopt and adapt to my cultural traditions as we have grown closer and as time has gone on.
It worked out in the end for me, far better than I could have ever imagined!
Summarizing My Escapes:
So, as I already mentioned, originally, I escaped the social matrix, by turning away from a traditional job and 9-5 and working for myself.
People well and truly stuck in the matrix insisted to me “You are not a businessman, and you will never make it.”
Well, they were wrong, I have done this for over 15 years, and I am just getting started.
When I then escaped the social matrix in regards to my toxic relationship and choosing to remain single, the backlash continued.
People well and truly stuck in the matrix insisted to me “You are getting old and do not have the luxury to be single and just walk away!”
As I have already said, I am in the best relationship I could have asked for as a result all these years later.
I am an average and normal guy.
And even I (all on my own), with no help, no guidance, no advice escaped the social matrix as a result.
Next, I will reveal what to expect initially, then afterwards the potential success and growth you can expect by your escape:
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If it were easy to escape the social matrix entirely, trust me, everybody and anybody would be doing it all the time.
But the sad reality which I touched on briefly in the previous point is the sheer aftermath and backlash that comes a person’s way for doing so.
Let me use an analogy as a great example:
“Horton Hears a Who” a story by Dr Seuss, is about an elephant named Horton who finds a tiny town living on a speck of dust.
Even though other animals don’t believe him, Horton decides to protect the little people called Whos.
This story is like breaking free from what everyone else thinks you should do.
Horton teaches us it is important to stand up for what’s right, even if people make fun of you.
Because that is what is going to happen initially, hate, scepticism, and backlash.
For example, I started my personal brand THE SCG SHOW back in 2020.
And still in 2023, despite all the growth and success, somebody stuck in the social matrix gave me hate for no reason!
They said “How do you know it will keep growing? What makes you so special? Ok you got views but who cares?”
I am old and wise enough now to know that when I hear statements like that, to just keep moving forward, and that I am in fact heading in the right direction overall.
But after the hate…
After the jealousy…
After the criticism…
What comes next?
The Actualisation of Your Decision:
Say you decided to leave your high paying job in the city to start a passion project business and run it from your bedroom.
Or maybe you have just walked away from a relationship, friendship, or even family who were mistreating you, making you miserable etc.
What happens afterwards is the actualisation of your situation.
Now you must rely on YOURSELF!
Your skills, your experience, your wisdom, your common sense, to make you money, manage your money, expenses etc.
It’s all on you and the exact same applies to dating too, you must rely on your skills to attract the right partner, your experience to have a relationship, and so on.
Reality sets in, and it can be quite daunting for most people.
Some People Are Not Cut Out for It!
I had a close friend once who was inspired by me to quit the rat race and start his own business completely on his own.
“I hate my boss!” he said, “I am tired of this entire job lifestyle, I want to be just like you!”
He worked on his business at home for a grand total of six months whilst announcing to the entire world about his entrepreneurial endeavours.
He budgeted poorly as he dug deep into his savings and blew the lot.
And then with his tail between his legs, he crawled back to his old employer and begged for his job back with less pay than what he was originally on.
He told me “I don’t know how you do it? How do you deal with the unstable nature of business? How do you sleep with all that pressure on yourself?”
Because I can handle it, and I wanted to escape the social matrix.
Here is Another Example:
As you may or may not know, I have encouraged many people through my content to walk away from the wrong people and relationships.
I have inspired and encouraged more breakups and personal transformations than most people for the better.
Another close friend I know reached out for advice and help, with the desperation to walk away from his toxic girlfriend.
I told him what I tell everybody, “You will never be good enough for the wrong person.”
He took my advice, and shouted to the world through social media how delighted he was, how strong and powerful he felt etc.
Only for him exactly a year later, to go crawling back to his toxic ex, for round two of the most awful relationship imaginable.
He told me “I don’t know how you do it? How do you deal with the unstable nature of being single and alone? How do you sleep with all that pressure on yourself?”
Because I can handle it, and I wanted to escape the social matrix.
Expect This and More!
Please do not call me arrogant or assume I am better than most people, I am just a regular, normal, average guy.
But a guy who also has a very low threshold and tolerance for settling when I know and deserve far better than what I am getting.
And even if it takes a long time, sacrifice, pain and suffering it is worth it in the end.
I mean I am living proof of that, and many others are as well.
I took two personal examples because for me they really stand out as the most obvious choices in regard to my escaping the social matrix.
Lastly, I will reveal the personal growth and success you can attain from escaping:
Do you know who needs to invest in digital security?
Anyone with something worth protecting.
And if you’re reading this post, I’m guessing that is you.
Because, like most Americans, you’ve spent a good part of your life building a life worth protecting.
That’s why I am excited to partner with Aura, who is sponsoring The SCG SHOW.
Aura is a digital security solution that protects your online accounts, connection, and devices with one simple subscription.
For as low as $10 a month, you’ll get alerted to fraud and threats FAST— like if your online accounts or passwords were leaked online, or if someone tries to open a bank account in your name or social security number.
Aura will also protect your devices from malware and encrypt your WiFi connection so you can shop, bank and stream online securely.
With an easy online dashboard and alerts sent straight to your phone, Aura keeps you in control and guides you through solving any issues
All plans come with $1 million in identity theft insurance to help recover eligible losses, and experienced, US-based customer support that’s got your back.
For hard-working Americans, who have worked their whole lives to build a life worth protecting, I recommend Aura.
So, if you want a secure your online presence from hackers, scammers and noisy advertising companies go to Aura and when you use my link, you’ll get up to 40% off all plans!
If you are the exact same person you were a year ago, guess what?
You have obviously not grown.
I am not talking about physically here, I am talking spiritually, mentally, emotionally.
If you are attracting the exact same results as you were a year ago, guess what?
You are going nowhere fast.
Again, I am not referring to sales or money, but if you are not losing weight, or moving onwards in your career, your education etc.
For me, to go from walking away from that office job to being a successful entrepreneur of 15 years, is a very proud achievement.
Oh, also I was a college dropout, remember?
Yet another example of me escaping the matrix.
My Business Growth and Lessons:
I started and ran a business in my 20s that exploded in growth after years of hard work, grinding, networking and perseverance.
Initially, I didn’t know what I was doing!
I was winging it most of the time!
I took huge risks and gambles!
But it paid off, (that is not always the case by the way), and I can safely say had I not done so, I would not be the man I am today, nor in the position I am either.
I had an online publishing business which taught me the following incredible skills I would never have learnt from any degree or job I would have pursued:
The art of sales and persuasion.
How to scale a business.
How to manage finances.
How to network with people.
How to close a huge deal.
How to code and build websites.
How to use Photoshop and create digital art.
How to write, script, and create videos.
That former business, (which sadly closed a few years back now due to unforeseen circumstances) set me up for my current business, aka my personal brand THE SCG SHOW.
I thank my younger self for setting me up in my 20s with the patience, knowledge, and wisdom to be where I am here today.
My Relationship and Dating Lessons:
You will never be good enough for the wrong person, irrespective of what people insist to you, aka your friends, family and even your wrong romantic partner.
It took me many, many years to realise my self-worth.
Even though deep down I knew I had it all along.
That I was deserving of an extremely attractive, kind, supportive partner who would help me to evolve into the best version of myself I have ever been.
I would never swap my girlfriend, relationship etc for nothing or anybody else.
I would never do anything foolish to jeopardise it either.
Because I know what it takes to find a partner like that and trust me, I know the alternative.
Also, nothing winds me up more than a social matrix setup, aka somebody else telling YOU who you should date, and what YOUR standard and dating level is.
Rarely do setups work in my opinion.
One way or another somebody is shortchanged.
And you will deep down feel like you are just ultimately settling out of desperation.
Becoming Your Truest Self:
When a teacher, or lecturer tells you what to do, and you are a slave to their grades, their judgement, their assessment.
You are not your authentic or best self.
When a boss or employer tells you what to do, controls your pay, and you are a slave to their every wish and demand.
You are not your authentic or best self.
When friends and family tell you what to do, control your actions, your beliefs, your plans, and you are a slave to their harsh and critical judgement.
You are not your authentic or best self.
However!
When you step away from the social matrix, and those people, society even telling you what to do, how to be, what to think etc.
You are free.
You are NOT free to be lazy, cheat the system, believe you are above everybody else, that is toxic and not the point of this content.
Instead, you are free to live life the way you want to.
To believe in what you want without being too preachy.
To manifest success beyond your wildest dreams, as you become the very person you were always destined to be too, irrespective of what the social matrix has told you.
#5 – In Conclusion
In conclusion, you do NOT need to take a metaphorical red pill, watch Andrew Tate videos, join a cult, or become a conspiracy theorist.
You don’t even need to be overly angry.
Or upset, or overly annoyed or fed up.
You just need to make a choice, and say to yourself the following:
“I am stepping away from this, and I am going my own way.
I back myself and believe in myself that everything is going to be ok.”
But also let me reveal an important and frightening secret:
“Please let OTHER people STAY in the social matrix.”
You are going to need people to work for you when you become a boss and build your empire.
You are going to need your toxic ex to move on and be somebody else’s problem so you can find your perfect match.
Let people come to their own conclusions as you lead by example.
And it all starts with a simple and powerful choice, to escape the social matrix, once and for all!
In this podcast let’s talk about a radical concept: walking away.
In a world that often celebrates endurance, walking away takes courage.
It’s about reclaiming control of your narrative and prioritizing your well-being.
Host: Whether it’s a toxic relationship or a career that no longer fulfills you, walking away is a declaration of self-worth.
It’s saying, “I deserve better.”
So, if something no longer serves your growth, have the bravery to let go.
Because sometimes, the path to liberation begins with a single step away.
If you are a man serious about dating, and you don’t wish to waste your time chasing the wrong women, then you MUST reject the offer of the friend zone immediately!
What Actually is the Friend Zone?
In simplest terms, imagine you have a female friend, and you really like them more than just a friend, like you have strong feelings and attraction for them as a potential girlfriend.
However, they only see you as a friend, nothing more, they do not find you attractive either.
That situation is what people call the “friend zone.”
It’s when one person (most of the time men) want to be in a romantic relationship, but the other person (most of the time women) only wants to be friends.
It can feel kind of disappointing or sad for the man who wants more, because they might hope the friendship could eventually turn into something romantic, but it doesn’t happen.
It’s like being stuck in a zone where you’re just friends and can’t move beyond that.
One man described being stuck in the friend zone as: “It’s Pure hell! as I am supressing my thoughts, and emotions and animalistic feelings towards a woman who see’s me as her brother.”
Where Did the Friend Zone Come From?
The term “friend zone” originated from popular culture, particularly in the context of dating and relationships.
It gained A LOT of traction through various TV shows like “Friends,” movies such as “Just Friends,” and even books.
While its exact origin is not definitively known, it became widely recognized in the 1990s.
I was a 90s kid myself, and I can testify that to be true, it was like a terrible virus that swept the entire globe.
I never had a single girlfriend in high school, and every single one of them rejected me and insisted we “stay friends.”
Over time, the idea of the friend zone has been discussed and debated in popular culture, with some seeing it as a frustrating barrier to romantic pursuits, while others view it as a natural aspect of human relationships.
It has become a very common topic in conversations about dating dynamics and navigating interpersonal connections.
But does this mean Generation X never had things like the friend zone?!
Well, if you ask your parents or various members of that generation, you will be surprised by some of the responses you will get.
Most may say the following:
“If I didn’t like a man, I would say no and not stay friends.”
“I never did the friend zone; I would just date them and see what happens.”
“What the hell is a friend zone!?”
This is why most men get frustrated with modern dating, as they look at older generations and believe things were more straight forward in the past etc.
But regardless of whether the 90s gave birth to the friend zone or not, or whether you have been rejected more times than you’d ever imagined, ultimately the most important thing you can do is actually reject it.
You will never hear of the happily ever after story of the guy that got out of the friend zone and got the girl, and even if you do, 9 times out of 10 it always ends very badly.
Let me give you a very real example:
Back in my early 20s, I was friend zoned by a girl who I was attracted to, aka I wanted to date her, sleep with her etc.
There was nothing particularly special about her, but through my immaturity, and watching way too many Disney movies growing up, I wanted more than what she gave me.
We remained friends for around 2 long years, in which this girl dated, had one-night stands and even kissed A LOT of other guys in front of me!
I am not judging her for that, but trying to show how that made me feel.
There I was either on the end of a phone call with her, or even out as a third wheel with her and another man, who got everything he wanted, and there I was feeling sorry for myself and wasting precious time.
Then every couple of weeks or so, I would confess my dying love to her, only for her to say “I love you as a friend only, nothing more.”
The cycle would continue, I would just pretend to be her friend, as she was out being pursued by other men, who would even ridicule me as I sat there embarrassed, ashamed for putting up with the friend zone.
What made it even more humiliating was when she would call me up crying for advice, or for me to perk her up after she had been dumped, cheated on, or hurt by the many guys she was dating.
Then she would twist the knife deeper into my heart saying to me “I just wish I could find a guy like you, not you specifically, but very similar.”
What a woman….
Eventually one evening at a bar together, I had enough, we weren’t even really genuine friends to begin with, plus I was sick and tired of being sick and tired.
It happened the night she met a guy she was dating who came up to me and rudely asked: “Hey you are her little brother right?
Get me and this girl a few drinks from the bar little bro!”
I walked out.
I walked away.
I walked away from the friend zone.
Unsurprisingly she never cared, hardly reached out either, and we drifted apart completely, to the point where I never even saw her again.
But even if she reached out, I didn’t need her friendship, I didn’t want to torture myself any longer either.
I rejected the friend zone.
And from that very fateful day, I always had done, and any time ANY WOMAN would insist on us being friends, I would say no.
Even if it meant if we cut contact.
Even if it meant we had to stop seeing one another.
Even if it meant I would remain single and alone.
I didn’t care anymore, I didn’t want to know, I was done, it was finished, it was over.
Funnily enough, I used to have the coldest response to time wasting women when I was single and they tried to friend zone me too!
Whenever they would insist, we be just friends, I would respond:
“I have enough friends, no thanks.”
And I would walk off into the horizon, determined to find the right woman for me, which I eventually did, and I have no regrets doing so.
It’s Time to Debunk the Myths:
Whatever you have heard or learnt about the friend zone up until this very moment, please do me a favour and just forget it all.
You need to do what I did, and reject it.
Forget any success stories you might have heard of or think that it MAY apply to you and your situation.
Ultimately your goal is to find a woman who wants to date you, sleep with you, and be with you in a serious romantic relationship.
You do NOT want to settle for a woman who sees you as a friend only, treats you like a friend only, and keeps you stuck in the friend zone.
Now, I don’t sell dreams, I am NOT a miracle worker, however, my personal dating trajectory and life completely changed when I originally walked away from the friend zone all those years ago.
I do not think I would have the girlfriend I have now had I not done so.
So don’t think you are going to magically get the woman who friend zones you to suddenly fall in love with you etc.
The goal again is to reject it, and move on in a healthy and practical manner.
This is the best thing you can do.
Let us now dive deeper into other areas of the friend zone, and why you must reject it, to ultimately shape your future and life more to your advantage:
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I obviously must massively generalize here; however, I will try my best to work out just exactly why you got friend-zoned in the first place.
There are obviously so many variables here at play.
For example, a woman MAY have initially wanted to date you at the start, but over time she got turned off, changed her mind, and then never wanted to pursue you further romantically.
OR she from the very first moment she met you insisted she wanted to be just friends, and there was never any chemistry or attraction at all.
On reflection, I was friend-zoned in my high school days because I never looked after myself physically and mentally:
I had a patchy beard and acne.
I had the worst sense of style.
I only had confidence in small doses.
I had no idea how to flirt.
And I was a lot skinnier with little to no muscle at all.
Fast forward to present day, aka 20 odd years later, and now:
I have a sharp beard I style and take care of.
I wear clothes that suit me better.
I have way more confidence.
I can hold a conversation with a woman.
I am no longer skinnier, and have put on a lot of size especially in my shoulders and arms.
If I was the man I was today, I would have had a girlfriend back then for sure, but that is not how life works is it?
The point is whether you are being friend-zoned in high school or in your 40s, there are sadly superficial and even non-superficial reasons this is happening, such as the following:
You Are TOO Nice!
There is a reason nice guys finish last, and don’t get me wrong, I am NOT advocating or suggesting you become a jerk or a bad boy.
But most women do not want an overly polite, nice and shy guy, they want a man, ideally a good and assertive man.
Even my girlfriend who is the perfect match for me, and is so feminine, even insisted to me: “Sometimes I like my man to put me in my place.”
If you are the type of guy to buy flowers, gifts and take women to expensive restaurants who you barely even know, that screams of insecurity to me and desperation.
Again, it’s not about being a jerk, but its about stopping overly hard to get a woman to desperately fall in love with you by your “niceness.”
Bad Timing:
How often has a woman insisted to you “If you had just met me at a different time, then we would definitely be together!”
In some very rare and extreme circumstances that makes logical and total sense.
But it’s ultimately always an excuse.
Some women and even men exit toxic and miserable relationships, and are desperate to let their hair down and have some fun.
And even if they have fun casually, it might actually blossom into something meaningful, again which is quite rare.
But not with you, because most likely you have written her poems, told her how you want to marry her, and want to father her babies.
When the timing is just so off dude, aka she wants to be single right now, NOT to be tied down by or to anybody at all.
You’re Not Compatible:
You might think she is the most amazing woman ever, she seems cute, sweet, loyal, and you both like the same interests and hobbies.
But logically, you guys are just NOT compatible.
You are a strait-laced guy, who wants the house with the picket fence, 2 kids, a dog and to live in the suburbs.
She is a free spirit, changes jobs constantly, has tattoos and piercings all over her body to express her individuality etc.
You are a guy who wants to settle down as soon as possible.
She wants to travel the world, and take each day as it comes.
You may think and find these differences sweet and endearing, but when you are struggling to pay the mortgage as you and your potential girlfriend are backpacking across Asia, you are going to have huge problems.
You will never be good enough for the wrong person, so why it hurts initially to be friend-zoned take comfort in the fact that actually you guys were an awful match to begin with.
You Try TOO Hard:
By watching too many Romantic Comedies you have convinced yourself the best thing to do is win her over and bombard her with your interest.
Such as with over-the-top gifts.
Over the top gestures.
Pouring your heart and soul out to her constantly.
Begging and pleading for a chance.
When and will this ever be an attractive thing for a woman? – NEVER!
Trying too hard to get out of the friendzone only keeps you there longer and more stuck.
The Friendship First Approach:
Foolishly, some men believe the following “if I become friends with her first, then maybe afterwards she will date me!”
Whenever I hear that, I just want to smash my head into a brick wall repeatedly.
Guys, women will date a man straight away without being his friend.
Look at people you know, or famous couples, your grandparents etc.
YES, I know there are rare situations and the odd occasion where somebody will be friends with a woman first, then date her etc.
But let us be real here, you are shooting yourself in the foot to begin with, and statistically and logically this approach NEVER works in your favour.
Try the relationship first approach, NEVER the friendship one.
Attraction is Subjective:
While a woman may genuinely enjoy a man’s company and value him as a friend, they might not feel a romantic spark or physical attraction, which can lead to them keeping the relationship platonic.
In my personal life, I have always been a funny, easy-going guy with a quite big personality.
People have gravitated to me because of that throughout my life.
But does that mean the people that do all want to date and sleep with me, especially women?
Certainly not.
They valued me as a friend, as a contact, as somebody who they could gain advice from, network with etc.
What I found attractive, they found the opposite, and on reflection that is ok.
Not every woman is going to find you attractive.
Not every woman is going to want to date you.
Not every woman is going to want to sleep with you.
BUT they may want to hang out with you, socialise with you etc, and POSSIBLY introduce you to one of THEIR friends to date.
If you approach it from THAT angle, and keep it purely platonic, then you are going to actually have far more success with women and dating.
Ultimately…
You got friend-zoned, just like I did, just like millions of other men have done, because she just doesn’t want to date you, and not hurt your feelings, and that is OK, because she has every single right to do that and feel what she feels.
It’s actually about rejecting the offer and moving on, and trying your hardest to not take this all personally, which I get is easier said than done.
But let’s now discuss why some women DON’T FRIENDZONE certain men:
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When I was stuck in the friendzone in my early 20s, I remember being out with the particular girl that I liked at a bar.
There we were sat at the bar with drinks in our hands, her not flirting or paying any attention to me at all.
And there was me, foolishly thinking and feeling: “Why is she not looking at me?
I really hope tonight she finally wants to give me a chance!
I hope tonight is the chance I make my move!”
Then suddenly, this random guy looked at us both, and she stared back at him intensely, and didn’t break eye contact.
She whispered to me “This man that’s looking at me is so sexy…”
I looked at him, and truthfully, he was nothing special, however he had a certain aura about him, as he stared across the bar.
He then got up and walked towards us both, to which she said to me, “Go away, he is coming to talk to me, go to the toilet or something!”
I panicked and gave her space, and watched from the other corner of the bar this random man chatting up the girl who friend-zoned me.
They shared one drink, and they chose to leave together.
She never even said goodbye or texted me.
She just left me, in the bar alone, looking and feeling like the biggest fool ever.
That was one of the most pivotal moments in waking up to this entire situation, where some men do NOT get friend-zoned by women.
They get everything they want and more.
They make the friend-zoned men feel embarrassed.
They make the friend-zoned men feel ashamed.
But what gives, why do some women NOT friend-zone certain men?
Again, I will have to massively generalize here, but I believe I have got a rough idea of how and why that might be the case.
Physical Attraction:
Some women find men instantly attractive physically, it is just human biology.
For example, some particular women like men with fair hair and blue eyes.
I am naturally a dark haired and dark eyed man, therefore that particular woman is never going to think I am her type.
Therefore, if she feels an attraction in her mind and body, she is going to act on it.
She won’t supress and reject it, aka friendzone a man she finds physically attractive.
Chemistry and Emotional Connection
Strong emotional bonds and chemistry between two individuals can naturally lead to the development of romantic feelings, making it less likely for either person to be friend-zoned.
When I met my girlfriend, I was 35 at the time, and I had been on one hell of a life journey up until that point.
And we connected on a deep emotional level as well as a physical one.
Our chemistry was off the charts, a strong bond that I had never felt before, and one she had never felt either.
But that came through becoming the man I was always destined to be, a more mature, wiser but fun and confident man.
She gravitated to that, she wanted to date a slightly older man, after a relationship she endured that was immature, turbulent, and full of drama in the past.
It’s a natural click, it happens, you lock eyes, exchange numbers and next thing you know you are on the phone for hours sharing your stories and deep conversations.
Some women will not only date a man that she has that connection with, but she will marry him for life.
Respect and Admiration:
If a woman deeply respects and admires a man for his personal qualities, character, and actions, she may be more inclined to consider him as a potential romantic partner rather than just a friend.
Such as if a man has the confidence to walk across a room and ask a woman out…
Or ask for her number on a dating app…
Or ask to take her out on a date…
He takes his chance, shoots his shot, with clear intentions, and sometimes women respect that immediately.
For example, had I just talked and talked for days and weeks on end with my current girlfriend, she would never have respected or admired me at all.
I went for it, I asked her out on a date, and the rest is history.
Remember this, even if it may seem obvious, look at most couples and remind yourself that 9 times out of 10, the guy had the courage to ask her out in the first place.
You Can Be THAT Guy!
You can be the guy women do not friend-zone!
You can be the guy who gets the girl, gets the date and so much more!
However, not with the woman who has friend-zoned you, it must be with ANOTHER WOMAN entirely.
Next, I will be revealing why you need to reject the friend-zone ASAP, so you can finally and hopefully have the dating success you have long dreamed for:
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Hopefully so far, we have explored why you most likely got friend-zoned and also why some women can be so ruthless in the process too.
Aka going out for a meal or drink with you as a friend only, and then leaving with another man, most of the time a stranger too.
Are you not tired of that painful feeling?
Are you not tired of the constant humiliation?
Are you not tired of always being just a friend?
Well in case you still are having your doubts, I am going to give you logical, practical, and real reasons as to why you NEED to reject the very offer of the friend-zone and walk away:
Respect for Personal Boundaries:
If a woman has made it clear that they see you only as a friend, it’s important to respect their boundaries and wishes.
Continuously pursuing a romantic relationship against their wishes can be disrespectful and uncomfortable for both parties.
Sadly, most desperate men feed off breadcrumbs and the hope that somehow and someway the woman he is interested in is going to magically change their mind.
Ignore Hollywood.
Ignore Disney Movies.
If you like this woman as much as you claim to, you would respect their wishes, and just avoid even thinking of pursuing them romantically.
Turn off the switch inside of you that tells you the opposite, aka that she is going to fall in love with you etc, it isn’t going to happen, ever.
How would you feel if somebody YOU did NOT find attractive was constantly making moves on you and making you feel uncomfortable?
Emotional Well-Being:
Remaining stuck in the friend zone when you desire more can be emotionally taxing.
It can lead to feelings of frustration, disappointment, and low self-esteem, especially if you continually hope for something that isn’t going to happen.
I will never forget that moment in the bar where the girl who friend-zoned me left with a stranger in a matter of minutes.
And there I was, alone, sure I could have spoken to other women etc, but I was young, naïve and too foolish.
I caught the bus home, devastated, but it was the wake up call I desperately needed.
Again, are you not sick and tired of feeling sick and tired?
Protect your emotional well-being and reject the friend-zone entirely.
Opportunity Cost:
Spending time and emotional energy on someone who doesn’t reciprocate your romantic feelings can prevent you from pursuing other opportunities for genuine connections and relationships.
This is a very real and scary conundrum, and I am extremely fortunate I learnt to reject the friend-zone in my early 20s.
I know a guy personally who was not so lucky, and get this, he was stuck in the friend-zone chasing the same girl for 10 years!
He hardly dated anybody else.
He never bothered to level up as a man.
He went ALL-IN on a woman who was clearly not interested.
But now this woman is married, and due to his lack of boundaries, they have fallen out, so not only does he not speak to her anymore, he wasted 10 long years getting absolutely nowhere!
You will NEVER get your time back, and was it worth investing all that time and energy for her to just end up with another man?
Potential for Resentment:
Continuing to invest in a friendship with romantic intentions can lead to feelings of resentment if those feelings aren’t reciprocated.
It’s better to address your feelings honestly and either move forward in a romantic relationship or distance yourself to avoid resentment.
Ever heard of the happy ending for the guy who chases a woman who keeps him firmly trapped in the friend-zone?
Bar Hollywood and pure fantasy novels – me neither.
The most bitter and resentful men I have ever met are the men who cannot get what they apparently desire.
And what they apparently desire is exactly what they cannot have, aka a woman who is not interested in them romantically, and most likely for whatever reason never will be.
So, they stomp around frustrated, they are miserable, aggressive, behaving almost like spoilt brats because they cannot get their way.
This is childish, immature, and toxic – considering there are plenty of women out there who WILL date you instead!
The Ultimate Reason to Reject the Friend Zone:
In my honest opinion, if a woman has friend-zoned you, it is because she does not believe you are good enough to date her etc.
I know that hurts, but once you stomach that harsh truth, you are well on your way to rejecting her, and the friendship, and ultimately moving on.
Let me now reveal how to reject the friend-zone in the healthiest and most effective way:
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It is time to do the very thing you are most likely terrified to do, it is time for you to reject the friend zone entirely!
After you do this once, I promise you, every time in the future it will get so much easier.
It’s like any habit, or building muscle in the gym, all it takes is a little bit of practice.
Step One:
Acknowledge that the woman you are interested in dating does not feel the same, and remember that ultimate reason:
She does not think for whatever reason you are good enough.
Now rather than sitting there and crying like a wimp, it’s better to just accept the reality of your situation.
This first step is crucial, because you will emotionally detach from any prospect of things magically turning around – which they most likely will not.
Step Two:
The next step you need to take whilst might sound extremely harsh is necessary:
It’s to end the friendship.
You are rejecting the friendship and the woman too because emotionally you are torn, and it is NOT plutonic.
Do not try kid yourself that you can be plutonic, you clearly find her attractive, and want to date her etc.
So, you can do this in one of two ways:
Cut Immediate Contact
If you are not that close, you can just go no contact, delete the number, block it, and just ghost entirely.
She doesn’t care about your romantic feelings, plus you are not true genuine friends, so what do you care, right?
Remain no contact, even if she reaches out, even if she dangles the carrot, she will NOT change her mind romantically, because if she wanted to date you, you guys would not be friends.
Tell Her It’s Over!
Another way you can reject the friendzone is to just message her or tell her that you do not wish to continue being friends.
Use my famous line: “I don’t want to be just friends, plus I have enough friends, good luck.”
And again, go no contact and remain no contact as well.
Only do this if you genuinely feel she needs to know where you stand and you have already been somewhat “close.”
It’s over!
Step Three:
By this stage you have mentally and emotionally acknowledged what you have to do.
Then you have either told her goodbye, or you have just decided to delete here entirely.
What’s next?
It’s time to do some work on yourself, and to get over your people pleasing nature.
It’s time to invest in yourself, by joining a gym, reading more books, getting out more.
It’s time to expose yourself to more rejections, so you start to become more numb to that pain.
It’s time to turn your life around.
I never had a serious girlfriend in the past for a long time, that was because I stupidly found myself trapped in the friendzone many times.
But after doing the work on myself…
I got more dates!
More life experiences!
Those all made me a wiser man, and eventually got me to win in life, with a stunningly beautiful partner who is the one for me, and far better than ANY other woman I have ever met in my entire life.
You can and will get there too, but only if you follow the steps I have highlighted to finally reject the friend-zone!
#5 – Conclusion
In conclusion, in obvious and simple terms no sane man wants to ever be in the friend zone.
They want a woman to love them, date them, validate them, commit to them etc.
There is no logic, evidence, or data to prove that being in the friend-zone is good for you in any shape or form.
So, detach from it!
Walk away from it!
Reject it!
It could be the start of the very next stage of your best life, where you do not get rejected any more, and the right woman comes along for you.
Imagine that!
Because that is the reality, and with enough practice, patience and you doing the work, you will get there in the end!