What Walking Away Does to The People You Left Behind
Have you ever wondered what walking away actually does to the people you have left behind?
Well strap yourself in, because as somebody who is a seasoned expert in this topic, I will reveal just exactly what to expect happens to them, especially if those people were toxic and disrespectful towards you.
First, let me start by congratulating you on making the bold, brave, and correct decision of walking away from the wrong people.
In most cases, the wrong people are perhaps romantic partners.
So rather than staying in misery, despair, frustration, anger, and resentment, you decided enough was enough and walked away.
That’s not easy, nor is it straightforward.
From an emotional standpoint, you are basically breaking your own heart, and theirs to a degree by walking away.
Then there is the entire ordeal of finding accommodation, because most likely you rented or even owned a home together.
You either book yourself into a crappy Hotel, or go back to your parents, or worse case go and sleep on your friend’s sofa-bed that very night you walk away.
Because walking away MEANS walking away, it doesn’t mean kicking them out per say, they will never leave!
You have to be the one.
You have to take the initiative.
You have got to leave THEM.
As you lay down wide awake in the night with your adrenaline pumping through your body after FINALLY walking away, it almost feels so surreal.
You are out now, it’s over, you have finally told them enough is enough.
You ponder to yourself all those arguments, all the disappointments, all the times you had been let down, hurt, frustrated, all the times you got nowhere with them too.
It’s a strange but extremely special experience.
To be AWAY from THAT PERSON, aka THAT PERSON who was WRONG for you.
And the biggest takeaway from this entire experience and the most powerful lesson you can adopt is the following:
You walked away because you will NEVER be good enough for that person.
That person was wrong for you, and you were wrong for them too, so you actually are doing them a favour with your action and decision.
For the sake of this content, I will focus primarily on romantic partners you have walked away from, but you can certainly apply elements and scenarios to most other people as well.
The Leading Voice on Walking Away!
Not to brag, but I have created 100s of videos on the very topic of Walking Away on YouTube.
I have heavily and intensely researched this sensitive subject, plus I have experienced it many times in my personal life.
I am the leading voice on walking away, and I believe I can really help and guide you through this process.
It all started when I did exactly what you did, I walked away from the wrong partner.
To summarize her best, she was entitled, rude, disrespectful, immature, and so toxic.
Every moment I spent dating her and trying to have a relationship with her as well felt like being shot in the stomach and heart.
I just knew and felt she was so wrong for me, we clashed on so many things, we argued almost daily, and we fought ugly too.
There was just no saving us, there was no fixing things, we were SO WRONG for one another, and trust me she was NEVER going to leave me.
So, I had to be the one to do so, I had to be the one to step up and make a change, I had to be the one to walk away.
Nobody helped me or guided me.
Truthfully, I had no idea what I was doing at the time!
However, all I know is that it was my destiny to walk away, to heal, to recover, because it gave me the immense wisdom, I now possess to pass on the message to you, and many other people.
To be honest, it was like learning how to drive a car without any lessons!
It was crazy, but I followed my gut instinct, I listened to nobody but myself, and I stayed strong, and stayed away, and moved on.
The thousands of people who have engaged and gained value from my content have all had such amazing progress by following my advice.
That is because they too needed to have the courage to make that difficult decision of walking away forever.
By the way, nobody else is going to congratulate you on this.
Instead, they will make you doubt your decision.
They will make you feel like you are making a huge mistake.
Drown out that noise, silence them, be cautious of who you tell, and how often you discuss your walking away decision with other people – that’s because most other people never walk away, they stay and endure terrible and toxic people for the rest of their lives.
But more importantly, you really want to know exactly what your decision of walking away does to those you leave behind, but before I reveal that and more, I need to tell you something extremely important.
You Should NOT Care!
Whether the person you have walked away from has shaved their head, got your face tattooed on their butt, or written countless love songs and poems about you, here is the most important thing to remember:
YOU SHOULD NOT CARE!
People sadly often get this very confused when it comes to the act and decision of walking away, and let me give you a prime example.
When I was in that toxic relationship in the past, truthfully, I walked away TWO TIMES!
We dated for around four years, and I walked away the first time just after our one-year anniversary together.
Because she had tipped me over the edge.
I had enough finally.
And I wanted out.
But that first time I broke up with her and walked away was handled abysmally by me, for one fundamental reason above anything else:
I walked away with the motivation and desire to get her to change how she treated me.
I genuinely believed by breaking up with her and walking out of the relationship, that something would shift in her mentally and emotionally.
That suddenly she would become more mature – but she didn’t.
That suddenly she would behave in a less toxic manner – she didn’t.
That suddenly she would be more understanding and have empathy – she didn’t.
She gaslighted me after a few months promising me the world and more, and insisting to me that she had finally “changed!”
So, I took her back, stupidly, which was easily one of the worst decisions of my entire life.
And we went on to waste several MORE years together, in round two of the worse relationship you could imagine.
The point I am trying to make here is I walked away to try get her to be more respectful and treat me better.
But that never happened.
And was never going to happen either.
Because you will NEVER be good enough for the wrong person, EVER!
Please do not use this content as inspiration to get those you walk away from to finally “see the light” and have personal transformation.
Instead walk away so you can stay away and move on.
And use the information I am going to provide here for your own personal curiosity, aka what happens to them after you have left….
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#1 – The Dread
Even the most narcissistic, self-involved, entitled, and arrogant person will feel an overwhelming sense of dread after you walk away from them.
Basically, the fear of loss.
When toxic people are angry and say things out of emotions, in the heat of the moment, there is rarely ever any real weight behind it.
Its like hot air, coming in your direction, and if you are not careful it can and might burn your face off!
If they are saying with aggression horrible statements like the following:
“Go ahead and leave, see if I care!”
“I don’t care if we break up!”
“I never loved you to begin with!”
“Leave, and I will move on ASAP!”
Believe it or not, most of the time they are bluffing, and as I always encourage in these situations and especially with these people = CALL THEIR BLUFF!
Let’s picture the scene, after you’ve walked away, and perhaps a few days, weeks, or months have gone by, what are they thinking, feeling and what is happening to them?!
The Overwhelming Dread:
Have you ever had something come up in your life that you have awful anxiety about?
Such as a company presentation to conduct completely on your own in front of your directors.
Or perhaps you must make a speech at a wedding or special event, and public speaking is certainly NOT for you.
Or maybe you are awaiting news of a test or exam result, and you drive yourself crazy with your overthinking and state of panic.
That is dread, that is anxiety.
And THAT is what THEY are thinking and what is happening to them.
Maybe they are in bed completely alone, and they turn to their side and see an empty pillow and space entirely…
Maybe they reach for their phone and realise no matter how many times they call and text you, that you are just not going to answer…
Maybe they are out and about and hear a song that you loved, see a movie that reminds them of you, or bump into a mutual friend…
Trust me, it hits them like a tonne of bricks!
An overwhelming sense of dread and fear.
Where they are saying to themselves internally for nobody to hear: “Dear God what have I done…they really are gone…”
Immense Sense of Loss
A woman I know personally walked away from her relationship of seven years as her partner was just a complete waste of time.
He was childish, immature, and impulsive.
He was a liar, and he cheated on her.
He was lazy, entitled, and rude.
She put up with it for so long, and was so patient until enough was enough, and she finally had the courage and strength to walk away.
After doing so, her now toxic-ex was going through the motions, and said the following to her in separate messages before she blocked him entirely:
“Who is going to look after me now and cook for me?”
“What if I never find another girlfriend like you ever again?”
“What if I am going to be alone for the rest of my life?”
“Who is going to look after all the bills, the shopping too?”
This particular toxic man was clearly NOT independent, and actually relied on his girlfriend for more than you’d imagine.
And unsurprisingly after she finally walked away, HE FELT LOST!
So lost that he moved back in with his parents, and has stayed there since, whilst she has moved on, and settled down with a REAL man, and couldn’t be happier.
What They Have Lost
I am not exaggerating when I say and insist this, but truthfully you really were the best they ever had, and will ever have too.
You put up with them, and had the self-awareness to notice and realise that you deserved so much better.
You begged and pleaded and communicated also that you were not accepting of their treatment towards you.
But it all fell on deaf ears, they took advantage, pushed you further and further to breaking point until you snapped.
They NEVER imagined you would EVER leave them.
How wrong were they.
In this period of loss and dread, they find themselves spiralling by over or undereating, smoking, taking drugs, partying to all hours.
To try numb the pain, which they inflicted on themselves.
The pain of losing the best partner they could have asked for, and the dread that actually it was all their own fault all along.
Next, I will go into far greater detail about the spiralling stage that follows the feeling of loss and dread after you walk away:
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#2 – Spiralling
The people you leave behind after you walk away, cut contact, remain no contact and move on romantically WILL most likely completely and utterly spiral.
But the reason they do so, may surprise you!
What Actually is Emotionally Spiralling?
Emotional spiralling is like going on a roller coaster ride with your feelings.
It’s when you start feeling really upset about something, and then it seems like everything else starts going wrong too.
It’s the perception that the entire world is somewhat against you.
Your emotions can feel out of control, swinging from sad to angry to anxious all at once.
That is EXACTLY what happens to the people you leave behind, and if you thought they were out of control when they dated you, think again.
The Crocodile Tears
When I first walked away (and failed to stay away) in my former toxic relationship, I honestly could have made a movie about how my ex-partner conducted themselves.
Truthfully, I was so naïve at the time, and couldn’t see it coming because I genuinely believed that she was as miserable as I was when we argued and wanted to break up.
But it started a few weeks after, and the fundamental mistake I made was never going no contact with them.
I remember answering my phone without looking at who was calling me, to her sobbing like a baby on the other line:
“PLEASE TAKE ME BACK! PLEASE I AM BEGGING YOU! I CANNOT STOP CRYING!”
Then a week or so later, I was at a football match and answered my phone again:
“PLEASE TAKE ME BACK! PLEASE I AM BEGGING YOU! I CANNOT STOP CRYING! I WILL DO ANYTHING YOU ASK!”
I tried remaining strong and so stoic, but the cracks were beginning to show.
Then amazingly, one winters evening I was sat in the front room of my parent’s house as we were all watching television together, and then I heard loud sobbing coming from outside.
My heart sank…
Could it be?
No way…
It was my ex, standing outside in the cold crying, to which my parents let her in, made her a cup of tea to warm up and insisted that we both “sort things out properly.”
I took her back after that moment, and as you already know I wasted more years of my life with the wrong person.
But the frightening thing about this entire situation was this – it was all an act by her!
Master Manipulators
Toxic people are MASTER manipulators, and if you are not careful, they can persuade you into just about doing anything they want!
All those phone calls and emails and texts she sent, not to mention the gifts were all an act.
An act to get me to feel guilty.
To make me change my mind.
To make me go back again.
Stupidly by me it worked, she got me back, for round two of the worst romantic relationship you could begin to imagine.
Walking away set something off in her brain, something that never would have happened had I stayed and endured more of HER behaviour.
It cut off the attention I gave her.
It cut off my physical presence I gave her.
It cut off just having somebody in her life.
And without that, she spiralled, because she fed off my attention, aka my supply, the fact I would react to her behaviour, or call her out on things, or just you know be her partner.
It’s quite jarring and frightening when you finally realise this.
They don’t miss you; they miss the idea of you, they miss their perception of you.
You might have dated them for 20 years, but they have absolutely no idea who you really are, what makes you tick, what turns you on or off, what makes you happy etc.
Let me use an extreme and relevant example:
Have you ever met somebody who is addicted to something and then watched them go cold turkey overnight?
Let’s say they decide to give up cigarettes after smoking packets daily for years.
They will certainly spiral.
With major withdrawals.
And if they are not careful, they might find themselves slowly and eventually becoming addicted to something else entirely, like alcohol, gambling etc.
But that spiralling stage even in an addict, and I can comment on this because I was a former addict as well, is because of withdrawal.
Not getting what you think you want.
And the people you have left behind THINK they want you and need you.
Just so they can ultimately annoy, hurt, and frustrate you all over again once more.
Next, I will touch on the rage and anger they will experience and demonstrate after you have walked away from them:
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#3 – Rage Unleashed!
Imagine you are walking around in a supermarket and you see a parent fighting with their child who is undoubtably a spoilt brat.
The nasty and disobedient child knows they can get their way, especially in public, by creating an almighty scene.
Say in this instance the child wants some candy, and the parent has rightly refused to buy candy in the store.
You know what comes next…
The child screams, shouts at the top of their lungs, humiliating the parent who just simply wanted to go grocery shopping.
The tantrum is so bad that everybody stops and stares at the incident, to the point where (depending on the parent), they either cave in, or they drag the child outside until they calm down.
Why am I mentioning this you might be asking?
Adults can have tantrums no dissimilar to a child who cannot get their own way.
They can scream and shout.
They can cause an almighty scene.
They can embarrass and humiliate.
All because of one sole purpose, and that is to get what they want, and in this instance aka after you have walked away, you have unleashed (I am sorry to tell you) a very ugly beast in them.
Let me share a personal example:
The toxic woman I dated in the past who I HAD to walk away from, had glaring red flags right at the beginning of the relationship.
I was raised by my parents to be kind, polite, respectful, and patient.
She however was raised to be impolite, rude, spoilt, and extremely entitled.
Time after time whenever we were together, she would subtly hint: “I always get what I want.”
It baffled me that a woman in her 30s would talk so boldly and arrogantly, but she was being brutally honest:
“I always get whatever I want, my parents are soft, and I have them wrapped round my little finger.”
I was so dumb and naïve that I never saw what was coming in my future dating her.
Long story short, she was setting me up for more pain and suffering in the many, many instances she never got her way.
I saw adult tantrums that will haunt me for the rest of my life.
The worst being her storming out of a lavish restaurant on vacation for no apparent reason before we even ordered our food!
The Rage After You Leave Them!
So hopefully by now you have a rough idea as to how these toxic and difficult people are no different to a spoilt child not getting candy from their parent.
Therefore, by you walking away, and as they go through their own weird and twisted, you should know that they will be angrier than you would ever begin to imagine.
It’s a strange anger, an entitled, arrogant and narcissistic rage!
Narcissistic rage in its simplest terms is the following = They might get really angry if someone disagrees with them or doesn’t give them the attention they think they deserve.
It’s like they explode with anger because they feel hurt that people aren’t treating them like they’re special.
Think back to what my toxic ex was saying about herself and how she treated people and especially her parents:
“I always get whatever I want…”
Aka I am so special and deserve to be treated almost like royalty.
“My parents are soft and I have them wrapped round my little finger.”
Aka I am manipulative and know just what to say and do to get whatever I want from people.
Yikes!
Walking Away is the Ultimate Rejection!
But in this particular context shutting off the supply, aka your attention, you as a person physically, mentally, emotionally etc, is the ultimate rejection.
Actually, it’s almost like the ultimate punishment for the most disobedient and obnoxious adult ever.
After all, family must put up (most of the times) with their toxic children etc.
But I don’t have to, and certainly you don’t have to either.
Therefore, unlike the people they manipulate around them, aka those who they have “wrapped around their little finger,” walking away basically tells them where to go.
That you will not tolerate ANY of their nonsense…That you will not even give them a slither of attention anymore.
And in their rage, they humiliate themselves, their family, and most likely whatever stupid friends they socialise with as well.
They may TRY to get in touch with you, and unleash their anger etc.
But if you have gone and remained no contact and instilled your healthy boundaries, most likely all you will get is a drunk text off a random number or maybe an email that will go to your spam.
They are rageful because they are adult spoilt brats, and frankly it’s pathetic.
Finally, I will be discussing and revealing the switch that goes off inside them after you walk away.
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#4 – The Switch
I am going to reveal to you a powerful and very unknown secret that most likely you have never heard before in your life regarding this very topic:
Nobody can switch their emotions off and change as quickly as a toxic person.
The funny thing is here you have actually heard this story through people you know, celebrities etc, but maybe you have never noticed it before.
For example, let’s say you hear the news of a couple you assumed on the outside looked like the perfect match have split up suddenly, and one of them has moved on extremely quickly.
Despite them let’s say originally being together for almost ten years.
That is the switch.
After they’ve had the dread, the spiralling and the rage, they switch off their emotions and become the entitled and obnoxious people they are deep down below the surface.
Don’t believe me?
Well, let me tell you this now, I have seen it with my own eyes, not just with ex-partners but even with friends and family.
Their mood suddenly changes, and their guilt has subsided, or at least their own twisted version of guilt.
They don’t care anymore and like a lion ready to hunt it’s next prey they are out there ready to target their next victim.
You never existed anymore.
You are the enemy now.
You are completely dead to them.
The Strangest Bitterest Pill
We can be very interesting sometimes as people, because maybe in someway we enjoyed them suffering without us, spiralling etc.
Maybe it reinforced our decision to walk away in the first place even more!
However when the attempts and the spiralling etc stops, these people have switched you off in their minds, emotions and more.
It can be a bitter pill, because we might almost get somewhat addicted to their suffering, aka it makes us feel good about ourselves as its kind of like revenge too.
However, you must remember…
THAT IS NOT WHY YOU HAVE WALKED AWAY!
You walked away to switch them off from your heart, mind and soul.
They’ve just most likely finally caught up!
Back to Their Old Ways!
After you have walked away from them and after they have switched you off entirely, they are going to very quickly slip back into their old ways.
And by old ways I am referring to what they were like when they first met you.
They may invest a tonne of money in clothes, makeup, a new car etc to revamp that superficial image they like to hold.
They are straight back into online dating, especially dating apps, hunting like a shark for their next prey to take down.
By this stage you are now an afterthought, a distant memory, and the shocking thing about this is actually this can happen literally overnight!
How They Switch You Off!
The toxic person you have walked away from will go to bed one evening, maybe still annoyed and frustrated that you have shut them out completely.
“I HATE THEM! I HATE WHAT THEY ARE DOING TO ME! I WANT MY OWN WAY!” they fester and brood as they eventually and finally fall asleep.
And then they wake up and say “FORGET THEM! THEY ARE DEAD TO ME! HOW DARE THEY DO THIS TO ME! I AM MOVING ON! I AM AMAZING! I AM SPECIAL! I WILL DO BETTER THAN THEM!”
That is literally it!
There is the switch!
That’s how they move on, and before you know it, there they are flirting and talking to a brand-new potential victim on a dating app, or out at a bar, who is known the wiser to what these people are truly capable of.
The War is Over!
Dating a toxic person is like a constant battle, where you go back and forth with one another always trying to get along and ultimately find some middle ground.
But when that switch occurs in them, and trust me it eventually will…
The battles and fights are officially put to rest.
The war is over!
The war between you and that toxic and difficult person is over forever.
I have sadly seen many people buckle because they have gotten strangely addicted and reliant on their toxic ex harping on about them and feeling upset that the relationship is over.
You MUST stay strong!
You MUST remain strong!
You walked away for a reason!
Never to manipulate the other person and revel in their misery, but instead to move on and hopefully live your best life in the process…
#5 – In Conclusion
In conclusion, walking away does quite a lot to the people you leave behind, and frankly they deserve it too.
Because ultimately if they were kind, considerate, loyal, respectful, willing to compromise etc, you would not be walking away from them.
But regardless of how they conduct themselves, what they are thinking, how they are behaving etc….
Walk away please to move on.
Walk away please to heal.
Walk away please to recover.
Do not ever think you are doing this as part of some divine and glorious purpose where that toxic person finally see’s the light and makes a change for the better.
IF they do, good luck to them, it is NONE of your business any longer.
Move on, and walk away to go and live your best life ever, ideally with good and genuine people who want the best for you instead.
Walk away from your past forever, and let it go.