“Dating is about finding out who you are and who others are….”
Dating mistakes, or mistakes in general, who doesn’t make them am I right?
I was talking to a female friend who was really annoyed and distraught about being single.
She said the usual stuff “why can’t I find a good guy etc?”
It inspired me to do the video above, and also this blog post.
I sat down over a coffee one afternoon and researched and thought back throughout my life all of the times I had dates etc.
I fortunately for you the reader had plenty of dating experience.
So this post and the video really truly belongs to those women who are looking for something serious.
Aka the women who want to settle down, have a good prosperous and ultimately healthy relationship.
Be warned there are several things I’ve missed out on the list.
One is women who are extreme feminists and hate men – they will need luck to find any good guy to settle down with them.
Secondly, be wary of friends who are single and encouraging you to do so.
Just because they’d jump off a bridge you would too?
Sadly people are very envious and jealous these days, and it is their problem they cannot attract a guy.
It doesn’t mean you should buy into that negative way of thinking.
Anyway rant over, let us begin:
#1 – Thinking you will find love by doing nothing
Do not get me wrong I am a huge law of attraction fan.
But actions will always speak louder than any words.
This is a fact.
So if you are sitting on your ass on Instagram thinking some guy is just going to knock on your door and beg you to go out with him – you are kind of right.
But instead if you are networking, meeting new people and perhaps doing online dating, then that is significantly better.
Here is why.
If a guy randomly approaches you, it is because he finds you attractive.
But he doesn’t know you at all, and he has based it on looks alone.
You will attract narcissists and toxic men as a result of this.
It is better to get off your backside and put yourself in a vulnerable position, like a bar or singles night.
You never know who you might meet, but you won’t find it at home watching Netflix.
#2 – Too Possessive
Ladies, we men love the fact you care.
But being too over bearing and possessive is a big turn off for us.
Guys or at least good guys are really simple dudes.
We like to watch sports, see mates, chill, watch a video online, and play a video game.
Whilst we love being with you, our space is very important to us.
Robbing us of that, or being a bit too much can kill attraction, and more problems.
#3 – Too Impatient
Be wary of men who want to jump straight into a relationship after the first or second date, they are most likely narcissists.
However, if you are being too full on discussing marriage or kids and you haven’t even spent the night together you are going to scare a guy off.
I am not saying play it too cool, but don’t go all in and rush things so fast.
Love takes time, but if you are on the same page and enjoy each other’s company just enjoy the ride.
Life and the attraction between you will blossom more naturally that way.
#4 – Modern dating is to blame
Ladies, modern dating has been responsible for more relationships happening every single day.
What was once seen as taboo is now the norm.
So stop blaming it, times have changed.
People are finding the love of their lives on apps, and websites.
It is perfectly normal, there is no stigma.
And also if you don’t like them you can just un-match or block them!
It is easier than ever to meet people thanks to the internet, so stop being so stiff about it and get with the times!
#5 – Loving an ideal over a person
A huge mistake most people make is they love the ideal over the person.
Just because a man is good looking, got a good job, or looks great in a suit does not make him the right person for you.
Most women are focusing more on the fact that the idea of having a boyfriend is better than the person they are actually with.
My advice is to get to know the person first, they may look good on paper, but ultimately they may not be a good match for you.
#6 – Not being on the same page
You will NEVER be good enough for the wrong person.
So if from the early stages you are forcing or trying to convince somebody to date you or commit to you, unfortunately you are in for a rough road ahead.
Most people never change their minds, and a man can be very stubborn.
So if you force a guy to commit and then a year or two later are surprised you are still not married, what did you expect?
Highlight your intentions early on and lay them all on the table.
That way you can have less of an issue in the future, and more of an opportunity for a blossoming healthy relationship.
#7 – Playing games
Whoever told you that game playing is attractive to guys is wrong.
Whilst playing hard to get is nice for teenagers, for most adults and serious people who want to date, any signs of games will repel a good man.
So stay clear of ghosting, taking ages to reply, trying to make him jealous and so on.
Remember you want to attract a good man, not the wrong type of man.
Most men often tell their friends how they cannot stand a woman who plays any type of games.
Ignore the advice that encourages it, don’t play.
#8 – High maintenance
Nobody likes a spoilt princess or a drama queen.
I get it, you can have standards but if you are a bit TOO over the top with your demands and requirements, then it can certainly have a detrimental effect on your relationship and dating.
Do not get me wrong, men love to spoil their partners, but in doses.
Constantly being demanding about expensive gifts etc, is a sure fire way to turn a man off.
It is also a form of narcissism, and trust me nobody wants to be around that.
#9 – Acting single when you are committed
So you finally get into a relationship or seriously dating one guy.
Yet you are still out partying to all hours, drinking excessively, or flirting openly with other men like you are single.
This is not only a huge red flag, but a massive turn off for most men.
When you are committed stop partying as much, stop acting like a singleton.
Hopefully you have found the one now, so stay committed.
#10 – Flakiness
If you asked most guys what is a huge turn off for them when it comes to dating, flakiness will be near enough the top of the list.
Ladies, if you can’t make a decision say so.
If you cannot commit say so.
Nothing will ruin your chances of a good relationship more than being unable to commit or being flaky.
It is a massive downside to a blossoming relationship or first interaction.
If you are flaky there is a chance you will be left aside for somebody else.