Has your man just dumped you without warning?
Watch the video above to find out the right way to make him miss you!
Has your man just dumped you without warning?
Watch the video above to find out the right way to make him miss you!
“Two things you will never have to chase: True friends & true love.”
One of my favourite cartoons growing up was the Road Runner and Wile Coyote.
I just really wanted him to finally catch the Road Runner!
He would try everything, spend loads of money buying items that ultimately got him injured or hurt.
And whilst we would all laugh at his failures, we would feel attached to his pursuit!
Because people love a chase.
People love games.
People think chasing is sexy.
Not just in a romantic sense, but in almost everything!
The ones who are hard to get, they just seem so much more beautiful and attractive.
However, like the quote above you should not have to chase true friends or love.
When we have worth as human beings, in a social sense, only the people that want what is best for you will see that.
You will NEVER be enough for the wrong person.
You will NEVER make a miserable person happy.
You will NEVER have a healthy life with an unhealthy person.
And by unhealthy I mean mentally, aka toxic and narcissistic individuals.
How could you possibly have a good life when somebody like that has no empathy, no sympathy, and no understanding of the emotional support you really need?
For over two decades, I have chased everybody in my life.
All my friends, all my relationships, women, casual sex, you name it.
And to what avail?
To what purpose?
To get stabbed in the back, to be lied to, to be cheated on, to be abused and mistreated.
By those who were the closest to me, and those I loved and adored.
So when I walked away from my narcissistic relationship of several years in 2019, I made myself a solid promise that I would always stick to;
“I will NEVER chase anybody ever again.”
This statement sent a massive shockwave to the remaining narcissists and toxic people in my life.
They found it incredible I had the inner strength to walk away from a toxic relationship, and to remain no contact with my ex narcissist.
These silent enemies could not believe how tough I was, and how I was able to set healthy boundaries and stand up for myself.
That is where further abuse unfolded.
People ridiculed me.
People questioned me.
People tried to play games with me.
People tried to embarrass me.
And worst of all my former best friend took it too far.
He decided to act cold and distant, knowing that I had told him I wouldn’t be chasing.
He purposely ignored my calls, my texts to hang out, and speak.
He cancelled plans last minute.
But unlike my former self, I didn’t chase, I just moved on.
I was then greeted with narcissistic rage, and abuse by this former friend.
He insulted me, abused me, to which I walked away and have never spoken to him since, despite him begging me to forgive him, and him insisting I was just “oversensitive.”
Wrong – he is just another toxic person.
Having standards, having boundaries will make you a lone wolf.
You will become VERY aware of peoples toxic behaviour and their ability to manipulate and abuse almost everybody around them.
But not me – and not you.
Because I do not chase.
I might meet the most beautiful woman.
But if she acts entitled, rude or disrespectful.
I won’t chase.
I might meet a nice dude to grab a beer with.
But if he starts acting like a douche, is rude, the usual.
I won’t chase.
If people won’t invite me out, or make an effort with me because they don’t value me.
I won’t chase.
I will instead chase my goals.
I will instead chase my dreams.
I will instead chase the truth – and the truth sets me free.
In the western world, we live in the most narcissistic and toxic woke culture I have ever seen.
I don’t subscribe to it.
I am perfectly fine eating a steak alone on a Saturday night listening to Jazz at peace.
What’s the alternative?
However, as I improve my life, and my standards so do the people around me.
I have seen better quality people become attracted to me.
I have seen better results.
I think clearer, and more like a winner.
The doubts, the negativity, the insecurity.
These are being caused by the awful people you have chased and forced yourself to be surrounded by.
At 21 I would feel insecure by not being allowed or invited to the hottest parties in town!
Or that my friends would get girls and I would fail.
Now with my experience, my gratitude I radiate abundance.
I know exactly what I enjoy, and exactly what I don’t.
I will no longer force myself into situations or with people who I just do not have a connection with.
I am the prize, I am the wise, and I am the winner.
Winners win – losers lose.
Winners don’t chase anybody, they pursue their purpose in life.
And with that, they attract people and situations that will compliment them along their journey.
I believe I will find the right partner who will improve my life.
I believe better friends will come my way, and so on.
Time makes all toxic and narcissistic friends lose in the end.
I am patient, I am knowing how life pans out.
I don’t give up, I still work hard, and I train and do not cry in my basement.
I still pursue women, I ask them out and if I get rejected I know it’s all a journey.
And if I see red flags, I block and delete.
I do not chase the wrong people.
I do not chase the wrong things.
I do not chase toxicity.
If you want to truly change your life, especially if you are suffering from the anxiety of being ghosted, feeling left out, being disrespected.
Stop chasing people, it is NOT worth it.
What is more, do not be surprised for these people to come BACK into your life chasing you.
Do not accept their requests.
Those who know your worth, don’t play games.
That is why I am ruthless with dating.
Because I know what it is like dating the wrong type of person – not pretty?
Chase a better life – not a person.
Would it surprise you that being in love has the same biological effects as being addicted to cocaine?!
Watch the video above to find out more amazing facts about love!
“And what about the lovers who spend hours staring into each other’s eyes?”
When you catch a pretty girl looking at you, do you do any of the following?
Don’t worry you are not alone, I was like you and the above mentioned was everything I would do in that situation.
I guess I was never really properly educated into how to act in situations like that, so I just did what I felt was right.
Unfortunately whatever I felt was “right” was oh so wrong.
Here is the truth, if you see a cute girl looking over at you, chances are she is into you.
Yes you read that correctly, she finds you attractive and she wants to get to know you.
9 times out of 10, if she is glancing at you, playing with her hair, or smirking a little at you, it is because she wants you to notice her.
Yes there are times where girls may be playing with you, but most of the time she likes what she sees.
And that’s YOU buddy!
So the first thing you need to do is bloody look back!
Do NOT hesitate, or overcomplicate it at all, LOOK BACK.
By doing this, it shows you are confident, and you are willing to let her know the following with your eyes;
“Yes I see you looking at me….and you caught my attention…now here I am…”
Do not underestimate the importance of body language – EVER!
And as well as looking back, you of course need to smile too.
But do not smirk, frown, give a creepy smile back at all.
Be relaxed, be chill and just let her know you are welcoming, safe and cool.
By going over the top with your smiling can actually ruin the attraction, so just keep it chilled.
Then as you are looking at each other make sure you maintain eye contact for as long as possible.
So if you are with your friends at a bar, make sure you still talk to them and then occasionally glance over to see if the girl is looking at you still.
Do NOT just outright stare at her!
This is creepy territory, and we don’t need to go there ok?
So for a couple of minutes (don’t time it), smile back in her direction from time to time and then next do probably most important step where most guys don’t;
Women will always fall head over heels for a dude that goes after what he wants.
Forget those who tell you otherwise – they know nothing.
A woman loves an ambitious and fearless man.
And walking up to her after eye contact makes you stand out above the rest of the chasing pack.
Men who make moves, men who go for it, men who do not fear rejection are more attractive – always.
And as you approach her with confidence you reach your hand out and shake hers;
“Hey, I’m SCG by the way….”
It is the easiest opener, because she knows who you are already by looking at you.
She just didn’t know your name, and it from then onwards it is down to you to close.
Do not listen to any other advice on this, I’ve tried them all and none of it worked.
Try it next time you see a pretty girl looking at you.
“Dating is about finding out who you are and who others are.”
In the simplest of terms, dating has become a real nightmare for most people.
They cannot stand doing the dates, the apps, the drinks, the awkward dinners, and so on.
Yet people keep on doing it, and hooking up with strangers all because they cannot handle for example the embarrassment of turning up to their siblings wedding with no date in their arms.
The truth of the matter is dating should not be too complicated, but there are so many factors that have made it so – toxic friends, TV and overall bad advice.
Remember this, and share it with somebody who really needs to read this;
YOU WILL NEVER BE GOOD ENOUGH FOR THE WRONG PERSON.
There I said it, happy now?
If your partner is toxic, narcissistic, a sociopath or sees themselves as better than you, there is nothing you can do to change that.
If they do not see the value that you truly provide, how attractive you are, agree with your morals, or even what movie to go watch.
They are NOT right for you.
When people do not see your value understand this one fundamental truth:
THEY ARE NOT FOR YOU.
Yes, let’s get spiritual here, and look at the bigger picture.
A good healthy relationship blossoms, and grows and expands for a lifetime of happiness.
A toxic one feels forced, difficult, hard, destructive and painful.
Yet people pursue them because they don’t want to be alone?
The loneliest I have ever felt my entire life was being in a relationship with somebody that was not right for me.
You also must understand that this wrong person we date or are in a relationship with has no right to step up to our own standards either.
We cannot expect a toxic individual or a bad match to love us the way we want and need them too.
That is like asking a horse to be a racing car.
A leopard doesn’t change its spots, and you are chasing and pursuing something that is wrong.
I was like you, I absolutely loathed dating and being single.
I hated the apps, the hook-up culture, the drinks, the meals, the freaks and weirdos.
I hated not having anybody to love and cuddle me, no intimate relationships and so on.
Yes it sucked for me, and I am pretty sure you feel the same way.
But like I did, you have the power and ability to change your dating life right now.
The thing is from our parents to our ancestors we truly haven’t learnt the right way to approach love and relationships.
Let us be honest here, were winging it.
We don’t really have a clue what we are doing, and we watch movies and television fantasizing when we have no idea what the right step to take is!
Just because you are a good person doesn’t mean you deserve a good relationship to fall into your lap and just magically happen, you have to instead adjust your approach.
There is a more effective and simple way to look at dating, compared to what the masses are doing and whoever is advising you.
Please stop listening to them and follow exactly what I say:
Stop wasting your time.
Yes, you heard me.
Stop going out with the wrong type of people, chasing the wrong people, attracting the wrong people.
Stop doing what others think is cool, or works for them.
Chase what is meaningful to have a meaningful life.
Just because your friend is a player, or she wraps men around her finger and strings them along doesn’t mean you need to do that too.
How many times have you met somebody and even though that you liked them, but in the real depths of your stomach or your soul you knew “this person isn’t right for me.”
And what do we do, we still persist.
We don’t want to be alone, or single or without “love.”
And down the line it only gets worse because you have been flogging that dead horse that was never supposed to go beyond a handful of dates if that.
You find yourself married or living with somebody that doesn’t truly make you happy, or make your life better.
They don’t connect with you, on any level and you are mentally, spiritually and emotionally starved.
But it was better than being alone right?
You end up fat, old, miserable and in divorce court most likely.
It all comes from wasting your time, this is the root cause of all of these problems.
Stop wasting your time.
Yes while there are lessons to learn in relationships and failures are the greatest teachers.
But if the answer is staring at you in the face and you take no action what the hell is wrong with you?
It is like getting punched in the face – yes it hurts, yes it is awful, yes it is unacceptable.
But you stay, and day after day this bad relationship keeps punching you in the face.
And there you are just taking it, and taking it, and then you moan that you are unhappy?
Well you wasted your time chasing something not right for you or that was wrong.
Because you didn’t want to sit alone at a wedding?
Or perhaps your confidence was so in the floor you thought you couldn’t do better?
Or perhaps your family or friends pressured you and you didn’t know what else to do?
Take responsibility and stop wasting your damn time on people and things that will only lead to toxic, negative results.
There is no good pursuing something that is not worthwhile, and the universe will send you an even bigger punch in the face if you are not careful and going along the path you were meant to be on.
Yes there are nights alone, yes it can hurt post break up.
But being in a relationship where you are alone, unfulfilled is worse.
And the time you invest in that you will never recover, and above all else in life all we truly ever have is time.
How are you going to use yours?
“Laughter is the best medicine.”
It has occurred to me over the last few years that a lot guys believe most women they are interested in are all serious and dull.
Like they are these mature creatures who always take themselves too seriously.
And as a result, the guys decide to do the same and mirror this fake seriousness.
What this ends up doing is resulting in a desperate guy getting nervous, trying too hard and ultimately turning the woman off.
You DON’T want to be that guy.
And if you are that guy STOP IT!
Laughter can be a huge attraction boost to all types of men from all walks of life.
Luckily for me I was always into stand-up comedy from a young age, and have grown up into the type of guy who tries to see the humour in most things.
All my past girlfriends have always found me hilarious – sorry to toot my own horn.
However when I was a teenager I went a little too overboard on the comedy, and women used to see me as just the funny guy, until I fixed other aspects of my personality.
So it’s a balance I believe of confidence and humour.
Humour can come from exerting confidence, and vice versa.
Why this is attractive to a woman is it shows bravery and a unique important personality trait.
A woman is hardly ever attracted to the boring serious dude that offers nothing interesting or fun.
However in contrast she cannot stop thinking about the guy she laughed and smiled with and like a drug becomes almost infatuated with him too.
You want to focus on being that guy, and forget those telling you to be completely dark and serious all the time.
Adding in humour amongst the mix will make you a really attractive man for most women out there.
Also you don’t want to be JUST the funny guy aka the Joker or the Clown.
You want to be attractive, confident, forward but with a wicked sense of humour.
Let us discuss the tips you want to add to your dating arsenal in how to make a woman laugh:
Most guys go straight in with the jokes right off the bat, and whilst this is not a bad approach it is better to make a woman smile first.
I’ve always been a natural charmer, I learnt it from my father.
So if I was on a date I’d tell her “you look absolutely stunning tonight, thanks for making the effort for little old me,” and I’d laugh.
She will love a comment like that because you are appreciating her beauty but at the same time adding a tiny hint of humour behind it.
By loosening her up with a smile you are more likely to do so for her laughing too.
Dude it’s a date, not a funeral!
You do NOT have to be so serious and on edge.
She will detect your nervousness, and you will reek of anxiety – not pretty.
Instead take it easy, relax and laugh at things yourself.
Don’t go full on Joker mode and giggle at everything nervously, laugh at the situation!
I’ve laughed at meeting a girl off Tinder countless times, because it’s mad if you think about it.
I’d say “this is crazy! Meeting a stranger online, what are we thinking?”
That worked every time for me!
In preparation for a date I would feel nervous about I’d go work out in the gym, or have a shot of vodka to ease the tension.
Remember the more you date, the more you become naturally relaxed!
I am sure you are sick to death of hearing this but being confident is the difference between the guy that gets the girl, and the one that doesn’t.
And by being relaxed and confident you can naturally be a lot funnier.
And by being naturally funnier she will more than likely laugh with you, NOT at you.
Be confident in your mind you can make her laugh, but don’t turn into a stand-up comedian with joke after joke.
Make sure the conversation flows just naturally.
This will boost your confidence early on in the date so you can carry yourself better too.
One of the best comedians of all time is Jerry Seinfeld, and the reason why is he uses observational humour like so;
Use what you see around you.
Once upon a time I went out to a beautiful bar with a stunning girl, and we were eating dinner.
However there was an awful smell halfway through the meal, and it turned out that there was a burst sewer pipe!
So instead of feeling uncomfortable and awkward I just said to her, “no matter where I take you, it always becomes crap literally!”
She spat out her drink and we had tears down our faces, it was hilarious.
If you were with your friends and saw something stupid or funny you’d be taking the piss, do the same with a woman!
I’m not going to lie I am a master of taking the piss out of myself.
I would go on a date with a beautiful woman and we’d go to a nice place and she would often say “nice venue SCG!”
And I would usually reply “yes not bad for a hairy guy with a big nose eh?”
Being able to take the piss out of yourself shows you are human and comfortable in your own skin and will make her laugh.
But for God’s sake DON’T push it!
Don’t go for example “I am such a horrible piece of scum no woman will love me haha!”
That is creepy and weird dude, keep it light, and don’t fish for compliments either!
The pickup artist community often refer to this as “negs” aka negative compliments.
They would say stuff like “nice dress, my grandmother wears the same one!”
It is almost backhanded but instead you want to be more on the spot and random.
Otherwise it would seem too rehearsed.
This has never failed me, and you should definitely try it.
One time a date of mine took a while in the bathroom, and as she returned about to apologize for the delay I said “what the hell happened in there? Did you have a nice poo?!”
She burst into laughter and stressed that the line for the ladies was a tad too long hence the wait.
Tease her, take the piss but do NOT go too personal or rude.
If you take it too far, she will get offended keep it gentle and light.
If you ever run out of things to ask and worry how to make a woman laugh, then have no fear my friend, here are some I usually use which always work;
1. Would You Rather Be Fluent In All Languages Or Be A Master Of Every Musical Instrument?
2. What Cartoon Do You Still Like To Watch?
3. What Was Your Favourite Fairy Tale Growing Up?
4. If You Could Have One Magical Power, What Would It Be?
5. What Do You Think You Were In A Past Life?
“Silence is only frightening to people who are compulsively verbalizing.”
Introverts are often the sweetest and nicest people I have ever met to date.
But if you are an extrovert and not too sure how to deal with one, they can certainly be a little bit intimidating.
They are certainly difficult people to read, and whilst we all think of ourselves as world class psychologists, there is so much about Introverts we truly don’t know.
For me many years ago I had an introverted girl open up to me about her feelings and it came completely out of the blue!
I honestly did not expect it in the slightest, it completely took me by surprise and to be honest, I was rather blindsided!
To avoid the same mistake again in the future I took the opportunity to do a little research into how Introverts conduct themselves, especially when it comes to crushes and people they like.
There seems to be a common similarity with all Introverts and they seem to display the same type of behaviours when they really fancy somebody.
Perhaps you are pondering over an introverted person in your life right now.
It could be a co-worker, family member, fellow student.
It doesn’t really matter, but what does is whether they actually like you or not.
Here are 7 common signs that an introvert likes you:
Introverts are notorious for bottling up their emotions and having the sternest of poker faces – thus making them almost impossible to read.
However, if theIntrovert has decided to open up to you, it’s a big sign they like you.
And by “Opening up,” I mean they are sharing some incredibly private or detailed information about themselves or family JUST YOU.
The introverted girl that liked me on a lunch break all those years ago sat down and just let loose without me saying anything;
“I hate myself at times, it makes me feel insecure. But when I’m around you, I feel happier in my own skin.
It’s weird, but I just feel a bit more confident, when most of the time I’m not.”
It was strange hearing her saying this, mostly because I didn’t have the slightest idea what was going on, but also because she was always a very quiet and private person to everybody else!
So if they begin to share some private stuff particularly emotional information, it is a very clear sign that they like you.
An introvert that likes you remembers almost everything, seriously they do.
Whilst that may seem a little stalkerish or creepy, 9 times out of 10 it’s actually quite sweet.
They will remember your birthday, what you ate for dinner if you told them a week before, or a specific trait or thing you always liked or dislike.
This is a major sign they like because they are listening intently to when you speak face to face albeit not very much.
And they hold onto that information to show how much they care about you, because in all honesty they really do!
Social media to the introvert is a wonderful way for them to truly express themselves and how they feel.
But whilst they may not be doing plenty of selfies or posts themselves, they operate in a bit more of a subtle way.
Back when I was using social media more for my own personal page, I remember an introverted girl was always the first to like or comment on any post I made.
Sure enough over time I looked through the album of posts and there she was the first to like and comment on almost 90% of my posts.
This is the introvert’s way communicating to you that they most likely have notifications on when you post so they can catch your attention, and show how much they like you!
Creeps stare at you for way to long, but introverts catch you in the corner of their eye.
Eye contact to an introvert is like them speaking 1000 words to you, and whenever you look in their direction you will often find them catching your glance.
It means that they want you to see them, and they want to see you, no matter if they are sat near you or stood 100 yards away.
Introverts never underestimate the importance of body language!
It’s that old movie cliché when the dorky guy or girl snorts or cackles near you because they secretly like you!
Well it is 100% true!
It is because the introvert is nervous around you, and seems to find you just a little bit TOO funny.
They also want to come across calm, but actually they are really nervous just being near you!
Listen out to how often and how they laugh near you next time!
What happened to giving your crush an old mixtape of famous love songs to show your affection eh?
Well guess what, it still happens!
Introverts will give you a very personal or personalized gift normally out of the blue and when you least expect it.
My introvert that liked me baked me a special cake for no apparent reason, and bought me a jersey of my favourite sports team with my name on the back!
The more thoughtful or personal the gift or gesture they give you, the more they like you!
They are also often seen writing emails or letters full of nice things they like about you too, as that is an easier way for them to put across their emotions to you!
This is probably the biggest sign of all that they like you, and that is if they answer your call or call you!
Introverts like most bloody millennials DO NOT like phone calls.
So if they make the effort to face their fears and facetime call, or WhatsApp call or do it old school and dial your number and give you a buzz take that as a huge sign they like you!
And for god’s sake answer the call – it be rude not to!
So you’ve got yourself into a nice little relationship, marriage or maybe you are just at the beginning stage of dating.
Everything is going so well!
She is amazing, you are so happy, you have butterflies in your stomach, and you are giddy and cannot believe your luck!
Then you get the dreaded text “look….we need to talk…”
Then boom, she’s out of your life.
There is seriously nothing worse than that feeling, but strangely you knew it was coming?
I remember coming home after a date, smiling and we even kissed!
Then I looked down at my phone “sorry SCG I don’t want to see you again….”
I felt like collapsing on the floor when I got that text, literally it was like being shot.
How the hell did this happen? You were so good together right?
You loved the same movies, the same foods, the same sports teams!
The sex was amazing, the chemistry was off the charts!?
Look guys, nobody wants to be rejected, and nobody wants to not feel good enough for somebody else either.
As kids were told were the best, we can do anything, were told we are loved.
Then BAM! Out in the real world, like a sucker punch were told we suck!
Or were too short.
Too this or that.
It happens, and I’ve gone over how to handle rejection before funnily enough.
But regardless you are at the stage where the girl in your life has left you.
This can be a woman you have been out with only once, or a fling, a girlfriend, a fiancé or even your wife.
This applies to all women!
And don’t worry I am not going to talk like some sleazy pickup artist, or try to encourage any form of manipulation.
That is wrong, and stupid.
I am basing this off my experiences, research and scientific knowledge of attraction.
Well, let’s take a look at what may have happened to make the woman in your life leave.
Firstly I do not want this applied to the following people;
If you have cheated – you deserve to be dumped, I despise cheaters with a passion, and most women do too. If you didn’t have the decency to keep it in your pants bucko, then you get what you deserve and karma is a bitch!
If you are abusive – you deserve to be dumped. Aggressive, violent and narcissistic partners are awful human beings who use dirty tricks to keep you trapped in relationships. Luckily if this was you, your girl was too smart and valued herself better than your disgraceful treatment. You need help, and you should get it ASAP!
If you are an addict of any kind – you deserve to be dumped, and fix yourself. Everybody likes a drink, but nobody likes a drunk. If your drug, alcohol, sex or gambling addiction has ruined your relationship then see it as the perfect motivation to get onto doing something about it. Remember, you can beat ANY addiction, I swear it, I am living proof you can. Please heal yourself for your own sake, not for your ex!
If you lack ambition and are lazy – you deserve to be dumped, and sort your life out. A man who lacks drive and goals, is a worthless man. Men are BORN LEADERS. But the man who sits on his arse playing playstation, getting fat or high is NOT attractive. He is a loser. If she has left you for this reason, its for your own good. Pick yourself up dude, dust yourself down and get to work on your life. See your split as the best way to recharge your life!
Now I may seem harsh above, but this is for people who may have no idea where they have gone wrong in the attraction process.
Your life should be more than dating, and relationships.
Successful married men aren’t just married.
They have careers, goals, hobbies, and exciting things happening! You got to remember that!
With that all out of the way, now I will discuss how you are going to get your girl back!
Remember, being a bit too keen can be a major killer of attraction.
Guys that focus on relationships too much, tell a woman they love them too soon, you are asking for trouble dudes.
Keenness is unattractive to anything, even friends!
That friend who always likes you no matter what you say or do to them, do you respect them? Like them? What to be around them?
No, you are indifferent.
Remember, women can be like cats. If you pick up a cat that doesn’t want to be picked up, it will scratch you!
Now I am not saying women will scratch you, but they will reject you for sure.
If they don’t want to be around you, they won’t. There is nothing you can say or do to convince them, so just accept that, and you have learnt an extremely valuable lesson.
Chasing someone that doesn’t want to be chased, only pushes them away further.
You want to be cool, and be willing to let a woman walk away from you.
9 times out of 10, she will come back if you are strong enough to do so.
If a woman leaves you, the key to getting her back is simple:
FOCUS ON YOURSELF.
Attack your goals.
Become stronger in the gym.
Create a new social life.
Meet new friends.
Learn a new skill.
Learn an instrument.
Play a sport.
Write a blog.
Start a YouTube.
But DO NOT DO IT TO IMPRESS HER.
Do these things, to improve your life.
This is SO IMPORTANT.
Sometimes women need time to heal and to become more aware of their emotions.
This also is a really important reason to allow space.
Space is sexy remember that!
What’s more you will retain your pride and dignity if you do so.
I go over this in more detail in the video above!
“Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.”
There is nothing more confusing at the beginning stage of a new relationship when you feel that your partner is giving you the cold shoulder.
Or worse, they are giving you mixed signals.
Assuming they are not narcissistic or sociopaths there can be many different reasons that this is happening.
One minute a woman you are dating will be all over you, cannot get enough of you, and constantly always want to be next to you.
They shower you with affection, they praise you, and look at you like you are the king of the world!
Then all of a sudden, she acts moody, cold and the complete opposite.
Whilst not being a lover of pets, I have often seen a quite hilarious yet interesting comparison between women and cats.
Have you ever tried to pet a cat that didn’t want to be petted?
Trust me, ask those and they will show you the claw marks!
The cat will scratch and claw away at you, because it simply just wants to be left alone and not be touched at all!
This very same mind-set can be applied to a woman.
There are many different reasons why a woman you are dating can be acting cold:
Men because we think largely with logic more so than emotion find all this absolutely baffling.
We play a game of mental gymnastics and ask ourselves all the following questions:
What this all boils down to is two major things – insecurity and lack of knowledge in how women act and feel.
Disney movies and TV have portrayed all relationships to be one big long song and dance with birds chirping and sunshine and rainbows all the time!
But the reality is, as with life is relationships are difficult.
You will fight.
You will disagree.
You will not always be happy.
You will hit speed bumps along the way!
So assuming that somebody albeit your partner is going to be in love with you and happy 100% of the time is ridiculous.
We all have mood swings, we all get angry.
However this is exactly where guys usually get it all wrong.
Like the cat analogy, they keep trying to give more and more attention hoping it will make things better.
They will eve beg and plead, and tell them they would do anything, scratch their back, give them milk, and more!
Unfortunately it is very difficult to tame an angry cat, and the same can be applied to a moody woman.
So usually when she backs away guys are buying her chocolates, flowers, and going completely overboard to show their affection!
They shower them with attention when that is NOT what they want at all.
And what does this do?
It kills attraction and pushes her further away.
A buddy of mine did this to his ex, when she was upset that she didn’t get a promotion at her work, but she didn’t want to tell him about it due to feeling embarrassed.
It was the first time in their relationship that he had seen her back away and be a bit distant.
But without properly talking to her or allowing her space, my friend became incredibly insecure and went all out to try and “bring her back to feeling good!”
He booked a vacation, bought her some expensive gifts, went all out!
She however just wanted to talk and have a bit of space.
He never allowed for that to happen.
It resulted in her becoming more and more distant from him, to the point where the insecurity he was going through drove him crazy.
He texted and called her several times a day, he stalked her social media, he even bombarded her friends with what was wrong.
And when he eventually found out that it was over her work, he had in fact pushed her away even further to the point she wanted nothing to do with him anymore.
She blocked him, broke up with him, and moved on.
This has happened so many times to so many different guys its becoming a regular thing.
Space is sexy – trust me on this.
And like I said, assuming your partner is NOT a narcissist or sociopath, whatever the reason why she is backing away is irrelevant.
The solution is to mirror her emotions too, and do the same.
However, do not be cold or rude, do it with a touch of class.
I often use the line, “you’re upset, give me a shout when you feel better.”
And I will not text, call or see a woman when she is backing away.
By doing so and allowing her the space she needs, she will eventually return back to her good place.
So by mirroring her in her backing away you can return to doing what makes you happy away from your relationship and your partner.
You can work on your goals, see your friends more, or even just read a book and reflect.
It doesn’t matter what you do, but working on yourself and living your life rather than chasing her when she backs away will only make you more attractive to her.
She will eventually calm down, and feel good again.
And when she does, I absolutely guarantee she will be more into you than ever before.
Remember the cat analogy, let the cat go do its own thing and it will eventually get over its mood swing.
But if you constantly try to pick it up and touch it against its will, it will claw your face off!
Let your partner heal and get over whatever it is that is bothering them.
Women sometimes are just a range of emotions, and they sometimes experience them all in one go!
We men can’t understand that, so they need time and space in order to find their good place again.
But not allowing them that space will only make them resent you more, and push you even further away, especially in the long run.
This goes against a guy’s natural instinct, because he fears that because she is backing away he will lose her.
If you want to almost guarantee losing her, chase her, bombard her, and beg for attention when she backs away.
Or do the smart move, play it cool, focus on your purpose and your own life.
And watch her come back into your arms even more affectionate to you in no time!
It is not a misconception for most men to feel very insecure in modern dating.
With the rise of dating apps, and attractive women bombarded with male attention almost everywhere you look, it is definitely understandable why men may feel they are simply “not good enough,” to keep a woman.
But there are certain less common signs of insecurity that may lead to you ultimately getting rejected, or eventually dumped.
Let me make one thing clear:
Relationships are bloody tough, and are no picnic.
So choose your partner wisely.
Also people have very unrealistic expectations of their partners.
As much as I love Disney, they certainly has painted a very far-fetched perception on what love truly is, and how it’s not going to always be a song and dance every day!
You will fight.
You will disagree.
You will come across problems.
That is called life.
However, having said all this, there may be things that you are doing as a guy that is inadvertedly turning your partner off.
This is also assuming she is not a Narcissist or a sociopath, but essentially a good person who you care for deeply.
Narcissists and other toxic individuals WILL provoke you, and drive your insecurity up to do so!
I have an article about that all here.
But let’s assume she is great, or there is someone you like, yet you have a history of messing it up by “being too insecure.”
Here are some pretty obvious signs of male insecurities that usually turn a woman off massively:
This is a pretty obvious one, I mean if you are not even confident enough to look a woman in the eyes, how on earth is she going to have any form of lasting attraction to you?
This needs to be addressed pretty pronto my friend, there is nothing sexier to a woman than a man who can gaze into her eyes and talk with his eye contact.
But don’t stare for too long, or just constantly look at her, there is an art to it.
Research it, and go from there!
Jealousy/envy is quite a narcissistic trait.
And while that can be sexy to a degree when it comes to showing how much you care, being overbearing or controlling can be utterly intoxicating to a woman.
An attractive high value woman will always get attention, she will have a good circle of friends, and she will be going out regularly to bars without you.
My advice here is be high value too!
Have a busy life as well, don’t be jealous of what she has and what you don’t.
Because if you don’t, she will realize that instantly and she will lose interest very fast!
This one is a double edged sword, because as a guy I understand where they are coming from.
A man of standards and taste has to go on a lot of dates with all sorts until he finds the partner of his dreams – or so he thinks.
And when he has met her, he is all in.
He buys her flowers, chocolates, and is often the first to tell her how much he loves her.
The problem with this is, you don’t really know the woman well enough to do so.
She may be perfect at the beginning, but it’s the honeymoon period, it’s all fresh new exciting and fun!
But that woman may be narcissistic, a liar, she may have a secret drug addiction or some serious baggage.
Love for a woman is a slow gradual process, but for men we are all in from the moment we say hello.
Take your time, no rush, go with the flow.
Time is the best indication for all truth, especially with relationships.
I’ve been there, and I am sure you have too, the same old questions:
“Do you still like me?”
“Do you fancy me still?”
“Do you think I’m not good enough for you?”
Being desperate for a woman’s validation all the freaking time is a massive attraction killer.
In fact you can almost guarantee she will be no longer into you if you keep doing it for a certain amount of time.
Women blow hot and cold, for reasons no man will ever truly understand.
And whilst she may not be overly friendly with you on a specific day or time does NOT mean she has lost attraction to you.
Role with the punches, ride the wave, hopefully it is only temporary.
Doing the opposite and seeking validation constantly will only make things worse, trust me.
This is the classic sign of an empathetic person, whose entire being and life depends on how their partner is feeling.
If she is happy, he is happy.
If she is sad, he is sad too.
And why this is unattractive to a woman is because a woman likes a man who thinks and feels his own way.
Don’t get me wrong if god forbid there is a tragedy or loss then by all means show some sympathy!
But a woman loves a man who is her rock, her pillar, her shoulder to cry on.
Not someone who bases his entire life’s being or choices on her, especially at the early stages of a relationship.
Social media has had a huge impact on modern dating, and it certainly plays a big part in how men can act even more insecure than normal.
Stalking her Instagram for example, and seeing where she is or what she is up to is not good, as she will inevitably catch onto this.
It is also not healthy too.
Social media sadly for old school men like me, is just a part of life, but instead of constantly looking at her photos you could be reading, learning a new skill, or working on a business.
Those are far more attractive than knowing what time she clocked into the gym, or what cocktail she is drinking after work.
As a former empath myself, I was utterly under the impression that “the more space you give somebody, the more you push them away.”
That couldn’t be further from the truth!
Space is sexy, that’s my new motto.
Think about it yourself, have you ever had that overbearing friend who would just pester you constantly when all you wanted to do was sit down after a long day and just chill?
Or perhaps you are trying to catch up on a series on Netflix.
Yes, that is how you come across when you are pestering a woman for attention.
Give the woman space, and at the same time fall in love with space yourself.
By doing so, she will find you so attractive, because 99% of other men are doing the opposite and constantly chasing after her.
Back away, and in that mean time it will only bring you closer together.
Now if the woman you are dating or seeing is a narcissist or sociopath, they will play manipulative mind games to make you question trusting them.
Newsflash – they are untrustworthy people, do not bother.
But if a normal high value woman has given you no reason to, then do not try to convince yourself otherwise.
Trust those who deserve to be trusted, and those are the people who give you no reason to.
They give you their word, and keep to their promises, and make sure to do the same.
I’ve certainly been there, the person that reads too much into everything.
Every text, every message, every tiny little detail.
This embarrassing trait is not only unattractive to a woman, but it causes unnecessary stress and anxiety.
And the underlying factor clearly is you feel like you are “not good enough” for this particular woman.
By unconsciously thinking like this, you will act in a way where you are looking for an excuse or a reason as to why the relationship will inevitably fail.
All that time wasted on overthinking that you lack the qualities to attract this particular woman you could instead spend on getting fit, reading, and improving yourself.
Again a far more attractive thing to be doing with your time.
Another major sign is when a woman criticises you or takes the piss out of you in a banter sort of way, and you sulk and get into a mood.
Playful banter is something I never had with a Narcissistic ex-partners, and I would love to in the future, because I would like to assume I am quick witted.
So when the woman you are dating makes a little sly comment that is really not that harsh, let it go.
Having said that, use the rule of three, if they are constantly nagging over a particular flaw you may not know you have and you have tried to fix it, call them out on it in a healthy discussion.
The key to keeping attraction alive is to always keep improving yourself.
Becoming stale or stagnant is a romance killer for sure.