Stay Away After Walking Away
This post is about why you need to stay away after walking away.
There are four incredibly good reasons you need to remain away from the person or people you have left in your life.
So, you have decided to walk away, congratulations.
Walking away is one of the hardest, but greatest accomplishments ever.
I am not exaggerating when I say walking away has power and is indeed a superpower.
When I mean walking away, it can be from any of the following:
Walking away from a job
Walking away from a marriage/relationship
Walking away from a friend
Walking away from a career
Walking away from a family
Walking away from a situation
Take great comfort in knowing you are in excellent company of those who walk away.
The opposite is those too foolish to realize what is going on.
Or worse, they allow abuse, selfishness, and disrespect to come their way repeatedly, because well it hurts, they feel they cannot do better.
Their self esteem is so in the toilet, that they will just allow people to abuse and disrespect them repeatedly.
Not to brag, I am a guy who has walked away from plenty of people and situations in my life.
With narcissism on the rise, and people saying, “I did nothing wrong,” and never taking responsibility for their actions, you are better off saving your energy and never fighting.
You will just be wasting your valuable time and life.
You are better off picking yourself up and walking away.
But there is so much more to just walking away.
The real true power is not the initial adrenaline rush of leaving and blocking etc.
But the power is in staying away.
It is in adjusting your life and moving on.
Think of a death in your family (god forbid), that is non-negotiable, sadly they are gone forever, never to be seen again.
This is how you need to view the people or thing you walk away from.
I have gone back after walking away, it never works out.
Here are four reasons to stay away after walking away:
#1 – It Will Help You Grow
Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.
But if you do or try something a bit different, at a new angle, new way, you will see better results immediately.
By staying away, and moving on, you can grow.
By going back and taking the easy option, where is the growth?
Where is the personal development?
Where are the lessons learnt in your life?
There are none.
Or if there are, they are minimal.
A woman I know took her cheating husband back after a 2-year separation.
She kicked him out of the house and vowed to divorce him after finding out he was fooling around on her.
But in those two hard years, she did not growth.
She never bothered to do the work on herself at all.
She never decided to rebuild her confidence and learn that she has a lot to offer.
Instead, she moaned, cried, and played the victim.
Foolishly, she started getting lonely, and allowed her cheating husband to come crawling back.
Despite them ending back up together, he regularly fools around still, and she is so weak minded to never stop him doing so.
She admits, “it is just easier to allow him to do whatever he wants.”
What a sad existence that must be.
To allow your husband to do what he wants, and cheat on you regularly.
She never allowed herself to grieve.
She hated feeling the pain of loneliness.
And took the easy option.
And now feels a totally new kind of pain, every single day.
And has done nothing about it to improve the situation.
Firstly guys, never ever take back a cheater, once a cheat ALWAYS a cheat.
But also realize and learn, you will never grow into a better or the best version of yourself going back from what you walked away from.
Move on and become the best version of yourself.
#2 – History Repeats Itself
How often do people change?
Let me ask you another especially important question?
How often have you yourself changed?
Or do you keep making the same mistakes over and over?
You are human, I am the same.
My point being is, the people or situation you have walked away from, most likely I am sorry to say will not change.
In fact, it will get worse over time.
But that is a whole other point altogether.
I remember making one of the biggest mistakes ever, going back to my ex-narcissist girlfriend after I split with her.
Warning = never go back to a narcissist ever.
We had problems in our first year, and I remember shouting and screaming at her over a stupid and childish fight on the phone.
And I remember her laughing on the other line, immaturely and rudely.
That was my initial tipping point.
I broke up with her, never to speak to her again.
However, I was not educated in narcissism at all, and I took the breakup badly.
I could not handle being single, and I thought I was the problem.
Stupidly I felt sorry for her, and she promised me she had changed.
So, we started seeing each other again, and slowly but surely found ourselves an official couple again.
Things were 100x worse than before.
The fights were worse.
The stress and drama were unbearable.
And the narcissist?
Well, the narcissist was the narcissist, just far more toxic than previously.
It had to take another tipping point for me to walk away, e.g., being locked out of my home in the pouring rain.
My point is history will repeat itself.
Sure, people can change initially knowing you will not tolerate their behaviour.
However, a leopard never changes its spots.
Remember history will repeat itself, unfortunately
#3 – Deny Better
By going back to what you walked away from, you deny better in your life.
And trust me the grass is greener, seriously.
I remember going back to my ex-narcissist.
And the time and energy I wasted doing so.
In the time wasted with my ex-narc, I could have:
Gotten into better shape
Invested more wisely
Built my business faster
Had more fun experiences
Instead, I put my life completely on hold, for a bloody narcissist.
And much to my regret I found out a beautiful kind woman had a crush on me.
She said, “had you been single I would have loved to have dated you.”
And now this woman is engaged to be married.
I missed the boat, c’est la vie.
Learn from my mistake.
You deny better.
But it can be professionally too.
A guy I know returned to a local business he originally walked away from to pursue an online business with his brother.
He had not given the business a proper go and returned to the familiar.
However, his brother still worked on the online business.
And to this day, is making six figures selling products online.
While the guy was made redundant and is unemployed now.
You have no idea what is ahead of you.
Or round the corner.
But I assure you it is better than what you walked away from.
Change your mindset to that of an optimist.
You walked away for a reason.
And while it may seem tough at first, it will be good in the end.
You just need to remain patient.
#4 – Revenge
The final reason to stay away after walking away is you encourage revenge.
And narcissists and toxic people love to swear revenge on you.
And if you are not tough enough, they can really beat you to your knees.
A guy I know left his office job to join a rival firm a few years back.
However, he did not enjoy it as much, and decided to go back to the original firm, practically begging for the job back.
His narcissistic boss accepted, but only on a lower salary.
The man begrudgingly accepted.
However, his evil boss was not done with him.
He made his employee work extra hours for no extra pay.
He made him work weekends.
He constantly reminded him of how foolish he was for leaving.
And then he encouraged him to take on more and more work.
Until he was eventually burnt out.
Then when he least expected it, the evil boss fired him.
Completely ruining his life.
Going back, especially to a toxic place or person, will encourage revenge.
These people especially narcissists hate that you beat them to it.
They hate that you walked away, especially before they did.
Or you called them out on their behaviour.
It will all seem like sunshine and rainbows when you return initially.
But give it time, and you will not see the knife coming to backstab you.
Stay away, unless you want to be sought after and have revenge taken on you.
Make friends who want the best for you instead.
Pursue worthwhile goals and dreams.
Do not waste your time on toxic people and things.
And please, I beg you:
DO NOT GO BACK!