How to Learn Self-Love and Acceptance
This post is about how to learn self-love and acceptance.
There are 5 powerful steps for you to learn how to love yourself more and become more accepting of life in general.
In a world full of narcissists and negative people we can often forget that we as humans often need to give ourselves a good amount of TLC and affection.
What exactly is self-love?
Self-love is the regard for one’s own well-being and happiness.
Let me ask you a few questions:
When was the last time you put yourself first before others?
When was the last time you put your needs first?
When was the last time you treated yourself to something special?
When was the last time you felt genuinely at peace?
When was the last time you were happy?
Here are some benefits of having more self-love and acceptance in your life:
You will become a more positive person overall
You will attract more abundance into your life
You will become a better person
You will have better relationships
People will treat you differently
You will become more confident
You will start loving your life more
We can often neglect loving ourselves because we are way too busy chasing the love and the admiration for the wrong things.
And of course, chasing the love of the WRONG people too.
As a result of that we suffer massively because we are currently in a world where insecurity is on a dramatic rise.
People are feeling the negative effects of social media and the constant fear of missing out.
If we instead started turning our attention more inwardly, we can start to do the necessary healing we need to improve our overall wellbeing and happiness.
I have been learning these steps myself and the results have been tremendous.
I ask you to be reasonably openminded with what I am going to suggest.
Remember; “how you love yourself is how you teach others to love you.”
Here are 5 ways to learn self-love and acceptance:
#1 – Learn to Have Fun Alone
One of the very first ways to improve your self-love is to start learning how to have fun completely on your own.
Most people have the need and desire to constantly be around other people and so on.
Whilst good company is fantastic, learning how to have fun all by yourself is a particularly important step and lesson that you must learn.
The average person when they are alone does the following:
Browse social media
Read a Book or a magazine
Sleep or Nap
But there is SO much more you can be doing to enjoy yourself!
Here are some great ideas of ways you can be having more fun in your own company:
Go for a jog
Write a song
Play an instrument
Go for a coffee or tea
Learn a new language
Play a video game
Go to a concert
Visit a museum
Have a spa day
Play with your pet
Listen to some music
Go grab a bite to eat
Go see a movie
#2 – No Guarantees in Life
This is a lesson in acceptance, where sadly no matter what you do or believe in, regrettably there are no guarantees in life.
I wish I could tell you there was, but sadly there isn’t.
And the sooner you come to terms with that, the better your life will be.
How can you come to accept this?
How can this make me feel better about my life?
The first thing it will do is make you more mature mentally and emotionally.
By realizing that god forbid you can lose your job or the entire world can go into lockdown because of a deadly virus and so on, can actually encourage some much needed and deserved inner peace.
What I noticed when the pandemic occurred was simply there was no guarantees in life at all, and I learnt the hard way.
Never in my wildest dreams would I ever imagine the world being locked indoors, Disneyland closed, the Vegas strip shut down and so on.
Because there are NO guarantees in life.
What it taught me is how much I took for granted.
Even the tiniest of things, such as going to my favourite local café and sitting outside sipping an Espresso watching people walking by on a warm summer’s day.
Such a simple yet beautiful setting for me.
And when the pandemic happened that tiny little moment that I loved so dearly was abruptly taken away from me.
Because there are NO guarantees in life.
I used that café example because even something so minor or so pointless to most people was not ever guaranteed anymore.
The lesson here is to never take anything for granted:
Because the only real guarantee in life is death, you will die one day.
So why on earth take all the wonderful gifts life has to offer for granted?
#3 – Start Being Grateful
A great way to learn how to love yourself more and come to terms with acceptance is to start becoming more grateful for what you have.
We live in a very entitled almost narcissistic world where people are bragging on social media about all the luxury things they have, and the rest are just feeling insecure about themselves in comparison.
You have A LOT to be grateful for in your life!
And the more your practice gratitude the more you will be happy with what you have, and more accepting of where you are in your life.
I am not suggesting get comfortable, there is always room for improvement, always!
But I am instead suggesting making you feel more in love with yourself regardless of what others have or say to really look deep into what you have.
In case you don’t know what to be grateful for in your life here are some ideas:
A roof over your head and a warm home
Money in the bank (no matter how little or large)
Your friends (again no matter how many you have or don’t)
Freedom of religion
Your courage and strength
Access to the internet
The fact you are alive
Breathing fresh air
A bed to sleep
Books to read
Places to travel to
“Gratitude is the fairest blossom which springs from the soul.”
#4 – You Only Have Control Over Your Internals
The ancient philosophy of stoicism is a very popular and practical way of coming to terms with acceptance in life.
The stoics believe that you do not have control over anything that is going on outside of you aka the externals.
This may include:
However, the stoics are utterly convinced that a person has 100% aka complete control over what is going on INSIDE of them aka the internals.
Your decision making
What has this got to do with acceptance?
Because coming to terms with the illusion of control is the very first step in improving your happiness and wellbeing.
By realizing and understanding all you control is your mind and how you respond to life is the best way to accept things as they are.
For example, if somebody is abusive to you for no good reason.
You will be hurt and upset for sure, but you realize and rationalize “I can engage in this toxic individual, OR I can walk away and associate myself with better and healthier people.”
This sort of rational and logical thinking is exactly what you need in life.
To understand that you have no real impact on other people and how they will treat you is a tremendous step in your development.
Realize that what is going on inside of you is way more important than how you react.
Suddenly you will stop caring what people say or do to you, because as the stoics say, “It doesn’t matter what is going on externally of you.”
#5 – List Your Achievements!
The final lesson in learning how to love yourself and accept life is for you to make a serious list of your achievements.
I know what you might are saying “but I have not done anything in my life?!”
I respectfully disagree my friend.
There is something you must have done.
It can be big or small, but you must write it all down and read it to yourself daily.
Life can be terribly busy and distracting and often we can forget what we have accomplished over the years.
It could be something big like starting a business, or it could something like leaving an abusive ex-partner.
It does not matter write it all down!
And read it to yourself every single day for at least a month.
What this will do will give you an enormous sense of pride and admiration for yourself.
And subconsciously it will inspire you to pursue more gaols and dreams that you would maybe lack the confidence to.
Please write your achievements down privately and read each one out loud and look back at what you have managed to do in your life with a smile.
And if nobody else is proud of you or what you have done, you can be and deserve to be.
“Love yourself first and everything else falls into line.”