Why Do People Not Like Me Much?
This post is about why do people not like me much?
There are five likely reasons why people do not like you very much, and perhaps you need to hear it.
Do you have the feeling that people do not like you very much?
Are you constantly making and then losing friends?
Do you feel very lonely?
Are you feeling lost?
There is a fundamental difference between the feeling of wanting to belong, and the feeling of walking alone.
I for one am a person with an exceptionally low tolerance for:
So, I choose to walk away from people like that, and prefer to associate myself with people who are good and genuinely want the best for me.
However, if you are finding that you are seeing people do what I do, aka walk away from you or completely disassociate with you and cut ties, there is a serious problem.
I am not suggesting you may be narcissistic or abusive, but you could certainly have traits that may be associated with such types of people.
I would also stop seeking to be liked by other people, but instead be respected and admired.
If you are ONLY seeking to be liked you are constantly seeking validation, and that will make you look insecure and you will attract dreadful people into your life.
But instead if you decide to start looking within yourself and what is it about you and your character that is turning people off, I ask you to do the following:
To be open minded.
To be willing to self-reflect.
To be able to make the necessary improvements.
The best time to make friends is before you need them.
Dale Carnegie’s amazing book “How to Win Friends & Influence People,” is a must read on this very subject.
So, what I am about to list are the most likely reasons why people may not like you very much right now.
I know it may be difficult to read and a bitter pill to swallow, but I promise you if you are willing to be openminded about this, you will see some tremendous changes to your social life and personality.
#1 – You are a Control Freak
What exactly is a control freak?
According to Wikipedia:
“In the slang of psychology, the colloquial term control freak describes a person with a personality disorder characterized by undermining other people, usually by way of controlling behaviour manifested in the ways that he or she acts to dictate the order of things in a social situation”
NOBODY LIKES A CONTROL FREAK!
There was a woman I used to know who always had an opinion about anything or everything.
She would often stick her nose in people’s business and private lives.
And without even asking she would offer her unnecessary opinion:
“I think you should do this…you are doing this wrong…you are making a mistake…you will never do this right unless you listen to me…”
People bit their tongues when they dealt with this woman on a social level.
Where is she now?
Completely alone, divorced, without a friend in the world, nobody takes her calls, nobody wants to socialize with her, nobody likes her.
Because she was a control freak.
When it came to making plans, she would dismiss every suggestion that did not suit her.
When it came to socializing, she would offer very personal opinions and rather than being laid back and relaxed made sure the entire evening went the way SHE wanted.
She would undermine people regardless of their accomplishments.
When people are not at their jobs and want to socialize, they want to relax and have fun.
I know that may seem obvious to some, but it is the truth.
They do not want to have their lives dictated to.
They do not want to be undermined.
They do not want to be ridiculed and made to feel like children.
People want to have fun, let loose and just hang out or party with likeminded people.
They do not want to hear about opinions or what they SHOULD be doing etc.
Stop being a control freak if you fall into this category.
Or I promise you that you will end up like that woman I mentioned.
With no friends, family, or anybody to socialize with or even talk to.
#2 – You Are Selfish
People love others who are carefree, go with the flow and love to just try being as easy going especially when it comes to socializing.
But when somebody is extremely selfish, it can cause tension in the group.
Do you have the following selfish traits?
Don’t accept constructive criticism
Everything is on your terms only
You make people come to you and never travel
Feeling of entitlement
You do not care about hurting those close to you
You don’t take responsibility
You criticize people behind their backs
Only speak about yourself
Don’t listen to other people at all
Only your needs matter most
You are a control freak
Exaggerate your achievements
If you are finding yourself acknowledging with the traits above to you and your own life and personality, there is an incredibly good chance you are a selfish person.
People do not like selfish people.
I remember having a friend for many years that was an incredibly selfish person:
I always had to drive to him, and he never travelled to me.
It was always what HE wanted to do.
He always spoke about HIMSELF.
He never supported me.
We only ended up falling out because he asked for money (which he did not need), it was all just a complete power trip.
But even if he didn’t do so, I would have probably stopped talking to him.
Nobody wants to associate with such a self-centred ego maniac.
Because they are not genuine, they are not honest, and they are all about themselves.
That can get very tiresome, and very unattractive very quickly.
Selfish people do not care about others unless others are doing something for them.
#3 – You Are Rude
This may seem obvious, but if you are a rude person, you are going to find it very hard to get people to like you at all.
Here are some of the traits of a rude person:
You curse a lot
You shout a lot
You have no respect
You have no class
You dress like a tramp
You act like a degenerate
You drink a lot and act abusive
You are violent
You are dishonest
You are a liar
You are a cheater
You take pleasure in other people’s misfortunes
You are rude to waiting staff because you believe they are beneath you
You interrupt people
You have bad table manners
You are very commanding
You are extremely arrogant
You are extremely opinionated
You are always late
You are dreadful at communicating
You don’t respect the authorities
You are a rebel without a cause
You have no respect for your elders
Do you identify with any of the traits listed above?
Nobody likes a rude person, they are embarrassing to be around, they cause drama and make you feel uncomfortable overall.
Rudeness is the weak person’s imitation of strength and confidence.
#4 – You Are Narcissistic
If you are reading this and are perhaps a narcissist, I find that extremely hard to believe.
That is because MOST narcissists do not believe there is anything wrong with them at all, and in fact will blame the entire world for all their flaws.
Just one of many disgusting traits of these type of people.
Here are some more:
Grandiose sense of self-importance
Live in a fantasy world
Utterly obsessed with their own social media
Believe they are superior to everybody that isn’t them
Genuinely infatuated with their looks
Need for constant attention and praise
Dangerous rule breakers
Need for constant control
How many of these traits do you identify with?
If you are new to my content you may not be aware that I cover the subject of narcissism quite extensively.
I have had the displeasure of meeting many types of unlikeable people in my lifetime, but I can safely say narcissists are the worst of the worst.
Nobody will make you feel worse than a narcissist, especially if you are a good decent human being.
#5 – You are TOO Negative
On Saturday Night Live there is a hilarious character called “Debbie Downer,” who finds a way to put a negative spin on every positive outcome or situation she is in with her friends.
Are you a Debbie Downer?
Here are the traits of a negative person:
Always scared of something bad happening
Never follow through on any projects
Say things like “it is too good to be true”
Always pessimistic no matter what
No desire to learn or grow
Never listen to any advice
Thrive on secrecy
Blame everything for their mistakes
Blame everything for their failures
Dwell on the past
Always the victim
They love hearing bad news
They complain all the time
Never take compliments
Always find a way to turn something positive into a negative
Looking for excuses
Critical of any other success
How many of these traits do you identify with?
Whilst she is a funny character, nobody wants to spend their lives around Debbie Downer.
Stay away from negative people because they have a problem for almost every solution.