What are the Signs of a Cheater?
This post is about what are the signs of a cheater.
I will highlight the 5 key signs to look out if you are at all suspicious that somebody is in fact cheating on you in your relationship, and this applies to BOTH men and women.
Before I go into the signs of what a cheater is, I need to make something clear:
It is NOT your fault.
Sometimes we can push our partners away if we are abusive, toxic, or narcissistic.
But if we are healthy good normal people, our partners would not cheat, they would either ask for a break, or permanently end the relationship with us.
Some people when they believe they are being cheated on assume it is their fault.
Get it into your head = you are the victim here.
The cheater is the guilty party.
They are the ones who should have trouble sleeping at night thinking about what they have done to you.
Thanks to TV and Movies scandals and affairs are so hot right now, in fact it even turns people on!
How sick is society seriously?
Call me a stick in the mud but you know what turns me in instead?
A good healthy and happy relationship.
Not a series of encounters with random people or co-workers or close friends even!
A cheater is a coward, and they are usually narcissists too.
A narcissist will feel no guilt, no responsibility for their actions or empathy if it suits them and them alone.
So why one earth would they feel bad about cheating on somebody?
The truth is they genuinely do not.
They are fools, idiots, and scumbags.
And whether you have already been cheated on previously, there is a 99% chance you will be cheated on again.
Worse as you are reading this there is a large possibility you are being cheated on right this very moment.
Please have some boundaries, if you have clear evidence that they are a cheater, get rid of them walk away find somebody better who will not betray you.
However, if you are unsure whether you are just being paranoid or there is genuinely cause for concern here are the 5 signs to look out for of a cheater:
#1 – They Are Secretly Using Their Phone More
I will never forget when I found out one of my exes was cheating.
We were out for a meal and her phone rang and instantly she took it and ran straight out of the restaurant.
My father was with me and he asked, “what the hell was all that about?!”
I was not sure either, and he said to me “you know son, when somebody acts like that and is so secretive about their phone, they are trying to hide something?”
When she returned to the table and I asked who it was she said, “just work.”
This woman was self employed and worked at events selling products for a commission.
I later found out that evening she was arranging to sleep with another man.
I walked away and never looked back.
So, if your partner is ultra-secretive when it comes to their phone or worse, they have only recently become secretive with their phone there is one reason:
They are hiding something from you.
Yes, and what they are usually hiding is the fact that there is somebody else they are sleeping with, OR on the verge of sleeping with.
I know what you are thinking “so every time they take a private call they are cheating?”
No here are some clear signs of them being secretive on their phone to help with your paranoia on this subject:
They are on the phone regularly late at night
They are constantly texting other people in your company
They always have their phones face down and always on silent
They get agitated if you ask to look at their phone
They get aggressive when you question them who they are talking to
They constantly use the excuse they are working
The work thing can be genuinely true, but if you have reasons or a gut instinct to feel they are cheating then you are probably correct.
For me I do not have a work phone, I only have one phone.
So, I usually get a lot of calls and texts from people for business reasons.
But the difference is unlike the lying cheaters, I would tell my partner “look its Sue from accounts I need to take this as it may be urgent, that ok?”
Rather than “I got to go, work call…” and storming out of a restaurant.
That is the key sign it is the lack of transparency that is making you feel uneasy.
Again, especially if this person was never like this before but suddenly now, they are even more secretive when using their phone!
#2 – Intimacy is Down Massively
Many couples have many different types of intimacy problems.
Some people have fantastic sex lives, whilst others have completely dead bedrooms.
But regarding if your partner is cheating a lot, an increased LACK of intimacy is a huge tell-tale sign something is not quite right.
Again, ESPECIALLY if you and your partner were intimate a lot before too.
Why how is this a sign they might be cheating?
Well whilst it might be obvious to some there are more subtle things to look out for.
For example, if you have been together for a while sometimes intimacy can decrease over time.
People become more relaxed and comfortable with each other, life can get busy, and stressful.
However, if you have noticed your partner do the following:
Significantly improve their appearance
Train or workout harder than usual
Buy a lot of new outfits and clothing
Invest in some expensive jewellery
Act far more superficial
Chances are they are almost imitating or personifying the characteristics of a single person.
Single people look their best to attract a mate.
But why would they be doing all of that to not impress you, or get your libido going to jump into bed with them?
It is simple really because they are unfortunately doing it for somebody else.
It could be a co-worker, a friend, or somebody they just met online.
It does not matter who, but they are excited by the chase of it all.
So, if you see them getting all dolled up or looking super fresh for a “business meeting,” on a Tuesday night at a bar in town, you really need to stop being naïve.
A good way to test your partner on this is to ask them why you are no longer as intimate as you were before?
They may give the following excuse: “I am just really stressed out with work and stuff.”
When you are stressed out, you look stressed out.
You look down, a bit scruffy, very tired looking, and a bit depressed.
You do not look like you are about to go pull in a night club!
Differentiate the two!
#3 – They Are TOO Busy for You
Not only is a partner who is suddenly too busy for their partner a sign of a potential cheater, but also a sign of somebody who is lacking interest in you.
Here are some people who are NOT TOO busy for their partners:
Most Political World Leaders
Just to name a few, some of the world’s most successful and powerful people on the planet have time for their partners despite the pressures they are under every day.
Yet, your partner has not got any time for you.
Or they keep cancelling plans?
Keep delaying plans?
Hardly spend any time with you at all.
Not even a vacation or a weekend away?
When that happens, there is extra cause for concern.
No, you are not being paranoid, there is something genuinely up with them.
I do not care what your job is or what is going on, there is always time for at least 1 hour of intimacy, conversation etc.
Some people work antisocial jobs, especially in the hospitality business.
But if they cannot allocate ANY time at all to you, they are extremely selfish and most likely sorry to admit choosing that time with somebody else.
Of course, most people could not be busy with work at all, and in fact are instead just choosing to pretend they are.
Why would they do that?
To give off the façade they are busy and instead use that time for them to get up to no good with somebody else, – despicable if you ask me.
If you have banged your had against a brick wall by insisting you talk, or at least have a date night and they keep cancelling or delaying you need to do the following:
Give them an ultimatum.
Whilst some people may find that harsh, you know what is just as harsh?
Having your time wasted on a selfish person who may be cheating on you.
Dedicate a time, no distractions, no phones, nothing just you and them and see if they give you all their attention and time, and tell them your concerns, be completely upfront about it.
Otherwise you will just constantly be suffering from anxiety and paranoia wondering what the hell is going on?! – Life is too short for that!
#4 – Over the Top Gift Giving
If your partner has hardly seen you, been intimate, and flaked on you recently yet is showering you with over the top gifts and expensive stuff it is the clearest sign they feel incredibly guilty.
The best gift is their time, and a romantic meal or an experience out WITH them.
Not a piece of jewellery, or an expensive watch etc.
What they are doing is thinking they can buy your forgiveness.
The over the top gift giving is the clearest sign they are a cheater.
A woman I know I suspected was being cheated on was showered with thousands of dollars’ worth of gifts right before she caught him.
Dior, Gucci you name it!
Yet what he would do is buy her the gifts and then pop straight out!
Straight to his affair, aka the person he was cheating with.
Do not be so naïve and wake up and smell the coffee.
If you feel guilty or appreciative of somebody you treat them to a lavish gift.
So again, they feel dreadfully guilty of stabbing you in the back and betraying you that they believe they can buy your forgiveness with presents.
This is also a NOTICEABLY clear sign if your partner is usually not so lavish.
What I mean by this is if your partner is usually a bit frugal with their finances or has never spent a considerable sum on you but suddenly has spent a fortune on unnecessary expensive gifts – wake up.
They are cheating on you.
In a moment of rare weakness, they are walking or driving with the guilt overwhelming them.
How they are thinking is:
“My partner is probably suspecting what I am up to, but if I go and buy them something luxurious to show how much I love them and care, they won’t suspect a thing.”
It is cheaper and tackier if anything.
If you have any self-control or discipline what you should do is the following in this scenario:
When you are met with the following over the top lavish gifts say the following:
“Thank you so much and you shouldn’t have, however I’d rather you send these gifts back and we spend it on a vacation or trip away just you and me.”
See how they respond to that because it is almost like calling their bluff.
Going away may be difficult for them, and it will insult their cheap and tacky attempt at fooling you to think they still love you and are loyal to you.
Try it out for yourself!
#5 – They Avoid ALL Future Talk
Have you ever discussed the following topics only to be either shot down or be completely ignored by your partner?
Moving in together
Going abroad together
Buying a property together
Buying a pet together
Having children together
Adopting a child together
Starting a business together
Opening a bank account together
All these and more are conversations about your future together, and frankly anybody who is avoiding that talk is most likely either thinking of breaking up or cheating.
Most idiots these days do not deal with their problems head on, and the cross their fingers and truly hope for the best to just work out for them.
So, any type of future planning with you in it at all is not in their hindsight.
These people clearly do not think because they are selfish and only are out to please themselves.
They do not even know what they are going to eat for dinner let alone moving in with you.
The right healthy and correct partner loves talking to you about the future.
If anything, them too are suggesting and planning with you.
Whereas the cheater or the narcissist is doing the opposite.
They avoid it at all costs, change the subject, insist things should go slow despite being together for almost 5 years.
Relationships grow and adapt.
If your person is not playing ball, pull them aside and discuss “where is this going?”
Do not delay it any further or let them make any excuses.
When you confront a cheater or a liar head on, watch as they physically get uncomfortable because you are no longer putting up with their crap.