What Makes the Narcissist Feel Sad?
This post is about what makes the narcissist feel sad and miserable.
There are 7 things the narcissist does not like at all!
In fact, it makes these energy draining vampires utterly miserable!
I do not condone revenge or encourage it but sometimes life just happens, and the narcissist will just end up feeling upset!
I always stand by my personal mantra: “The narcissist always loses in the end.”
Chances are you have seen them filled with rage, or crying for no reason, and you are scratching your head thinking “what the hell is wrong with them?!”
There is a lot wrong with them unfortunately, A LOT.
So, whether you are still dealing with a narcissist or you are curious, I got you covered.
I will also use personal examples from my life, family, and ex relationships.
Here are seven things that make a narcissist sad and miserable:
#1 – Not Enough Attention
The narcissist thrives off attention aka “supply.”
Whether it be good attention as in admiration or praise, or negative attention such as drama and conflict the narcissist simply cannot live without it.
The supply you or anybody gives them is their drug.
They are like heroin addicts to their supply.
But for whatever reason the attention is turned away from them, not only do they get furious but sad.
Yes, they may even throw a temper tantrum or worse you will experience narcissistic rage.
One disgraceful narcissist that I knew was so upset that she was not getting any attention at a funeral of all places that she stormed off saying “I am leaving, nobody cares about me!”
Full disclosure, nobody chased after her.
But that is how low they will stoop, it does not matter where they are or what they are doing, if they genuinely believe they are being starved of attention they will fall to pieces.
This is what makes things so dangerous when you are dealing with one.
I remember going to a beautiful Michelin star restaurant with a ex narcissist girlfriend, and because I spoke to the waiter about where he was from for 2 minutes and starved her off attention she stormed off in a huff!
Yes, she got up with tears in her eyes and stormed off!
Sadly, I had no idea what the hell was going on at the time (I was so naïve), and I chased after her and our entire evening was completely ruined.
She acted like she had just been shot and acted like a drama queen!
#2 – Your Success
When I told my ex narcissist, I was having success in my busines how do you think she reacted?
She broke down in tears AGAIN!
When we were supposed to be celebrating.
Instead of celebrating she caused me nothing but bloody grief!
I was greeted with misery on the day of one of my biggest triumphs in my business.
The narcissist hates you doing well, and any success you have or encounter because it makes them feel bad about their own lives and careers.
Unlike healthy normal people, narcissists are comparing themselves to everybody, especially you!
So, if you are doing well, they are extremely jealous of you, and they hate anything good or positive you go on to achieve, because it makes them look bad in comparison.
Remember they are comparing you constantly!
#3 – Ignoring Them
Like attention and supply, ignoring a narcissist will make them utterly miserable.
I will again use an example of my ex narcissist girlfriend when we went out to dinner with some of my closest friends for the first time.
Also, this was her first time meeting them too!
It was a lovely couple around the same age as us early 30’s.
When me and my ex were out with my friends and on our way back to my buddies’ house, we discovered they had unfortunately been burgled!
They had ransacked the place and were utterly traumatized.
My friend and his partner were in tears and I took it upon myself to comfort them, hug them as much as I could.
I helped them clear up the mess.
I called the police for them.
And I also did whatever I could to help the situation.
Meanwhile my ex narcissist just stood at a distance quiet the whole time.
And on our journey home I was saying how awful it was to see what had happened to my poor unfortunate friends.
And with that she suddenly burst into tears.
She was so miserable and upset, and I assumed she was crying about the burglary, but this is what she said.
“You all ignored me, I felt so alone at the house! Why do you hate me!?”
#4 – Insults or Banter
Unlike most healthy and decent people who can take a joke, narcissists are the most extremely sensitive people you will ever meet.
I will once again use an example from one of my ex narcissistic girlfriends.
We had been dating for a while and we had arranged to go out for dinner one evening.
I was still getting to know her, but I was always teasing her a little bit too, it was how I flirted with her.
Whenever I did, she would always go quiet, and she asked me “what if I decide not to turn for dinner tonight then eh?”
And I responded, “well if that happens, I will have to take movie star Megan Fox instead of you then!”
To which even though it was just some light-hearted banter she burst into tears.
“You hate me I am ugly; you prefer other women!” etc, etc.
Narcissists cannot take a joke, especially if that joke can potentially damage their ego.
And the same goes for light-hearted banter which is basically self-defecating humour.
Find yourself a person who can laugh at themselves and take a joke, not somebody you have to tread on eggshells with.
#5 – More Attractive or Popular People
A narcissist cannot stand more attractive or popular people.
It makes them utterly miserable as they are constantly comparing themselves to everybody and anybody and it is why they are the way that they are, which is manipulative jealous and toxic creatures.
One of my ex narcissists hated going to bars and parties.
Because it would involve other people aka other women.
More successful women.
Women who have more personality, basically almost any other type of woman other than her!
She could not handle it, and once again would burst into tears and feel inadequate and utterly miserable with herself.
A narcissist may even accuse you of cheating or leaving them in situations like this too.
Because despite their enormous ego, they truly hate themselves deep down.
So, exposure particularly in a social environment to “competition,” in their eyes makes them so sad they cannot even function.
Find yourself a person who is comfortable and content with who they are, and not so superficial.
#6 – Things They Do Not Understand
If something is curious, difficult to grasp, requires empathy, or is a little out of their educational capacity, it will make the narcissist miserable.
The narcissist unlike other people hates what they do not understand, and it really makes them sad.
For example, if a narcissist cannot grasp how to drive as it requires discipline and the desire to learn etc, they will refuse to do it.
Sad to admit I was dating a woman who refused to drive because she did not want to learn and every time, she learnt she hated listening to the instructor, and thought she knew better.
And of course, it really made her cry fake crocodile tears too.
Just like a dictator believes they are always right, and they always know best, so does the narcissist.
So why on earth would they waste their time learning something or grasping something difficult?
They believe their arrogance carries them through whatever they wish to do.
They do not need to learn something challenging, and if they don’t understand it, rather then admitting it like a normal healthy person, they break down and cry or act utterly miserable, blaming everybody else and everything else for their problems.
#7 – Exposing Their Lies
Want to see anarcissist sad and miserable? – Expose them for their lies.
I remember finding out an ex narcissist lied to me about the following:
Her ex boyfriends
Her financial situation
Her criminal history!
Yup, it was not all sunshine and rainbows with her.
And when I exposed her with proof, yes actual physical proof, AND witnesses on all the following, what do you expect happened?
She broke down and cried and denied it all.
Yes, ANY narcissist knows deep down in their hearts that they are truthfully deceitful and lying scumbags.
And by calling them out on their lies and their bullshit, you are basically showing the world and yourself at the same time what they are like when the mask is slipped.
The narcissist is a lie, and their life is a lie.
Find yourself somebody who is not a pathological liar and is normal and health.