How Do You Improve Your Self Confidence Quickly?
This post is about how do you improve your self confidence quickly.
There are 5 amazing ways to improve your confidence, and self-esteem.
Firstly, let me define what exactly is confidence?
Confidence is a feeling of trust in one’s abilities, qualities, and judgement.
The key word there is trust!
When we are met with opposition in our lives, an enemy mostly, these people normally can destroy our confidence.
For example, when I was interested in asking a pretty girl out as a teenager, I had a bully who would always tell me “you will never be good enough for her.”
And I would take that as gospel and walk away and not even bother to ask her out.
But as time went on it turned out that very girl liked me too!
So why on earth did I waste my time listening to that moron?!
How similar an experience have you had in your life?
And not just with dating, but life in general.
Say you wanted to start a business, but you were greeted with negativity and doubt from all the people who loved you and you thought supported you.
Or perhaps you always wanted to travel somewhere, but you were greeted with the same awful behaviour.
Let me tell you a little secret:
Most people like to see you fail.
Because my friend, they are either envious or jealous of your confidence.
Without realizing it you naturally have confidence flowing through your veins, but it has been pegged down by the haters and the jerks of this world.
Sometimes even people in your own family or friendship circles.
But that is ok, because with these 5 simple yet effective tips I will show you how to improve your self-confidence!
Remember you are a good human being with a lot to offer this world.
Muhammed Ali was told he was not good enough.
So was Michael Jordan.
So was Steve Jobs
And so many more amazing people, so you are in EXCEPTIONALLY good company.
Here are the 5 ways to improve your self-confidence:
#1 – Improve your Appearance
Whilst this may seem superficial, your appearance does play a huge impact on your confidence.
The better you look, the better you will feel.
When I get dressed up in a tuxedo I feel like James Bond!
When a woman wears a beautiful dress for a night out, she feels amazing too!
I am not suggesting for you to wear a tuxedo every day, instead I am suggesting doing the following on improving your appearance:
- Cut out Toxic Habits
Do you smoke too much? Perhaps drink too much? Drugs? All these not only are having physical effects on your body but mentally too. Addicts or people who consume a little too much of something bad or extremely toxic for themselves can have more negative self-talk and opinions of themselves. So, either cut down or better yet cut them out completely!
- Haircut or Hairstyle
For years bless him my late grandad gave me a haircut, and well let us just say he did his best. But then I started going to a top stylist and he completely transformed my hair that really did compliment my face and look. It was the best I ever looked. Find yourself a good hairdresser and get yourself regular treatment to look your absolute best.
- Buy New Clothes
Are you wearing clothes from ten years ago? Buy yourself a new wardrobe! Find yourself a style that suits you best. If it is more sophisticated, or perhaps more urban find what works for you. You do NOT need to go out and buy only designer clothes! You can get away with almost anything these days but get what makes you look and feel great! Consider reading up on style blogs and websites too.
- Groom and Wash Regularly
Regular grooming and washing are essential not only for your confidence but for your personal hygiene too. If you do not do these regularly you will look and feel awful. Personally, I love starting my day with a nice hot shower and shave. So trim and shave wherever you need to, put on some cologne, and smell and feel fresh!
- Get Fitter
Now is the time to join a gym, start a workout plan, and eat right. If you are not in your ideal shape, the more you train and the more weight you lose or toned you become, the more confidence you will gain along the way. Not only that you are becoming far healthier too!
- Stand up straight
Bad posture means lack of confidence. If you are always slanting down, it is almost like psychologically you are bowing your head to people, like they are above you and you are beneath them. Not you! You are better than that! So, try to regularly stand up straight push your shoulders back, and almost instantly by walking taller you will feel a huge surge of confidence with it too.
#2 – Think Positive
By giving yourself negative self-talk on a regular basis will have a damaging effect on your confidence, and that is why you must start thinking more positive about yourself, regardless of your current situation and especially what others believe about you too.
Remember when you have negative thoughts, especially about yourself you are basically routing for the enemy, and why on earth do you want to do that?!
Here are some tips on how to think positive:
- Start the day with a positive affirmation
One of my personal favourite affirmations for thinking positive that I repeat to myself every single day is “I am enough.” It is simple, concise and carries me through life’s trials, especially when I need to confront somebody or something. You are enough, and you need to drum it home into your brain, so you truly realize that. By starting your day on a positive affirmation will lay the foundation for a far more positive life overall.
- Focus on the Good things
When my late father passed recently, I sat down and with tears in my eyes and a heart full of pain, reminded myself of all the great times we had together. All the lessons, all the memories, all the places we went to. If you focus on the good, it will make you stronger. I made it my personal goal to be the reliable person at his funeral. I stood tall, I made sure everything went according to plan. People later then told me “I cannot believe how strong you were.” My point is if I can handle myself that well in an exceedingly difficult situation, you can too. Focus on what is good in your life, not what is bad.
- Surround yourself with Positive People
Life is tough already, but if you associate with negative, toxic, and narcissistic people it will only get tougher for you. If you are already insecure or have self-doubt, these types of horrible people will only bring you down further. It is time to cut the ties with these people not only for your confidence to increase but also for your own wellbeing. By surrounding yourself with positive people will instantly make you feel better about yourself. Also, by having the strength to walk away from toxic people will also boost your confidence dramatically by showing that you have standards and healthy boundaries.
- Turn failures into lessons
When one of my businesses folded a couple of years ago, I was practically on my knees. But I learnt every lesson I possibly could and have come back stronger. Since starting SCG SHOW my confidence has skyrocketed, because I have developed myself as a person and learnt the harsh lessons and reality of business too. So, when you fail, or you lose, turn it into a lesson. Why do we fall? So we can learn to pick ourselves up again.
- Practice Gratitude
One of the keys to a successful life is to be more grateful, but it will also boost your confidence. For example, say you have just found out you have been cheated on. Be grateful that you have found out now, rather than years later. Another example say you feel bad about being single and you cannot attract anybody now. Be grateful you are not going through divorce or are with an abusive partner. By being more grateful you will boost your confidence dramatically.
#3 – Conquer Challenges
Remember this powerful quote:
“If you do what is easy your life will be hard, but instead if you do what is hard your life will be easy.”
I get it, you look on your social media and you see people with:
And all of that really gets you down.
But you must stop comparing yourself to others and start conquering more challenges.
When I first started my first business at 21 years old, I was told how I was going to fail, and that I am not smart enough etc.
But over a decade later, and I am in a better position than all of those who told me I was never good enough.
However, there was blood, sweat, tears and times where there was no success at all.
I never gave up, I kept going, I was determined to succeed no matter what happened, and no matter what anybody told me either.
By not conquering challenges, and staying where you are, where is the confidence in that?
If you have low self-esteem and do not try to do anything difficult or hard, how are you going to develop as a person?
You will just stagnate.
You will not improve, and you will become more insecure than confident.
Here is a list of things I have achieved despite people telling me I could not do it:
- Have a beautiful girlfriend
- Be in business for myself
- Be financially independent
- Build muscle
- Lose weight
- Have a sports car
- Sing in front of a crowd
- Make a speech in front of a crowd
- Have good quality friends
- Write a book
- Start a YouTube channel
I am not writing these to show off, but to inspire you that you too can do anything!
#4 – Stop Comparing to Others
I know it is so hard to not compare yourself to another person, even if you are so much like each other too.
However, you must get it into your head that you are completely different to that person in so many ways.
You had different parents, different home lives, different romantic partners, different bosses, teachers etc.
You are not the people you associate with no matter how similar you are.
Sometimes people can be born to the same parents and be complete opposites.
So why compare yourself to these people?
It is redundant, and a waste of time.
So what if somebody else has made more money than you?
So what if somebody else gets more dates?
So what if somebody else is better looking?
So what if somebody else is more popular?
There is only ONE person you want to compare yourself with and it is the ultimate key to not only improving your confidence but an overall better life.
And that person is YOU yesterday.
By doing this consistently you can bargain with the future and start improving yourself.
For example, if yesterday you cheated, lied, gambled, try not to today.
If yesterday you ate or drank too much, go for a jog, and eat healthy today.
If yesterday you got rejected, go out and try with somebody else today.
And keep going day by day, improving on the day before.
Warning, this can become very addictive.
But if you keep this up for five years straight, just think about the incredibly successful and confident person you will become.
And when you compare yourself to others transform your envy into your goals.
For example, if you see somebody have a nice car you cannot afford, instead of acting all envious, instead make it your goal to make more money.
You want to work hard so you too can be wealthy enough to buy a nice sports car too.
Same with your body, if that person you are jealous of has a great body, well sign up to the gym and start working out and eating right today.
What the others you compare yourself to have that you do not become your goals.
This is an enormously powerful and simple way to not only improve your confidence, but totally transform your overall life for the better.
#5 – Keep Learning and Growing
If you stand still and do not develop you will not become a more confident person.
A guy I know personally lacked confidence so badly that he would never ask a woman out because he was afraid of rejection.
Instead he would ask one woman out every few months, they would most likely reject him because he was so slow to make a move, and he would convince himself that “dating sucks and all women hate me.”
However, if he instead decided to work on himself, and learn how to talk to women, or grow as a person, he would realize dating for guys is a numbers game.
And with that he would be asking more women out and eventually some would say yes, and he would have regular dates, and ultimately a girlfriend.
The same can be applied with friends, work, appearance you name it.
For example, I had no idea how to grow a beard, and it always looked awful.
But with a simple google search, I realized that you can apply certain oils, you can wash it, and suddenly I have a glorious beard that not only makes me more attractive, and gives me more confidence in return.
You have got to keep learning more about life, and you have got to keep growing as a person.
Learn more about psychology so you can understand your flaws and you can improve on them.
Grow by going out of your comfort zone.
Go to new places.
Meet new people.
Do something a bit dangerous.
You will be immensely proud of yourself for doing this too, and you can and will become a better person.
And with your pride by saying “hey I managed to do something I always was afraid of,” will like a shock of lightning give you a rush of endorphins and a huge boost of self-esteem.
Believe in yourself, love yourself, and keep developing.
Remember; “One can choose to go back toward safety or forward toward growth. Growth must be chosen, again and again, fear must be overcome again and again.”