How to Practice NOT Caring What Others Think
This post is about how to practice not caring what others think.
There are 5 key components you can apply to your life to successfully practice not caring what others think entirely.
Other people’s opinions DO NOT MATTER!
Yes, you read that right, this includes:
- Your Friends
- Your Family
- Your Co-workers
- Your Teacher
- Your Boss
- Complete Strangers
If you simply take what other people say as the truth, you will always live a miserable life.
And worse, and this is the scary part, you will forever have your life dictated to you by other people!
I cannot think of anything worse but living my entire life and realizing that I never genuinely enjoyed it or pursued my goals because I was too afraid of what others might say or think about me.
I have spoken a great deal about the philosophy Stoicism, which can really help with not caring what others think, but for those who don’t know what it means to be a stoic;
“The endurance of pain or hardship without the display of feelings and without complaint.”
One core principle is stoics do not focus on the externals, aka what is going on outside of themselves this can include:
- Other People
- Material Goods
Instead the stoic is more focused on the internals such as:
- Their character
- Their integrity
- Their discipline
- How they react to situations
I remember practicing stoicism when I was badmouthed by a remarkably close friend, and as I walked away with tears in my eyes I said to myself, “I had great times and memories with that person, it is a shame for them it has come to an end, but life WILL go on.”
By not caring what others think, will open the doors of freedom, abundance, and confidence to come soaring through your veins, and you will no longer have anybody or anything holding you back too!
Here are 5 ways how to practice not caring what others think:
#1 – Their Comments Are About Them (NOT YOU!)
Have you ever been greeted with the following insults?
- “You are overweight”
- “You are ugly”
- “You are stupid”
- “You are a fool”
- “You are never going to amount to anything”
- “You are a loser”
Chances are assuming your life is not a complete mess, you are most likely any of these horribly personal insults.
But the reason why people make such nasty comments is because surprisingly they are talking about themselves, and NOT you!
Now I know what you are thinking; “but they are not overweight or ugly at all?!”
It does not matter, because when they look in the mirror, that is what they see.
That is what they tell themselves = “I am not good enough!”
So, when they see you and have the audacity to say such hurtful things, you must understand that they are instead talking about themselves.
I have had former toxic friends call me overweight, and they were in fairly good shape.
But I have seen these people then go on to others about how much they despise the way they look too!
Sure, we can always get a little bit slimmer or shed a few pounds, but when that comes towards you unannounced it can really hurt your feelings.
That is why you must understand and really get it into your head that when these nasty and abusive personal remarks come your way from anybody, it is about them NOT YOU!
Especially if it comes out of the blue!
The worst is when you are enjoying yourself and having a good time and a nasty almost vicious comment comes your way.
Cement it into your mind that for somebody to say that to you, displays an enormous sign of insecurity.
And instead of reacting and getting visually upset, just nod, and reply to them; “thanks for your opinion,” and walk away and get on with your life WITHOUT THEM!
Also remind yourself and apply logic to the situation.
A good thing to remind yourself is:
“That person must be dreadfully insecure about themselves that they would stoop so low to criticize me, especially when I never said or did anything too them!”
A good hack here is to have pity for them but do not display it to them at all!
Sadly, most people are narcissistic and toxic these days, but that is a whole other conversation in itself!
#2 – Other People Do Not Know What is Best for You
Let me ask you a question and please be honest with yourself:
“How many people in your life genuinely know what is best for you?”
Sometimes not even our own parents know what is best for us!
I remember during the height of the pandemic I took it very seriously for many reasons.
However, despite what was going on I still got the following calls from people all advising me to:
“Go out to a restaurant, you need to!”
“Go to a house party, let your hair down!”
“Go and drink in a pub, enjoy yourself!”
What they did not realize is despite the fact that I was in the vulnerable category in relation of the virus, so that is absolutely appalling and irresponsible advice.
My point is most people do know what is best for you and your life.
People just prefer to spat out opinions.
- “You should do this.”
- “You should go there”
- “You should buy this”
- “You should invest in this”
- “You should NOT do this”
The only person in the entire world who knows what is genuinely best for you is you!
Nobody else does!
There may be a small handful of people who MAY have some good constructive and helpful ideas and comments to improve your life and wellbeing.
But really you need to realize that nobody knows better than you in terms of what is best for you.
It is always good to be open minded but please take everything with a pinch of salt.
So, to practice not caring what others think, really grasp the understanding that it is you alone who knows what it is best for YOU.
The following list are the things in your life that you value above anything else:
- Your Health
- Your Relationships
- Your Career
- Your Happiness
- Your Money
- Your Hobbies
Nobody on earth knows what is better for you in these categories other than yourself!
#3 – Walk Away from Negative & Toxic People
Sadly, there are some malevolent people in life all around the globe.
That is why you must make friends with people who want what is best for you.
There is an especially important mantra that some of the most successful people on the planet swear and live by:
“You become who you surround yourself with.”
Therefore, if you surround yourself with drug addicts, you will become a drug addict.
If you surround yourself with losers, you will become a loser.
If you surround yourself with lazy people, you will become lazy.
This is genuinely true.
Sometimes people are on destructive, dark, and toxic paths.
Do NOT follow them!
Because there is no changing these people, ever!
People can be very narcissistic and can never be satisfied with anything.
Therefore, you will be setting yourself up for a lifetime of abuse, drama, negativity, and persistent toxic behaviour.
Is it worth it?
Life is WAY too short for that!
Realize who or what these toxic people are doing in your life, make a list of all the times they have let you down, insulted you, betrayed you, and ask yourself:
Is my life better or worse with them in it?
It is the 21st Century, we do not need to be with or surround ourselves with jerks and horrible people who drain us of our happiness, regardless if they are family, friends whoever!
The best way to not care about what people like that say or do is to just walk away.
I cannot stress enough how important it is to do that!
A good analogy is to think of them as somebody drowning.
You go over to offer a hand to rescue them, but instead of grabbing your hand so they can pull to safety they pull you down too and you both drown.
Metaphorically speaking they are pulling you down into their despair, their darkness, their madness etc.
So instead you let them go to see them drown.
One of my personal hero’s Dr Jordan Peterson has a famous quote; “do not cast pearls before swine,” aka do not waste your golden wisdom with pigs!
#4 – Realize You Are Doing Your Best
Social media and sorts have set most foolish people up with unrealistic expectations.
People want to look like models, be filthy rich, or all have six pack abs and bikini bodies.
But it is normally a complete fantasy life, and more of a big fat corporate lie.
So that is why people are stupidly and very foolishly comparing themselves to influencers with millions of followers etc.
Hence why they feel the need from the routes of their own insecurities to portray their opinions onto you.
“Why don’t you have a Porsche?”
“Why don’t you have a six pack?”
“Why don’t you stay in a five-star resort?”
“Why don’t you have a bigger house?”
If there is only one thing you take away from this post, please realize that you are doing your absolute best.
If you are reading this, I can confirm you are.
Because you are sick and tired of people abusing you, and you are trying to find a solution.
For that alone I am proud of you.
But to stop caring what others think about you, you have got to realize you are most likely doing the best you can.
There is always room for growth, I get that, but understand making smaller goals and doing them consistently is the better approach.
So when somebody criticizes you for most likely something superficial and farcical, understand that you know your limits, and you are trying your best and please be patient.
You will not get rich overnight, you will not have an amazing body without the hard work and the graft.
Most millennials want it quickly with little to no effort.
So instead pat yourself on the back for what you have achieved so far!
Be proud of your development, and especially what you have gone onto achieve.
Pro Tip = Make a list of all you have done.
Read it countless times and remind yourself what you have done.
When somebody called me a loser for no good reason, I took a step back and opened my list of achievements, read them, and smiled.
By the way they do not have to be huge goals, it could be you stopped drinking for a week, or you walked away from an abusive relationship.
The goal here is to take pride in you doing your absolute best, and you need to take comfort in that, so you no longer care what others think or say.
#5 – Practice Stoicism
I began this post discussing the philosophy of Stoicism, because it is so powerful in learning to stop caring what others think about you!
Do not worry I am not trying to convert you, but you can practice it to help you stop caring what others think about you.
There is a famous fable of a man back in the ancient times who dressed like a clown.
He walked down the street so he can see how people reacted to him.
They laughed at him, pointed, and jeered, and even threw food at him.
But the reason WHY he did it was to see what it was like to intentionally make a fool out of himself.
He wanted to be abused, and ridiculed.
Because he wanted to see if he can take it.
The toughest people can take and endure the abuse and ridicule of others.
Because it will ultimately have no real impact on their lives, as their opinions do not matter.
So, learn about stoicism, aka the art of letting go of other opinions.
Realize that if you were suddenly stripped naked and of all your possessions you will still have your brain.
You still have the mind that got you into and out of the many messes and challenges of your life.
You still have your integrity, even though everybody else may suggest otherwise.
You were born into his world with your character and spirit, and you will certainly depart it with that too.
You cannot take your friends, your money, car, house, or Xbox.
You can only take you as a person.
Therefore, to truly not care what others think, realize the only opinion that truly matters about you, is yours and yours alone.