Most Effective Ways to Get Your Ex Back
This post is about the most effective ways to get your ex back!
I will show you 5 effective and simple ways to get your ex back into your life, regardless of how or why your relationship ended.
So, your relationship ended, and it sucks, however rest assured that most people go through breakups.
But there are several things to consider, and so many variables to take into consideration too.
For example, were you the reason they ended the relationship?
Were you a cheater, a liar, an abuser, a gambler?
Or perhaps did YOU end the relationship with them?
And perhaps were THEY a cheater, a liar, an abuser, a gambler?
My point here is that before we discuss how to get your ex back, you need to understand WHY do you want them back anyway?
If they were a toxic individual or you were the toxic person, this relationship is doomed whether they come back or not.
Basically, the advice in this post may not be applicable for you, because I only want to tell the truth and be real for you.
So, your healing in the breakup season of your life is about building yourself up and rediscovering who you are.
Who were you BEFORE you met your ex?
What did you enjoy doing BEFORE you met your ex?
What made you happy BEFORE you met your ex?
Think of Mufasa in the Lion King when he revisits Simba as a spirit, he says:
“You have forgotten who you are, therefore have forgotten me. Look inside yourself, you are MORE than what you have become.”
I used to remind myself in my breakup seasons this all the time as well, and I suggest you do the same.
But regardless of that, let us assume you are meant to be together and perhaps you have no idea what went wrong.
Well here are 5 of the most effective ways to get your ex back into your life:
#1 – Give Them SPACE
Why are people so bad at giving people space these days?
I will tell you why = most people are riddled with insecurities.
So, if you and your partner have recently split you must give them space to process exactly what they are going through.
It does NOT matter what they do now.
They can go out and party.
They can stay home and cry.
One of my exes went out and partied for two weeks straight but then spent the following three months crying at home every night.
Everybody responds to space differently, so if you want to get them back you must give them it and respect what they want to do.
They are no longer committed to you, so they are free to do as they wish.
However, this works in your favour, because by being the respectful individual who allows them to process the breakup the way they want to is actually very attractive.
I always say in all my content = space is sexy.
No not the planets etc, as in allowing space with somebody, which will also make your ex MISS you more.
If you genuinely love somebody or something you must be willing to be able to let it go.
This will post breakup drive your ex crazy, and they will think about you nonstop.
#2 – DO NOT Contact Them!
How disciplined are you?
Probably not sadly.
Because can you go 6 months without talking to your ex?
How about a month?
This is where most people stumble, they are happy to just about give their ex space, but they bombard them with calls, texts, and emails.
Here is my advice do NOT contact them.
Applying the no contact rule works hand in hand with giving them space.
By doing this remarkably simple tactic you are again triggering the emotion of them missing you.
They will start to wonder what you are up to, what you are thinking, where you are going.
Because attraction grows in space!
90% of couples are co-dependent on each other, so to suddenly go from seeing each other every day and calling each other all the time is a huge dramatic change.
It will show like them you are ok, and you can survive without them.
It will show you are perfectly capable of living a fun and content life without your ex.
This will drive your ex bonkers, and they over time will start thinking “why haven’t they called me yet?!”
You MUST resist the urge, and I suggest going 21 days no contact initially UNLESS they contact you.
It takes theoretically speaking 21 days to build a habit with anything.
So, by going 21 days without calling or texting your ex will prepare you for the long run if you are to maybe not get back with them again.
And pro-tip IF they reach out to you first, ignore it.
Make sure you answer or reply the second or third time they get in touch, and if they question why you didn’t the first time, they got contacted with you just simply say, “I was busy.”
#3 – Do NOT Buy Them Gifts and No Gestures
Why is it we think we can buy people’s love with our wallets and purses?
Let me give you a very personal example.
One of my business mentors is a multi-millionaire.
And when his wife one day surprised him with prospect of getting divorced (they were married 30 years), he went ALL OUT to save the relationship.
He flew her all over the world, bought her a Rolex, a new car, you name it!
It cost him a fortune!
However, his wife still insisted they split, she did not love him anymore and after he left her, he cried telling me “why did I blow all that money for nothing?!”
Do NOT think you can buy your ex back with gifts or gestures.
That is like trying to convince somebody to love you for your money alone.
You want people to love and respect you for who you ARE not WHAT YOU ARE.
You cannot buy love, trust me.
So, stop thinking “if I get all these flowers,” or “I will hire a plane to write her name in the sky,” they will come back to me!
When somebody does not want to be with your why would you think they would want you back because of a present or a gesture?
Say you had a best friend and that friend just told you they hated you and did not want anything to do with you.
Would you go send that friend lavish expensive gifts?
You would despise them and never want to see them again.
If you want to get your ex back, do not go blowing a tonne of cash on over the top lame and cheesy gestures that will end up being a complete a waste of time.
Your ex will not appreciate it and it will not attract them back.
Spend the money on yourself instead, treat YOURSELF to something lavish!
This will trigger them to feel that they are not worthy of your time, energy and money and they will crave you even more!
#4 – Be the Better Person
Perhaps your ex cheated on you.
Be the better person.
Perhaps they stole and lied to you.
Be the better person.
Perhaps they said they hated you and abused you.
Be the better person.
Perhaps they went around and told your deepest secrets to everybody and humiliated you.
Be the better person.
What do I mean by be the better person?
The better person does not react the way they have.
If your ex has acted appallingly but you have not you are the better person.
If your ex has tried to trigger a reaction from you but you have not you are the better person.
Be mature and understand that when you act on emotions you can act irrationally, and you can do things you may regret.
By being the better person will make you even more attractive to your ex, because it will show that even under pressure and when things are going wrong, you can keep your cool.
This is a rule you should also apply to your life in general too.
#5 – Date Yourself
One of the most effective and important stages after any type of breakup is the stage of dating yourself.
What does it mean by dating yourself?
It means to look after yourself as if you were somebody you cared about e.g. a partner or a child.
Treat yourself to a fancy dinner.
Treat yourself to a luxury gift.
Treat yourself to a vacation.
Go out, party, eat, do whatever makes you happy.
It is essential for you to start your healing and treat yourself to some much needed and deserved self-love and care.
This will work in your favour, because your ex is expecting you to cry with a tub of ice cream every single night.
But instead you are truly living.
It will take on average 6 months for you to get over somebody and be ready to date again properly.
So, I would recommend to just enjoy yourself!
Chances are there were things you could not do or were not allowed to do in a relationship.
But now you can!
Do whatever you want!
I am NOT saying date around and sleep about with loads of people!
I am saying live your life, do what you want to treat yourself like somebody who you love and want to look after.
This will drive your ex crazy and miss you immensely!!