“The course of true love never did run smooth. …”
As a survivor of narcissistic abuse from friends, family, I noticed that the word “love” is thrown about a bit too often nowadays.
For example, people “love” coffee, people “love,” movies, etc etc.
But how many people truly love one another?
In an age and society of entitlement being on the rise, how can we be so sure that the person we hold and love so dearly in our hearts feels the same?
As somebody who has removed toxic people from their life and allowed better and normal healthy ones into it instead, you can see a significant difference.
But rather than focusing on red flags, let us focus instead on what to look for.
I have collected ten signs that I believe to be great indications somebody does truly love you.
But be warned, narcissists and toxic people can put on one hell of an act, however if you are seeing roughly over 50% of the total ten signs I am going to list, I can safely say you are not in dangerous waters for sure.
#1 – They have fun with you regardless
It is easy to love each other if you are on a rollercoaster, or watching an epic movie, or eating an amazing meal in a fancy restaurant.
But if you are opposite each other doing laundry, filling up petrol, or just walking in the park, and the energy is good and you are having a blast – they are a keeper.
Be warned of those who seek constant thrills, and money spent to hang out.
Those who truly love you, will do anything with you and will make it fun because they have a good positive, happy energy in your presence.
#2 – They treat you like they love you
This may be tough to understand but I will explain it to you in very simple terms.
Imagine you love someone or something, how do you treat it?
With care, respect, admiration, and you want what is best for it or them.
The same is going back in your direction.
If that person listens, respects you, wants what is best for you and above all compromises, they truly love you.
If you find yourself butting heads on the most basic of issues, then I am sorry, you have problems ahead of you my friend.
Good partners put you first and love everything about you, and their actions match their words.
A narcissist doesn’t, and you find yourself confused because they say they love you, but treat you like crap.
#3 – They look at you a lot
If someone is buried in their phone, or always looking away, that person doesn’t love you, truly at all.
Or if that person is fixated on you, especially when you may not look or feel your best, that person loves you truly.
I remember driving with an ex-girlfriend and we were singing songs in my car, and I could just feel her staring at me the whole time.
She adored me, and I am not going to lie it is a great feeling to experience.
Be sure to look at that persons actions especially with their eye contact toward you.
Those who look elsewhere, have their mind and heart elsewhere too.
#4 – They want to be with you a lot
My uncle told me this when I was a kid, “if somebody sacrifices their Friday or Saturday night when they could be partying with friends for an evening with you, they really love you.”
He was 100% right!
When somebody wants to spend all their time with you, they truly adore you.
They want to do everything and anything with you.
Even just going for a drive to pick up dry cleaning, they will do that and happily too because they love spending every second with you.
This is hard to find these days, especially with all the distractions of the world.
But luckily there are some who still act and feel this way.
Look out for it, the more they want to spend time with you the more they are in love with you.
#5 – They show empathy towards you in the good and bad times
A crystal clear indication someone is a narcissist or doesn’t love you is lack of empathy.
I remember the amount of times I tried to explain how I felt and was barely understood by an ex narcissist.
It was incredibly frustrating, and of course very upsetting too.
So when somebody is able to be empathetic, and feel the feelings you are going through, then you will know that person truly loves you.
A good scene in a movie is the Elliott and ET scene where they experience the same feelings mutually.
It is no different with a loved one.
If they are able to offer you emotional support through good and bad times, irrespective of how you feel they are truly in love with you.
#6 – Love is not hard or painful
One of the worst lies an ex narcissist told me is “sometimes relationships are rough, and you should accept that as normal.”
Whilst struggle can be inevitable, ultimately you should be very weary when it happens all the time.
When you are constantly fighting, and there is drama or more bad days then good – RUN.
Love should not be hard or painful.
You should not have to tread on eggshells, or worry how to act or be.
It is cliché but being yourself and being accepted by the other person is wonderful.
That is true love, not whatever a person tells you it should be.
#7 – They remember the little things
There is nothing sweeter and no clearer sign of true love when someone remembers the little things that make you who you are.
And no I am not talking about your birthday.
It is the little quirks or things you like or dislike.
For example I don’t like cheddar cheese, and one of my ex made a special meal for me without cheddar.
I only mentioned it once, but because she loved me she remembered.
These people are going above and beyond to please you, and that is why they remember.
#8 – You feel comfortable and safe
This is some amazing advice, if you never feel the following you are with a perfect partner;
A good partner loves you for who you are, inside and out.
They don’t play games, or make you feel bad.
You are allowed to be whom you are, and as a result you are loved for it.
You can be and feel completely safe around this person – always.
#9 – They see you in their future
If a person loves you very deeply they are perfectly fine with who you are.
That means also, they see you in the future.
That may mean, moving in together, or getting engaged, marriage or kids.
If they often plan their future with you in it, there is a huge sign they love you very much.
It could even mean a week in advance, when they see you full enrolled in their lives and immediate future, rest assured you are loved very much.
However if somebody cannot even properly commit to you short term in any capacity, or show any sign that they are serious about you – do not consider them for a relationship.
#10 – They are genuinely afraid to lose you
A person who truly loves you, and isn’t a toxic person manipulating you with games, is and would be devastated to lose you.
They have grown accustomed to you in their personal lives, and the very thought of them losing you, crushes them.
Many people unfortunately can use this to their advantage, particularly toxic people.
But those who are genuine and love that person mutually won’t.
In fact the feeling is mutual.
When love is pure and you are both happy – why leave?
Why even think about leaving?
Cherish each other, because whilst it may be tricky to find, true love is wonderful to experience and behold.