“Nice guys finish last.”
In the age of social media and widespread entitlement, does it pay to be a nice person?
Or how about paying to be a nice guy in general?
I knew a guy who was an over the top nice guy, in particular towards women.
We often compared him to Alan Harper from Two and a Half Men, the loser brother of Charlie Harper (played by Charlie Sheen).
The genius of the sitcom was the stark contrast in how the two lived their lives.
Alan Harper always tried to do the “right thing,” so to speak.
Whereas Charlie was selfish, egotistical, yet rich, successful and irresistible to women.
But to what type of women?
And is that not a form of narcissism?
Well the argument extends beyond Charlie into Alan.
Alan’s character comes off as rather nice, sweet, and a little bit pathetic.
Whereas the laid back and suave Charlie is the complete opposite.
But what people do not realize is Alan is a traditional “nice guy,” in today’s terms, however with alternative motives.
The modern day nice guy goes above and beyond for the approval of a woman they find attractive.
They would do chores, lend them money, and be that shoulder to cry on for the inevitable down period of when she feels “upset.”
However, that is usually when the nice guy shows his true colours which he has masked for quite a considerable period and immediately swoops in to “make a move.”
This is counterintuitive because the woman in question is stunned, “what the hell are you doing?” is how they usually respond.
To which the nice guy in a motion similar to word vomit spits out some undesirable truths, “I have loved you the moment I saw you, that is why I did everything you ask, kiss me please!”
What follows usually?
And suddenly Mr Nice guy goes back to his friends with tears in his eyes and tells them how she turned him down, and it didn’t work out.
But what was there to work out in the first place?
He had been devalued and been nothing short of a slave for this user and woman who was none the wiser to what was really going on.
When a woman relegates a man to the friend zone, there is no way out of it.
Most GOOD men do not waste their time with such a woman, and they go out into the world looking for a partner that values them in the same way.
The Nice guy who is a covert narcissist to some degree cannot handle the rejection, and his ego encourages to “convince her slowly but surely.”
Once upon a time I was in an Uber pool with a blind drunk woman who was trying to convince me to give me her number.
I was not interested and when I saw her hand I noticed her wearing a wedding ring.
“Are you married?!” I shouted.
“Engaged actually, to a REALLY NICE GUY….”
I couldn’t believe it, and I said to her “please for the love of god tell me you haven’t cheated….”
And in her drunk state she laughed and admitted to cheating on her fiancée regularly without him even knowing.
Disgusted by what I heard I asked her “so why are you with him, just break it off?”
“No!” she replied “he is paying for the wedding, and we have a lot of mutual friends, so no I won’t.”
The nice guy allows bad behaviour, encourages abuse, and tolerates being walked all over.
There is nothing good about the nice guy.
Good and nice are very different things.
Those who are good people do the right things.
Those who are usually nice have hidden agendas.
The nice guy wants the woman to fall for him, he would even befriend a woman who has a boyfriend in the hope they break up.
The nice guy manipulates people to feel sorry for him, and play the victim, a classic narcissistic trait.
The slyness and meek persona is entirely false, he has the agenda to screw people over.
However, what holds the nice guy back is he is a coward.
He is walked over by his friends, his boss, his parents, and most likely the woman he is pursuing.
It never ends, because the nice guy essentially is allowing the woman in his life to hold all the power.
Much to the bemusement of modern day feminists, most healthy and normal women seek a man who a natural is born leader.
They want him to be vulnerable in his emotions, but ultimately be the decision maker.
I have yet to personally meet a woman who disagrees.
And if I ever did, it would be one who was in a seriously unhappy relationship.
And by giving the woman who is treating the nice guy like a pushover everything they want, it reaches a stage of trying to please the unpleasable.
If the nice guy was upfront with his intentions, and feelings rather than playing a very dirty and foolish game, perhaps his life would be far better than it actually is.
Believe it or not divorce looms more so for the nice guy, than perhaps a man who is abusive.
Not that I am condoning any violence or manipulation of any sort, but what usually happens is when respect is never there in a relationship or attraction, the romance dies.
It is usually why the nice guy plays his hand too early in the fear that the woman he is not pursuing but instead begging to be with may pack up and leave him for someone else.
It is why they then, propose, have kids, buy a house only for them to divorce within the first few years of marriage.
Even in his career the nice guy is regularly finding himself at loggerheads with his boss, because he is too damn agreeable.
By being this way, he finds himself in a nasty predicament where he is “damned if I do, damned if I don’t.”
He cannot stand up to his boss due to his fear of being fired, and yet he doesn’t like taking any abuse but still continues to do so.
The nice guy runs on a basis of fear due to lack of self-improvement, narcissism and lack of confidence.
He has convinced himself that he is of a certain ilk, and must stick to this image and attempt to stab a few people in the back to try get what he wants.
However when the nice guy does get what he wants, he usually messes it up.
So what is the solution?
Why do nice guys finish last?
Nice guys finish last because they do not tell the truth nor take responsibility.
Instead they waste their entire lives trying to convince and manipulate others and situations into their favour.
But at the same time without having any self-reflection, they are completely dumbfounded how they have ended up paying alimony or child support for the kids they no longer see.
The solution is simple;
A woman, boss, your goals, whatever external to you does NOT respect a nice man.
They respect a good man.
I am not encouraging men to be arseholes.
I am encouraging them to do the right thing.
Tell the truth.
Ask the girl out, if you get rejected move on.
Ask for a promotion, if you don’t get it move to a different job.
Take responsibility and do not be afraid to take that risk.
Get in the gym, invest in your wardrobe.
But do good things, donate to charity, help people that deserve help.
Identify red flags of narcissists, and do not allow or tolerate any bad behaviour in the help that you will develop standards.
And by raising your standards you raise the quality of your life.
Remember those who do what is easy like the nice guys end up having hard lives.
However those who do what is hard end up having easy lives.
Nice guys finish last and are their own worst enemies.