“Be the change that you wish to see in the world.”
When I was a gambling addict, all I can say is it drove me to a depression I had never experienced before.
I had gambled so much in one particular week that I couldn’t even get out of bed for like 24 hours.
I was just so distraught, humiliated, and disgusted with myself.
I wanted so badly to be rid of this addiction, I hated it.
How could such a usually level headed and sensible person like myself be a bloody gambling addict?
I could ask a similar question to those who are reading this;
How did I get myself into this rut?
How the hell do I get out of this rut?
What we must understand is life always has ups and downs.
We are entitled to believe that we are always welcome of good times, happiness, and joy all the time.
A very naïve, and wrong way to think.
Using the law of attraction, and trusting and believing in the universe or god can also only get you so far.
It is better to understand like everything in life, there is a balance, a yin and a yang.
A good and an evil.
An up and a down.
And it doesn’t matter who you are or where you come from, ALL human beings unless they are bloody narcissists go through rut periods.
What would you define a rut to be?
A difficult, uninspiring, lazy and toxic period of time.
Where you are stagnant, doing things that do not benefit you, especially if it is “out of character.”
Having said that we must be careful as to who is accusing us of being in a rut.
I would not say somebody who is taking time turning their life around after narcissistic abuse by not rushing into a relationship, or many social events as a rut.
There is a big difference between being in a rut, and healing.
If like me you have been subject to narcissistic abuse, it is absolutely taxing and draining on our body mind and souls.
So it can take time to heal and recover, especially since there is no closure at the end of these awful types of relationships.
Our trust is in the gutter, along with our confidence.
The same cannot be said if for example you are god forbid going through a lazy period.
That is on you, you have chosen comfort.
You have decided not to start eating healthy.
You have chosen to indulge in pleasures that are toxic and no real good for your wellbeing.
What I am trying to say is, beyond healing/recovery vs being in a rut is very different.
If you are healing, my advice to you is ignore what idiots say to you about being “in a rut.”
They do not understand the trauma and toxicity you are processing.
For me, I searched for peace after narcissistic abuse, and I now spend my free time reading, listening to my music and relaxing.
To go from arguing, manipulation, abuse and plenty more every day to peace and quiet, is heaven to me.
I know it is not my future, but I am enjoying the recovery, and you should do the same.
But let us assume you are in a rut, you have found yourself off balance, and you are procrastinating, and so on.
What I did when I was addicted to gambling, or engaging in toxic behaviour that kept me in a rut, was educate myself as to how I got into this position.
So I read books, watched seminars, of addicts particularly gamblers.
I realized that I was manipulated into thinking gambling was “fun,” and that I SHOULD be doing it because it is cool.
I know that may seem silly to read, but it is the truth.
I then spoke to a former casino owner who told me “gambling is a lie, walk away do not pursue it do not ruin your life!”
It is no surprise that since I have been completely utterly clean of gambling my life has taken a dramatic turn for the better.
The same way can be applied to your life to get out of a rut.
Also there is most likely certain activities you are engaging in that are keeping you in a rut.
You could be sleeping too much – set your alarm earlier and wake the hell up.
You could be smoking or drinking too much – do your research and come clean.
You could be eating too much.
You could be hanging out with the wrong people.
Sometimes we are on an upward trajectory, and as a result those closest to us sometimes are the most dangerous to our self-improvement.
Because you are getting your act together, and they are not, they will criticise your life choices.
And as a result you take on their way of thinking, and instead of going to the gym you sit on your couch playing video games.
My advice here is only listen to this advice.
You know what you are doing that is holding you back, and you can stop it right now.
Imagine if you exercised every day for a year?
I don’t know exactly WHEN you will get into shape, but I guarantee you that your future self will pay off for it.
When I wrote my novel, I decided to write a page a day – easy right?
So a year later I had 365 pages of a book!
If you make the sacrifice today, your future self will benefit from it!
Doesn’t that excite you?
So you could be playing video games in the future AFTER reaching your goals.
Do the work NOW – because it pays off later.
Figure out “how did I get into this mess?”
9 times out of 10 you know exactly what you are doing that is holding you back, so very simply stop doing them.
And if you do not know why reach out to those who have been for advice.
You will be amazed what you can learn from other people – trust me.
Ultimately Frank Sinatra said it best;
“That’s life – that’s what all the people say – you’re riding high in April – shot down in May.
But I know I’m going to change that tune.
When I’m back on top, back on top in June!”
That is the fantastic thing ruts can be temporary if you understand it is a transitional period and YOU have the power to pull yourself out of it.
Only you can do it, nobody else.
Pull your socks up.
Put a smile on your face.
Get to work.
You got this.