Stop Chasing People
This post is about why you need to stop chasing people.
All my life I was chasing friends, family, romantic partners, and validation.
It is in the grand scheme of life a complete waste of time, and I explain in detail exactly why that is the case.
“Two things you will never have to chase: True friends & true love.”
One of my favourite cartoons growing up was the Road Runner and Wile Coyote.
I just really wanted him to finally catch the Road Runner!
He would try everything, spend loads of money buying items that ultimately got him injured or hurt.
And whilst we would all laugh at his failures, we would feel attached to his pursuit!
Because people love a chase.
People love games.
People think chasing is sexy.
Not just in a romantic sense, but in almost everything!
The ones who are hard to get, they just seem so much more beautiful and attractive.
However, like the quote above you should not have to chase true friends or love.
When we have worth as human beings, in a social sense, only the people that want what is best for you will see that.
You will NEVER be enough for the wrong person.
You will NEVER make a miserable person happy.
You will NEVER have a healthy life with an unhealthy person.
And by unhealthy I mean mentally, aka toxic and narcissistic individuals.
How could you possibly have a good life when somebody like that has no empathy, no sympathy, and no understanding of the emotional support you really need?
For over two decades, I have chased everybody in my life.
All my friends, all my relationships, women, casual sex, you name it.
And to what avail?
To what purpose?
To get stabbed in the back, to be lied to, to be cheated on, to be abused and mistreated.
By those who were the closest to me, and those I loved and adored.
So when I walked away from my narcissistic relationship of several years in 2019, I made myself a solid promise that I would always stick to;
“I will NEVER chase anybody ever again.”
This statement sent a massive shockwave to the remaining narcissists and toxic people in my life.
They found it incredible I had the inner strength to walk away from a toxic relationship, and to remain no contact with my ex narcissist.
These silent enemies could not believe how tough I was, and how I was able to set healthy boundaries and stand up for myself.
That is where further abuse unfolded.
People ridiculed me.
People questioned me.
People tried to play games with me.
People tried to embarrass me.
And worst of all my former best friend took it too far.
He decided to act cold and distant, knowing that I had told him I wouldn’t be chasing.
He purposely ignored my calls, my texts to hang out, and speak.
He cancelled plans last minute.
But unlike my former self, I didn’t chase, I just moved on.
I was then greeted with narcissistic rage, and abuse by this former friend.
He insulted me, abused me, to which I walked away and have never spoken to him since, despite him begging me to forgive him, and him insisting I was just “oversensitive.”
Wrong – he is just another toxic person.
Having standards, having boundaries will make you a lone wolf.
You will become VERY aware of peoples toxic behaviour and their ability to manipulate and abuse almost everybody around them.
But not me – and not you.
Because I do not chase.
I might meet the most beautiful woman.
But if she acts entitled, rude or disrespectful.
I won’t chase.
I might meet a nice dude to grab a beer with.
But if he starts acting like a douche, is rude, the usual.
I won’t chase.
If people won’t invite me out, or make an effort with me because they don’t value me.
I won’t chase.
I will instead chase my goals.
I will instead chase my dreams.
I will instead chase the truth – and the truth sets me free.
In the western world, we live in the most narcissistic and toxic woke culture I have ever seen.
I don’t subscribe to it.
I am perfectly fine eating a steak alone on a Saturday night listening to Jazz at peace.
What’s the alternative?
- A toxic narcissistic relationship?
- Dishonest friends?
- Jealous people?
However, as I improve my life, and my standards so do the people around me.
I have seen better quality people become attracted to me.
I have seen better results.
I think clearer, and more like a winner.
The doubts, the negativity, the insecurity.
These are being caused by the awful people you have chased and forced yourself to be surrounded by.
At 21 I would feel insecure by not being allowed or invited to the hottest parties in town!
Or that my friends would get girls and I would fail.
Now with my experience, my gratitude I radiate abundance.
I know exactly what I enjoy, and exactly what I don’t.
I will no longer force myself into situations or with people who I just do not have a connection with.
I am the prize, I am the wise, and I am the winner.
Winners win – losers lose.
Winners don’t chase anybody, they pursue their purpose in life.
And with that, they attract people and situations that will compliment them along their journey.
I believe I will find the right partner who will improve my life.
I believe better friends will come my way, and so on.
Time makes all toxic and narcissistic friends lose in the end.
I am patient, I am knowing how life pans out.
I don’t give up, I still work hard, and I train and do not cry in my basement.
I still pursue women, I ask them out and if I get rejected I know it’s all a journey.
And if I see red flags, I block and delete.
I do not chase the wrong people.
I do not chase the wrong things.
I do not chase toxicity.
If you want to truly change your life, especially if you are suffering from the anxiety of being ghosted, feeling left out, being disrespected.
Stop chasing people, it is NOT worth it.
What is more, do not be surprised for these people to come BACK into your life chasing you.
Do not accept their requests.
Those who know your worth, don’t play games.
That is why I am ruthless with dating.
Because I know what it is like dating the wrong type of person – not pretty?
Chase a better life – not a person.