The Mind Games the Narcissist Plays in Relationships
“We’re all puppets, and our best hope for even partial liberation is to try to decipher the logic of the puppeteer.”
Nobody on earth will play with your mind and screw with your psyche worse than a Narcissist, a sociopath or a psychopath.
Narcissists are the worst at messing with their victims on so many levels, that at the discard stage and after people have no idea what hit them.
It is a range of emotions, sadly more toxic and destructive than good.
I myself have had plenty of different types of Narcissists in my life from work to personal.
And there seems to be a very familiar pattern in the way they abuse their victim.
Unlike normal healthy people, Narcissists have own goal in mind;
#1 – To Control You
You are their puppet, they are the puppet masters.
And whilst they do so, they will treat you like dirt throughout the entire “show.”
“Show,” essentially meaning the entire relationship you have with them which is nothing short of a fad.
You will and always have meant absolutely nothing to any Narcissist that you had in your life, irrespective of how guilty they make you feel for thinking otherwise.
Good and loving people do NOT abuse others, and they care for you in a respectful way.
Successful relationships and healthy interactions are built on an overwhelming amount of love and respect given both ways equally.
Narcissists do not operate like that.
To understand the mind games they play you need to go right to the very moment you meet them.
The Narcissist always wants to get their way, and they want people around them to do the same.
Therefore, when you first meet them there is a certain aura or ambience around them.
They glow and radiate, and they are often very attractive too.
You fall for them at first sight, and think to yourselves, “wow they are sexy!”
That is when the first mind game begins, the love-bombing phase.
In this phase you are in love like you have never experienced before.
For me, I was hooked line and sinker.
I wanted to see them all the time, hang out, do things and it was like being on honeymoon without being married.
Narcissists will play this role so damn well, they will tell you how great you are, how sexy you make them feel.
You push boundaries, you go everywhere and anywhere with them, have so much fun, explore new sexual ideas too.
It is like going 100 miles per hour and you are at full speed with them.
#2 – To Get You to Trust Them Instantly
They want you to believe what they say and let them into your life, ideally your personal space.
By allowing these toxic bastards into your life in any capacity is like letting Dracula into bed with you.
Your blood will be sucked, what did you honestly expect?
You are being manipulated into believing the Narcissist has good intentions.
The victim falls into the venus fly trap, and is stuck – we’ve all been there.
They are no different to snake oil salesman, or professional scam artists of love.
#3 – Triangulation
This is how triangulation works:
Triangulation in the context of narcissistic abuse is the act of bringing another person or a group of people into the dynamic of a relationship or interaction to belittle the victim and make the victim “vie” for the attention of the narcissist.
My ex narcs all did this from ex partners, to ex colleagues and so on.
“He was a loser”
“He was a cheater”
“He was a scumbag”
“He didn’t appreciate me”
These were just some of plenty of words to describe exes that Narcissists shared with me.
Narcissists usually introduce triangulation later in a relationship, way after love-bombing and more into the degrading or devaluation phase.
Suddenly the exes they used to talk about so disgustingly become saints all of a sudden;
“My ex always listened”
“My ex did that for me”
“My ex kissed my feet”
“My ex actually wasn’t that bad”
What this ultimately is trying to do is convince us that there is something wrong with us for not allowing their bad behaviour.
Or even the fact we won’t put up with it.
They also have no problem telling us that they will replace us with somebody like their ex who will tolerate them if you won’t.
#4 – Gaslighting
I have an entire article on the subject right here;
In summary this mind game is to make us doubt our memory and sanity.
Nobody else makes us feel this way other than a Narcissist.
Did we actually catch them cheating or are we going crazy?
No – you are not crazy, they want you to feel that way.
It is in fact easier to just let it go than to face the wrath of the Narcissist.
This is mind control.
So many times I was made out to be crazy and doubt my own reality.
The truth always comes out guys, do not be fooled.
#5 – Baiting
I remember confiding in an ex- Narcissist friend I had a deeply embarrassing and personal secret that still to this day traumatizes me.
What did they do?
When I went out one night just because they “had a bad day at work,” they projected onto me revealing this horribly private story to all my friends in public.
Pure and utter humiliation.
To my amazement I was much more clued up on Narcissism that stage, so I got up with tears in my eyes and walked out of the room.
Never to see or speak to this individual ever again.
Narcissists know exactly what sets us off and they take great sick pleasure into waiting when we are surrounded by others before making a comment or statement that will cause us to react in an extremely negative manner.
Rise above it my friend – it just a sick twisted mind game.
And why it is so awful is because whilst we react full of rage and emotions, they are sat their almost stoic like and normal.
To the others present who comes off as crazy – you do.
But let me make something ultimately clear, those who are closest to you who aren’t Narcissistic in any shape or form will believe you.
They will love and support you, and I know it may feel lonely at times but they know what is best.
Ultimately these mind games are more devastating to those who have no idea what is going on, compared to the smart people like you who have read this post.
Please share it with those who you believe could benefit from it.