How to Deal with Difficult People in Our Lives
This post is about how to deal with difficult people in our lives.
I will also show you an excellent way how to handle insults.
Rude people are everywhere, and you need to learn the right way to deal and handle them.
“Rudeness is the weak man’s imitation of strength.”
Reality television and the rise of social media over the last few years has encouraged more narcissistic and entitled behaviour than in the history of modern civilization.
When it comes to rude people and insults they obviously go hand in hand with narcissistic personality disorder, sociopaths, and psychopaths to name a few.
But where does rudeness ultimately come from?
And why do people think it’s genuinely ok to insult us?
You have to understand that each and everyday people are rude and insulting almost everywhere.
- People are rude to others on the train to work.
- They are rude to waiters not bringing their food over soon enough.
- They are rude about everything and anything.
- Abuse and entitlement is everywhere.
As the quote says, it is a weak person’s imitation of strength.
However there is a difference in being rude and standing up for yourself.
If you find yourself in a slagging match with another rude person, whilst you may believe you are empowered and under the pretence that you are winning – really you are losing.
Rude people are usually disrespectful and have no filter, therefore they do what they want to get their way in order to make them feel good about themselves.
So if they insult you, and you do the same back to them, please tell me how that makes you better than them?
It doesn’t, you are lowering yourself to a level where you do NOT want to be.
You are most likely an empathetic person, where you feel for others, care, and show remorse.
Rude people aka narcissists, are not like this.
Because if they DID think about other people’s feelings, they would actually NOT insult others or be rude.
So why are people usually rude?
Well there are several main reasons.
As I have touched on before, they are most likely narcissistic.
Narcissism is on the rise unfortunately for good and kind people, and as a result empaths are on the receiving end of horrible abuse, manipulation and all kinds of toxic behaviour.
Narcissists are no different to spoilt brats, they do and say what they want, and do not care about the consequences of their actions.
So unlike you, they can call you dreadful names and feel no remorse, because essentially they are just rude and toxic people.
A connected strand of narcissism and rudeness is insecurity.
This may come as a surprise to you, but usually when somebody is insulting you it is actually bringing out a flaw in themselves.
So if somebody calls you fat for example, it is most likely that THEY see themselves as fat, or if they call you a loser, or anything deeply personal it.
That may be hard to understand, and they may be in great shape ironically, but deep down they are insecure.
They are uncomfortable in their skin, as therefore as their victim they project onto you in a sick way to make them feel better about themselves, whilst in the process hurting our feelings so badly for such a scathing attack.
Another reason why people are rude is one that is often overlooked and it is jealousy.
I have been subject to the most rude and ignorant insults by people richer and better looking than me.
Because they were jealous of how I carried myself.
I had natural confidence, I had belief in myself, and had always the ability to stand up for what I believed in.
Yet these rich and beautiful people hated me, despite them having everything anyone would ask for.
And that is due to the fact THEY lacked confidence, self-belief, and were weak on the inside.
People can on the surface have it all, but feel dead inside.
So they act rude because you possess something they will never have, and it is easier to project insults than to look within.
Narcissists never self-reflect, because they would rather be a victim and blame everybody and anything else for the problems they are facing.
Also rude people just have no empathy, therefore why would they care how hurt or insulted they have made you feel?
Remember, you are their emotional punching bag, you are the fix for their insecurity, jealousy, and narcissistic supply.
Luckily there is a way to deal with these individuals and my life experiences has shown me the best solutions.
I do not condone any forms of violence, and neither should you.
Turn the other cheek, and walk away, people are bloody crazy, it doesn’t matter how tough you are or think you can be.
You must pick yourself up, and walk away never to see that person again if you are faced with violence.
Fighting back with your fists will make matters worse.
The same goes with your words.
If somebody swears or insults you, doing it back to them will NOT solve any of your problems.
The best thing to do when faced with a rude person is to stay calm.
Do not react, but instead respond.
If somebody is hurling insults at you, just nod, be unfazed and try to remain calm.
Your calmness will aide you in your inner strength to combat such a malevolent person, and when the insults stop, simply tell them calmly the following;
“I am sorry, but I do not like the way you are speaking to me or treating me.
I find it to be very insulting and will not tolerate it.
So please stop it, thank you.”
Saying no to a narcissist is no different to a bad parent saying no to a spoilt brat.
They will not take it well, and they may get even more offensive!
So if you have conveyed your feelings calmly, and responded NOT reacted the only solution is to walk away.
Let me tell you a terrific method you can use today to help you in this process and that is the Gray rock method:
The grey rock method is a practice where an individual becomes emotionally non-responsive, boring, and virtually acts like a rock.
Emotional detachment serves to undermine a narcissist’s attempts to lure and manipulate, causing them to grow uninterested and bored.
So imagine yourself that you are a grey rock and how would it react to insults and rudeness?
It wouldn’t it would be dull, boring and unattached.
Rude people thrive off you being upset and hurt, but if you show you are not fazed and willing to go no contact and walk away, your pride and dignity increases tenfold!
Try it next time, and remember when you are faced with rudeness; go GREY ROCK!