“Hello stalker, I’m doing fine, and thanks for checking up on me.”
A Narcissist will always chase and become obsessed with what they can’t have.
Yes, the Narcissist will always want to do almost whatever it takes to get their way, because they are no different to spoilt children.
I’m going to assume you are reading this because you are a victim of Narcissistic abuse.
I must say I am sorry for what you are going through, and yes it is tough and confusing.
However, you are not alone.
There are plenty of us out there who have come into contact with Narcissists and survived and thrived.
Whilst it is easier to say than do, the initial stages after a discard or you walking away are always the toughest.
The Narcissist worked hard and tirelessly to gaslight you and make you obsessed with them.
They made you fixed on their drug which is their very being, how they operate, talk, flirt, love or make you feel.
You were fooled into believing this person was genuine and had extremely good intentions for you.
Unfortunately that couldn’t be further from the case.
You were lead down a spiralling hole into complete utter madness, no different to Alice chasing the white rabbit to wonderland.
Its sad yes, and you must work hard to get over it.
Narcissists usually come into our lives in a romantic sense, or they could be family members, friends or co-workers.
It doesn’t really matter where or how they do, instead understand from a spiritual standpoint that they have done.
And also understand that everything is going to be ok, and that you have nothing to worry about irrespective of how they threated to smear you or what have you.
Narcissists are dangerous more to themselves than to their victims.
But a common trend towards the end of any Narcissistic relationship is that either they discarded you or you have discarded them.
It is always more preferable if you discarded them, however a large majority wake up to find their lover or partner have just gotten up and left with their best friend or a random person they had just met a week before.
It hurts, its brutal I get it – but it’s part of life.
I could get into many reasons as to why or how this has happened but that is an entirely other subject.
The fact of the matter is right now most likely you are feeling angry and you are desperate to seek revenge on these individuals.
You are constantly looking back at all the photos the great times, the memories, the future you both had planned.
Or perhaps it was a friend you think their Narcissistic abuse towards you was just completely out of character.
Whether it be a partner or a friend I have one rule that you should apply to your life:
“Make friends with people who want the best for you.”
Narcissists will NEVER want the best for you, only themselves.
But I’ve digressed, you want them to be obsessed with you don’t you?
You want them to not stop thinking about you every single day?
I get it, from a spiteful standpoint, but the best way to do this is apply the following.
- Go No Contact & Stick To It
It is so easy to say “were done,” with a Narcissist one minute and find yourself in bed with them an hour later.
They are master manipulators, but all you are going to be doing is be stuck in a never ending cycle of abuse.
You will fight again, you will be gas lighted, and you will be manipulated.
You will get nowhere with a Narcissist ever, especially nowhere healthy and better than on a different path.
It is NOT your job to parent a Narcissist, or teach them right or wrong or how to have good morals.
They lack empathy because they are selfish, and are only seeking supply to make themselves feel better.
You were just a toy, a product, something they can play with or discard at their own doing.
That’s why regardless of who has discarded who, go no contact and get your bloody life back.
Cut them off every single form of contact – social media, WhatsApp, phone calls, texting, and if you have to stick to just emails.
But do not reply.
I have successfully been no contact with plenty of Narcissists over the years, and eventually they get the message.
Sticking to no contact with a Narcissist gives you an immense sense of pride, achievement and inner strength you never truly knew you possessed.
You will see the games they will play, and will pull out all the stops to grab your attention.
They’ll threaten suicide, violence, they will promise to change.
It’s all a lie, an act, they are frauds.
And because you go no contact you cut off the supply that they so desperately need to feel good about themselves.
Give it a few weeks, or months and eventually despite promising the earth and “not giving up on you,” they will become totally obsessed.
These disturbed individuals want what they cannot have, and you are denying them what they think they want.
Remember they don’t actually want you, they want the supply you give them.
By doing this like a drug addict who is denied their fix, they go into a complete utter meltdown.
It drives them crazy that they cannot control you or abuse you anymore, and suddenly they become Alice going down the rabbit hole into madness.
- Move on with your life and be grateful to be free
I see so many bitter and spiteful people angry that they are finally free of Narcissistic abuse.
My question to you is “why the hell are you angry?”
You no longer have to tread eggshells, have constant drama, and be made to feel so insecure.
You can grab life by the horns and bloody thrive!
Yes it’s daunting to be alone initially, but look on the bright side, a future with a Narcissist is far darker and gruesome than a life without one.
Being with a Narcissist can sabotage your sense of being, and can also make you feel confused especially in the discard stage.
I remember not knowing who I was, forgetting what made me happy, and having a real loss of identity.
This is because the Narcissist is trying to change you and mould you into what they want you to be, and you sacrifice your soul to these demons to still be under appreciated and abused.
But now you are free, and now as you plan your future without this person, you get an enormous sense of self control and power.
You take back your life and it is yours to thrive in whichever way you want.
You can now speak about whatever you like, and do whatever you like.
And the Narcissist will be obsessed by this because you are showing to yourself how strong and powerful you are without them.
They cannot handle that, because it makes them feel even more inferior than they already did before.
With that, they become utterly obsessed and they doubt themselves and their ability.
“I thought I was amazing, but look how good and well they are doing without me….why…” is what is running through their minds.
And they will mirror this, and show off how “great life is!” without you too.
But deep down you’ve hurt them.
By thriving and moving on without them in your life is the ultimate injury.
And they cannot on top of that contact you to abuse you or talk to you even more.
At this point the obsession is in full swing, and they will always think about you.
But the bigger question in all of this is why do you want them to be obsessed with you?
The best revenge is massive success.
I would instead focus on taking back control of your life, surviving and thriving.
You are going to be ok, and you WILL be better off without the Narcissist in your life.
I am living proof of this, and there are plenty of people out there who are too.