Let us assume you have recently just split with an ex, and it has come as a massive shock to you.
This applies to both men and women:
- You were the perfect partner.
- You gave them everything to make them happy.
- You saw a future with them.
And all of a sudden, much to your surprise they have told you they want to break up.
In this very instance, it is important to grieve the relationship.
Bad advice is often given by many people to “move on,” or “forget about them,” but that simply isn’t the case.
Other people do not know or realize the emotional and spiritual connection you had with this person.
They made you feel special, loved, and you truly miss them deeply.
So please, cry, feel sad, and let your emotions out.
Holding on to or worse bottling them all up will set you up for an almighty emotional crash in the long run.
If not in the future you could be just walking down the street and there is something that reminds them of you, and like a blubbering baby you will just break down and cry.
Let out your feelings, feel sad, it is perfectly understandable and normal to do so.
This advice only applies by the way if you were a decent partner, you weren’t narcissistic, abusive, or betrayed their trust.
This applies to those who did “everything right,” but find themselves dumped for no apparent reason.
Personally I do not go back with exes, it is just a preference for me, however I will give you some solid advice into answering whether they will miss or forget you over time.
The truth is, assuming your ex wanted to leave you, the best thing to do is agree with their request and let them go.
Your ex for some reason or another which is not important right now, has decided to walk their own path alone.
A buddy of mine weeks before he got married broke up his engagement to go to Asia and climb Mount Everest!
He was thinking and hoping to find the answers on his life’s journey.
But he said as he was approaching the summit and all along the way:
“All I was thinking about in that cold, brutal climate was my ex. The entire time. I hadn’t heard from her since we split, and I just wanted to go home and hold her in my arms again.”
And with that when he returned he did! – And they are both happily married with two kids for over ten years.
An ex will miss you 10x more when you apply no contact.
You must be willing to allow them to walk their journey alone, and you must make sure you do the same.
Reaching out, begging and pleading will only reinforce their decision.
Like my friend the mountain climber, the fact he had heard nothing from her, and he was doing something he always wanted on his own, drove him crazy.
He couldn’t forget her, he loved her too much.
Your ex does love you, despite the fact you have been broken up with.
But bombarding them with affection, chasing them, begging them to change their mind will only push them further and further away.
Time in a break up is essential, for both partners.
Time for them to heal, and recollect their emotions.
And time for you, to improve and self-reflect, particularly after you have grieved the break up in a healthy manner.
It is easy to listen to friends and feel resentful and bitter, but you want to come to a healthy conclusion regardless and understand and accept the relationship has come to an end.
A stoic way to think of it is everything eventually comes to an end in life.
So that way, you can be grateful for even having love and a relationship to begin with.
This grateful attitude will make you happier and more peaceful in this stressful time of your life, which will allow you to attract more positive outcomes into it instead.
If you choose to be upset, moody, bitter and resentful you will only see more of that.
Remember, there are people out there who have never had love in their life, and you were lucky to experience it at all.
So as you improve yourself, and you self-reflect, inevitably your ex WILL have a wakeup call.
They will be getting on with their life, and something or someone will remind them of just how great a partner you were.
But they will only ever truly have this on their own accord, and NOT via your influence.
When they are breaking up with you, it is because they believe having a relationship with you for some reason is a negative thing.
But as time goes on, the positives will outweigh the negatives, and they will remember just how wonderful life was with you in it with them.
It is important to highlight though, if your goals were not the same then you are chasing a lost cause.
Perhaps you wanted to get married and have kids, yet your ex never shared the same opinion.
So wanting an ex back who ultimately doesn’t share the same goals or future plans with you is not the best way to think.
However assuming you were on the same page and path, time and space is essential.
So if you have allowed no contact, you haven’t chased them since the break-up, no follow up texts or late night calls, I can all but guarantee they will be missing you.
But you can only guarantee them missing you if you successfully and healthily apply no contact.
Do not post on social media how upset you are, or how much you miss them.
Keep it classy, keep it happy.
Improve and reflect privately.
And for goodness sake do not wait around for them to call.
The moment when you feel better start dating again, but not straight away.
Your ex will most likely have that wakeup call when they are out with somebody else, and they will have a rush of emotions of just how great a partner to them you were.
Remember and whilst it is not important there was a reason why they left you, however time will not necessarily make them forget that, but allow them to appreciate you much more than what they did.
It is so easy to take people for granted.
And if you truly love someone, you got to let them go.
Holding a lover hostage in a relationship they no longer want to be in, is a sure fire way to want them to forget you.
Time is on your side, everything will be fine if you apply no contact and all that I have advised. They will more likely miss you than forget you if you do so.