God Narcissists, pain in the backside aren’t they!
There was an underlying feeling whether it be a Narcissistic friend, family member, or ex-partner I always thought to myself:
“I don’t believe what you are saying.”
For months I researched Narcissistic Personality Disorder in great detail.
I did so to the point where I was almost physically and mentally drained with the subject!
However, I am so glad I did so, and would consider myself well versed on the topic, and also I have first-hand experience on so many different occasions.
Let’s firstly talk about instinct and your gut.
Are you like me when you are proved right despite all other signs and people telling you others?
Do you jump for joy?
Do you shout at the top of your lungs “I knew it!?”
Well on a metaphysical level, and in terms of the law of attraction, our instinct often serves us well.
This goes all the way back to evolution, we have wired inside us a mechanism to assure us to stay protected from any predator or potential danger.
So when coming into contact or conflict with a Narcissistic or toxic individual, it is no surprise that you have that same instinct spike up.
Why is that?
Because you are trying to protect yourself.
Narcissists are master provokers, and are trying to destroy the one thing you love without realizing it, and that is your tranquillity.
They want you to feel terrible.
They want you to feel anxious.
They want you to feel miserable.
Because on the inside sadly, these toxic individuals feel these exact ways as I noted above.
I do not know the reason why, I’ll leave that to the professional psychologists.
But what I have noticed is all Narcissists are relatively similar.
I have said this time and time again:
Narcissists are just adult spoiled children.
They were never properly disciplined, and if they moaned or shouted loud enough as kids their lazy useless parents would cave in giving them whatever they would ask for.
It’s sad but true.
However, assuming you are an empathetic or non-Narcissistic individual, you have most likely heard the following phrases throughout your interactions with them.
I will dissect what they say vs what they truly mean.
Never believe what a Narcissist says, and instead watch how they act or what they do.
But here are 10 things Narcissists say vs what they actually mean:
- “I love you” = “I love owning you”
No surprise here, Narcissists see you as an object, a toy, and not the flesh and blood full of emotions you truly are.
No, they see you like a pet, a new iPhone, a product of their choosing.
And they will definitely treat you like a toy, they will throw it around, play with it when they want to, and throw it away when they are bored.
It’s sad to see yourself this way, but at the same time remind yourself of my analogy of them being spoiled children.
They will rant and rave to have you, and disregard you when they are bored.
Narcissists have no idea how to truly love themselves in a healthy way, let alone love somebody else.
So don’t believe them, they truly love owning you so they can ultimately control you.
- “I am sorry you feel that way” = “Let’s just move on”
Narcissists have no problem crapping all over you, starting a fight or just causing unnecessary drama leaving the core problems completely unresolved.
They will happily drive you insane, and then make you to be the crazy one by telling you to just “move on.”
What that really means is, “I am sick of fighting, I know I caused all this drama but let’s just move on. Accept me for being a toxic irresponsible person, and let us just have fun.”
It can be very hard to constantly be so forgiving, considering how malevolent they can be, and toxic.
They are never going to take responsibility for their actions, so that’s why they insist on stopping to fight and just moving on.
- “You’re oversensitive/overreacting” = “You are reacting to my disgraceful behaviour”
This one is a real zinger, because they are the ones causing absolutely crazy drama and they have the audacity to accuse you of overreacting?
My ex Narcissistic best friend projected on me because he was drunk and had a “bad day at work”, and he attacked my weight, my looks, everything about me.
And because I walked away and didn’t react he accused me of “overreacting.”
Sorry bucko, that type of behaviour to me is totally unacceptable, and I am well within my rights to walk away, which I did with pleasure.
Their behaviour is usually totally unacceptable, and if you are a person of any decent morals, you are just reacting to somebody being a toxic awful person who has no boundaries.
- “You’re crazy” = “I am a master of creating drama to provoke you.”
Narcissistic people are drama kings/queens.
They adore creating chaos and problems for all around them.
Because it gives them a sense of Narcissistic supply, which is ultimately attention.
So when the Narcissist has a full on adult tantrum, and screams shouts, pushes your buttons to the point you fly off the handle yourself, you are then greeted with:
“Wow, you are crazy!”
No, THEY ARE!
They are trying to bring you down to their own demonic, toxic and malevolent ways of thinking.
Think back to the spoiled kid who doesn’t get the new toy they wanted.
Now remember the tantrum they throw, especially in public.
That is downright crazy behaviour.
Now imagine that spoiled kid coming up to you and calling YOU crazy!
This is the same with the Narcissist.
- “My exes are crazy/losers/weird” = “I made my exes crazy. I am the loser.”
Most people rarely say anything good about an ex, however a Narcissist will absolutely bad mouth them to the core, especially if you are beginning to date them.
But like how they eventually drive you crazy they did the same to their ex.
They bring everybody down with them, toxic people just want to be flat out face first in the gutter.
And if you are not careful you will be joining them.
Also if they are calling their ex a loser or lazy, they are basically just describing themselves to your face.
Be smart, don’t fall for their BS.
- “She/he is just a friend” = “This person is my backup”
As much as you try to deny it,Narcissist’s are cheaters.
And they will cheat on you all the time, in so many different ways.
So when your gut tells you that you feel something is going on with someone they claim is “just a friend,” you are 100% correct.
Also, this person is going to at one stage or another become the new supply, so they present their backup plan to your face in advance!
- “You’re so jealous and insecure, and have trust issues = “I love the way you compete for my attention. I am an untrustworthy person”
Remember you are just a toy, an object, and constantly having to prove yourself and “fight” for the love of a Narcissist, which is a huge turn on for them.
Why? – Because they adore attention of any kind, and they love dram and what they are doing is admitting to being completely untrustworthy.
They are using manipulation and some dark twisted tactics to make sure you are feeling insecure, jealous and question trusting them.
Short answer, don’t!
And if you are ever greeted with such a reply, don’t try to get their attention, cut contact and run for the hills!
- “It’s not all about you” = “It’s really all about me, me, me!”
Narcissists are self-absorbed and self-obsessed.
So suggesting to do something YOU enjoy, and TREATING THEM for it, will only be greeted with such a reply.
They are spoiled kids, they don’t know what it’s like to share.
I remember being taken out by family for an expensive meal and to the theatre!
I was greeted with by my Narcissistic ex “I hope you get me an expensive present for my birthday!”
It will always go somehow back to them sadly.
- “No one would believe you” = “I’ve isolated you to the point where you feel you have no support”
Narcissists use this line to rationalize their crazy behaviour.
Do not believe it, and they truly believe that by cutting you away from friends and family, they are all you have left.
Truth is, you don’t.
I was lucky to have close family and friends who believed me and they had known exactly what I was going through, and have been nothing but wonderful and supportive.
Sometimes loved ones do not wish to get involved, and will remain silent and not encourage any rash decisions.
The best way to learn the truth is on your own.
And when you do, as always, the truth WILL set you free.
- “You’ll never find someone else like me” = “If you never find someone else like me, that’s a good thing.”
Much to many people’s surprise,Narcissists actually dislike themselves a great deal.
And when you are told this, it really means that they knew they are flawed, desperate and toxic individuals.
They also don’t want you to realize that if you walk away, and find a happier or healthier alternative it will expose them for what they truly are.