“Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.”
There is nothing more confusing at the beginning stage of a new relationship when you feel that your partner is giving you the cold shoulder.
Or worse, they are giving you mixed signals.
Assuming they are not narcissistic or sociopaths there can be many different reasons that this is happening.
One minute a woman you are dating will be all over you, cannot get enough of you, and constantly always want to be next to you.
They shower you with affection, they praise you, and look at you like you are the king of the world!
Then all of a sudden, she acts moody, cold and the complete opposite.
Whilst not being a lover of pets, I have often seen a quite hilarious yet interesting comparison between women and cats.
Have you ever tried to pet a cat that didn’t want to be petted?
Trust me, ask those and they will show you the claw marks!
The cat will scratch and claw away at you, because it simply just wants to be left alone and not be touched at all!
This very same mind-set can be applied to a woman.
There are many different reasons why a woman you are dating can be acting cold:
- She is very emotional
- She is stressed out
- She is down about something else
- She is playing hard to get
- It’s her “time of the month.”
Men because we think largely with logic more so than emotion find all this absolutely baffling.
We play a game of mental gymnastics and ask ourselves all the following questions:
- Why is she upset?
- What did I do to upset her?
- Why is she no longer friendly to me?
- Why does she no longer like me?
What this all boils down to is two major things – insecurity and lack of knowledge in how women act and feel.
Disney movies and TV have portrayed all relationships to be one big long song and dance with birds chirping and sunshine and rainbows all the time!
But the reality is, as with life is relationships are difficult.
You will fight.
You will disagree.
You will not always be happy.
You will hit speed bumps along the way!
So assuming that somebody albeit your partner is going to be in love with you and happy 100% of the time is ridiculous.
We all have mood swings, we all get angry.
However this is exactly where guys usually get it all wrong.
Like the cat analogy, they keep trying to give more and more attention hoping it will make things better.
They will eve beg and plead, and tell them they would do anything, scratch their back, give them milk, and more!
Unfortunately it is very difficult to tame an angry cat, and the same can be applied to a moody woman.
So usually when she backs away guys are buying her chocolates, flowers, and going completely overboard to show their affection!
They shower them with attention when that is NOT what they want at all.
And what does this do?
It kills attraction and pushes her further away.
A buddy of mine did this to his ex, when she was upset that she didn’t get a promotion at her work, but she didn’t want to tell him about it due to feeling embarrassed.
It was the first time in their relationship that he had seen her back away and be a bit distant.
But without properly talking to her or allowing her space, my friend became incredibly insecure and went all out to try and “bring her back to feeling good!”
He booked a vacation, bought her some expensive gifts, went all out!
She however just wanted to talk and have a bit of space.
He never allowed for that to happen.
It resulted in her becoming more and more distant from him, to the point where the insecurity he was going through drove him crazy.
He texted and called her several times a day, he stalked her social media, he even bombarded her friends with what was wrong.
And when he eventually found out that it was over her work, he had in fact pushed her away even further to the point she wanted nothing to do with him anymore.
She blocked him, broke up with him, and moved on.
This has happened so many times to so many different guys its becoming a regular thing.
Space is sexy – trust me on this.
And like I said, assuming your partner is NOT a narcissist or sociopath, whatever the reason why she is backing away is irrelevant.
The solution is to mirror her emotions too, and do the same.
However, do not be cold or rude, do it with a touch of class.
I often use the line, “you’re upset, give me a shout when you feel better.”
And I will not text, call or see a woman when she is backing away.
By doing so and allowing her the space she needs, she will eventually return back to her good place.
So by mirroring her in her backing away you can return to doing what makes you happy away from your relationship and your partner.
You can work on your goals, see your friends more, or even just read a book and reflect.
It doesn’t matter what you do, but working on yourself and living your life rather than chasing her when she backs away will only make you more attractive to her.
She will eventually calm down, and feel good again.
And when she does, I absolutely guarantee she will be more into you than ever before.
Remember the cat analogy, let the cat go do its own thing and it will eventually get over its mood swing.
But if you constantly try to pick it up and touch it against its will, it will claw your face off!
Let your partner heal and get over whatever it is that is bothering them.
Women sometimes are just a range of emotions, and they sometimes experience them all in one go!
We men can’t understand that, so they need time and space in order to find their good place again.
But not allowing them that space will only make them resent you more, and push you even further away, especially in the long run.
This goes against a guy’s natural instinct, because he fears that because she is backing away he will lose her.
If you want to almost guarantee losing her, chase her, bombard her, and beg for attention when she backs away.
Or do the smart move, play it cool, focus on your purpose and your own life.
And watch her come back into your arms even more affectionate to you in no time!