How to Get Over the Feeling of Rejection
I have lost count the amount of times in my life that I have been rejected, however I will teach you how to cope, as well as the art of letting go!
Here are some of the most recent rejections I have received in my life in the past few months;
“Hi SCG, I just wanted to say thank you for yesterday, I had a really lovely evening.
I am going to be honest with you though…
You are a really great guy and have a lot to offer, but things moved pretty quick for me and to tell you the truth I am just not ready for that level of commitment yet.
I think we’re are going to have to give our upcoming date a miss as I don’t want to give you false hope.”
Here is another:
“Thanks SCG for your email and information.
I have forwarded your details onto the team and unfortunately they have come back to say that they don’t have any opportunities for you.
We wish you luck in your search.
I can confirm that we have not registered your details on our files.
And one more for the road;
“Hey thanks so much what you are offering is fantastic!
However I know I said I wanted to work with you, but I have decided that I will be moving onto something different.
Sorry good luck!”
Unless you have never taken any form of risk in your life, you have most likely received some form of rejection.
Either romantic rejection by a spouse or someone you are dating, or even possibly a stranger you built up the courage to talk to.
Or maybe you are desperate for a certain career change or job, and recruiters or employers won’t even give you the time of day.
And of course for those who are self-employed where that a particular client or customer who looked to be the real deal, and promised you everything only to go to your most bitter rival or competitor.
Rejection is a part of life.
Thomas Edison failed 10,000 times.
Michael Jordan missed 9,000 shots.
Let me give you a personal example of rejection with dating and relationships.
When I was back in high school I was a horny bugger, and I fancied all the women.
I was also rejected by all the women, but here’s the kicker I didn’t care.
I saw it as “well were never going to be together after school, so I might as well ask them out.”
I am safe to say I have no romantic regrets because I have always been brave enough when I like a woman to ask her out.
If she rejects me yes it hurts, its gut wrenching, and it feels like being shot.
However in the LONG RUN what is worse is having never asked them out to begin with.
There is a fantastic mantra that I have always lived by:
“If you do what is easy your life will be hard. If you do what is hard your life will be easy.”
Here is another quote “you miss the shots you do not take.”
What have you got to lose and why do we fear rejection so much?
Some of the largest companies and their CEO’s in the world were rejected by teachers, and their bosses, families you name it!
Nobody saw the potential of some of the biggest brands in the world, and yet now there they are worth Billions of dollars albeit starting out in a garage or someone’s bedroom.
How I have always handled rejection in any capacity is that I realized (and you can resonate with this as you become older) is that life has a funny way of getting you what you want.
I always wanted a girlfriend to take to Disneyland and watch the fireworks with her in my arms.
Yes it’s a bit of a specific weird fantasy and for years I never got to do so.
But because I never gave up and as time went on I went to Disney a few times with my ex and got to experience the very thing my heart set out for.
Let’s get metaphysical for a second, what you think about you will attract.
But it will not be the way you think, and not in the manner you think either.
What you must do with rejection is see it as the temporary road block in your life’s marathon.
Life is a wonderful and often treacherous journey and if you are not prepared you will get blindsided.
It is easy for me at 15 when I first asked a girl out and got rejected to just say “well that’s it, I will curl up into a ball and never ask women out again!”
Giving up is the easy option, and remember by doing what is easy your life will be hard.
So I would easily have gone on without ever going out with a woman, and never dating nothing.
OR I could say this was ONE person, ONE opportunity, on a planet where there are billions of people.
What a tiny grain of sand I am in retrospect of the universe let alone planet earth.
Why should I be concerned by the fact this woman is not into me romantically?
Or that this company doesn’t want to do business with me?
Or this employer doesn’t want to hire me?
Let me tell you something if you do the following after a rejection;
1. See it as a blessing, the universe wants something different and better for you (I swear!)
2. Dust yourself off and realize unlike entitled people the world owes you nothing which leads to my next point
3. Be grateful for what you have and you will live in abundance
4. Improve on where you think you can, not where others believe so
With access to the internet you can learn how to improve almost any aspect of your life.
From dating, to grooming, to even how to play the guitar!
I self-taught myself the guitar, and let me tell you it certainly makes me very attractive to women.
Ultimately handling rejection is easy, if you are mature enough to understand that in the long term this was not right for you.
In a decades time if you carried on and didn’t give up and still persisted with your goals, desires and improved yourself you will be amazed where you are.
You won’t even remember the people or things that rejected you as you would have changed for the better a great deal.
See it as motivation and inspiration to improve.
Those who improve, work hard and never give up and eat rejection for breakfast.
You probably failed a handful of times, but Edison failed 10,000 and he still never gave up.
Be an Edison, be a Jordan, toughen up!
You’ve got this!