This video explains the first step in leaving the Narcissist in your life.
One of the biggest mistakes people often make, is that they fall head over heels into marriages or relationships with Narcissists.
Narcissism is on an unbelievable rise globally, with more and more divorces, stories of abuse, cheating and downright crazy behaviour in society from people with relatively “normal” backgrounds.
Unlike other psychological conditions e.g. schizophrenia, psychopaths etc, Narcissism is a little bit of a grey area.
There are many reasons why a Narcissist is created in a person. Remember nobody is BORN that way. They are manipulated and created.
Spoiled and entitled children often make grade A Narcissists in adult life, as Mom and Dad told them just how amazing they were and they always got everything they wanted.
I will focus on this particular type of Narcissist as it is one I have most “experience with.”
Look at the entitled child, he or she cries, screams, moans, hits, is rude, disrespectful and what happens?
Regardless they always get their shiny toy.
This child becomes a teenager and wants the latest phone, she may not throw a tantrum to that of a child but she will always get her new shiny phone.
Then it becomes a car.
Then an apartment or a home.
Then a partner who will do everything they want because remember they think they are “perfect.”
Dreadful parenting is a massive cause of entitlement.
Rather than instilling discipline and letting a child understand “no means no,” they create little monsters.
These monsters go out into society and see where they can get more of what they don’t deserve.
A classic red flag of a Narcissist is to see how they treat a waiter in a restaurant.
If they are rude, disrespectful to a person who they believe is beneath them, you are probably sitting right opposite a monster.
The better parent teaches gratitude, respect and boundaries with children. Lazy parents throw money at the situation to avoid the drama.
But that drama escalates and grows like a Tornado into adult life, and what is born is ugly beyond repair.
Empathetic people are victims of Narcissists, and have been throughout the course of modern society.
Empaths don’t understand what happens when a Narcissist is upset because they try to get into the mind-set of that person.
But empaths are kind, warm, understanding and have sympathy.
Narcs have no empathy. Why should they? They crap all over people and still “always get their way.”
Ouch, thats an awful line that, god I heard it so many times before, its such an ugly statement.
Who is entitled to “their way?” Adult spoiled babies that’s who.
But how do you leave a narcissist? Chances are you are reading this I have some bad news for you:
You are probably dealing with one.
But what is never discussed is the first step into leaving a Narcissist, and I figured it out by accident months before I did so myself.
The first step in leaving a narc, is realizing you are with one.
Once you do so, you will strangely breathe a huge sigh of relief.
Narcissists are predictable, they act the same, they do the same, and they are creatures of habit.
And when you see “no empathy, disrespectful, no boundaries, entitled,” and all the other red flags you will finally realize:
“I am with a Narcissist”
Perfect! I mean that, because now you can work on your escape.
So once you are 100% sure you are with one (trust your gut here, you are likely right that they are one), it’s time to work on what is needed.
You will need to plan your divorce.
You will need to find a new place to live.
You need to find a new job.
Walking away suddenly and leaving seems tempting, but if you do so you will be piecing back together your life in a much disorganized manner.
Plan everything. Seek advice, but do not discuss this with the narcissist, EVER.
Remember when you leave, you will be going no contact, and cutting them off.
Because guess what;
If you do not do so, they will do that to you.
The end is inevitable.
Narcs have no empathy, no remorse.
It’s why they have affairs and cheat.
But you can beat them to it, and that’s by planning your exit, and leaving with your dignity and pride.
You’ll have everything planned, and you can go on to a better and healthier life.
But remember that very first step, and that’s realizing you are with a Narcissist!
That is the key, and when that has been decided, it’s time to save your bloody life!
I consumed privately hours of content, read books and spoke to a therapist.
I highlighted all of the behaviour as I wanted to be 100% sure that I was with a Narc.
And the more I stood up for myself, the more I realized how bad and toxic Narcissists can be.
There is no talking, no explaining, no good that can come of it.
Simply put you and me and all other regular folk and professionally not trained to deal with such people.
Even therapists mention they are some of the hardest patients to treat, because remember they feel like they never do anything wrong.
It may be a gut wrenching truly awful discovery to find you are with such a toxic individual.
But it also means now is the time to plan your exit.
Luckily for me, and I mean lucky, my Narc ex was so rude and disrespectful toward me that I asked her to leave our home.
By that stage I had planned a new place to live, she was going home to her family and all was sorted.
I was weeks away from proposing, and I financially and spiritually dodged an almighty bullet.
You can too, but for god’s sake plan it.
Seek legal advice, talk to close family members and friends. Chances are they have been wanting to say you are dating the wrong person for years and they haven’t had the opportunity until now.
Keep things quiet, do it subtly from the Narcissist, it will only make things worse.
Do not feel guilty about it either, because you will need to leave eventually anyway, you might as well start today.